Old People and Weddings

DGS49

Diamond Member
Apr 12, 2012
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Social convention often dictates that you have to invite some old people to your, or your childrens' weddings. They are usually good for a pretty good gift, so have some consideration.

Seat them close enough to hear what is being said at the head table.

For God's sake, stop with the dozen speeches preceding the Best Man's toast. NOBODY CARES (except a few intimate friends and relatives), and it is excruciating to sit through descriptions of how your daughter first met her favorite sorority sister. And seriously, stifle your own desire to describe how much fun it was to raise your daughter from the time when she was in the womb. Again, nobody gives a shit. If you want to do all this stuff, do it at the rehearsal dinner or the bachelor party or something. NOT at the wedding itself.

We Old Farts like music, mostly music from the 60's, so throw us a bone. Have the DJ play one or two old songs for us before shifting to the music that the young folks (like the Bride & Groom) like.

DO NOT play music continuously for an hour straight! It is too loud to talk, and we don't hear so good. Play a 20 minute set, then stop for five or ten minutes, then start again.

It used to be that it was impolite to leave the reception before the Bride & Groom, so they would leave at 9:30 or so to go on their honeymoon. We realize that they have been living together for five years already so they really want to stay and party rather than getting out to consummate the marriage. Best practice now is to stop the music around 9:30, to say goodbye to the old bastards, then start playing again.

Give us a break.
 
Just don't go....Problem solved, problem staying solved.

The odd old person (say Great whatever) are invisible to the young anyway.....Just send them some cash if you have a mind to.
 
I never thought weddings were much anyway. I have never had a wedding. I've been to a number of them. Why all this bother?
 
Old people are good for putting their foot in their mouth. At one wedding, the father of the bride referred to his daughter as an old maid.
 
Just don't go....Problem solved, problem staying solved.

The odd old person (say Great whatever) are invisible to the young anyway.....Just send them some cash if you have a mind to.
Amen. I don't enjoy weddings or funerals and avoid both, when I can. I will be "late" to my own.
 
I was at a wedding a few years ago. I'm still not sure why. The bride was a cousin I barely knew (never met the groom before), stuffed into a suit I hate (in July, outside), barely-edible food, music (most of which I loathed) played at ever-increasing volume that quickly bordered on intolerable.

I'd much rather have spent the day riding my motorcycle.
 
One parent each side, one best friend speech each side. A short best man's speech. If it is a ring ceremony, leave the LDS or Catholic or evangelical woo woo nonsense out; no no one cares. Be nice to the old folks.
 

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