Protests: Fifty Shades as Glamorizing Domestic Violence

[ChrisL]

Hmm. So, according to some on here, my wanting my man to fantasize about ME, makes me fucked up, but getting off on abusing another human being is not.

No, it just shows your proclivity for saying others are fucked up because they don't do things your way.

NO it isn't. It is saying that people who get off on abusing another human being or being abused by another human being are fucked up, and they are.

You poor thing, you've never been spanked have you?

A "spanking" is not abuse. Tying people up and abusing them to the point where they need a "safety word" OTH is abuse. A simple spanking is NOT considered BDSM. It is MUCH more than just playful spanking or hair pulling. It is inflicting pain and injury on another human being and enjoying it to the point of orgasm.

 

[Katzndogz]

ChrisL's mischaracterization of such things being abuse reveals her simple (and correctable) ignorance of it. To her eyes, all she sees is the act of hitting and thus she sees "abuse." To the practitioners though it's pleasant and desireable and anything but abuse.

It'd be like calling the sport of boxing or other "hitting" sports abuse or assault.

Boxers don't get off on it. That is two people of similar height, build and weight, fighting to see who is stronger. Completely different set of circumstances, not at all comparable to tying people up and getting off on hurting them.

Suit yourself. Your objection though makes me wonder if you're "getting off" objecting to something. You must enjoy it or ya wouldn't be doing it.

No, just trying to make people realize that it is not sex. It is violence, and these people are getting off on the violence.

Understand a lot of people get off on violence. That doesn't make it normal. A lot of people eat foam rubber. That doesn't make sofa cushions a normal item on the menu.

 

[SmarterThanTheAverageBear]

Hmm. So, according to some on here, my wanting my man to fantasize about ME, makes me fucked up, but getting off on abusing another human being is not.

No, it just shows your proclivity for saying others are fucked up because they don't do things your way.

NO it isn't. It is saying that people who get off on abusing another human being or being abused by another human being are fucked up, and they are.

You poor thing, you've never been spanked have you?

A "spanking" is not abuse. Tying people up and abusing them to the point where they need a "safety word" OTH is abuse. A simple spanking is NOT considered BDSM. It is MUCH more than just playful spanking or hair pulling. It is inflicting pain and injury on another human being and enjoying it to the point of orgasm.

So put you down as "not kinky"

weren't you in another thread the other day chastising me about judging someone who wrote that they walk around naked in front of their children? See, I consider that child abuse.

 

[Katzndogz]

Hmm. So, according to some on here, my wanting my man to fantasize about ME, makes me fucked up, but getting off on abusing another human being is not.

No, it just shows your proclivity for saying others are fucked up because they don't do things your way.

NO it isn't. It is saying that people who get off on abusing another human being or being abused by another human being are fucked up, and they are.

You poor thing, you've never been spanked have you?

A "spanking" is not abuse. Tying people up and abusing them to the point where they need a "safety word" OTH is abuse. A simple spanking is NOT considered BDSM. It is MUCH more than just playful spanking or hair pulling. It is inflicting pain and injury on another human being and enjoying it to the point of orgasm.

If a man wants to spank his partner until he achieves orgasm and the partner objects is the partner not normal for rejecting this treatment?

 

[ChrisL]

ChrisL's mischaracterization of such things being abuse reveals her simple (and correctable) ignorance of it. To her eyes, all she sees is the act of hitting and thus she sees "abuse." To the practitioners though it's pleasant and desireable and anything but abuse.

It'd be like calling the sport of boxing or other "hitting" sports abuse or assault.

Boxers don't get off on it. That is two people of similar height, build and weight, fighting to see who is stronger. Completely different set of circumstances, not at all comparable to tying people up and getting off on hurting them.

Suit yourself. Your objection though makes me wonder if you're "getting off" objecting to something. You must enjoy it or ya wouldn't be doing it.

No, just trying to make people realize that it is not sex. It is violence, and these people are getting off on the violence.

Understand a lot of people get off on violence. That doesn't make it normal. A lot of people eat foam rubber. That doesn't make sofa cushions a normal item on the menu.

I don't know how people can be against domestic violence and say it is okay during sex. It is not okay. It is still abuse. Some women stay with their abusive husbands for years and years and love them and tolerate it. Doesn't make it right.

What do you think happens to a child's mind who grows up being abused by the people who are supposed to love and cherish him/her? They equate abuse and violence with love and affection. They might even seek it out as adults because they are at the very least confused individuals. Sex and love don't have anything to do with abuse and inflicting pain. Just the opposite. Sex should feel good and love should feel good.

 

[ChrisL]

Hmm. So, according to some on here, my wanting my man to fantasize about ME, makes me fucked up, but getting off on abusing another human being is not.

No, it just shows your proclivity for saying others are fucked up because they don't do things your way.

NO it isn't. It is saying that people who get off on abusing another human being or being abused by another human being are fucked up, and they are.

You poor thing, you've never been spanked have you?

A "spanking" is not abuse. Tying people up and abusing them to the point where they need a "safety word" OTH is abuse. A simple spanking is NOT considered BDSM. It is MUCH more than just playful spanking or hair pulling. It is inflicting pain and injury on another human being and enjoying it to the point of orgasm.

So put you down as "not kinky"

weren't you in another thread the other day chastising me about judging someone who wrote that they walk around naked in front of their children? See, I consider that child abuse.

Hey, if you want to discuss that then stay in that thread. Don't bring your issues here. Walking around naked is NOT abuse.

 

[Delta4Embassy]

What people get off on in the sexual sphere is many and varied. Clowns are even a thing. And dressing up as furry animals is also a thing.

Instead of going out of way to denounce and persecute these behaviours how about instead we try to appreciate there's only so many ways to have sex, and changing things up doing other than intercourse is just one of many ways of keeping sex fun.

Is hitting your sex partner because they want you to objectionable? To some yes, to others no. But should we denounce something just because some people have a problem with it? No. If something's so bad it deserves to be denounced we'll make a law restricting it. Otherwise, live and let live.

 

[ChrisL]

Hmm. So, according to some on here, my wanting my man to fantasize about ME, makes me fucked up, but getting off on abusing another human being is not.

No, it just shows your proclivity for saying others are fucked up because they don't do things your way.

NO it isn't. It is saying that people who get off on abusing another human being or being abused by another human being are fucked up, and they are.

You poor thing, you've never been spanked have you?

A "spanking" is not abuse. Tying people up and abusing them to the point where they need a "safety word" OTH is abuse. A simple spanking is NOT considered BDSM. It is MUCH more than just playful spanking or hair pulling. It is inflicting pain and injury on another human being and enjoying it to the point of orgasm.

So put you down as "not kinky"

weren't you in another thread the other day chastising me about judging someone who wrote that they walk around naked in front of their children? See, I consider that child abuse.

Also, I can easily turn this around you. You think that being abused is kinky sex but walking around nude is abuse? That's fucked up dude. FUCKED UP.

 

[ChrisL]

What people get off on in the sexual sphere is many and varied. Clowns are even a thing. And dressing up as furry animals is also a thing.

Instead of going out of way to denounce and persecute these behaviours how about instead we try to appreciate there's only so many ways to have sex, and changing things up doing other than intercourse is just one of many ways of keeping sex fun.

Is hitting your sex partner because they want you to objectionable? To some yes, to others no. But should we denounce something just because some people have a problem with it? No. If something's so bad it deserves to be denounced we'll make a law restricting it. Otherwise, live and let live.

It is objectionable. It is. I have the right to post my opinions on the subject matter. To me that is abuse and the person who is accepting of such abuse, not normal and not healthy.

 

[SmarterThanTheAverageBear]

No, it just shows your proclivity for saying others are fucked up because they don't do things your way.

NO it isn't. It is saying that people who get off on abusing another human being or being abused by another human being are fucked up, and they are.

You poor thing, you've never been spanked have you?

A "spanking" is not abuse. Tying people up and abusing them to the point where they need a "safety word" OTH is abuse. A simple spanking is NOT considered BDSM. It is MUCH more than just playful spanking or hair pulling. It is inflicting pain and injury on another human being and enjoying it to the point of orgasm.

So put you down as "not kinky"

weren't you in another thread the other day chastising me about judging someone who wrote that they walk around naked in front of their children? See, I consider that child abuse.

Hey, if you want to discuss that then stay in that thread. Don't bring your issues here. Walking around naked is NOT abuse.

I only brought it into this thread to show your hypocrisy.

In fact it's worse than hypocrisy because if a woman chooses to allow herself to be "abused" by a man, she's consented, why do you care what they do if it's consensual? On the other hand, I doubt that anyone who walks around naked in front of their children has asked them if it's okay with them. I can't think of a single child who wants to see their parents naked.

And of course children can't consent anyway.

 

[ChrisL]

Hmm. So, according to some on here, my wanting my man to fantasize about ME, makes me fucked up, but getting off on abusing another human being is not.

No, it just shows your proclivity for saying others are fucked up because they don't do things your way.

NO it isn't. It is saying that people who get off on abusing another human being or being abused by another human being are fucked up, and they are.

You poor thing, you've never been spanked have you?

A "spanking" is not abuse. Tying people up and abusing them to the point where they need a "safety word" OTH is abuse. A simple spanking is NOT considered BDSM. It is MUCH more than just playful spanking or hair pulling. It is inflicting pain and injury on another human being and enjoying it to the point of orgasm.

If a man wants to spank his partner until he achieves orgasm and the partner objects is the partner not normal for rejecting this treatment?

Well yes, if the partner says they don't wish to be spanked, then the other has no right to spank her or him. But in the case of being tied up and literally beaten, apples and oranges.

 

[SmarterThanTheAverageBear]

No, it just shows your proclivity for saying others are fucked up because they don't do things your way.

NO it isn't. It is saying that people who get off on abusing another human being or being abused by another human being are fucked up, and they are.

You poor thing, you've never been spanked have you?

A "spanking" is not abuse. Tying people up and abusing them to the point where they need a "safety word" OTH is abuse. A simple spanking is NOT considered BDSM. It is MUCH more than just playful spanking or hair pulling. It is inflicting pain and injury on another human being and enjoying it to the point of orgasm.

So put you down as "not kinky"

weren't you in another thread the other day chastising me about judging someone who wrote that they walk around naked in front of their children? See, I consider that child abuse.

Also, I can easily turn this around you. You think that being abused is kinky sex but walking around nude is abuse? That's fucked up dude. FUCKED UP.

No, I think what consenting adults do to or with each other is between THEM.

 

[ChrisL]

NO it isn't. It is saying that people who get off on abusing another human being or being abused by another human being are fucked up, and they are.

You poor thing, you've never been spanked have you?

A "spanking" is not abuse. Tying people up and abusing them to the point where they need a "safety word" OTH is abuse. A simple spanking is NOT considered BDSM. It is MUCH more than just playful spanking or hair pulling. It is inflicting pain and injury on another human being and enjoying it to the point of orgasm.

So put you down as "not kinky"

weren't you in another thread the other day chastising me about judging someone who wrote that they walk around naked in front of their children? See, I consider that child abuse.

Hey, if you want to discuss that then stay in that thread. Don't bring your issues here. Walking around naked is NOT abuse.

I only brought it into this thread to show your hypocrisy.

In fact it's worse than hypocrisy because if a woman chooses to allow herself to be "abused" by a man, she's consented, why do you care what they do if it's consensual? On the other hand, I doubt that anyone who walks around naked in front of their children has asked them if it's okay with them. I can't think of a single child who wants to see their parents naked.

And of course children can't consent anyway.

It is not, you nut job. Walking around nude is not abusive. BDSM is using sex as a guise for abusing people because you like hurting people.

 

[ChrisL]

NO it isn't. It is saying that people who get off on abusing another human being or being abused by another human being are fucked up, and they are.

You poor thing, you've never been spanked have you?

A "spanking" is not abuse. Tying people up and abusing them to the point where they need a "safety word" OTH is abuse. A simple spanking is NOT considered BDSM. It is MUCH more than just playful spanking or hair pulling. It is inflicting pain and injury on another human being and enjoying it to the point of orgasm.

So put you down as "not kinky"

weren't you in another thread the other day chastising me about judging someone who wrote that they walk around naked in front of their children? See, I consider that child abuse.

Also, I can easily turn this around you. You think that being abused is kinky sex but walking around nude is abuse? That's fucked up dude. FUCKED UP.

No, I think what consenting adults do to or with each other is between THEM.

Oh but you freak out about a person being nude. So nudity is abuse but abuse is not abuse to you? Seek help.

 

[SmarterThanTheAverageBear]

You poor thing, you've never been spanked have you?

A "spanking" is not abuse. Tying people up and abusing them to the point where they need a "safety word" OTH is abuse. A simple spanking is NOT considered BDSM. It is MUCH more than just playful spanking or hair pulling. It is inflicting pain and injury on another human being and enjoying it to the point of orgasm.

So put you down as "not kinky"

weren't you in another thread the other day chastising me about judging someone who wrote that they walk around naked in front of their children? See, I consider that child abuse.

Hey, if you want to discuss that then stay in that thread. Don't bring your issues here. Walking around naked is NOT abuse.

I only brought it into this thread to show your hypocrisy.

In fact it's worse than hypocrisy because if a woman chooses to allow herself to be "abused" by a man, she's consented, why do you care what they do if it's consensual? On the other hand, I doubt that anyone who walks around naked in front of their children has asked them if it's okay with them. I can't think of a single child who wants to see their parents naked.

And of course children can't consent anyway.

It is not, you nut job. Walking around nude is not abusive. BDSM is using sex as a guise for abusing people because you like hurting people.

Even if true, if they find someone who consents to being "abused" its frankly none of your business. Land of the free and all that.

 

[SmarterThanTheAverageBear]

You poor thing, you've never been spanked have you?

A "spanking" is not abuse. Tying people up and abusing them to the point where they need a "safety word" OTH is abuse. A simple spanking is NOT considered BDSM. It is MUCH more than just playful spanking or hair pulling. It is inflicting pain and injury on another human being and enjoying it to the point of orgasm.

So put you down as "not kinky"

weren't you in another thread the other day chastising me about judging someone who wrote that they walk around naked in front of their children? See, I consider that child abuse.

Also, I can easily turn this around you. You think that being abused is kinky sex but walking around nude is abuse? That's fucked up dude. FUCKED UP.

No, I think what consenting adults do to or with each other is between THEM.

Oh but you freak out about a person being nude. So nudity is abuse but abuse is not abuse to you? Seek help.

yeah the nudity of your own parents is mental abuse.

 

[Katzndogz]

What people get off on in the sexual sphere is many and varied. Clowns are even a thing. And dressing up as furry animals is also a thing.

Instead of going out of way to denounce and persecute these behaviours how about instead we try to appreciate there's only so many ways to have sex, and changing things up doing other than intercourse is just one of many ways of keeping sex fun.

Is hitting your sex partner because they want you to objectionable? To some yes, to others no. But should we denounce something just because some people have a problem with it? No. If something's so bad it deserves to be denounced we'll make a law restricting it. Otherwise, live and let live.

No one proposes denouncing persecuting or criminalizing. Just keep it in the proper abnormal perspective .

 

[ChrisL]

A "spanking" is not abuse. Tying people up and abusing them to the point where they need a "safety word" OTH is abuse. A simple spanking is NOT considered BDSM. It is MUCH more than just playful spanking or hair pulling. It is inflicting pain and injury on another human being and enjoying it to the point of orgasm.

So put you down as "not kinky"

weren't you in another thread the other day chastising me about judging someone who wrote that they walk around naked in front of their children? See, I consider that child abuse.

Hey, if you want to discuss that then stay in that thread. Don't bring your issues here. Walking around naked is NOT abuse.

I only brought it into this thread to show your hypocrisy.

In fact it's worse than hypocrisy because if a woman chooses to allow herself to be "abused" by a man, she's consented, why do you care what they do if it's consensual? On the other hand, I doubt that anyone who walks around naked in front of their children has asked them if it's okay with them. I can't think of a single child who wants to see their parents naked.

And of course children can't consent anyway.

It is not, you nut job. Walking around nude is not abusive. BDSM is using sex as a guise for abusing people because you like hurting people.

Even if true, if they find someone who consents to being "abused" its frankly none of your business. Land of the free and all that.

Still sick, and I can say so. THAT is what these message boards are for. Not for me to stifle my opinions, genius. Feel free to construct a post that makes sense in opposition to my claims. Telling me it is none of my business on a board designed for discussion is just dumb.

 

[Darkwind]

Things get heated since Ana still hasn't officially signed the contract. She doesn't feel comfortable with the thought of Christian trying to punish her for his pleasure. He tells her that he doesn't want to hurt her nor does he want to do anything that she wouldn't want him to do. She asks him why he wants to do this, to which he responds that he is "fifty shades of fucked up". Christian takes Ana into the kitchen and pulls her pants down to show her how extreme their BDSM relationship can be. He says he will whip her butt six times with his belt, and he makes her count. After the sixth whip, Ana is mortified and she retreats to the bedroom to lie in bed and cry. She doesn't want to see Christian right now. She tells him she's fallen in love with him, but she knows that she can't be what he wants her to be.

Ana gets up and heads for the elevator. Christian follows her and tries to stop her from leaving, but her mind is made up. As she steps into the elevator, he calls out to her, "Ana..." She only says, "Christian" as the elevator doors shut.
===========================

Doesn't sound like this was right for her. So all the time it was going on anyway, it was not respecting her boundaries.

The only good part is that if she does leave the relationship
then at least for that. Some women can't do that but end up stuck, and just get used to the abuse in order to have the relationship.

Does not sound like domestic abuse. She was still a willing participant. She was curious about it and went along. As I said, the author is clueless about BDSM and the writing is terrible. This was probably the worst written book I have tried to read in my adult life. But Ana was a willing participant. Domestic abuse victims are not. This sort of comparison, in fact, is harmful to those who are true victims of domestic abuse. They are NOT willing and, for whatever reason, believe that they either cannot leave or are responsible for the abuse.

Also, by all the traditional rules of BDSM, if she has not signed their contract (or at least given explicit verbal consent) nothing should have happened at all.

I agree. I have written better.

BDSM is NEVER about abuse and always, always, consent is given first.

People who are curious are never inducted in. They are taught and in some cases, shown what is involved.

The community will ostracize and report a person who does not have consent first.

 

[ChrisL]

A "spanking" is not abuse. Tying people up and abusing them to the point where they need a "safety word" OTH is abuse. A simple spanking is NOT considered BDSM. It is MUCH more than just playful spanking or hair pulling. It is inflicting pain and injury on another human being and enjoying it to the point of orgasm.

So put you down as "not kinky"

weren't you in another thread the other day chastising me about judging someone who wrote that they walk around naked in front of their children? See, I consider that child abuse.

Also, I can easily turn this around you. You think that being abused is kinky sex but walking around nude is abuse? That's fucked up dude. FUCKED UP.

No, I think what consenting adults do to or with each other is between THEM.

Oh but you freak out about a person being nude. So nudity is abuse but abuse is not abuse to you? Seek help.

yeah the nudity of your own parents is mental abuse.

You're a nut, obviously. I've seen my parents naked, and I was never abused. That has got to be one of the stupidest comments EVA!