alan1
Gold Member
I have met very few people who I consider have a life experience that would give them the perspective to comment on another human's quality of life/end of life decision, and all of them refuse to judge. I suspect that no one with the required life experience would feel capable of such judgment.
That said, emergency room staff and others who deal with situations considerably grimmer than the Indiana man sometimes have "last friend" understandings. If you are a party to one, you never EVER talk about it with anyone other than the other party.
There are family members and close friends of mine who have endured medical challenges more daunting than the gentleman in the news article who have chosen to endure and find their own meaning for continued life. I have been honored to know several who have looked into that dark place and found a courage to meet the despair. In my heart I know that beyond the courage there must be an end to each struggle, and that for each of us and everyone we care about, there is a point we must let go. The end of wisdom is knowing when that is.
Just commenting on the part I put in blue.
If the time comes that one needs to make the decision to end life support or not end it, that is a judgement, either way you go. I've had the unfortunate experience of having to be involved in such a decision for a sister of mine. My sister was diagnosed with leukemia at age 24, with medical treatment she was in and out of remission a few times. Nothing worked permanently and at 27, she was admitted to a hospital that focused on experimental treatment for decidedly terminal cancer cases. She was an active and vibrant young woman. Her passions were surfing, scuba-diving, boating, hiking and camping. The day came that the hospital told us they had exhausted all options to cure her. We (the family) had a decision to make. The hospital could keep her alive for months or even years by keeping her hooked up to a respirator, dialysis, feeding tubes and numerous other medical apparatus......or we could tell them to turn off the machines that were keeping her alive. They told us that if they turned off the machines she would be dead in 24 to 36 hours.
For such a physically active young woman, life supplied by machines was no kind of life. No quality.
As a family, we made the decision to "pull the plug". It was hard.
It was over 20 years ago, but I can still remember it as if it was yesterday. The doctors removed the tubes and wires and gizmos that keep a person alive. I stood at her bedside and I took her hand into mine. I leaned over and gave her a kiss on the cheek. I whispered in her ear, "I love you, but it's time we all let go". She opened her eyes for the first time in over a week and she smiled. She said the last word she would ever speak, "Goodbye".
Four hours later she was dead, not the 24 to 36 hours they told us. I believe she was ready to let go, the only thing holding her here was family. Our willingness to let her go, let her go in peace.