The Democrat Plantation, Circa 2024

[Lord Long Rod]

Howdy, ladies and gents!!! It is about that time again! The 2024 electshun is approaching faster than a couple of good old boys hauling ass to a bowl of hot grits! So I think it be bout time to check in on them old fellers at the old Democrat Plantation. Let’s see what’s going on down thar!



Banjo Interlude (use your imagination)



Down thar on that old Democrat Plantation, thar’s a lot of commotion about. It seems that them old plantation masters were having them a good old sit down in preparation fer the 2024 election that were fixin’ to happen.



They was all sittin round a table. Thar was Nancy Pelosi, Chucky Schumer, Hakeen Jeffries, and old Barry 5-0-Bama. Barry started out the meeting requesting a status of the Democrat campaign. Old Nancy sat down her wine glass and started blathering about how great the Dem’s chances were of holding onto the White House, retaking the House of Representatives, and building a lead in the Senate.



Obama replied warmly, “Come on now, Nancy. You are among comrades here. Give it to me straight.” Old Pelosi stammered and stuttered, then poured herself another glass of Port. Then she pulled out a flask from her Gucci purse and spiked her wine with some-another liquor. She continued, “Well, Big B, the truth is that we is leaking black and brown constituents like a fucking sieve. They is a’goin’ to the GOP, and especially Trump, like ‘n-words’ to barbecued hog jowls.” Old Obammy grimaced.



Then old Hakeem Jeffries spoke up. “Now looky here. It were MY understanding dat we weren’t not a’gonna call him ‘Trump’ no more. We wuz to refer to him as ‘Hitler’”, he said. Obama brushed him off. “You wuz late fo dat meeting, Hakeem. We dun decided dat we WUZ gonna keep calling him ‘Trump’ cuz he was WORSE than Hitler”, Obama said. Hakeem replied, “Oh, my apologies, suh!”



Obama then said, “Wat we is a’gonna do bout dis?!? Them blacks can’t be a’going to the Republicans! Hell, they would not be whar they at wiffout US! They OWE us!! We’uns gots to whip dem n-words inta shape!!! Chucky!! You got any idears on how we is gonna retain them black voters?!?”



Old Chucky Schumer chimed in, “Well, Mr. President. I figured we would just do what we always do. We would cheat like hell. We will use ballot harvesting, mail in voting, and all out brazen electoral fraud. It’s the Democrat way, sir.”



Obama said, “Hmmmm…” as he nodded with approval. Then he replied, “Well, while I fully endorse those tactics, and have used them in the past myself many times …” Obama then burst into maniacal laughter, which was followed by laughter in response from the rest of the folks.



Then Master Obammy continued, “While I fully endorse such tactics, I still have worries. Ya’ll see, if’n we keep doin it so brazenly like we have, we is liable to git our asses caught. So, while we WILL cheat, as an insurance policy, we still needs to whip them n-words into shape to keep an appearance of legitimacy.”



Chucky Schumer responded, “Well, Mr. President, we have been race shaming them. For example, we have created the rhetorical fiction of the ‘white supremacist negro’. It’s part of our enhanced Uncle Tom Project. We have MSNBC on it 24-7.” Obama nodded and thanked Chucky for his efforts in that regard.



Drunken Pelosi spoke up, “I think its them goddamned Squad punks. They making us look bad.” She then took another gulp from her wine glass. Obama said, “Yes, they are problematic. Communist and stupid is no way to fool the American people. They need to be a lot slicker about it, like me.” The group them stood and applauded Obama.



Good old Hakeem Jeffries interjected, “Looky here, Mista Presidente’, what we have here is … FAILURE TO COMMUNICATE! See, what we need to do is to CONVINCE the n-words of how totally EVIL the GOP and Hitler, oh, ummm … I mean, Trump, is. They is jest too backwoods-ass dumb to understand the intracalities of newaunces of our new comm-you-nist ideologimatics.” Then Hakeem nodded with a smile, proud of what he had just said.



After a pause, Obama told Jeffries to sit down. “We have been doing that, Hakeem. Yet the n-words are still leaving us.” Hakeem lowered his gaze in a look of dejection.



Chucky Schumer then piped in, “Well, hell, Mr. President. Let’s just do what we always do. Let’s buy their votes.” This got Obama’s attention. Schumer continued, “Yeah, we will concoct a new class of entitlements for them, even throw in national reparations for slavery, even though we know that will never happen. [they all chuckled] Then when it gets voted down, we can make the national election a referendum on the treatment of black America. The old ‘us vs. them’ trick. It’s the Democrat way.”



All eyes now went to Obama as he sat quietly and pondered Chucky’s words. The meeting was silent. Everyone waited on pins and needles for Barry’s response. Then it came.



Obama got a big shit-eating grin on his face, stood up, and said “Damn, Chucky!! You done did it again!!! I remember now why I put a Jew on this committee!!!!” Chucky got a big smile on his face as he sat there with his glasses about to fall off his nose. They all rejoiced.



The triumphant jubilee came to an abrupt halt as Pelosi’s head loudly “clunked” down on the table after she passed out. With a serious look on his face, Obama looked to Schumer and said, “Chucky, I want YOU to take point on this. Concoct the biggest, most outrageous black reparations plan you can think of, then get it on the Senate floor stat! Hakeem, do what Chucky tells you to do. Don’t act like a n-word and fuck around on this. LISTEN TO SCHUMER! Got it?” Hakeem replied, “YES SUH!!!”



Banjo Interlude



And so the Democrat slave masters had their marching orders. Obama went off to host Dem fundraising events in California and ogle white women. Chucky Schumer went off to conjure up the most racially divisive shit his devious little brain could dream up. Hakeem Jeffries went back to Congress to play with himself, and Nancy Pelosi was given an IV concoction of saline and Pinot Noir.



Yessiree!! We wus off to the races!!

 

[mudwhistle]

Howdy, ladies and gents!!! It is about that time again! The 2024 electshun is approaching faster than a couple of good old boys hauling ass to a bowl of hot grits! So I think it be bout time to check in on them old fellers at the old Democrat Plantation. Let’s see what’s going on down thar!



Banjo Interlude (use your imagination)



Down thar on that old Democrat Plantation, thar’s a lot of commotion about. It seems that them old plantation masters were having them a good old sit down in preparation fer the 2024 election that were fixin’ to happen.



They was all sittin round a table. Thar was Nancy Pelosi, Chucky Schumer, Hakeen Jeffries, and old Barry 5-0-Bama. Barry started out the meeting requesting a status of the Democrat campaign. Old Nancy sat down her wine glass and started blathering about how great the Dem’s chances were of holding onto the White House, retaking the House of Representatives, and building a lead in the Senate.



Obama replied warmly, “Come on now, Nancy. You are among comrades here. Give it to me straight.” Old Pelosi stammered and stuttered, then poured herself another glass of Port. Then she pulled out a flask from her Gucci purse and spiked her wine with some-another liquor. She continued, “Well, Big B, the truth is that we is leaking black and brown constituents like a fucking sieve. They is a’goin’ to the GOP, and especially Trump, like ‘n-words’ to barbecued hog jowls.” Old Obammy grimaced.



Then old Hakeem Jeffries spoke up. “Now looky here. It were MY understanding dat we weren’t not a’gonna call him ‘Trump’ no more. We wuz to refer to him as ‘Hitler’”, he said. Obama brushed him off. “You wuz late fo dat meeting, Hakeem. We dun decided dat we WUZ gonna keep calling him ‘Trump’ cuz he was WORSE than Hitler”, Obama said. Hakeem replied, “Oh, my apologies, suh!”



Obama then said, “Wat we is a’gonna do bout dis?!? Them blacks can’t be a’going to the Republicans! Hell, they would not be whar they at wiffout US! They OWE us!! We’uns gots to whip dem n-words inta shape!!! Chucky!! You got any idears on how we is gonna retain them black voters?!?”



Old Chucky Schumer chimed in, “Well, Mr. President. I figured we would just do what we always do. We would cheat like hell. We will use ballot harvesting, mail in voting, and all out brazen electoral fraud. It’s the Democrat way, sir.”



Obama said, “Hmmmm…” as he nodded with approval. Then he replied, “Well, while I fully endorse those tactics, and have used them in the past myself many times …” Obama then burst into maniacal laughter, which was followed by laughter in response from the rest of the folks.



Then Master Obammy continued, “While I fully endorse such tactics, I still have worries. Ya’ll see, if’n we keep doin it so brazenly like we have, we is liable to git our asses caught. So, while we WILL cheat, as an insurance policy, we still needs to whip them n-words into shape to keep an appearance of legitimacy.”



Chucky Schumer responded, “Well, Mr. President, we have been race shaming them. For example, we have created the rhetorical fiction of the ‘white supremacist negro’. It’s part of our enhanced Uncle Tom Project. We have MSNBC on it 24-7.” Obama nodded and thanked Chucky for his efforts in that regard.



Drunken Pelosi spoke up, “I think its them goddamned Squad punks. They making us look bad.” She then took another gulp from her wine glass. Obama said, “Yes, they are problematic. Communist and stupid is no way to fool the American people. They need to be a lot slicker about it, like me.” The group them stood and applauded Obama.



Good old Hakeem Jeffries interjected, “Looky here, Mista Presidente’, what we have here is … FAILURE TO COMMUNICATE! See, what we need to do is to CONVINCE the n-words of how totally EVIL the GOP and Hitler, oh, ummm … I mean, Trump, is. They is jest too backwoods-ass dumb to understand the intracalities of newaunces of our new comm-you-nist ideologimatics.” Then Hakeem nodded with a smile, proud of what he had just said.



After a pause, Obama told Jeffries to sit down. “We have been doing that, Hakeem. Yet the n-words are still leaving us.” Hakeem lowered his gaze in a look of dejection.



Chucky Schumer then piped in, “Well, hell, Mr. President. Let’s just do what we always do. Let’s buy their votes.” This got Obama’s attention. Schumer continued, “Yeah, we will concoct a new class of entitlements for them, even throw in national reparations for slavery, even though we know that will never happen. [they all chuckled] Then when it gets voted down, we can make the national election a referendum on the treatment of black America. The old ‘us vs. them’ trick. It’s the Democrat way.”



All eyes now went to Obama as he sat quietly and pondered Chucky’s words. The meeting was silent. Everyone waited on pins and needles for Barry’s response. Then it came.



Obama got a big shit-eating grin on his face, stood up, and said “Damn, Chucky!! You done did it again!!! I remember now why I put a Jew on this committee!!!!” Chucky got a big smile on his face as he sat there with his glasses about to fall off his nose. They all rejoiced.



The triumphant jubilee came to an abrupt halt as Pelosi’s head loudly “clunked” down on the table after she passed out. With a serious look on his face, Obama looked to Schumer and said, “Chucky, I want YOU to take point on this. Concoct the biggest, most outrageous black reparations plan you can think of, then get it on the Senate floor stat! Hakeem, do what Chucky tells you to do. Don’t act like a n-word and fuck around on this. LISTEN TO SCHUMER! Got it?” Hakeem replied, “YES SUH!!!”



Banjo Interlude



And so the Democrat slave masters had their marching orders. Obama went off to host Dem fundraising events in California and ogle white women. Chucky Schumer went off to conjure up the most racially divisive shit his devious little brain could dream up. Hakeem Jeffries went back to Congress to play with himself, and Nancy Pelosi was given an IV concoction of saline and Pinot Noir.



Yessiree!! We wus off to the races!!

No hablo English.