To all my black sista's raising families alone....take notes

[tigerred59]

There is one philosophy I've learned in life and it goes as follows and it works.

You raise a child giving them everything they NEED, I promise you, by the time they hit the teen years, you'll have a child gung ho and ready to get out and work each summer and after school. I promise you this.

But if your raise a child giving them everything they WANT, I warn you, by the time they hit the teen years, you'll have a child lacking motivation, lacking drive and respect for you, all done with one hand constantly out and if you don't provide it, someone else will.

My sisters, we have got to stop showing love with material things, the high end shoes, the Iphones, the pads, the labels.....it may make you feel good, but your laying the foundation for a failure in life. I've seen this happen time and time again.

I raised 5 kids, 2 of them my sisters.....I gave them love, I nurtured their needs, we talked, we engaged in conversations of current events, I was there for all the PTA's and homework and I gave each child, everything they could possibly need in this life to carry on...by the time they hit the teen years, they couldn't wait to get summer jobs.....SO THEY COULD GET THE THINGS THEY WANTED....cause there was no other way, cause mama didn't play the material world. All college educated, one in the military, one's a department store manager, one's a nurse, one works for the city and my baby, works for a publishing company...all healthy and thriving.

 

[koshergrl]

Why only black?

 

[Tank]

They NEED a father

 

[Anonymous1977]

There is one philosophy I've learned in life and it goes as follows and it works.

You raise a child giving them everything they NEED, I promise you, by the time they hit the teen years, you'll have a child gung ho and ready to get out and work each summer and after school. I promise you this.

But if your raise a child giving them everything they WANT, I warn you, by the time they hit the teen years, you'll have a child lacking motivation, lacking drive and respect for you, all done with one hand constantly out and if you don't provide it, someone else will.

My sisters, we have got to stop showing love with material things, the high end shoes, the Iphones, the pads, the labels.....it may make you feel good, but your laying the foundation for a failure in life. I've seen this happen time and time again.

I raised 5 kids, 2 of them my sisters.....I gave them love, I nurtured their needs, we talked, we engaged in conversations of current events, I was there for all the PTA's and homework and I gave each child, everything they could possibly need in this life to carry on...by the time they hit the teen years, they couldn't wait to get summer jobs.....SO THEY COULD GET THE THINGS THEY WANTED....cause there was no other way, cause mama didn't play the material world. All college educated, one in the military, one's a department store manager, one's a nurse, one works for the city and my baby, works for a publishing company...all healthy and thriving.

Peace, sister tigerred59,

I hope that you are doing fine today...I am doing fine.

I just wanted to say that, I'm an American Black male who thinks that the American Black family's state is part of a continuum...American slavery DESTROYED the Black family; the Black man's knowledge of how to be a father was taken away, and never given back to him and the American Black woman's knowledge of how to be a mother was taken away from her, and never given back, so today many of us just reproduce without knowing how to be fathers and mothers. Whites (in America) did us a damage that they never repaired and I don't think they ever will.

You might say there are books on proper parenting, but how can a Black person in America who knows the evil of Whites trust them to tell us anything good...before we were bogarted into our American experience by Whites, we knew how to be a family and if Whites took away our original knowledge then they are the responsible party for American Blacks not knowing how to be mothers & fathers. Or in other words, they owe Black people ALOT regarding what they did to us.

Peace and may God Bless you.
Anonymous1977

 

[Anonymous1977]

They NEED a father

Well unless you are a Black man (have experienced what the American Black male experienced & experiences,) I don't know how accurate your criticalness of American Black males can be.

"Never judge a man unless you are God, or until you have walked a mile in his shoes"...lol.

Peace and may God Bless you.
Anonymous1977

 

[Anonymous1977]

Why only black?

Why do people look out for family before looking out for strangers, jack-*ss?...

Anonymous1977

 

[Tank]

They NEED a father

Well unless you are a Black man (have experienced what the American Black male experienced & experiences,) I don't know how accurate your criticalness of American Black males can be.

"Never judge a man unless you are God, or until you have walked a mile in his shoes"...lol.

Peace and may God Bless you.
Anonymous1977

Am I wrong?

 

[Anonymous1977]

Am I wrong?

Are you wrong about what?

Are you wrong that children are best off with both the paternal and the maternal influence?

No, you are right in my opinion.

Are you wrong to try to be critical of American Black males, having never experienced (presumably) what American Black males experienced & experience?

I would say so; in my opinion.

Peace and may God Bless you.
Anonymous1977

 

[Roadrunner]

They NEED a father

That is true, but since they often don't have fathers, tips like this are needed.

 

[HereWeGoAgain]

There is one philosophy I've learned in life and it goes as follows and it works.

You raise a child giving them everything they NEED, I promise you, by the time they hit the teen years, you'll have a child gung ho and ready to get out and work each summer and after school. I promise you this.

But if your raise a child giving them everything they WANT, I warn you, by the time they hit the teen years, you'll have a child lacking motivation, lacking drive and respect for you, all done with one hand constantly out and if you don't provide it, someone else will.

My sisters, we have got to stop showing love with material things, the high end shoes, the Iphones, the pads, the labels.....it may make you feel good, but your laying the foundation for a failure in life. I've seen this happen time and time again.

I raised 5 kids, 2 of them my sisters.....I gave them love, I nurtured their needs, we talked, we engaged in conversations of current events, I was there for all the PTA's and homework and I gave each child, everything they could possibly need in this life to carry on...by the time they hit the teen years, they couldn't wait to get summer jobs.....SO THEY COULD GET THE THINGS THEY WANTED....cause there was no other way, cause mama didn't play the material world. All college educated, one in the military, one's a department store manager, one's a nurse, one works for the city and my baby, works for a publishing company...all healthy and thriving.

Peace, sister tigerred59,

I hope that you are doing fine today...I am doing fine.

I just wanted to say that, I'm an American Black male who thinks that the American Black family's state is part of a continuum...American slavery DESTROYED the Black family; the Black man's knowledge of how to be a father was taken away, and never given back to him and the American Black woman's knowledge of how to be a mother was taken away from her, and never given back, so today many of us just reproduce without knowing how to be fathers and mothers. Whites (in America) did us a damage that they never repaired and I don't think they ever will.

You might say there are books on proper parenting, but how can a Black person in America who knows the evil of Whites trust them to tell us anything good...before we were bogarted into our American experience by Whites, we knew how to be a family and if Whites took away our original knowledge then they are the responsible party for American Blacks not knowing how to be mothers & fathers. Or in other words, they owe Black people ALOT regarding what they did to us.

Peace and may God Bless you.
Anonymous1977

Slavery didnt steal that. You gave it away with your crappy culture perpetuated by democrats.
Go back to the days when you had family values and you'll see the black family improve.

 

[tigerred59]

There is one philosophy I've learned in life and it goes as follows and it works.

You raise a child giving them everything they NEED, I promise you, by the time they hit the teen years, you'll have a child gung ho and ready to get out and work each summer and after school. I promise you this.

But if your raise a child giving them everything they WANT, I warn you, by the time they hit the teen years, you'll have a child lacking motivation, lacking drive and respect for you, all done with one hand constantly out and if you don't provide it, someone else will.

My sisters, we have got to stop showing love with material things, the high end shoes, the Iphones, the pads, the labels.....it may make you feel good, but your laying the foundation for a failure in life. I've seen this happen time and time again.

I raised 5 kids, 2 of them my sisters.....I gave them love, I nurtured their needs, we talked, we engaged in conversations of current events, I was there for all the PTA's and homework and I gave each child, everything they could possibly need in this life to carry on...by the time they hit the teen years, they couldn't wait to get summer jobs.....SO THEY COULD GET THE THINGS THEY WANTED....cause there was no other way, cause mama didn't play the material world. All college educated, one in the military, one's a department store manager, one's a nurse, one works for the city and my baby, works for a publishing company...all healthy and thriving.

Peace, sister tigerred59,

I hope that you are doing fine today...I am doing fine.

I just wanted to say that, I'm an American Black male who thinks that the American Black family's state is part of a continuum...American slavery DESTROYED the Black family; the Black man's knowledge of how to be a father was taken away, and never given back to him and the American Black woman's knowledge of how to be a mother was taken away from her, and never given back, so today many of us just reproduce without knowing how to be fathers and mothers. Whites (in America) did us a damage that they never repaired and I don't think they ever will.

You might say there are books on proper parenting, but how can a Black person in America who knows the evil of Whites trust them to tell us anything good...before we were bogarted into our American experience by Whites, we knew how to be a family and if Whites took away our original knowledge then they are the responsible party for American Blacks not knowing how to be mothers & fathers. Or in other words, they owe Black people ALOT regarding what they did to us.

Peace and may God Bless you.
Anonymous1977

Peace to you also......l get the slavery mentality, I get the fact racism is alive and kicking, I get it......what I don't get is our allowing these barriers to keep us from raising good honest human beings before the outside world gets to them, ie the racism, the bias, the discrimination, etc. I say, lets deal with what we can control and address it. Lets equip our kids with the right social tools, the knowing that they're loved and that we have their backs. Far too many are let loose, never having the right tools of being nurtured and cared for. That's all I'm saying.

 

[Tank]

Am I wrong?

Are you wrong about what?

Are you wrong that children are best off with both the paternal and the maternal influence?

No, you are right in my opinion.

Are you wrong to try to be critical of American Black males, having never experienced (presumably) what American Black males experienced & experience?

I would say so; in my opinion.

Peace and may God Bless you.
Anonymous1977

What you say would make sense if it was not for the fact that blacks behave the same way all over the world

 

[tigerred59]

They NEED a father

Of course, all families need and deserve both parents....however, not having dad around is no excuse for black women not taking responsibility for raising healthy wanted children.

 

[tigerred59]

There is one philosophy I've learned in life and it goes as follows and it works.

You raise a child giving them everything they NEED, I promise you, by the time they hit the teen years, you'll have a child gung ho and ready to get out and work each summer and after school. I promise you this.

But if your raise a child giving them everything they WANT, I warn you, by the time they hit the teen years, you'll have a child lacking motivation, lacking drive and respect for you, all done with one hand constantly out and if you don't provide it, someone else will.

My sisters, we have got to stop showing love with material things, the high end shoes, the Iphones, the pads, the labels.....it may make you feel good, but your laying the foundation for a failure in life. I've seen this happen time and time again.

I raised 5 kids, 2 of them my sisters.....I gave them love, I nurtured their needs, we talked, we engaged in conversations of current events, I was there for all the PTA's and homework and I gave each child, everything they could possibly need in this life to carry on...by the time they hit the teen years, they couldn't wait to get summer jobs.....SO THEY COULD GET THE THINGS THEY WANTED....cause there was no other way, cause mama didn't play the material world. All college educated, one in the military, one's a department store manager, one's a nurse, one works for the city and my baby, works for a publishing company...all healthy and thriving.

Peace, sister tigerred59,

I hope that you are doing fine today...I am doing fine.

I just wanted to say that, I'm an American Black male who thinks that the American Black family's state is part of a continuum...American slavery DESTROYED the Black family; the Black man's knowledge of how to be a father was taken away, and never given back to him and the American Black woman's knowledge of how to be a mother was taken away from her, and never given back, so today many of us just reproduce without knowing how to be fathers and mothers. Whites (in America) did us a damage that they never repaired and I don't think they ever will.

You might say there are books on proper parenting, but how can a Black person in America who knows the evil of Whites trust them to tell us anything good...before we were bogarted into our American experience by Whites, we knew how to be a family and if Whites took away our original knowledge then they are the responsible party for American Blacks not knowing how to be mothers & fathers. Or in other words, they owe Black people ALOT regarding what they did to us.

Peace and may God Bless you.
Anonymous1977

Slavery didnt steal that. You gave it away with your crappy culture perpetuated by democrats.
Go back to the days when you had family values and you'll see the black family improve.

Black family improve???????? Listen, we may have issues within our communities and yes they're massive at times, but please don't believe that Harry and Louise ain't struggling too. I'm from Ky, bordering Indiana....you'd be amazed at bad you white folks are having it here....Massive massive drug usage, poverty, and violent crimes.....and believe me, its destroying a lot of families

 

[Roadrunner]

There is one philosophy I've learned in life and it goes as follows and it works.

You raise a child giving them everything they NEED, I promise you, by the time they hit the teen years, you'll have a child gung ho and ready to get out and work each summer and after school. I promise you this.

But if your raise a child giving them everything they WANT, I warn you, by the time they hit the teen years, you'll have a child lacking motivation, lacking drive and respect for you, all done with one hand constantly out and if you don't provide it, someone else will.

My sisters, we have got to stop showing love with material things, the high end shoes, the Iphones, the pads, the labels.....it may make you feel good, but your laying the foundation for a failure in life. I've seen this happen time and time again.

I raised 5 kids, 2 of them my sisters.....I gave them love, I nurtured their needs, we talked, we engaged in conversations of current events, I was there for all the PTA's and homework and I gave each child, everything they could possibly need in this life to carry on...by the time they hit the teen years, they couldn't wait to get summer jobs.....SO THEY COULD GET THE THINGS THEY WANTED....cause there was no other way, cause mama didn't play the material world. All college educated, one in the military, one's a department store manager, one's a nurse, one works for the city and my baby, works for a publishing company...all healthy and thriving.

Peace, sister tigerred59,

I hope that you are doing fine today...I am doing fine.

I just wanted to say that, I'm an American Black male who thinks that the American Black family's state is part of a continuum...American slavery DESTROYED the Black family; the Black man's knowledge of how to be a father was taken away, and never given back to him and the American Black woman's knowledge of how to be a mother was taken away from her, and never given back, so today many of us just reproduce without knowing how to be fathers and mothers. Whites (in America) did us a damage that they never repaired and I don't think they ever will.

You might say there are books on proper parenting, but how can a Black person in America who knows the evil of Whites trust them to tell us anything good...before we were bogarted into our American experience by Whites, we knew how to be a family and if Whites took away our original knowledge then they are the responsible party for American Blacks not knowing how to be mothers & fathers. Or in other words, they owe Black people ALOT regarding what they did to us.

Peace and may God Bless you.
Anonymous1977

Slavery didnt steal that. You gave it away with your crappy culture perpetuated by democrats.
Go back to the days when you had family values and you'll see the black family improve.

Black family improve???????? Listen, we may have issues within our communities and yes they're massive at times, but please don't believe that Harry and Louise ain't struggling too. I'm from Ky, bordering Indiana....you'd be amazed at bad you white folks are having it here....Massive massive drug usage, poverty, and violent crimes.....and believe me, its destroying a lot of families

That is the "fundamental transformation" of "hope and change", reduce the masses to the lowest common denominator for the benefit of the 1% that Obama represents.

 

[tigerred59]

Why only black?

Because I'm black and I talk on what I know and experience

 

[HereWeGoAgain]

There is one philosophy I've learned in life and it goes as follows and it works.

You raise a child giving them everything they NEED, I promise you, by the time they hit the teen years, you'll have a child gung ho and ready to get out and work each summer and after school. I promise you this.

But if your raise a child giving them everything they WANT, I warn you, by the time they hit the teen years, you'll have a child lacking motivation, lacking drive and respect for you, all done with one hand constantly out and if you don't provide it, someone else will.

My sisters, we have got to stop showing love with material things, the high end shoes, the Iphones, the pads, the labels.....it may make you feel good, but your laying the foundation for a failure in life. I've seen this happen time and time again.

I raised 5 kids, 2 of them my sisters.....I gave them love, I nurtured their needs, we talked, we engaged in conversations of current events, I was there for all the PTA's and homework and I gave each child, everything they could possibly need in this life to carry on...by the time they hit the teen years, they couldn't wait to get summer jobs.....SO THEY COULD GET THE THINGS THEY WANTED....cause there was no other way, cause mama didn't play the material world. All college educated, one in the military, one's a department store manager, one's a nurse, one works for the city and my baby, works for a publishing company...all healthy and thriving.

Peace, sister tigerred59,

I hope that you are doing fine today...I am doing fine.

I just wanted to say that, I'm an American Black male who thinks that the American Black family's state is part of a continuum...American slavery DESTROYED the Black family; the Black man's knowledge of how to be a father was taken away, and never given back to him and the American Black woman's knowledge of how to be a mother was taken away from her, and never given back, so today many of us just reproduce without knowing how to be fathers and mothers. Whites (in America) did us a damage that they never repaired and I don't think they ever will.

You might say there are books on proper parenting, but how can a Black person in America who knows the evil of Whites trust them to tell us anything good...before we were bogarted into our American experience by Whites, we knew how to be a family and if Whites took away our original knowledge then they are the responsible party for American Blacks not knowing how to be mothers & fathers. Or in other words, they owe Black people ALOT regarding what they did to us.

Peace and may God Bless you.
Anonymous1977

Slavery didnt steal that. You gave it away with your crappy culture perpetuated by democrats.
Go back to the days when you had family values and you'll see the black family improve.

Black family improve???????? Listen, we may have issues within our communities and yes they're massive at times, but please don't believe that Harry and Louise ain't struggling too. I'm from Ky, bordering Indiana....you'd be amazed at bad you white folks are having it here....Massive massive drug usage, poverty, and violent crimes.....and believe me, its destroying a lot of families

Sure there are problems with blacks and whites,but the percentages dont lie.
If you dont break the cycle of bad behavior among the black community nothing will ever change.
When your parent(roll model)still listens to rap music and teaches their young to hate the police and society in general you dont stand a chance.
I grew up privileged until my 11th birthday when my parents divorced. After that I was pretty much on my own yet I remembered my up bringing and that made me strive to better myself.
I knew things could be better no matter how bad my life was after the divorce and that gave me hope and drive to do the right thing. If you never have hope and a past to go by you're screwed.

 

[Delta4Embassy]

There is one philosophy I've learned in life and it goes as follows and it works.

You raise a child giving them everything they NEED, I promise you, by the time they hit the teen years, you'll have a child gung ho and ready to get out and work each summer and after school. I promise you this.

But if your raise a child giving them everything they WANT, I warn you, by the time they hit the teen years, you'll have a child lacking motivation, lacking drive and respect for you, all done with one hand constantly out and if you don't provide it, someone else will.

My sisters, we have got to stop showing love with material things, the high end shoes, the Iphones, the pads, the labels.....it may make you feel good, but your laying the foundation for a failure in life. I've seen this happen time and time again.

I raised 5 kids, 2 of them my sisters.....I gave them love, I nurtured their needs, we talked, we engaged in conversations of current events, I was there for all the PTA's and homework and I gave each child, everything they could possibly need in this life to carry on...by the time they hit the teen years, they couldn't wait to get summer jobs.....SO THEY COULD GET THE THINGS THEY WANTED....cause there was no other way, cause mama didn't play the material world. All college educated, one in the military, one's a department store manager, one's a nurse, one works for the city and my baby, works for a publishing company...all healthy and thriving.

Thinking of my own upbringing, my Mom followed your advice. Had everything I needed, but rarely anything I wanted. Result: not into materialism, benevolent and an asset to my community.

When you're raised with things, you come to rely on things to be happy and content. Should have just what you actually need, and learn to be happy and content (as I like to say) alone in an empty room. Kind of a Zen thing.

Thanks for sharing your wisdom.

 

[tigerred59]

There is one philosophy I've learned in life and it goes as follows and it works.

You raise a child giving them everything they NEED, I promise you, by the time they hit the teen years, you'll have a child gung ho and ready to get out and work each summer and after school. I promise you this.

But if your raise a child giving them everything they WANT, I warn you, by the time they hit the teen years, you'll have a child lacking motivation, lacking drive and respect for you, all done with one hand constantly out and if you don't provide it, someone else will.

My sisters, we have got to stop showing love with material things, the high end shoes, the Iphones, the pads, the labels.....it may make you feel good, but your laying the foundation for a failure in life. I've seen this happen time and time again.

I raised 5 kids, 2 of them my sisters.....I gave them love, I nurtured their needs, we talked, we engaged in conversations of current events, I was there for all the PTA's and homework and I gave each child, everything they could possibly need in this life to carry on...by the time they hit the teen years, they couldn't wait to get summer jobs.....SO THEY COULD GET THE THINGS THEY WANTED....cause there was no other way, cause mama didn't play the material world. All college educated, one in the military, one's a department store manager, one's a nurse, one works for the city and my baby, works for a publishing company...all healthy and thriving.

Peace, sister tigerred59,

I hope that you are doing fine today...I am doing fine.

I just wanted to say that, I'm an American Black male who thinks that the American Black family's state is part of a continuum...American slavery DESTROYED the Black family; the Black man's knowledge of how to be a father was taken away, and never given back to him and the American Black woman's knowledge of how to be a mother was taken away from her, and never given back, so today many of us just reproduce without knowing how to be fathers and mothers. Whites (in America) did us a damage that they never repaired and I don't think they ever will.

You might say there are books on proper parenting, but how can a Black person in America who knows the evil of Whites trust them to tell us anything good...before we were bogarted into our American experience by Whites, we knew how to be a family and if Whites took away our original knowledge then they are the responsible party for American Blacks not knowing how to be mothers & fathers. Or in other words, they owe Black people ALOT regarding what they did to us.

Peace and may God Bless you.
Anonymous1977

Slavery didnt steal that. You gave it away with your crappy culture perpetuated by democrats.
Go back to the days when you had family values and you'll see the black family improve.

Black family improve???????? Listen, we may have issues within our communities and yes they're massive at times, but please don't believe that Harry and Louise ain't struggling too. I'm from Ky, bordering Indiana....you'd be amazed at bad you white folks are having it here....Massive massive drug usage, poverty, and violent crimes.....and believe me, its destroying a lot of families

Sure there are problems with blacks and whites,but the percentages dont lie.
If you dont break the cycle of bad behavior among the black community nothing will ever change.
When your parent(roll model)still listens to rap music and teaches their young to hate the police and society in general you dont stand a chance.
I grew up privileged until my 11th birthday when my parents divorced. After that I was pretty much on my own yet I remembered my up bringing and that made me strive to better myself.
I knew things could be better no matter how bad my life was after the divorce and that gave me hope and drive to do the right thing. If you never have hope and a past to go by you're screwed.

First lets revert back to my original posting....no where in there do I address race, nowhere....yet we always manage to draw ourselves into this category.....that's a problem to me. Racism can't stop a poor broke black man from showing up at a PTA meeting or a birthday party for his child. Racism isn't inside a home, where mama's on her cell phone doing instagrams. Listen, something is systematically wrong in my community, too many kids are being killed unnecessarily, too many women are struggling to make ends meet, we're dropping out of schools too soon and we're being targeted from all ends.....and this is becoming generational......I mean we're still struggling in 2015 to love the skin we're in.....its just sad and the cycle has got break at some point, but when?

 

[tigerred59]

There is one philosophy I've learned in life and it goes as follows and it works.

You raise a child giving them everything they NEED, I promise you, by the time they hit the teen years, you'll have a child gung ho and ready to get out and work each summer and after school. I promise you this.

But if your raise a child giving them everything they WANT, I warn you, by the time they hit the teen years, you'll have a child lacking motivation, lacking drive and respect for you, all done with one hand constantly out and if you don't provide it, someone else will.

My sisters, we have got to stop showing love with material things, the high end shoes, the Iphones, the pads, the labels.....it may make you feel good, but your laying the foundation for a failure in life. I've seen this happen time and time again.

I raised 5 kids, 2 of them my sisters.....I gave them love, I nurtured their needs, we talked, we engaged in conversations of current events, I was there for all the PTA's and homework and I gave each child, everything they could possibly need in this life to carry on...by the time they hit the teen years, they couldn't wait to get summer jobs.....SO THEY COULD GET THE THINGS THEY WANTED....cause there was no other way, cause mama didn't play the material world. All college educated, one in the military, one's a department store manager, one's a nurse, one works for the city and my baby, works for a publishing company...all healthy and thriving.

Thinking of my own upbringing, my Mom followed your advice. Had everything I needed, but rarely anything I wanted. Result: not into materialism, benevolent and an asset to my community.

When you're raised with things, you come to rely on things to be happy and content. Should have just what you actually need, and learn to be happy and content (as I like to say) alone in an empty room. Kind of a Zen thing.

Thanks for sharing your wisdom.

Wow, I'm glad to see your parents followed that rule of thumb and it works. My oldest daughter's first paycheck at 16, she went out and bought this Rocawear short set.....119 bucks and I didn't say a word, it was her money. After a few washings, it shrunk and bled (smile). Today at 30, she spends her money wisely and forgo's the labels and everything including high end made in China crap. Now had she went to Target, she could have gotten several short sets!!