USMB Coffee Shop IV

[Foxfyre]

Well, winter finally arrived. A few inches of snow over a solid quarter inch of ice. It still isn't very cold, hovering around freezing.
The partner is improving, slowly. I finally gave in to his bullying and rants and handed the car keys over with the prayer that he not take anyone else out. IMHO, he is not capable of responding physically to any sudden requirement for fast, positive action while driving a motor vehicle. But, the bullying, rants, and tantrums were terrible. He has still not made good on his threats to return to his house in Anchorage, a constant threat when he's not getting his way. I think that at some level he realizes he can't quite do much on his own. He's been diagnosed with cerebral vasculitis but refuses to do the tests and see the neurosurgeon for a specific diagnosis. An unfortunate side effect seems to be increased irrationality and temper flare-ups. He's becoming quite unreasonable, more than before. My compassion will only stretch so far before I break and demand he leave.
As far as all the other things, I will manage to get my place cleaned up and in order. I'll have to be very disciplined but everything he used to do, I am doing now. I will be changing oil and filters in the three operational cars the coming two weeks. As I've often observed, best to be wanted and not needed because I really don't need him. Now that he's pretty much useless and very, very unpleasant to deal with, he is not wanted, either.
I thank all of you for your ongoing prayers and positive thoughts, vibes, etc. They do help.

Does Anchorage have an adult services program, i.e. some sort of agency that can intervene and the state intervenes and handles the needs of those who are incapable of handling their own affairs and/or are a danger to themselves? If they do, that might be your out GW. They would place him in a safe facility for him and the state would be responsible for any expenses. He technically is a resident of the city.

Good idea! I hadn't thought of that but I do believe I'll address the issue with his primary care provider. Unless he can afford, or will go to, a professional who can help him, I am becoming increasingly unable and inadequate to deal with his issues. He has no family that he hasn't totally alienated. My family has now passed judgement and found him unworthy of me. I have known so much so long but for all the usual, various reasons, have continued supporting him. He won't ever change. I no longer wish to be a servant to his three-year-old, spoiled rotten child persona. There's so much more, but y'all don't need to read all about it.

I don't think anybody minds if you vent here GW. We're helpless to do any hands on assistance for you, but sometimes it does help to vent to people who understand. And a lot of us, if not all of us, do understand. The agency you would consult would be Adult Protective Services here in Albuquerque--probably something similar in Anchorage. Ours is pretty useless here--staffed by people who frankly don't give a damn--but the program is effective and well managed in other places.

 

[Montrovant]

Well, winter finally arrived. A few inches of snow over a solid quarter inch of ice. It still isn't very cold, hovering around freezing.
The partner is improving, slowly. I finally gave in to his bullying and rants and handed the car keys over with the prayer that he not take anyone else out. IMHO, he is not capable of responding physically to any sudden requirement for fast, positive action while driving a motor vehicle. But, the bullying, rants, and tantrums were terrible. He has still not made good on his threats to return to his house in Anchorage, a constant threat when he's not getting his way. I think that at some level he realizes he can't quite do much on his own. He's been diagnosed with cerebral vasculitis but refuses to do the tests and see the neurosurgeon for a specific diagnosis. An unfortunate side effect seems to be increased irrationality and temper flare-ups. He's becoming quite unreasonable, more than before. My compassion will only stretch so far before I break and demand he leave.
As far as all the other things, I will manage to get my place cleaned up and in order. I'll have to be very disciplined but everything he used to do, I am doing now. I will be changing oil and filters in the three operational cars the coming two weeks. As I've often observed, best to be wanted and not needed because I really don't need him. Now that he's pretty much useless and very, very unpleasant to deal with, he is not wanted, either.
I thank all of you for your ongoing prayers and positive thoughts, vibes, etc. They do help.

Does Anchorage have an adult services program, i.e. some sort of agency that can intervene and the state intervenes and handles the needs of those who are incapable of handling their own affairs and/or are a danger to themselves? If they do, that might be your out GW. They would place him in a safe facility for him and the state would be responsible for any expenses. He technically is a resident of the city.

Good idea! I hadn't thought of that but I do believe I'll address the issue with his primary care provider. Unless he can afford, or will go to, a professional who can help him, I am becoming increasingly unable and inadequate to deal with his issues. He has no family that he hasn't totally alienated. My family has now passed judgement and found him unworthy of me. I have known so much so long but for all the usual, various reasons, have continued supporting him. He won't ever change. I no longer wish to be a servant to his three-year-old, spoiled rotten child persona. There's so much more, but y'all don't need to read all about it.

I don't think anybody minds if you vent here GW. We're helpless to do any hands on assistance for you, but sometimes it does help to vent to people who understand. And a lot of us, if not all of us, do understand. The agency you would consult would be Adult Protective Services here in Albuquerque--probably something similar in Anchorage. Ours is pretty useless here--staffed by people who frankly don't give a damn--but the program is effective and well managed in other places.

I thought venting was one of the primary purposes of the CS!

If you can find a state program that will intervene and help take care of the partner, GW, that sounds like an excellent solution. If he hadn't already been so problematic before, it would be a different situation, but his attitude and actions can't just be blamed on his medical condition. From your descriptions, his issues may have worsened, but in large part they already existed. He's lucky you've done as much as you have.

 

[bigrebnc1775]

Good stuff dark chocolate covered espresso beans

 

[Mindful]

More bittersweetness.

Reading the trials and tribulations of others, my shoulder is improving, despite pain in movement. But at least I will get better.

Deaths all around me, right now, of people I cared about. Not all of them old. A recent shock, (yesterday) of one with nothing wrong with him. I was going to visit him before Christmas. Will I never learn, to seize the moment?

 

[Ringel05]

Foxfyre, thanks for the mention, here is a game of mahjong to pass the time.

Mahjong Titans

That's interesting because that's the name of Microsoft's old Windows Mahjong game which they dropped after Windows 8. That and the rest of those old Microsoft games can still be downloaded and installed via Winaero.

 

[Mindful]

Foxfyre, thanks for the mention, here is a game of mahjong to pass the time.

Mahjong Titans

That's interesting because that's the name of Microsoft's old Windows Mahjong game which they dropped after Windows 8. That and the rest of those old Microsoft games can still be downloaded and installed via Winaero.

Can you play Mahjong? I was roped in as a substitute once, when someone dropped out. I didn't know the first thing about the game. Yet I won!

I'm still trying to figure that out.

 

[Ringel05]

Foxfyre, thanks for the mention, here is a game of mahjong to pass the time.

Mahjong Titans

That's interesting because that's the name of Microsoft's old Windows Mahjong game which they dropped after Windows 8. That and the rest of those old Microsoft games can still be downloaded and installed via Winaero.

Can you play Mahjong? I was roped in as a substitute once, when someone dropped out. I didn't know the first thing about the game. Yet I won!

I'm still trying to figure that out.

It's quite simple, you remove two similar tiles at a time as long as they're not blocked by other tiles. As for playing mahjong against people I never have and never will. I use it as a mindless distraction played against the computer.

 

[Foxfyre]

Well, winter finally arrived. A few inches of snow over a solid quarter inch of ice. It still isn't very cold, hovering around freezing.
The partner is improving, slowly. I finally gave in to his bullying and rants and handed the car keys over with the prayer that he not take anyone else out. IMHO, he is not capable of responding physically to any sudden requirement for fast, positive action while driving a motor vehicle. But, the bullying, rants, and tantrums were terrible. He has still not made good on his threats to return to his house in Anchorage, a constant threat when he's not getting his way. I think that at some level he realizes he can't quite do much on his own. He's been diagnosed with cerebral vasculitis but refuses to do the tests and see the neurosurgeon for a specific diagnosis. An unfortunate side effect seems to be increased irrationality and temper flare-ups. He's becoming quite unreasonable, more than before. My compassion will only stretch so far before I break and demand he leave.
As far as all the other things, I will manage to get my place cleaned up and in order. I'll have to be very disciplined but everything he used to do, I am doing now. I will be changing oil and filters in the three operational cars the coming two weeks. As I've often observed, best to be wanted and not needed because I really don't need him. Now that he's pretty much useless and very, very unpleasant to deal with, he is not wanted, either.
I thank all of you for your ongoing prayers and positive thoughts, vibes, etc. They do help.

Does Anchorage have an adult services program, i.e. some sort of agency that can intervene and the state intervenes and handles the needs of those who are incapable of handling their own affairs and/or are a danger to themselves? If they do, that might be your out GW. They would place him in a safe facility for him and the state would be responsible for any expenses. He technically is a resident of the city.

Good idea! I hadn't thought of that but I do believe I'll address the issue with his primary care provider. Unless he can afford, or will go to, a professional who can help him, I am becoming increasingly unable and inadequate to deal with his issues. He has no family that he hasn't totally alienated. My family has now passed judgement and found him unworthy of me. I have known so much so long but for all the usual, various reasons, have continued supporting him. He won't ever change. I no longer wish to be a servant to his three-year-old, spoiled rotten child persona. There's so much more, but y'all don't need to read all about it.

I don't think anybody minds if you vent here GW. We're helpless to do any hands on assistance for you, but sometimes it does help to vent to people who understand. And a lot of us, if not all of us, do understand. The agency you would consult would be Adult Protective Services here in Albuquerque--probably something similar in Anchorage. Ours is pretty useless here--staffed by people who frankly don't give a damn--but the program is effective and well managed in other places.

I thought venting was one of the primary purposes of the CS!

If you can find a state program that will intervene and help take care of the partner, GW, that sounds like an excellent solution. If he hadn't already been so problematic before, it would be a different situation, but his attitude and actions can't just be blamed on his medical condition. From your descriptions, his issues may have worsened, but in large part they already existed. He's lucky you've done as much as you have.

The Coffee Shop indeed has become a place where people can vent their anger or frustrations so long as politics/theology/ideology and other controversial opinions are left out of the mix. It has also been a place to express joy, concerns, grief, hope, anticipation, accomplishments, triumphs, fears, frustrations, etc. And at different times we laugh with, support, provide information, and all other aspects of the human existence.

It is an amazing thing.

 

[Ridgerunner]

The Coffee Shop indeed has become a place where people can vent their anger or frustrations so long as politics/theology/ideology and other controversial opinions are left out of the mix. It has also been a place to express joy, concerns, grief, hope, anticipation, accomplishments, triumphs, fears, frustrations, etc. And at different times we laugh with, support, provide information, and all other aspects of the human existence.

It is an amazing thing

I'm just here for naked Tuesdays...

 

[Foxfyre]

More bittersweetness.

Reading the trials and tribulations of others, my shoulder is improving, despite pain in movement. But at least I will get better.

Deaths all around me, right now, of people I cared about. Not all of them old. A recent shock, (yesterday) of one with nothing wrong with him. I was going to visit him before Christmas. Will I never learn, to seize the moment?

Can empathize with the shoulder Mindful. I have adhesive capsulitis (i.e. frozen shoulder syndrome) in my left shoulder which is rarely ever pain free when I use my left arm--the pain is mostly in the upper arm but the problem is in the shoulder. It is vastly improved compared to how it once was, but after several years, I am resigned to be probably being a chronic condition. It is not seriously handicapping though so I can live with it.

And especially those of us who are older are seeing our family members, friends, classmates, etc. die in increasing numbers. And it is always so hard, but that too is part of the human experience.

 

[Foxfyre]

Good stuff dark chocolate covered espresso beans

Those look really good bigrebnc1775 . And welcome to the Coffee Shop. I believe this is your first visit here, so happy you're joining right in. First timers here receive a complimentary beverage so here is yours to enjoy with those wonderful looking espresso beans:

 

[Foxfyre]

Foxfyre, thanks for the mention, here is a game of mahjong to pass the time.

Mahjong Titans

Thanks Dajjal. I can pull it up on Windows 10--I can use a lot of my old software that I couldn't use with Win 7 or 8--but I prefer mahjong games on Pogogames.com. It has several different formats to choose from. For those who like a variety of games that is a good site that has a lot of them. It offers a free version in which you have to put up with a brief advertisement now and then to play the games. Or if you want the full experience I think the annual fee for unlimited use and no ads is like $40/year or something like that. Hombre and I both have accounts.

Hombre and I used to play mahjong all the time in Kansas--the real table game using tiles and bamboo money--and brought it to New Mexico but as folks moved on and died off or got busy with other things, nobody plays any more.

 

[Mindful]

Foxfyre, thanks for the mention, here is a game of mahjong to pass the time.

Mahjong Titans

That's interesting because that's the name of Microsoft's old Windows Mahjong game which they dropped after Windows 8. That and the rest of those old Microsoft games can still be downloaded and installed via Winaero.

Can you play Mahjong? I was roped in as a substitute once, when someone dropped out. I didn't know the first thing about the game. Yet I won!

I'm still trying to figure that out.

It's quite simple, you remove two similar tiles at a time as long as they're not blocked by other tiles. As for playing mahjong against people I never have and never will. I use it as a mindless distraction played against the computer.

There's a group of expat British women here where I live, that get together once a week to play mahjong.

 

[bigrebnc1775]

Good stuff dark chocolate covered espresso beans

Those look really good bigrebnc1775 . And welcome to the Coffee Shop. I believe this is your first visit here, so happy you're joining right in. First timers here receive a complimentary beverage so here is yours to enjoy with those wonderful looking espresso beans:

That looks fattening thanks I'll enjoy it.

 

[Foxfyre]

Speaking of Windows 10, I just read on FB that support for Windows 7 ends in January 2020. If so, it's times to upgrade to Win 10 folks. Hombre and I have not regretted doing so long ago.

 

[Ringel05]

Speaking of Windows 10, I just read on FB that support for Windows 7 ends in January 2020. If so, it's times to upgrade to Win 10 folks. Hombre and I have not regretted doing so long ago.

Support ends but some people will continue to use it until they can't, just like some still do with Windows XP. The real problem 7 users will run into down the road is newer systems that they might want to put 7 on will no longer work properly for 7 not to mention the security risks.
What's really surprising is as of 2018 most ATMs were still using XP.......... That's not a good thing.

 

[gallantwarrior]

Well, winter finally arrived. A few inches of snow over a solid quarter inch of ice. It still isn't very cold, hovering around freezing.
The partner is improving, slowly. I finally gave in to his bullying and rants and handed the car keys over with the prayer that he not take anyone else out. IMHO, he is not capable of responding physically to any sudden requirement for fast, positive action while driving a motor vehicle. But, the bullying, rants, and tantrums were terrible. He has still not made good on his threats to return to his house in Anchorage, a constant threat when he's not getting his way. I think that at some level he realizes he can't quite do much on his own. He's been diagnosed with cerebral vasculitis but refuses to do the tests and see the neurosurgeon for a specific diagnosis. An unfortunate side effect seems to be increased irrationality and temper flare-ups. He's becoming quite unreasonable, more than before. My compassion will only stretch so far before I break and demand he leave.
As far as all the other things, I will manage to get my place cleaned up and in order. I'll have to be very disciplined but everything he used to do, I am doing now. I will be changing oil and filters in the three operational cars the coming two weeks. As I've often observed, best to be wanted and not needed because I really don't need him. Now that he's pretty much useless and very, very unpleasant to deal with, he is not wanted, either.
I thank all of you for your ongoing prayers and positive thoughts, vibes, etc. They do help.

Does Anchorage have an adult services program, i.e. some sort of agency that can intervene and the state intervenes and handles the needs of those who are incapable of handling their own affairs and/or are a danger to themselves? If they do, that might be your out GW. They would place him in a safe facility for him and the state would be responsible for any expenses. He technically is a resident of the city.

Good idea! I hadn't thought of that but I do believe I'll address the issue with his primary care provider. Unless he can afford, or will go to, a professional who can help him, I am becoming increasingly unable and inadequate to deal with his issues. He has no family that he hasn't totally alienated. My family has now passed judgement and found him unworthy of me. I have known so much so long but for all the usual, various reasons, have continued supporting him. He won't ever change. I no longer wish to be a servant to his three-year-old, spoiled rotten child persona. There's so much more, but y'all don't need to read all about it.

I don't think anybody minds if you vent here GW. We're helpless to do any hands on assistance for you, but sometimes it does help to vent to people who understand. And a lot of us, if not all of us, do understand. The agency you would consult would be Adult Protective Services here in Albuquerque--probably something similar in Anchorage. Ours is pretty useless here--staffed by people who frankly don't give a damn--but the program is effective and well managed in other places.

I thought venting was one of the primary purposes of the CS!

If you can find a state program that will intervene and help take care of the partner, GW, that sounds like an excellent solution. If he hadn't already been so problematic before, it would be a different situation, but his attitude and actions can't just be blamed on his medical condition. From your descriptions, his issues may have worsened, but in large part they already existed. He's lucky you've done as much as you have.

If only he would take seriously all the people who have told him how fortunate he is that I'm helping. Many medical professionals have observed that if I hadn't been alert, he would most likely be dead. I caught the stroke pretty much as it started and got him to the hospital post haste. I've been his "caretaker" since and he's still pretty unappreciative because I missed a few bills. Now, I have apparently ruined his credit. I asked him if he was happy and he affirmed that he was. When asked what made him happy he answered: he's happy about the animals, that we haven't lost any property, and the cars all run. I, and all my efforts on his behalf didn't even make honorable mention. That's all pretty disappointing, I admit. I've often observed that in a partnership it is better to be wanted than needed. I have never needed the partner but he has had his part to play. Now, he is not pulling his fair share and being a total shit. While his medical issues may have exacerbated his nasty attitude, I am getting pretty tired of being abused and bullied. I do not need him but his helpfulness had made him wanted, to an extent that offset his unpleasant attitude. Now, he is not needed and is no longer wanted, either. I can change the oil and filters in all the working vehicles myself.
Still, I am thankful that I can come some place and tell these things. Thank you all for your patience and understanding.

 

[gallantwarrior]

More bittersweetness.

Reading the trials and tribulations of others, my shoulder is improving, despite pain in movement. But at least I will get better.

Deaths all around me, right now, of people I cared about. Not all of them old. A recent shock, (yesterday) of one with nothing wrong with him. I was going to visit him before Christmas. Will I never learn, to seize the moment?

Good to know the shoulder is improving. Sad to say, we can never know the moment, just have to deal with the shock. Hopefully, you can overcome your recent shock.

 

[Lumpy 1]

Good stuff dark chocolate covered espresso beans

It seem like a long time since I've seen you around old friend..

Welcome to the Coffee Shop... and relax

Gads ... where's my arm!
.

 

[Ringel05]

Been raining all morning, now it's big, wet snowflakes. Was finally able to get more done in the bathroom, hope to have the walls all tiled tomorrow but that will depend on how long it takes at the VA to find out if I'm experiencing sever allergies or something more serious.........