USMB Coffee Shop IV

[Dajjal]

That's what I would say but these things tend to have a tricky twist that I usually miss.

Yes, the tricky twist was the missing banana, only two in the bunch. I think 13 is right.

 

[Foxfyre]

I see the site got a new face lift. I also see they still can't figure out how to give us a dark mode..........
Ya know, I got to thinking about it and it occurred to me I really don't need to disappear. I was on another forum I've been hanging out on, yup a gun forum but they have an off topic section and a couple of us got to talking about our life's journey and I was convicted to share mine since Kat's passing. A few people who said they were going through issues typically not related said it helped them. I was blessed to be able to help even though I'm still going through quite a bit and it has helped even me. Feels like I was meant to share.
Like all of us I have my challenges but am working on overcoming them.

So if you all don't mind:


Again this is not a thread to illicit condolences as appreciated as they are. This is about what I went through following my wife's passing from cancer. I pray it helps someone.

On August 10th, 2020 my wife of 34 years succumbed to cancer, it was here at home and I watched her take her last breath. It was the worst moment of my life, I never thought I could endure so much pain and still live. Then started the regrets, self recriminations emotional and mental self flagellation. Why wasn't I a perfect husband, perfect lover, perfect her everything, why didn't I give her the stars and the moon. Every night I asked God to forgive me and every day it started all over again. Those were the worst two and a half years of my life as I spiraled even further into a sever depression. I basically locked myself in my house and stopped taking care of myself, something I never imagined would happen to me. I finally sought out help with the VA Mental Health Services and they were great. It was peak of the pandemic so everything was done via computer video conferencing. Suddenly one day out of the blue it occurred to me what my problem was. Heck God had forgiven me the first time I asked for forgiveness, the only person who hadn't forgiven me was me........... I finally forgave myself for being human, for being me and though it's cliche a huge weight was lifted off my back, the dark clouds rolled away and the sun shone on a renewed and saved life.
If it hadn't been for my faith through all those years I probably wouldn't be here posting this now.
What I went through is not uncommon for all who have lost those near and dear, matter of fact it's quite common. Thank you for taking the time to read this as hard as it was for me to write. We all eventually lose loved ones or they lose us so if this has helped even one person I have done good. God bless you all.
The Journey is not over and I will continue at a later date.
Over the last few years I started (fitfully at first) to start exercising and changing my diet. No more Party sized bags of potato(e) chips every night watching a movie..........
Cut the fat, salt and sugar, started eating less and making my own home made soups. Also started eating more salads. I still get the occasional pizza and make the occasional cheeseburger, etc. but it still took some time to adjust. Where not long ago I could have eaten half a large meat lovers pizza I can barely get two slices down. When I make my TexMex now I use no salt added and no fat added canned products yet they still taste delicious.
I exercised and in the beginning often over did it and went past my physical limitations. Often I would hurt myself setting me back anywhere from a week to a couple of months but eventually I found where to work within my limitations. Now about a year and a half later I did try to up my rep counts with all my exercise routines and sure enough I'm back in recovery mode but I have managed to loose 45 pounds within the last six months. My goal is to loose another 45 pounds then have both knees replaced.
As you all can see it took a while but despite the setbacks and failures I continued to push on and even now I force myself to get back to it and not let recovery times slow me down too much. Even if I do a quarter of what I have been doing I'm still ahead of the game. All these things have helped me along the way and given me at least some purpose.
Doing this Journey thread is also, it's kind of cathartic even though writing some of the first installment brought a flood of tears.
To continue I'd come out of a severe depression into the light so to speak and for a moment all the world seemed right (as Garth Brooks would say.....). I began to come out of my cave more, actually increased my gun collection even though that little voice in the back of my head was telling me to stop. I ignored my little voice. It was however me giving me something I'd always wanted but put off to use that money elsewhere. I wanted to treat me but I'd gone overboard..........
Things felt good, I was interacting even more at my church but soon I found myself withdrawing again ever so slowly. I couldn't figure out what was happening and over time I became angry, any little thing would set me off. The work and cleaning I was doing around the house began to slack off, things piled up. Why was I sliding into an angry depression?
Purpose of our lives. We all develop our life purposes over time and continue to pursue them throughout out lives, it's like saying we breathe in, we breathe out. My wife and I had no good friends outside of each other, we were each other's best friends and my purpose in life was her.
Fast forward a little. I recently had my bore scope (colonoscopy) and normally the wife would have taken me and brought me home. Suddenly I had to ask someone who was not my wife to perform that function for me. I almost canceled my appointment because of it......... That's when I realized I had lost my purpose in life, my reason for living and now I'm trying to find new purpose.
I'd like to believe doing this, right now, helping others is part of it but also other things. I sang semi-pro in rock bands back in the mid to late 70s and while I wasn't bad my octave range was limited to high baritone, low tenor, anything above low tenor was weak falsetto. Well here I am at 69 years old, practicing my vocals once again and have finally after 40 years figured out where and how to place my voice that I can now easily hit low/mid tenor range with ease and higher tenor with a strong head (falsetto) voice. Basically means I can now hit Steve Perry's mid range but I'm still working on hitting his high range. Yes, I have perfect pitch but also need to work on my breathing.
So things are starting to look up again as I continue to look for my new purpose in life. Back to slowly working on my house, cleaning and disposing of waaaaay too many things we had stored that we never needed. My wife trusted things more than she trusted people........... At this stage I myself have no real interest in finding another woman to share my life with, maybe this will change in time. I still love my wife dearly and probably always will. I was older than her by 9 years, we figured I would be the one to go first especially since my early lifestyle was less than healthy shall we say....... I quit drinking decades ago and quit smoking a few months ago. I have to say though that I'm glad she went first so she didn't have to go through what I went and to some degree am still going through.
Now it's time to see what comes next and this time be prepared for it (I hope). Hopefully I will continue at a much later date. Again I pray this helps someone through their broken journey.
God bless you all.
I pray this may help someone through their hard times.

Oh my Ringel, what an amazing story of the depths of depression and self-realization. I am touched that you trusted us in the Coffee Shop with something so personal and poignant. So many of us have lost loved ones but loss of a life partner is the hardest of all, not only because we loved them and they completed us, but living again as a single in such circumstances, so I am told, is almost like having to learn to walk and talk again. I find myself hoping to go before Hombre does but we don't get to decide that.

These past years we've lost my sister's oldest son, my cousin Sandy--my Aunt Betty's only child, her husband Uncle Ed, lost three family members, including my sister and only sibling, to COVID and almost lost my son to a heart attack which fortunately he got through without a great deal of heart damage but will need monitoring and treatment the rest of his life. We've gone through the trauma of SFC Ollie and peach174 losing their lifelong mates and also Beautress though she was off line for a very long time as her husband was dying.

But I think you might have had it the hardest given so much trauma we know of since you've been in the Coffee Shop: leaving DC, losing your parents, difficulty with family, fighting through government red tape. Nobody can say it was your fault that losing Kat spun you into deep depression. I'm glad you aren't in denial though and are doing what you must. And getting physically fit will help too--has made a huge different in my son who has lost some 50 pounds after his illness and should lose another 40 at least. Hombre also has lost some 30 pounds and looks and feels much better - should lose another 30. He very much needed to lose that weight for his health.

(I sometimes resent you guys who seem to be able to take it off so easily when motivated. I struggle for every pound lost and can gain weight breathing air.

Are you singing in the church choir? You should be.

 

[Ringel05]

Oh my Ringel, what an amazing story of the depths of depression and self-realization. I am touched that you trusted us in the Coffee Shop with something so personal and poignant. So many of us have lost loved ones but loss of a life partner is the hardest of all, not only because we loved them and they completed us, but living again as a single in such circumstances, so I am told, is almost like having to learn to walk and talk again. I find myself hoping to go before Hombre does but we don't get to decide that.

These past years we've lost three family members, including my sister and only sibling, to COVID and almost lost my son to a heart attack which fortunately he got through without a great deal of heart damage but will need monitoring and treatment the rest of his life. We've gone through the trauma of SFC Ollie and peach174 losing their lifelong mates and also Beautress though she was off line for a very long time as her husband was dying.

But I think you might have had it the hardest given so much trauma we know of since you've been in the Coffee Shop: leaving DC, losing your parents, difficulty with family, fighting through government red tape. Nobody can say it was your fault that losing Kat spun you into deep depression. I'm glad you aren't in denial though and are doing what you must. And getting physically fit will help too--has made a huge different in my son who has lost some 50 pounds after his illness and should lose another 40 at least. Hombre also has lost some 30 pounds and looks and feels much better - should lose another 30. He very much needed to lose that weight for his health.

(I sometimes resent you guys who seem to be able to take it off so easily when motivated. I struggle for every pound lost and can gain weight breathing air.

Are you singing in the church choir? You should be.

I'm still dealing with some insomnia issues which have kept me from going to church for quite a while now (months). I catch it on the church website, hopefully I'll start attending again soon. About 5 days ago I started taking 5mg melatonin which has helped somewhat but leaves me groggy in the morning. That is getting better though I still wake up 3 times to pee.
My vocal range is getting much better than when I first started back at it, heck I can even do Getty Lee (Rush), I can sing songs from the 70s that back then I never would have attempted.

 

[Foxfyre]

I'm still dealing with some insomnia issues which have kept me from going to church for quite a while now (months). I catch it on the church website, hopefully I'll start attending again soon. About 5 days ago I started taking 5mg melatonin which has helped somewhat but leaves me groggy in the morning. That is getting better though I still wake up 3 times to pee.
My vocal range is getting much better than when I first started back at it, heck I can even do Getty Lee (Rush), I can sing songs from the 70s that back then I never would have attempted.

Hombre and I take 2 extra strength acetaminophen (Tylenol) PM plus a 5 mg melatonin every night--we also have to get up during the night to pee --and we don't have any hangover so hopefully you'll adjust. I find it works best if you take it 45 minutes to an hour before I go to bed. I know it's bad but we also have to have some white noise in the room--radio or TV. I sure prefer to deal with it with the non habit forming drugs. Or so they are supposed to be. We sure don't sleep as well if we don't take them. My doctor was concerned that those meds would make me dizzy and more prone to falls but they do not. She also said 1mg Melatonin might work as well depending on how much our brain makes naturally.

 

[Ringel05]

Hombre and I take 2 extra strength acetaminophen (Tylenol) PM plus a 5 mg melatonin every night--we also have to get up during the night to pee --and we don't have any hangover so hopefully you'll adjust. I find it works best if you take it 45 minutes to an hour before I go to bed. I know it's bad but we also have to have some white noise in the room--radio or TV. I sure prefer to deal with it with the non habit forming drugs. Or so they are supposed to be. We sure don't sleep as well if we don't take them. My doctor was concerned that those meds would make me dizzy and more prone to falls but they do not. She also said 1mg Melatonin might work as well depending on how much our brain makes naturally.

The cooling being a swamp cooler I have a box fan in the bedroom window. I am slowly getting thinks cleaned up and tossing Items I no longer need and no one would want but I have a looooooooong way to go. How do ya eat an elephant? One bite at a time.

 

[Foxfyre]

The cooling being a swamp cooler I have a box fan in the bedroom window. I am slowly getting thinks cleaned up and tossing Items I no longer need and no one would want but I have a looooooooong way to go. How do ya eat an elephant? One bite at a time.

You're talking to the world's worst pack rats. Not hoarders (yet) but definitely have a hard time throwing things away as there is always that nagging little voice that I might need that. But you're right. One thing at a time. Animal Humane here in Albuquerque picks up most reusable things and we've had them truck a ton of stuff out of here just recently. But after they were gone there was still soooo much left. Doesn't look all that much better. But soon I hope.

And yes one bite at a time.

Who services your swamp cooler? We need a new service company for the changeovers.

 

[Ringel05]

You're talking to the world's worst pack rats. Not hoarders (yet) but definitely have a hard time throwing things away as there is always that nagging little voice that I might need that. But you're right. One thing at a time. Animal Humane here in Albuquerque picks up most reusable things and we've had them truck a ton of stuff out of here just recently. But after they were gone there was still soooo much left. Doesn't look all that much better. But soon I hope.

And yes one bite at a time.

Who services your swamp cooler? We need a new service company for the changeovers.

A couple of too expensive companies but I'd have to look at my online receipts to tell you who they are.

 

[Foxfyre]

A couple of too expensive companies but I'd have to look at my online receipts to tell you who they are.

Yeah they're all too expensive. I think I've picked one though.

 

[Foxfyre]

I'm still dealing with some insomnia issues which have kept me from going to church for quite a while now (months). I catch it on the church website, hopefully I'll start attending again soon. About 5 days ago I started taking 5mg melatonin which has helped somewhat but leaves me groggy in the morning. That is getting better though I still wake up 3 times to pee.
My vocal range is getting much better than when I first started back at it, heck I can even do Getty Lee (Rush), I can sing songs from the 70s that back then I never would have attempted.

I hope you can get to church. You would find choir practice and then singing on Sundays to be cathartic. It always was for Hombre and me. Also if you get into a Sunday School or Bible study it is a way to broaden your social circle in a positive way. Much much safer and more beneficial than doing the bar scene and such.

 

[Ringel05]

I hope you can get to church. You would find choir practice and then singing on Sundays to be cathartic. It always was for Hombre and me. Also if you get into a Sunday School or Bible study it is a way to broaden your social circle in a positive way. Much much safer and more beneficial than doing the bar scene and such.

Actually I don't believe we have choir, we have bands and at least one of them write their own music. That's the more established, better of the two. The other's not bad but need some work. Of course I was and always will be a front man, the showman, the one that not only sings but gets them up in the chairs dancing, That's what I know. Yes I can do the sit in my seat and serenade but I prefer the energy, not that I can physically do the bouncing all over the stage like I used to. We'll see where He wants me with this. .

 

[Foxfyre]

Actually I don't believe we have choir, we have bands and at least one of them write their own music. That's the more established, better of the two. The other's not bad but need some work. Of course I was and always will be a front man, the showman, the one that not only sings but gets them up in the chairs dancing, That's what I know. Yes I can do the sit in my seat and serenade but I prefer the energy, not that I can physically do the bouncing all over the stage like I used to. We'll see where He wants me with this. .

Ah contemporary worship. Very popular these days. But hope it all works out for you.

 

[Lumpy 1]

I see the site got a new face lift. I also see they still can't figure out how to give us a dark mode..........
Ya know, I got to thinking about it and it occurred to me I really don't need to disappear. I was on another forum I've been hanging out on, yup a gun forum but they have an off topic section and a couple of us got to talking about our life's journey and I was convicted to share mine since Kat's passing. A few people who said they were going through issues typically not related said it helped them. I was blessed to be able to help even though I'm still going through quite a bit and it has helped even me. Feels like I was meant to share.
Like all of us I have my challenges but am working on overcoming them.

So if you all don't mind:


Again this is not a thread to illicit condolences as appreciated as they are. This is about what I went through following my wife's passing from cancer. I pray it helps someone.

On August 10th, 2020 my wife of 34 years succumbed to cancer, it was here at home and I watched her take her last breath. It was the worst moment of my life, I never thought I could endure so much pain and still live. Then started the regrets, self recriminations emotional and mental self flagellation. Why wasn't I a perfect husband, perfect lover, perfect her everything, why didn't I give her the stars and the moon. Every night I asked God to forgive me and every day it started all over again. Those were the worst two and a half years of my life as I spiraled even further into a sever depression. I basically locked myself in my house and stopped taking care of myself, something I never imagined would happen to me. I finally sought out help with the VA Mental Health Services and they were great. It was peak of the pandemic so everything was done via computer video conferencing. Suddenly one day out of the blue it occurred to me what my problem was. Heck God had forgiven me the first time I asked for forgiveness, the only person who hadn't forgiven me was me........... I finally forgave myself for being human, for being me and though it's cliche a huge weight was lifted off my back, the dark clouds rolled away and the sun shone on a renewed and saved life.
If it hadn't been for my faith through all those years I probably wouldn't be here posting this now.
What I went through is not uncommon for all who have lost those near and dear, matter of fact it's quite common. Thank you for taking the time to read this as hard as it was for me to write. We all eventually lose loved ones or they lose us so if this has helped even one person I have done good. God bless you all.
The Journey is not over and I will continue at a later date.
Over the last few years I started (fitfully at first) to start exercising and changing my diet. No more Party sized bags of potato(e) chips every night watching a movie..........
Cut the fat, salt and sugar, started eating less and making my own home made soups. Also started eating more salads. I still get the occasional pizza and make the occasional cheeseburger, etc. but it still took some time to adjust. Where not long ago I could have eaten half a large meat lovers pizza I can barely get two slices down. When I make my TexMex now I use no salt added and no fat added canned products yet they still taste delicious.
I exercised and in the beginning often over did it and went past my physical limitations. Often I would hurt myself setting me back anywhere from a week to a couple of months but eventually I found where to work within my limitations. Now about a year and a half later I did try to up my rep counts with all my exercise routines and sure enough I'm back in recovery mode but I have managed to loose 45 pounds within the last six months. My goal is to loose another 45 pounds then have both knees replaced.
As you all can see it took a while but despite the setbacks and failures I continued to push on and even now I force myself to get back to it and not let recovery times slow me down too much. Even if I do a quarter of what I have been doing I'm still ahead of the game. All these things have helped me along the way and given me at least some purpose.
Doing this Journey thread is also, it's kind of cathartic even though writing some of the first installment brought a flood of tears.
To continue I'd come out of a severe depression into the light so to speak and for a moment all the world seemed right (as Garth Brooks would say.....). I began to come out of my cave more, actually increased my gun collection even though that little voice in the back of my head was telling me to stop. I ignored my little voice. It was however me giving me something I'd always wanted but put off to use that money elsewhere. I wanted to treat me but I'd gone overboard..........
Things felt good, I was interacting even more at my church but soon I found myself withdrawing again ever so slowly. I couldn't figure out what was happening and over time I became angry, any little thing would set me off. The work and cleaning I was doing around the house began to slack off, things piled up. Why was I sliding into an angry depression?
Purpose of our lives. We all develop our life purposes over time and continue to pursue them throughout out lives, it's like saying we breathe in, we breathe out. My wife and I had no good friends outside of each other, we were each other's best friends and my purpose in life was her.
Fast forward a little. I recently had my bore scope (colonoscopy) and normally the wife would have taken me and brought me home. Suddenly I had to ask someone who was not my wife to perform that function for me. I almost canceled my appointment because of it......... That's when I realized I had lost my purpose in life, my reason for living and now I'm trying to find new purpose.
I'd like to believe doing this, right now, helping others is part of it but also other things. I sang semi-pro in rock bands back in the mid to late 70s and while I wasn't bad my octave range was limited to high baritone, low tenor, anything above low tenor was weak falsetto. Well here I am at 69 years old, practicing my vocals once again and have finally after 40 years figured out where and how to place my voice that I can now easily hit low/mid tenor range with ease and higher tenor with a strong head (falsetto) voice. Basically means I can now hit Steve Perry's mid range but I'm still working on hitting his high range. Yes, I have perfect pitch but also need to work on my breathing.
So things are starting to look up again as I continue to look for my new purpose in life. Back to slowly working on my house, cleaning and disposing of waaaaay too many things we had stored that we never needed. My wife trusted things more than she trusted people........... At this stage I myself have no real interest in finding another woman to share my life with, maybe this will change in time. I still love my wife dearly and probably always will. I was older than her by 9 years, we figured I would be the one to go first especially since my early lifestyle was less than healthy shall we say....... I quit drinking decades ago and quit smoking a few months ago. I have to say though that I'm glad she went first so she didn't have to go through what I went and to some degree am still going through.
Now it's time to see what comes next and this time be prepared for it (I hope). Hopefully I will continue at a much later date. Again I pray this helps someone through their broken journey.
God bless you all.
I pray this may help someone through their hard times.

It’s interesting with you and has always been so, I understand. Hang in there old friend there’s great happiness in your future, it’s inevitable if you’re open to it.

 

[beautress]

BTW, I am quite satiated right now. Been having a craving for something I haven't had in roughly 3.5 years. I picked up a Five Guys bacon cheeseburger and fries, that was delicious but expensive........ As wonderful as it was it may be another 3.5 years until my next Five Guys order.

Oh, comeon, Mr. Ringel. Keto 6 days a week entitles you to one day of a Five Guys baconcheeseburger and fries, and you're worth it. I read your post above about recriminations, and was there something more I coulda done--my husband passed 7 years ago, and I went through everything you described, and we all do coulda, woulda, shouldas that really most likely WAS NOT THE CASE. We have to accept the death of a loved one was likely never in our hands, especially when the love was truly for that person, and that we go through that questioning of ourselves, try remembering the times you set aside time to please your loved ones, and how good they felt to know you cared for them. Cancer is not caused by thinking, it is caused by microbes we can't even see deciding to set up household in a human person, just like in war where a man wearing a green shirt shoots at a man wearing a red one. Microbes do not care for who they eat, they multiply to get more for their tribe of one-celled wonders. Blame the true varmint, and not a teeney tiny hole in your total devotion to the deceased.

 

[beautress]

My next quilt will bee (ta-ta!):

Mine may not be this cute, but I found a sack of a slew of four patches that needed ironing when I abandoned the project long enough ago to justify having forgotten all about it. It's a slam dunk I can finish it in a week if all goes well. See ya, because I'm gonna be busy trying to make a bunch of ugly four patches be pretty. and it keeps the coulda-woulda-shoulda stuff out of my frequently empty little head.
​

Y'all have a good day. A good day for me is not thinking about poli-ticks.

 

[Ringel05]

Oh, comeon, Mr. Ringel. Keto 6 days a week entitles you to one day of a Five Guys baconcheeseburger and fries, and you're worth it. I read your post above about recriminations, and was there something more I coulda done--my husband passed 7 years ago, and I went through everything you described, and we all do coulda, woulda, shouldas that really most likely WAS NOT THE CASE. We have to accept the death of a loved one was likely never in our hands, especially when the love was truly for that person, and that we go through that questioning of ourselves, try remembering the times you set aside time to please your loved ones, and how good they felt to know you cared for them. Cancer is not caused by thinking, it is caused by microbes we can't even see deciding to set up household in a human person, just like in war where a man wearing a green shirt shoots at a man wearing a red one. Microbes do not care for who they eat, they multiply to get more for their tribe of one-celled wonders. Blame the true varmint, and not a teeney tiny hole in your total devotion to the deceased.

View attachment 825739​

Believe me I have other weaknesses, Dion's Pizza and my lunch today which was grits with bacon bits, butter, salt and cheddar cheese.......... Though I was good with breakfast, oatmeal with stewed apples and pecan pieces. Tonight probably a salad.

 

[Oddball]

Saturday morning.

I'll just leave this here

Let the cartoon begin!

 

[Foxfyre]

Believe me I have other weaknesses, Dion's Pizza and my lunch today which was grits with bacon bits, butter, salt and cheddar cheese.......... Though I was good with breakfast, oatmeal with stewed apples and pecan pieces. Tonight probably a salad.

Most of my life I have weighed more than I wanted to. And if I do not intentionally eat what I should and avoid most of the should nots I will weigh a lot more than I want to. You met me in person. I am not at all skinny, svelte, etc. And will power, especially in that regard, is not one of my strong suits either.

But one thing I've learned in my now ever longer life is that enjoying life when it does no measurable harm to us or anyone else is as conducive to good health as is a healthy weight. While we should also aspire for the latter, we should not neglect the former.

And a guilty pleasure once in awhile--not every day maybe--can be conducive to enjoying life.

So yeah, when my neighbor brought us over generous servings of a great peach cobbler she made from scratch with fresh peaches, I enjoyed some immensely. And once in awhile we order a pizza too. Just not every day.

 

[Foxfyre]

Kicking back today.

My Aunt Betty will be 97 at the end of this month and she outlived the useful life of her pacemaker battery. So she was scheduled for out patient surgery this past Thursday morning and even though the procedure to replace the battery is simple and quick, the prep for it, the anxiety factor, the process, the recovery took a lot of time and energy for us both. But we got it done, she sailed right through it and has been energetic and has had remarkably little discomfort. As of last night she hasn't needed even Tylenol for pain. We stayed at her place overnight Thursday night just to be sure she was okay. I didn't get much sleep either Wednesday or Thursday nights.

But I slept like a log last night and today I think I won't do much of anything productive. A little laundry maybe.

It feels good having a day of doing pretty much nothing.

 

[Ringel05]

Oh my Ringel, what an amazing story of the depths of depression and self-realization. I am touched that you trusted us in the Coffee Shop with something so personal and poignant. So many of us have lost loved ones but loss of a life partner is the hardest of all, not only because we loved them and they completed us, but living again as a single in such circumstances, so I am told, is almost like having to learn to walk and talk again. I find myself hoping to go before Hombre does but we don't get to decide that.

These past years we've lost my sister's oldest son, my cousin Sandy--my Aunt Betty's only child, her husband Uncle Ed, lost three family members, including my sister and only sibling, to COVID and almost lost my son to a heart attack which fortunately he got through without a great deal of heart damage but will need monitoring and treatment the rest of his life. We've gone through the trauma of SFC Ollie and peach174 losing their lifelong mates and also Beautress though she was off line for a very long time as her husband was dying.

But I think you might have had it the hardest given so much trauma we know of since you've been in the Coffee Shop: leaving DC, losing your parents, difficulty with family, fighting through government red tape. Nobody can say it was your fault that losing Kat spun you into deep depression. I'm glad you aren't in denial though and are doing what you must. And getting physically fit will help too--has made a huge different in my son who has lost some 50 pounds after his illness and should lose another 40 at least. Hombre also has lost some 30 pounds and looks and feels much better - should lose another 30. He very much needed to lose that weight for his health.

(I sometimes resent you guys who seem to be able to take it off so easily when motivated. I struggle for every pound lost and can gain weight breathing air.

Are you singing in the church choir? You should be.

Oh, one of the things I didn't mention, it took about four months to loose ten pounds Then I just sat there for another ten months for it to start falling off so it wasn't overnight.

 

[Foxfyre]

Oh, one of the things I didn't mention, it took about four months to loose ten pounds Then I just sat there for another ten months for it to start falling off so it wasn't overnight.

Well bless you. Hombre seems to be able to drop 10 pounds just by thinking thin. He was string bean thin when I married him but his preferred diet is pretty awful and he did put on the pounds after he was 40. He will order chicken fried steak with sides of french fries and buttered corn when we go out while I have grilled salmon, broccoli, and a salad w/low calories dressing. I gain 2 pounds and he doesn't gain or loses 4.

So yeah it takes me awhile to lose 10 pounds but I have settled on what I hope is a permanent lifestyle that is pretty healthy except for those very occasional guilty pleasures. Without them though I would be deprived and not enjoy the good food as much.