What do you fear the most?

[Gracie]

For clarification, I love being alone. This is how I spend my time. Alone. Been that way since I was a kid. But I can also choose to NOT be alone if I want.
Losing function of my hands, and feet slowly following suit....having no close family I would even trust to do for me what I SHOULD be able to do for myself but eventually won't be able to do....THAT is what scares me. Alone. No self power. Being dependent on strangers because I CAN'T take care of myself. (When the time comes).

Old people. Forgotten. Stuck in a state run old folks home facility, people hired to take care of those people and not exactly the best of the crop hired to do so, etc. THAT is what I don't want.

 

[Gracie]

Retirement home abuse. I see it all the time in the news. I am not one to take being bullied but if I can't stand up or use my hands...how do I protect myself from some loon on minimum wage having to change the old ladies diapers?
*shuddering at the thought*

 

[Bonzi]

For clarification, I love being alone. This is how I spend my time. Alone. Been that way since I was a kid. But I can also choose to NOT be alone if I want.
Losing function of my hands, and feet slowly following suit....having no close family I would even trust to do for me what I SHOULD be able to do for myself but eventually won't be able to do....THAT is what scares me. Alone. No self power. Being dependent on strangers because I CAN'T take care of myself. (When the time comes).

Old people. Forgotten. Stuck in a state run old folks home facility, people hired to take care of those people and not exactly the best of the crop hired to do so, etc. THAT is what I don't want.

Sounds like my fear. Torture.

 

[Gracie]

Those poor old people. Dumped at a home while the family carries on, forgetting them or doing the standard "well, I don't wanna, but I gotta go see ma" sorta thing. You know they don't want to be there but are doing their "duty". Meanwhile...the nurse that takes care of you knows it is visiting day and is on her or his best behavior. But as soon as the family or visitor leaves...pinching you, letting you lay in a soiled bed, forgetting to bring you food deliberately, etc.

I went thru that when I had my hysterectomy. Had a nurse that was awful. And mean. And I was helpless. Back then, you were in the hospital a couple of days. This bitch would wake me up wanting to take my temperature, gag me on purpose with the thermometer, never cleaned the bathroom and I had to share it with another gal with both of us dripping blood everywhere, insults that we were now spaded ARF ARF she would say to us. UP. GET UP. CLEAN YOUR NASTY SELVES ARF ARF! The other lady and I took turns cleaning the toilet. One night, she came in and woke me up to take my pain pills. I was asleep..not in pain. I refused. She tried to shove them in my mouth but I smacked her and she went to the window and started hitting the blind and throwing our water all over the floor. Then she stomped out. The lady next to me got dressed the next day along with me, with us helping each other put our clothes on....and we waited for morning staff and the doc. When they arrived, we told them what we were being subjected to and at first they didn't believe us until we said "look at the blinds" which were all bent and crooked....then "look where our water pitchers are. Did WE do that?" and water on the floor under the bed, pitchers in the corner. Morning staff was horrified but said nothing more. The lady and I called our husbands who came to get us.
She left before I did, and when Mr Gracie arrived along with the wheelchair that is SOP, the bitch was coming on duty.
I told Mr G to wait, and I got out of the chair, approached bitchface and said "I will not be helpless for long. Soon as I get my strength back...I will be here to kick your fucking ass". She scrambled behind the counter and said she was going to call the cops and I said good cuz I had some reporting to do. Then I got back in my chair and Mr G wheeled me out of the hospital. I did go back...2 weeks later. She had been fired.

Anyway..point is...some people take advantage of other helpless people. Some day..I will be one of those helpless people. And there are a lot of really bad people out there.

Oh. Wait. I won't let it get that far. I'll eat a bullet first.

 

[strollingbones]

it is hard to understand that when someone has dementia....it doesnt matter if they see you or not.....my mother is in a high toned ware house...and yes i realize it is still a ware house....but in order for my family to carry on it was the only option....i am sorry i am unwilling to give up my life to care for someone who is no longer interesting in anything but her comfort. her estate provides me the ability to hire private aids for her....a damnation in itself....i feel guilty enough daily without judgemental fucks

 

[Bonzi]

I've not ever had to deal with anything like this - not yet anyway....
I don't stand in judgment, I think everyone knows what is best in their personal situation.

I would never want to be a burden on my kids or grandkids. I would hope they would not ruin their lives to take care of me.

 

[Gracie]

it is hard to understand that when someone has dementia....it doesnt matter if they see you or not.....my mother is in a high toned ware house...and yes i realize it is still a ware house....but in order for my family to carry on it was the only option....i am sorry i am unwilling to give up my life to care for someone who is no longer interesting in anything but her comfort. her estate provides me the ability to hire private aids for her....a damnation in itself....i feel guilty enough daily without judgemental fucks

I was not judging you or anyone suffering this horror of a disease, Bones. Yes, my words were just willy nilly talking about retirement homes, but I was going on my own fears...not judging those who know of it first hand so I'm sorry I wasn't more careful on how I expressed it.
My uncle and aunt had alzheimers. It was not pleasant to see when I visited them. My uncle was strapped to his bed because he was very violent. My aunt just laid there although she did have good care and was visited many times by family but they couldn't take care of her just like you can't with your family. My mother had dementia too but I did not experience what she dealt with because my sister took care of her until she died. I did not speak to my mother. I hated her. She hated me.

There has to be some kind of middle, but I have no idea what it is. Maybe more compassionate people who care for such individuals and nicer stories on the news.
Anyway...I'm sorry I made you feel bad. It was not my intent. I was talking about my own fear.

 

[Gracie]

I've not ever had to deal with anything like this - not yet anyway....
I don't stand in judgment, I think everyone knows what is best in their personal situation.

I would never want to be a burden on my kids or grandkids. I would hope they would not ruin their lives to take care of me.

Which is another fear. Mr G having to take care of me and it being too difficult on him. Hence...eating the bullet before it gets too bad. IF it came to that. Hopefully I will go like my dad did....hard pain that lasts a second or two, drop to the floor, dead.

 

[shadow355]

Something terrible happening to my niece and her new daughter.

Having a poor retirement.

Working past the age 58 or 59 .

Shadow 35(