What is Heaven like?

[IsaacNewton]

As the story goes, mankind was 'cast out' of the Garden of Eden for some chick that got the munchies. "I god give you this garden of Eden so you can frolic and jump around, chase fireflies and drink water, and you and Eve can live for eternity." (Ha! Little does this unsuspecting couple know that I've put an apple tree in there that is off limits.) "You can't eat any of the apples, they are umm an experimental variety and they aren't, uh, ready yet." (Now to create a snake that talks that will convince Eve to eat an apple and condemn all of their billions of offspring to eternal hell and torture which seems like a just punishment for eating an apple). (Note to self - I already know the future so I know what will happen with the whole apple/snake thing. I'm not sure why I do shit like this but it's fun as hell to play with their lives and the lives of the billions of babies to come. Because, you know, I 'love' them)

Who's to say that in 'heaven' someone won't commit some misdemeanor there and everyone get cast out again. Maybe for drinking the last holy Sprite.

 

[RodISHI]

As the story goes, mankind was 'cast out' of the Garden of Eden for some chick that got the munchies. "I god give you this garden of Eden so you can frolic and jump around, chase fireflies and drink water, and you and Eve can live for eternity." (Ha! Little does this unsuspecting couple know that I've put an apple tree in there that is off limits.) "You can't eat any of the apples, they are umm an experimental variety and they aren't, uh, ready yet." (Now to create a snake that talks that will convince Eve to eat an apple and condemn all of their billions of offspring to eternal hell and torture which seems like a just punishment for eating an apple). (Note to self - I already know the future so I know what will happen with the whole apple/snake thing. I'm not sure why I do shit like this but it's fun as hell to play with their lives and the lives of the billions of babies to come. Because, you know, I 'love' them)

Who's to say that in 'heaven' someone won't commit some misdemeanor there and everyone get cast out again. Maybe for drinking the last holy Sprite.

I have no recollections of "sprite".

Eve is called chavah/chava/Ishah and various other names depending on the language version you are reading. It means 'life' and more specifically 'to teach how to breath and show where the life giving spirit is'. It is a portion of adam/human made from the bone/essence of that human. Seek and you will find if you are actually looking for the truth about what the Bible is trying to tell you.

You getting ready to go to the east of the garden of your own pleasure/eden?

 

[rightwinger]

When you imagine Heaven, what do you see in your mind's eye? Is it like a white soundstage with mist and robed and harp playing people? Is it a lush garden with trees, birds and bubbling brooks? Is it earthlike or a serene state of mind?

I always thought it would be like West Virginia

Blue ridge mountains, Shenandoah river
Life is old there, older than the trees
Younger than the mountains, blowing like a breeze

I can see West Virginia from my house. This isn't a Sarah Palin moment on my behalf, it's true.

I can assure you that if Heaven is like West Virginia, I'd rather be greeted at the Gates of Hell by the ghost of Richard Nixon and invited to a parcheesi tournament with him, J. Edgar Hoover and Joe McCarthy.

I don't know

Must be those country roads

 

[MarathonMike]

I see Morgan Freeman telling me "You're up!" On the first tee at Augusta National.

 

[Nosmo King]

When you imagine Heaven, what do you see in your mind's eye? Is it like a white soundstage with mist and robed and harp playing people? Is it a lush garden with trees, birds and bubbling brooks? Is it earthlike or a serene state of mind?

I always thought it would be like West Virginia

Blue ridge mountains, Shenandoah river
Life is old there, older than the trees
Younger than the mountains, blowing like a breeze

I can see West Virginia from my house. This isn't a Sarah Palin moment on my behalf, it's true.

I can assure you that if Heaven is like West Virginia, I'd rather be greeted at the Gates of Hell by the ghost of Richard Nixon and invited to a parcheesi tournament with him, J. Edgar Hoover and Joe McCarthy.

I don't know

Must be those country roads

In my experience the country roads in West Virginia are maintained by guys who own tire and alignment shops. They too must make boat payments.

 

[Billy_Kinetta]

When you imagine Heaven, what do you see in your mind's eye? Is it like a white soundstage with mist and robed and harp playing people? Is it a lush garden with trees, birds and bubbling brooks? Is it earthlike or a serene state of mind?

Just like here, without all the shit.

But isn't "the shit" the stuff that makes our mortal lives interesting and challenging? Without it, wouldn't existence get real boring real fast?

Ya think? Personally, I could do without the shit.

 

[social philosopher]

When you imagine Heaven, what do you see in your mind's eye? Is it like a white soundstage with mist and robed and harp playing people? Is it a lush garden with trees, birds and bubbling brooks? Is it earthlike or a serene state of mind?

Heaven isn't like anything you said. Actually heaven is a plural. Heavens. And it strictly means an area out of earth's gravity well. The concept of the Christian heaven is incorrect. I realize you meant some wonderful serene place. I am sorry. It doesn't exist.

 

[RodISHI]

Some people only know what they can see from a carnal view. To people of Faith heaven is a spiritual place which a simple minded carnal human who sleeps in the dust of the earth (as in the spiritual dead) cannot see it, perceive it or even imagine it.

 

[Bonzi]

If you are a Christian, read Revelation.

If you are not, it's whatever you want it to be

 

[Admiral Rockwell Tory]

I see Morgan Freeman telling me "You're up!" On the first tee at Augusta National.

Will they let Morgan Freeman play at Augusta? I guess in heaven they should.

 

[Admiral Rockwell Tory]

When you imagine Heaven, what do you see in your mind's eye? Is it like a white soundstage with mist and robed and harp playing people? Is it a lush garden with trees, birds and bubbling brooks? Is it earthlike or a serene state of mind?

I always thought it would be like West Virginia

Blue ridge mountains, Shenandoah river
Life is old there, older than the trees
Younger than the mountains, blowing like a breeze

I can see West Virginia from my house. This isn't a Sarah Palin moment on my behalf, it's true.

I can assure you that if Heaven is like West Virginia, I'd rather be greeted at the Gates of Hell by the ghost of Richard Nixon and invited to a parcheesi tournament with him, J. Edgar Hoover and Joe McCarthy.

I don't know

Must be those country roads

In my experience the country roads in West Virginia are maintained by guys who own tire and alignment shops. They too must make boat payments.

Where are you going to use a boat in West Virginia?

White water rafting and a canoe are about as extensive as their boats get.

 

[MarathonMike]

I see Morgan Freeman telling me "You're up!" On the first tee at Augusta National.

Will they let Morgan Freeman play at Augusta? I guess in heaven they should.

Augusta is 'fully integrated' now. Condaleeza Rice is a member.

 

[BreezeWood]

Let me posit this: is heaven an individual experience, or is it a community experience?

I have no interest in psychedelic experiences, especially played out with a heavy metal soundtrack. Is Heaven a place of indulgence or a place of serenity? Is Heaven a place of virtue, or a place where sins are ignored?

.

Is Heaven a place of indulgence or a place of serenity?

Heaven is the residence of the Almighty - enter at one's own risk if invited.

life in the Everlasting would be whatever exists in the universe for a freed spirit to find refuge ... competition would be still the primary motivator where death is possible - if true as a gateway the endowment / destruction of Garden Earth by humanity is the ultimate test against our worthiness to even exist.

 

[Nosmo King]

When you imagine Heaven, what do you see in your mind's eye? Is it like a white soundstage with mist and robed and harp playing people? Is it a lush garden with trees, birds and bubbling brooks? Is it earthlike or a serene state of mind?

I always thought it would be like West Virginia

Blue ridge mountains, Shenandoah river
Life is old there, older than the trees
Younger than the mountains, blowing like a breeze

I can see West Virginia from my house. This isn't a Sarah Palin moment on my behalf, it's true.

I can assure you that if Heaven is like West Virginia, I'd rather be greeted at the Gates of Hell by the ghost of Richard Nixon and invited to a parcheesi tournament with him, J. Edgar Hoover and Joe McCarthy.

I don't know

Must be those country roads

In my experience the country roads in West Virginia are maintained by guys who own tire and alignment shops. They too must make boat payments.

Where are you going to use a boat in West Virginia?

White water rafting and a canoe are about as extensive as their boats get.

Ever notice that blue wavy state line on the western border? It's called the Ohio River!

 

[Admiral Rockwell Tory]

I see Morgan Freeman telling me "You're up!" On the first tee at Augusta National.

Will they let Morgan Freeman play at Augusta? I guess in heaven they should.

Augusta is 'fully integrated' now. Condaleeza Rice is a member.

Great! I was uncertain. I always hated that they kept blacks, Jews, and women out just because they could.

 

[Admiral Rockwell Tory]

I always thought it would be like West Virginia

Blue ridge mountains, Shenandoah river
Life is old there, older than the trees
Younger than the mountains, blowing like a breeze

I can see West Virginia from my house. This isn't a Sarah Palin moment on my behalf, it's true.

I can assure you that if Heaven is like West Virginia, I'd rather be greeted at the Gates of Hell by the ghost of Richard Nixon and invited to a parcheesi tournament with him, J. Edgar Hoover and Joe McCarthy.

I don't know

Must be those country roads

In my experience the country roads in West Virginia are maintained by guys who own tire and alignment shops. They too must make boat payments.

Where are you going to use a boat in West Virginia?

White water rafting and a canoe are about as extensive as their boats get.

Ever notice that blue wavy state line on the western border? It's called the Ohio River!

Ever try to run a boat on the Ohio River? My state has the longest border on the Ohio. They have these things called barges that will run your ass over. Also, the Ohio up there to the north is not very wide. They have things called sand bars, pilings, and trees that float downstream and those things have a tendency to ruin your whole day. Also, forget swimming or water skiing. The water is so nasty that when a skier falls down he doesn't sink, but skitters across the surface. Also, God forbid ever trying to eat a fish you catch out of there!

 

[Nosmo King]

I can see West Virginia from my house. This isn't a Sarah Palin moment on my behalf, it's true.

I can assure you that if Heaven is like West Virginia, I'd rather be greeted at the Gates of Hell by the ghost of Richard Nixon and invited to a parcheesi tournament with him, J. Edgar Hoover and Joe McCarthy.

I don't know

Must be those country roads

In my experience the country roads in West Virginia are maintained by guys who own tire and alignment shops. They too must make boat payments.

Where are you going to use a boat in West Virginia?

White water rafting and a canoe are about as extensive as their boats get.

Ever notice that blue wavy state line on the western border? It's called the Ohio River!

Ever try to run a boat on the Ohio River? My state has the longest on the Ohio. They have these things called barges that will run your ass over. Also, the Ohio up there to the north is not very wide. They have things called sand bars, pilings, and trees that float downstream and those things have a tendency to ruin your whole day. Also, forget swimming or water skiing. The water is so nasty that when a skier falls down he doesn't sink, but skitters across the surface. Also, God forbid ever trying to eat a fish you catch out of there!

I live beside the Ohio River at the point West Virginia, Pennsylvania and Ohio meet. The BassMasters tournament was held here a couple years back. Our supply of drinking water is drawn from the Ohio. Don't try to tell me about the river. I'm at mile 42 along the flow from the point at Pittsburgh and the northernmost point on the river.

Have you ever seen a photograph of Pittsburgh? How about one taken during the Three Rivers Regatta? It is heaven!

Redirect Notice

 

[Admiral Rockwell Tory]

I don't know

Must be those country roads

In my experience the country roads in West Virginia are maintained by guys who own tire and alignment shops. They too must make boat payments.

Where are you going to use a boat in West Virginia?

White water rafting and a canoe are about as extensive as their boats get.

Ever notice that blue wavy state line on the western border? It's called the Ohio River!

Ever try to run a boat on the Ohio River? My state has the longest on the Ohio. They have these things called barges that will run your ass over. Also, the Ohio up there to the north is not very wide. They have things called sand bars, pilings, and trees that float downstream and those things have a tendency to ruin your whole day. Also, forget swimming or water skiing. The water is so nasty that when a skier falls down he doesn't sink, but skitters across the surface. Also, God forbid ever trying to eat a fish you catch out of there!

I live beside the Ohio River at the point West Virginia, Pennsylvania and Ohio meet. The BassMasters tournament was held here a couple years back. Our supply of drinking water is drawn from the Ohio. Don't try to tell me about the river. I'm at mile 42 along the flow from the point at Pittsburgh and the northernmost point on the river.

Have you ever seen a photograph of Pittsburgh? How about one taken during the Three Rivers Regatta? It is heaven!

Redirect Notice

Is Pennsylvania in West Virginia or are my maps outdated?

Yeah, those boats look like weekend bass boats or ski boats owned by tire and alignment store owners.

Ever see what happens when one of those hydroplanes hits a submerged log?

We have the same thing down river a little further. Everything downstream catches Pittsburgh's sewage too!

 

[RWNJ]

When you imagine Heaven, what do you see in your mind's eye? Is it like a white soundstage with mist and robed and harp playing people? Is it a lush garden with trees, birds and bubbling brooks? Is it earthlike or a serene state of mind?

Heaven is a city designed and built by God. Good enough for me.

 

[Darkwind]

I envision being wrapped in an all-encompassing, never-ending warmth of love.

Plus I get to see all the jihadists with their reward. I'm going to really like heaven if its a bunch of homosexuals in place of virgins.