Why I rejected life as a Mormon mother

[Disir]

Carys Bray grew up with the certainty that her God-ordained destiny was to become a mother. So when she was beset by the all-too-familiar doubts of so many new parents in those sleep-deprived early years, they felt tantamount to sins.

She grew up in a family that was "very, very obedient. Obedience is the first rule of heaven; whatever the prophet said, we tried to do it." When it came to women, the prophet was quite clear. Stay at home and be the best wife and mother you can.

As an adolescent, Carys's perceived destiny chafed with her nascent ambition. "I had all these ideas; I thought I'd like to work in a university because I loved school." But unlike some adolescents who throw off the religion they are born to, she stayed with it. When she turned 18, however: "It was like I'd been reset to 'default' mode or something. All that stuff about marriage came to the forefront of my mind. If I left it too long, if I said I wasn't getting married until I was a bit older, there might not be anyone left."

Marriage – to Neil, a fellow Mormon – won out over any other putative goals, and motherhood soon followed. Mormon women are encouraged to have as many children as they feel able to. "I was pregnant by my 21st birthday," says Carys. "I did feel a sense of, 'I'm 21 and pregnant; that's not really what I had planned.' But it seemed wrong to put off having children."

Life was tough. "We were quite isolated, and had really no money because Neil was a student." To make ends meet, Carys took on a part-time job, but that brought its own problems. "I decided to work nights so I wouldn't be away from my children during the day. I felt guilty about working and was so exhausted I was physically sick."

Carys was soon pregnant again, but her second baby, Libby, died just days after birth from an undiagnosed genetic condition. Here, too, her instincts were at odds with Mormon teachings, which state that you are, in essence, reunited with the deceased on your own death. "People would say, 'Oh, but you'll get the chance to bring her up [in the celestial kingdom].'" Some people might have found this comforting, says Carys, but it didn't help her.

Depression set in after the birth of her third son. "I was miserable for a long time. Then he was a really challenging toddler, and I thought, 'It must be my own fault for being miserable.'" Seeking help felt impossible as Mormons are required to be "very cheerful and happy and a good example to non-Mormons".

Read the rest here:

Why I rejected life as a Mormon mother | Life and style | The Guardian

 

[Luddly Neddite]

Avatar will say I'm wrong but from what I've seen and read, isolating people so they're more dependent on the church is exactly what they try to do.

 

[Disir]

Avatar will say I'm wrong but from what I've seen and read, isolating people so they're more dependent on the church is exactly what they try to do.

That is exactly what they do.


They do not have the numbers that they claim to have either.

 

[RetiredGySgt]

Avatar will say I'm wrong but from what I've seen and read, isolating people so they're more dependent on the church is exactly what they try to do.

That is exactly what they do.


They do not have the numbers that they claim to have either.

You two are a hoot. Explain how the church isolates normal people all over the world? People with jobs and families that live in every city and community?

 

[Disir]

Avatar will say I'm wrong but from what I've seen and read, isolating people so they're more dependent on the church is exactly what they try to do.

That is exactly what they do.


They do not have the numbers that they claim to have either.

You two are a hoot. Explain how the church isolates normal people all over the world? People with jobs and families that live in every city and community?

How much experience do you have with LDS?

 

[RetiredGySgt]

That is exactly what they do.


They do not have the numbers that they claim to have either.

You two are a hoot. Explain how the church isolates normal people all over the world? People with jobs and families that live in every city and community?

How much experience do you have with LDS?

Been a member since 1979.

 

[RetiredGySgt]

As for pregnant young, the LDS has female missionaries. They have to be 20 or 21 to start a mission unmarried and childless. So explain again how the church is indoctrinating the females to pump out babies and just live at home.

 

[Luddly Neddite]

I wish mormons would tell the truth but I suspect it's always more "lying for the lord".

No way I would ever trust the words or actions of of a mormon.


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[RetiredGySgt]

I wish mormons would tell the truth but I suspect it's always more "lying for the lord".

No way I would ever trust the words or actions of of a mormon.


Sent from my iPhone using USMessageBoard.com

Then you are an idiot, but then we already know that from your posting history. What EXACTLY do we lie about?

 

[Disir]

You two are a hoot. Explain how the church isolates normal people all over the world? People with jobs and families that live in every city and community?

How much experience do you have with LDS?

Been a member since 1979.

Ex-Mormon since 1980. So, if I say crack wheat on Saturday's then you know what I'm talking about. Further, my LDS line goes back to hooking up with Joseph Smith in Ohio, moving to Missouri, were in the Navoo Legion, got thrown out of Navoo, took people to Iowa via Brigham Young and then on to Salt Lake Valley. And then on......

So, all relationships are through LDS. This is true when you join. But, these are very superficial. There is no privacy or boundaries.

But, sure let's start with missionaries. Here is the handbook
You can start with page 37 and read all the way down to about 46.

https://www.lds.org/bc/content/ldsorg/topics/missionary/MissionaryHandbook2006Navigate.pdf?lang=eng

 

[Mr. H.]

I wish mormons would tell the truth but I suspect it's always more "lying for the lord".

No way I would ever trust the words or actions of of a mormon.


Sent from my iPhone using USMessageBoard.com

I'd rather not trust the words of an earth-bound human over an account of the moment of transvergence from nothing to something. An event to which no earth-bound human seems to have had a front row seat. Still, a moment of which humans seem to be of authority. We have been pimped over the millenia. At a cost of hundreds of millions of lives.

 

[Luddly Neddite]

I wish mormons would tell the truth but I suspect it's always more "lying for the lord".



No way I would ever trust the words or actions of of a mormon.





Sent from my iPhone using USMessageBoard.com

Then you are an idiot, but then we already know that from your posting history. What EXACTLY do we lie about?

As I've said before, my opinion comes from morms I've known, internet reading and a couple of documentaries.

Oh yeah, and message board phonies who get nasty and defensive when I hit the nail on the head.




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