Sherry
You're not the boss of me
I lean towards attributing the 'but for your actions' role to a female as much as a male. You climb into bed with some guy - ie, the scenario outlined in the article (and not the ridiculous fantasy dreamed up by the droolaider Contessa) then, in my female opinion, that female has placed herself in a situation whereby a guy could misinterpret the situation.
key words: but for your actions (not your dress)
If a man forces sex against the woman's will, then it's rape. But if a woman allows things to progress, even to the point of 'getting in bed' with the guy, then she must accept responsibility for her actions as well.
I think a real risk of refusing to place any responsibility on the woman's actions (not necessarily blame, but at least acknowledging she may have contributed to what happened) is that you end up with women acting damned stupid, using little to no judgement, and getting themselves into situations where rape or an assault can (and is even likely) to occur.
I hope that made sense...
It makes perfect sense to intelligent females. So you'll probably get a neg rep from Contessa.
I totally agree, it is always rape. But, as I said before it is the 'but for your actions' thing. For instance, you get into bed with some guy then change your mind, yea, it is still rape but I would be more prepared to take into account the actions of the female as well as the male in that circumstance.
There are so many variables, whether it's a one night stand or a relationship that is progressing. Things can get heated up rapidly, but what is the message?? Either stay chaste or be prepared to go all the way?? These situations are often spontaneous, and I don't think it's unreasonable to feel attracted enough to someone to even want to get naked and in bed with them, without it being assumed that it will result in full blown intercourse. Maybe some would think that is being naive and/or a tease, but it's also human nature to want to explore. I don't know, it's complicated.