Ask Joe (a new advice column just for USMB members)

[AVG-JOE]

Dear Joe:

How many socks do you have?

Is Stat one?
Sincerely yours,
koshergrl

I can honestly say I've never had a sock. Even what little time I spent posting on other boards, I was always @AVG-JOE .

True Story!​

Of course you can! I can say it too! I have never had a sock..see!
Which brings me to my next question:

Dear Joe:

Which one of us is telling the truth?

Cordially,

Kgrl

I can only speak for me, kg.

I have no clue as to what you do, and that's the way I like it...​

 

[Statistikhengst]

Dear Avg_JOE,

when the moon is in the seventh house,
and Jupiter aligns with Mars,

what happens next?

Galactically yours,

Monkey Stat

 

[AVG-JOE]

Joe,
Can you create a gay mariiage forum for Bodey and Seawytch and all thier socks have a place all to thier own to post the endless gay marriage threads they pollute the rest of the board with.

Not exactly a request for advice there. More like asking for favoritism

Other than recommending a more liberal use of spell-check when you post, my only advise would be to get used to groups that you don't like using The US Constitution to get their rightful slice of The American Pie.

All means All, Brother.

 

[AVG-JOE]

Dear Avg_JOE,

when the moon is in the seventh house,
and Jupiter aligns with Mars,

what happens next?

Galactically yours,

Monkey Stat

"Then peace will guide the planets, and love will rule the stars."
[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kjxSCAalsBE]The 5th Dimension Age of Aquarius 1969 - YouTube[/ame]

But first there's this little matter of a Fair and Simple Tax Code.​

Fly Monkeys!

 

[Vandalshandle]

Dear Joe,
What is the meaning of life?

 

[Statistikhengst]

Dear Joe,
What is the meaning of life?

42!!!


Uh, sorry Joe, that just jumped right out of my Monkey-chest.

 

[AVG-JOE]

Dear Joe,
What is the meaning of life?

Evolving to the point of asking that question.

That's the dream of every Star: To oversee a wet rock in space that grows a living goo that one day understands that very question.

Once that happens, the Stars themselves become the Monkeys limit.

No pressure, Kids.

 

[Sarah G]

Hey Joe,

Where is the Love?

Sarah G

​

 

[Statistikhengst]

Dear Avg_JOE,

when the moon is in the seventh house,
and Jupiter aligns with Mars,

what happens next?

Galactically yours,

Monkey Stat

"Then peace will guide the planets, and love will rule the stars."
[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kjxSCAalsBE]The 5th Dimension Age of Aquarius 1969 - YouTube[/ame]

But first there's this little matter of a Fair and Simple Tax Code.​

Fly Monkeys!

Yo, fly, Monkeys!

 

[Vandalshandle]

Dear Joe,

If a train leaves New York at 8 AM, and travels 50 MPH towards Chicago, and a train leaves Chicago at 7 AM traveling 45 MPH to New York, at what point in time will the traffic controllers who put both trains on the same track be fired? Keep in mind that the controllers work for AMTRACK.

 

[Sarah G]

Hey Joe,

Is this the real life, is it just fantasy?

Sarah G

​

 

[Derideo_Te]

Dear Joe,

What if we Monkeys do reach the stars and discover that they are no different at all?

What happens then?

 

[Harry Dresden]

hey Joe....is it true that You can observe a lot just by watching?....

 

[AVG-JOE]

Hey Joe,

Where is the Love?

Sarah G

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WpYeekQkAdc​

Step one in that question is to define love. 'Love', like 'God', has as many definitions as are necessary to prevent insanity, depending on the circumstances of a given moment in Time in the life of the Monkey experiencing 'Love'.

What kind of love are we looking for, Sarah?

 

[AVG-JOE]

Dear Joe,

If a train leaves New York at 8 AM, and travels 50 MPH towards Chicago, and a train leaves Chicago at 7 AM traveling 45 MPH to New York, at what point in time will the traffic controllers who put both trains on the same track be fired? Keep in mind that the controllers work for AMTRACK.

I imagine that point would be the point of impact.

​

 

[AVG-JOE]

Hey Joe,

Is this the real life, is it just fantasy?

Sarah G

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fJ9rUzIMcZQ​

After organizing the evidence in my mind, my conclusion is that this is the only existence that I'm likely to experience, and I'm making the most of it.

To each his/her own! ​

The historic evidence leads me to believe that Monkey Spawn is our only living future.

We should be investing more in education...​

 

[AVG-JOE]

Dear Joe,

What if we Monkeys do reach the stars and discover that they are no different at all?

What happens then?

Hopefully the little bastards will look back on an AMAZING journey of discovery.
[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VcjzHMhBtf0]Journey - Don't Stop Believin' (Live in Houston) - YouTube[/ame]

 

[AVG-JOE]

hey Joe....is it true that You can observe a lot just by watching?....

Yes. But you can also observe with your eyes closed.

The eyes are for watching, the mind is for observing.

 

[Esmeralda]

Joe,

I'd really like the average Joe's opinion on this one, the man's opinion:


If a man is alone in the forest, and he says something, and there's no woman there to disagree with him, is he still wrong?

I am prepared to be open minded.

 

[Esmeralda]

Dear Joe,

How do you feel about socks and sandals? I mean, what's the real bottom line here? It is really just totally grotesque? Oh, and also, going to bed with your socks on? I am just having a lot of issues with socks.