Ask Joe (a new advice column just for USMB members)

[Votto]

Joe, which is best, briefs or boxers?

 

[Statistikhengst]

Joe, when undoing a female Monkey's bra whilst kissing, what is the best method: two hands, or just one??

 

[AVG-JOE]

Joe, which is best, briefs or boxers?

Sometimes one, sometimes the other, many times neither.

NEVER both!​

 

[AVG-JOE]

Joe, when undoing a female Monkey's bra whilst kissing, what is the best method: two hands, or just one??

Clasp in the back: practice until just two fingers and one thumb are all you need.

Clasp in the front: use both hands and your tongue.

The real trick is determining where the clasp is in only two tries

 

[Esmeralda]

Dear Joe,

Hot make up sex or slow romantic sex?

Sarah G

Hot make up sex AND slow romantic sex.

​

Is that the rhythm method?

 

[Esmeralda]

Okay -- lamas or dramas -- which is best?

 

[Statistikhengst]

Joe, when undoing a female Monkey's bra whilst kissing, what is the best method: two hands, or just one??

Clasp in the back: practice until just two fingers and one thumb are all you need.

Clasp in the front: use both hands and your tongue.

The real trick is determining where the clasp is in only two tries

I'll get to work on that right away, Herr Hauptmonkey!!!

 

[AVG-JOE]

Dear Joe,

Hot make up sex or slow romantic sex?

Sarah G

Hot make up sex AND slow romantic sex.

​

Is that the rhythm method?

I would say that it is a method... And one with a certain rhythm... but the rhythm method? No.

 

[Votto]

Joe, which is best, briefs or boxers?

Sometimes one, sometimes the other, many times neither.

NEVER both!​

Now see, that answer is far too vague.

I'm nothing but a sheep here man. Where is my shepherd?

Baaa.

 

[AVG-JOE]

Okay -- lamas or dramas -- which is best?

Depends on what the side dishes are...

Either way, a sweet, pink blush is preferable to a bold red whine ​

 

[AVG-JOE]

Joe, which is best, briefs or boxers?

Sometimes one, sometimes the other, many times neither.

NEVER both!​

Now see, that answer is far too vague.

I'm nothing but a sheep here man. Where is my shepherd?

Baaa.

Dude... man up, pick out your panties, and start your day. And don't forget to floss.

 

[Esmeralda]

okay -- lamas or dramas -- which is best?

depends on what the side dishes are...

either way, a sweet, pink blush is preferable to a bold red whine ​

lol

 

[AVG-JOE]

Dear Joe:

My wife seems like she's in an amorous mood.

What's my next best move?

Sleepless in Seattle

Tell her to put her clothes back on and come home from the neighbors house.

>>>>>

It's not the neighbor...
[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nj2700em-JQ]Joe Nichols - Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off - YouTube[/ame]

 

[AVG-JOE]

Dear Joe,

Even tho I'm clueless about the topic of monkeys that continues to appear in your column, I'm slightly repulsed.

Why is that?

How do you feel about monkeys wearing belt buckles and pilgrim shoes?

I don't think that Monkeys should be dressing monkeys at all. It's creepy.

`​

 

[AVG-JOE]

Dear Joe,

Hot make up sex or slow romantic sex?

Sarah G

And can you lick your eyebrows?

TIA

Regards from Rosie

Not without standing on a chair.

 

[Sarah G]

Dear Joe,

Hot make up sex or slow romantic sex?

Sarah G

And can you lick your eyebrows?

TIA

Regards from Rosie

Not without standing on a chair.

Dear Joe,

Why oh why can't I stop watching Love It or List It?

Sarah G

 

[eagle1462010]

Dear Joe.

In the next elections my choices suck. I can't stand either one of them and would never buy a car from them.

How do I vote Joe.................

Should I flip a coin or something..............

 

[Esmeralda]

Dear Joe, why the preoccupation with monkeys? Do these people have jungle fever?

 

[IlarMeilyr]

Dear Joe,

Hot make up sex or slow romantic sex?

Sarah G

And can you lick your eyebrows?

TIA

Regards from Rosie

Not without standing on a chair.

Joe:

Are you the famous guy whose advice was to lick your girlfriend's belly button

from the inside?

Sleepless in Saskatchewan

 

[Derideo_Te]

Joe,

Have you reached the point yet where you want to smack the OP for creating this pesky thread?