There is only one way to see reality. You must die to self. I don't see you doing that. You will never find peace until you do.Jus sayin, because you are so deeply repressed and holding stuff in, that when you finally pop, it's gonna make a mess!
You're smart enough to start understanding what everyone has said, but you refuse.
In a nutshell, it is that it is cool to follow a faith, but definitely not cool to follow a religion.
Let that santa claus stuff go, and see the reality. I'm telling ya, you'll poop better once you do...