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BREAKING: Hamas Loses House Seat To Democrats
POLITICS·Jun 26, 2024 · BabylonBee.com
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NEW YORK, NY — In a stunning primary election defeat suffered by incumbent Congressman Jamaal Bowman, Hamas lost one of its seats in the U.S. House of Representatives to a Democrat.
Though Hamas still controls valuable seats held by other lawmakers like Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Ilhan Omar, Cori Bush, and Ayanna Pressley, the loss of Bowman's seat to the Democrats was seen as a serious blow.
"This definitely decreases our influence in Congress," said Hamas spokes-terrorist Ali Musab Al-Hamza. "We've always been able to rely on the work ‘The Squad' does to plead our case and stand up for us, so losing Jamaal will set us back a bit. We will need to lean even more heavily on our current representatives in Congress to advance our agenda."
Though Bowman was disappointed with his loss in the primary, he vowed to continue working hard on behalf of Hamas. "This is not the outcome we wanted," he said in a statement acknowledging the defeat. "But this is no reason to be alarmed. While I am being pulled from Congress, it's not as though I'm being fired. It is still my mission to represent Hamas to the best of my ability as long as I'm here. Believe me, I can still do a lot of Jew-hating between now and the end of my term."
At publishing time, a Bowman campaign insider revealed the outgoing congressman remained confident that he would still be able to salvage his political career by running for office in Gaza.
POLITICS·Jun 26, 2024 · BabylonBee.com
Click here to view this article with reduced ads.
NEW YORK, NY — In a stunning primary election defeat suffered by incumbent Congressman Jamaal Bowman, Hamas lost one of its seats in the U.S. House of Representatives to a Democrat.
Though Hamas still controls valuable seats held by other lawmakers like Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Ilhan Omar, Cori Bush, and Ayanna Pressley, the loss of Bowman's seat to the Democrats was seen as a serious blow.
"This definitely decreases our influence in Congress," said Hamas spokes-terrorist Ali Musab Al-Hamza. "We've always been able to rely on the work ‘The Squad' does to plead our case and stand up for us, so losing Jamaal will set us back a bit. We will need to lean even more heavily on our current representatives in Congress to advance our agenda."
Though Bowman was disappointed with his loss in the primary, he vowed to continue working hard on behalf of Hamas. "This is not the outcome we wanted," he said in a statement acknowledging the defeat. "But this is no reason to be alarmed. While I am being pulled from Congress, it's not as though I'm being fired. It is still my mission to represent Hamas to the best of my ability as long as I'm here. Believe me, I can still do a lot of Jew-hating between now and the end of my term."
At publishing time, a Bowman campaign insider revealed the outgoing congressman remained confident that he would still be able to salvage his political career by running for office in Gaza.
