Breast-Feeding: Private Act or Public Right?

[Gunny]

we are really on the same page...you are just too "crusty" to allow yourself to get in touch with your feelings!

Feelings?

 

[CSM]

Feelings?

MM is an former Naval officer; I know that in the Army they issue all newly commissioned officers a tiny jar of feelings. I have no idea what the heck they use them for as usually they empty the jar and put their brains in it. The jar is then carefully placed on a shelf in a closet someplace...never to see the light of day again.

Breast feeding in public doesn't bother me one bit unless the one being fed is over 11 years old.

 

[Annie]

We don't require everyone to eat in private.. However, when your children are screaming, common courtesy dictates that you remove them from the restaurant for everyone elses sake, as well as their own.

As for breastfeeding, a mother KNOWS when her child is most likely to want to eat. What's she doing traipsing through a mall during that time, anyway? It's also stressful for a baby to be fed in anything except a nice, calm environment. A friggen mall ain't it. Nor is a grocery store. If you MUST be out, then why not just go back to your car, if the place you're at doesn't have one of those nice little feeding rooms? Your car is at least private, and quiet.

Spoken as the enlightened, non-maternal one.

Kids are not on a time table.

They cannot be offed for deviating from such, nor should be their mothers or fathers.

Even when all 'goes according to plan' a boob may be hidden beneath a blanket and noticed by those with great eyes. Should we shoot them? Should we shoot the kids that don't get with the program?

Should we shoot or bow down to the Shattered that let all the regular folks know just how useless the are?

Whoops, putting away the drink, before Shattered can call me out.

 

[Gem]

I think that this issue only rears its head when someone on one end of the "breastfeeding in public" issue or the other tries to make some sort of point about it.

While I plan to breastfeed and imagine that at some point in time I will have to do so in public, I will also admit to having been uncomfortable more than once at a woman breastfeeding in public. The most vivid memory of this I have was in highschool, I was a lifeguard, and there was a time when a woman pulled down her bathing suit top to her waist and fed her baby while sitting with her feet in the baby pool. She responded indignantly "would YOU want to eat YOUR lunch in the locker room?!?!" when my co-guard asked her to please feed her child there since there were numerous teenagers and adults who were uncomfortable by her being topless at the pool. I thought then, and I think now..."No, but then I wouldn't want to eat lunch with my mom flashing her goods to a whole bunch of damned strangers either, lady!"

It seems that what always happens when these cases get major press is that:

1) Some breastfeeding nut decides that she should have the right to take her top off and bare her breast in the middle of an Applebees and feed her child with no blanket and no one should dare comment that it makes them the slightest bit uncomfortable or else they are a misogynist pig who hates women and babies and should be publically humiliated for daring to comment against such a natural, beautiful thing.

2) Some idiot sees a woman calmly and quietly feeding her child as discreetly as possible and raises a ridiculous hissy fit because he can't stop starting at her breast long enough to read his paper or eat his salad without distraction.


People have the right to feed their children in public. People have the right to eat, shop, sit at a pool, or on a plane without having to look at some strange woman's breast. These two rights can be met with simple common sense.

Breastfeeding women, plan accordingly, bring a blanket to cover yourself so that you are not giving an eyeful of boobie to passerby's (you may feel its beautiful and natural...so do nudists...but unless you want to see a naked 60-year old nudist man shopping next to you at Target...lets continue to operate under the assumption that public nudity is a no-no). If you are covered, you can feed your child anywhere you want...but commonsense would tell you to do it somewhere calm, quiet, and out of the way (not for others, but for your child).

Passerbys...realize that a woman sitting quietly with a blanket draped over her shoulder and chest isn't cold...shes nursing, leave her alone. If, in the process of starting or stopping feeding her breast accidently comes briefly into view...give her a break...when you burp accidentally during a meal or talk with your mouth full or accidentally drop some nacho out of your mouth while eating in public...we don't point and scream that you are disgusting and demand you eat in private.

 

[Shattered]

Spoken as the enlightened, non-maternal one.

Kids are not on a time table.

They cannot be offed for deviating from such, nor should be their mothers or fathers.

Even when all 'goes according to plan' a boob may be hidden beneath a blanket and noticed by those with great eyes. Should we shoot them? Should we shoot the kids that don't get with the program?

Should we shoot or bow down to the Shattered that let all the regular folks know just how useless the are?

Whoops, putting away the drink, before Shattered can call me out.

Obviously, you've done such a wonderful job with the ones you teach, since you're always here.

Here's a bit of unsolicited advice for you, Kath.. IF you want me to leave you alone, don't be stupid enough to come looking for me.

 

[Shattered]

I think that this issue only rears its head when someone on one end of the "breastfeeding in public" issue or the other tries to make some sort of point about it.

While I plan to breastfeed and imagine that at some point in time I will have to do so in public, I will also admit to having been uncomfortable more than once at a woman breastfeeding in public. The most vivid memory of this I have was in highschool, I was a lifeguard, and there was a time when a woman pulled down her bathing suit top to her waist and fed her baby while sitting with her feet in the baby pool. She responded indignantly "would YOU want to eat YOUR lunch in the locker room?!?!" when my co-guard asked her to please feed her child there since there were numerous teenagers and adults who were uncomfortable by her being topless at the pool. I thought then, and I think now..."No, but then I wouldn't want to eat lunch with my mom flashing her goods to a whole bunch of damned strangers either, lady!"

It seems that what always happens when these cases get major press is that:

1) Some breastfeeding nut decides that she should have the right to take her top off and bare her breast in the middle of an Applebees and feed her child with no blanket and no one should dare comment that it makes them the slightest bit uncomfortable or else they are a misogynist pig who hates women and babies and should be publically humiliated for daring to comment against such a natural, beautiful thing.

2) Some idiot sees a woman calmly and quietly feeding her child as discreetly as possible and raises a ridiculous hissy fit because he can't stop starting at her breast long enough to read his paper or eat his salad without distraction.


People have the right to feed their children in public. People have the right to eat, shop, sit at a pool, or on a plane without having to look at some strange woman's breast. These two rights can be met with simple common sense.

Breastfeeding women, plan accordingly, bring a blanket to cover yourself so that you are not giving an eyeful of boobie to passerby's (you may feel its beautiful and natural...so do nudists...but unless you want to see a naked 60-year old nudist man shopping next to you at Target...lets continue to operate under the assumption that public nudity is a no-no). If you are covered, you can feed your child anywhere you want...but commonsense would tell you to do it somewhere calm, quiet, and out of the way (not for others, but for your child).

Passerbys...realize that a woman sitting quietly with a blanket draped over her shoulder and chest isn't cold...shes nursing, leave her alone. If, in the process of starting or stopping feeding her breast accidently comes briefly into view...give her a break...when you burp accidentally during a meal or talk with your mouth full or accidentally drop some nacho out of your mouth while eating in public...we don't point and scream that you are disgusting and demand you eat in private.

Ever the voice of reason. SOME would do well to take note of your words.

 

[Said1]

Having been there and done that, I can say, with certainty, that despite your best efforts, sometimes you're traipsing through places with your baby and they surprise you. That is, you have to go out, you think the baby will be fine, you plan to be back in time for their normal feeding, but they surpise you and want to nurse the minute you arrive at your errand. I didn't breast feed, but there was an occasion or two that I thought I could make it to the drug store and back before my daughter's next feeding - not so. These were usually the times I was going to get formula, go figure.


Anyway, I guess the my point is that sometimes breastfeeding women HAVE to leave their house to run errands. Sometimes, their children surprise them and need to be fed at a time that is not generally when they have a feeding. If you are breast feeding, covered, and out of the way, mothers should be left alone. Running out to the car isn't always an option.....what if you don't have one?

 

[manu1959]

true story..........

i am at an outdoor cafe in berkeley

at a bus stop across the street is a child and a mom standing there "bickerering"

mom finally throws up her arms...

child....ducks under the moms shirt and starts brest feeding....i figure the kid for 8 or 9.....

 

[Gunny]

true story..........

i am at an outdoor cafe in berkeley

at a bus stop across the street is a child and a mom standing there "bickerering"

mom finally throws up her arms...

child....ducks under the moms shirt and starts brest feeding....i figure the kid for 8 or 9.....

I don't know which one has worse "issues."

 

[Said1]

I don't know which one has worse "issues."

After witnessing that scene, I'd say Manu.

 

[Gunny]

After witnessing that scene, I'd say Manu.

 

[MassageGirl]

I think that this issue only rears its head when someone on one end of the "breastfeeding in public" issue or the other tries to make some sort of point about it.

Seems like in this case, it appears that the "point" that some people make,happens to be at the very moment an infant is eating its supper. The baby's gotta eat sometime...

While I plan to breastfeed and imagine that at some point in time I will have to do so in public, I will also admit to having been uncomfortable more than once at a woman breastfeeding in public. The most vivid memory of this I have was in highschool, I was a lifeguard, and there was a time when a woman pulled down her bathing suit top to her waist and fed her baby while sitting with her feet in the baby pool. She responded indignantly "would YOU want to eat YOUR lunch in the locker room?!?!" when my co-guard asked her to please feed her child there since there were numerous teenagers and adults who were uncomfortable by her being topless at the pool. I thought then, and I think now..."No, but then I wouldn't want to eat lunch with my mom flashing her goods to a whole bunch of damned strangers either, lady!"

The thing is, she was right. Unless you have to take your sandwich into the locker room, then she shouldnt have to take her babys lunch into it. Look, I et that its not cool to pull your breasts out in public, at least to most people, but its not cool to have your thong showing, and at one point, it wasnt even cool to show any cleavage at all, ankles included. Well, MEN could walk around shirtless, of course.... When the heck are WOMEN going to be seen as equals??? Just because our chests happen to have GLANDS in them, and stick out (usually more than a mans does) why should THEY have all the fun, walking arounf topless with their <GASP!!> NIPPLES showing!! ZOIKES!!! Is that GROSS to you, because unless youre a lesbian (I mean no joke, seriously) then a mans chest will turn you on, kinda like how a womans chest turns a man on...

It seems that what always happens when these cases get major press is that:

1) Some breastfeeding nut decides that she should have the right to take her top off and bare her breast in the middle of an Applebees and feed her child with no blanket and no one should dare comment that it makes them the slightest bit uncomfortable or else they are a misogynist pig who hates women and babies and should be publically humiliated for daring to comment against such a natural, beautiful thing.

Oh dear, I really am excited that you plan on breastfeeding, but you wouldnt BELIEVE the mysoginists out there. It doesnt matter what YOUR standards are, they arent stupid, they know whats going on under your nursing shirt/ blanket/ etc,and they SEE breastfeeding as something called "feminism".. OH the NAZIS we must be, just trying to feed our helpless little 10 pound babies!!! LOL!! Sorry, just had to illustrate that point.. hehehe

2) Some idiot sees a woman calmly and quietly feeding her child as discreetly as possible and raises a ridiculous hissy fit because he can't stop starting at her breast long enough to read his paper or eat his salad without distraction.

HAHA YEAH thats exactly what Im talking about... Uh... Guess I should have read your whole post first, lol... Yes those idiots dont need babysitter laws against women, they simply need to learn to keep their own wieners in their pants, lol...

People have the right to feed their children in public. People have the right to eat, shop, sit at a pool, or on a plane without having to look at some strange woman's breast. These two rights can be met with simple common sense.

I firmly agree, and (not trying to hijack here) if women were allowed to go topless, and show nipples the same way men can, then check this out- MEN WOULD GET USED TO SEEING BOOBS ALL DAY, and it WOULDNT be a BIG DEAL. In fact, I bet wet T shirt contests would even go out of style!! WOO HOO!!

Breastfeeding women, plan accordingly, bring a blanket to cover yourself so that you are not giving an eyeful of boobie to passerby's (you may feel its beautiful and natural...so do nudists...but unless you want to see a naked 60-year old nudist man shopping next to you at Target...lets continue to operate under the assumption that public nudity is a no-no). If you are covered, you can feed your child anywhere you want...but commonsense would tell you to do it somewhere calm, quiet, and out of the way (not for others, but for your child).

Thats not always possible, although the sentiment is not left unappreciated.
Its juts not always possible. People GO to public beaches. They GO to public pools. They arent always wearing a nursing shirt, etc, and a blanket is just too hot to be covering up with, in those situations.
Just trying to be practical here... When youre a parent you will understand. Its like telling people to change their babys diapers in the bathroom. There simply isnt always a bathroom. Tough. Thats just how murphys law works.

Passerbys...realize that a woman sitting quietly with a blanket draped over her shoulder and chest isn't cold...shes nursing, leave her alone. If, in the process of starting or stopping feeding her breast accidently comes briefly into view...give her a break...when you burp accidentally during a meal or talk with your mouth full or accidentally drop some nacho out of your mouth while eating in public...we don't point and scream that you are disgusting and demand you eat in private.

HAHAHA You rock... However I wouldnt EVER put the "maturity" responsibility on the women who just spent 9 months of her life and an extra 35 pounds, no less, to grow the baby, just because its too hot to use a blanket, or because shes in the wrong AREA...
I say, if she has to run around topless in order to make it easier for her BABY to get his reccommended daily nutrition, then so be it. Everyone else can just kiss her tushy. =) HAHA

Hope to debate more with you, as you are a very bright person, and I love your debate style!!! =)

 

[dilloduck]

Seems like in this case, it appears that the "point" that some people make,happens to be at the very moment an infant is eating its supper. The baby's gotta eat sometime...



The thing is, she was right. Unless you have to take your sandwich into the locker room, then she shouldnt have to take her babys lunch into it. Look, I et that its not cool to pull your breasts out in public, at least to most people, but its not cool to have your thong showing, and at one point, it wasnt even cool to show any cleavage at all, ankles included. Well, MEN could walk around shirtless, of course.... When the heck are WOMEN going to be seen as equals??? Just because our chests happen to have GLANDS in them, and stick out (usually more than a mans does) why should THEY have all the fun, walking arounf topless with their <GASP!!> NIPPLES showing!! ZOIKES!!! Is that GROSS to you, because unless youre a lesbian (I mean no joke, seriously) then a mans chest will turn you on, kinda like how a womans chest turns a man on...



Oh dear, I really am excited that you plan on breastfeeding, but you wouldnt BELIEVE the mysoginists out there. It doesnt matter what YOUR standards are, they arent stupid, they know whats going on under your nursing shirt/ blanket/ etc,and they SEE breastfeeding as something called "feminism".. OH the NAZIS we must be, just trying to feed our helpless little 10 pound babies!!! LOL!! Sorry, just had to illustrate that point.. hehehe



HAHA YEAH thats exactly what Im talking about... Uh... Guess I should have read your whole post first, lol... Yes those idiots dont need babysitter laws against women, they simply need to learn to keep their own wieners in their pants, lol...




I firmly agree, and (not trying to hijack here) if women were allowed to go topless, and show nipples the same way men can, then check this out- MEN WOULD GET USED TO SEEING BOOBS ALL DAY, and it WOULDNT be a BIG DEAL. In fact, I bet wet T shirt contests would even go out of style!! WOO HOO!!



Thats not always possible, although the sentiment is not left unappreciated.
Its juts not always possible. People GO to public beaches. They GO to public pools. They arent always wearing a nursing shirt, etc, and a blanket is just too hot to be covering up with, in those situations.
Just trying to be practical here... When youre a parent you will understand. Its like telling people to change their babys diapers in the bathroom. There simply isnt always a bathroom. Tough. Thats just how murphys law works.



HAHAHA You rock... However I wouldnt EVER put the "maturity" responsibility on the women who just spent 9 months of her life and an extra 35 pounds, no less, to grow the baby, just because its too hot to use a blanket, or because shes in the wrong AREA...
I say, if she has to run around topless in order to make it easier for her BABY to get his reccommended daily nutrition, then so be it. Everyone else can just kiss her tushy. =) HAHA

Hope to debate more with you, as you are a very bright person, and I love your debate style!!! =)

Women can legally go topless in Austin but I guess they really don't want to aclimate men to seeing boobs all that badly.

 

[MassageGirl]

Not yet, but Im sure that the only reason they wouldnt, is because its only legal in ONE city, in a nation FULL of major cities...

Men would be flying in from all over if Texan women were running around topless.

2nd- Men generally only care about the visuals. Its a look. They already look down our blouses on a regular basis.. whats the big difference??? They go to topless bars just to see the breasts... TO SEE THEM. Not to assault women. To look at boobs.

Whoop tee doo... Thats my opinion about it all. I wish we would all burn our bras again.. Those were the days, I bet! =)

 

[dilloduck]

Not yet, but Im sure that the only reason they wouldnt, is because its only legal in ONE city, in a nation FULL of major cities...

Men would be flying in from all over if Texan women were running around topless.

2nd- Men generally only care about the visuals. Its a look. They already look down our blouses on a regular basis.. whats the big difference??? They go to topless bars just to see the breasts... TO SEE THEM. Not to assault women. To look at boobs.

Whoop tee doo... Thats my opinion about it all. I wish we would all burn our bras again.. Those were the days, I bet! =)

Tell em all to carry babies around with em when they go topless---then they could act all offended when somebody looks.

 

[Gem]

MassageGirl,

Thanks for the great comments. I still think that there is a happy medium between the two opinions. While I agree that a woman can't always find the ideal spot for breast-feeding...however, being an aunt to 1-year old triplets and a young woman with lots of friends having babies...I know that you can shove a light-weight burping-cloth-esque blanket into a diaper bag to be respectful of others.

I do not think that most people have a problem with the woman who is quietly sitting trying to be discrete as possible as she feeds her child wherever she is...I think the women that people have issues with are the ones who are making no effort whatsoever to consider their surroundings or the people around them.

The woman at the pool I guarded at refused the locker room - first, it was not a bathroom but a full locker room with a room of couches and chairs, air-conditioned, clean and quiet. Second...she wasn't being discreet...but rather she was wearing her one-piece suit around her waist sitting poolside with both breasts exposed. I guess my question is - Why? Why was that neccessary...why couldn't she sit quietly on a pool chair out of view of others?

I don't like the attitude of "I'm a mother, its a beautiful thing so I get to do whatever I want and people who say anything about it are assholes..." anymore than I dislike the attitude of "Feed your kid in the dirty bathroom because I'm offended by the slightest peek of flesh."

It seems like common sense on both sides of the debate is the simplest solution.

 

[manu1959]

MassageGirl,

Thanks for the great comments. I still think that there is a happy medium between the two opinions. While I agree that a woman can't always find the ideal spot for breast-feeding...however, being an aunt to 1-year old triplets and a young woman with lots of friends having babies...I know that you can shove a light-weight burping-cloth-esque blanket into a diaper bag to be respectful of others.

I do not think that most people have a problem with the woman who is quietly sitting trying to be discrete as possible as she feeds her child wherever she is...I think the women that people have issues with are the ones who are making no effort whatsoever to consider their surroundings or the people around them.

The woman at the pool I guarded at refused the locker room - first, it was not a bathroom but a full locker room with a room of couches and chairs, air-conditioned, clean and quiet. Second...she wasn't being discreet...but rather she was wearing her one-piece suit around her waist sitting poolside with both breasts exposed. I guess my question is - Why? Why was that neccessary...why couldn't she sit quietly on a pool chair out of view of others?

I don't like the attitude of "I'm a mother, its a beautiful thing so I get to do whatever I want and people who say anything about it are assholes..." anymore than I dislike the attitude of "Feed your kid in the dirty bathroom because I'm offended by the slightest peek of flesh."

It seems like common sense on both sides of the debate is the simplest solution.

i was at a wedding...maid of honour....ya right....sits down whips out her mellon at the table and covers the kids face

 

[dilloduck]

i was at a wedding...maid of honour....ya right....sits down whips out her mellon at the table and covers the kids face

that'll show ya---respect women or they'll breastfeed at you in a place you won't like !

 

[manu1959]

that'll show ya---respect women or they'll breastfeed at you in a place you won't like !

so anyway, i knew this girl from school and me and a buddy are just trans fixed by her other mellon which jumped at as well.....she gets all indignate at us a says " what are you staring at?"....my buddy says your gigantic titties....

i fell over backward just crying.....

 

[Gem]

ROFL. Good for your friend.