Is it fair to talk "sexy and seductive" with no intention of "putting out"?

[Bonzi]

you? or men?
Maybe ask if the woman can strip as you take care of things yourself - happy medium....

No just me.

I think my point is that I understand why a woman would use her charms to get something from a guy, in particular an easy to manipulate guy, without any real desire to have a relationship with them (or even just hook up), but it doesn't mean I had to like it.

I was a nerdy, socially awkward Engineering student, that should give you enough background.

Women like to be desired.
Maybe some want monetary things - I was never like that.....
I just wanted genuine interest or lust.....

Why do you want genuine interest or lust? Why do you have such a strong need to be desired?

What else is there in a relationship?
Do you want someone passively interested in you just to get their rocks off?
I don't.
Men? Maybe so - maybe it's just about physical release/relief.
I can do that myself - quite well I might add.

Ah. I see.


So all of these questions are hypothetical, eh?


Well. . . . I guess you do what you want really. If you act in such a manner, you just reinforce the worn out stereo type the American men have of their women, that they are disengenious in their behavior.

Your original question was,
Is it fair to talk "sexy and seductive" with no intention of "putting out"?

And then you follow up with the question to me, "What else is there in a relationship?"

With just a few questions posed to you, I have demonstrated to the board that you are not of sound mind, you are manipulative, dishonest, and don't really know what you want. You might be insecure, emotionally needy, and any man that is your victim will rue the day he started tangling with you. You are the typical American woman that props up the stereo-type that men have of women here in this nation. Self-absorbed, selfish, entitled, etc. You wouldn't know what unconditional, giving, innocent love is, and what a "relationship" was if it fell into your lap tomorrow. I'm sure you've had a few you've let slip through your grasp. Poor lonely girl.

But other than that I'm a great girl, right?

 

[Pogo]

you? or men?
Maybe ask if the woman can strip as you take care of things yourself - happy medium....

No just me.

I think my point is that I understand why a woman would use her charms to get something from a guy, in particular an easy to manipulate guy, without any real desire to have a relationship with them (or even just hook up), but it doesn't mean I had to like it.

I was a nerdy, socially awkward Engineering student, that should give you enough background.

Women like to be desired.
Maybe some want monetary things - I was never like that.....
I just wanted genuine interest or lust.....

Why do you want genuine interest or lust? Why do you have such a strong need to be desired?

What else is there in a relationship?
Do you want someone passively interested in you just to get their rocks off?
I don't.
Men? Maybe so - maybe it's just about physical release/relief.
I can do that myself - quite well I might add.

Ah. I see.


So all of these questions are hypothetical, eh?


Well. . . . I guess you do what you want really. If you act in such a manner, you just reinforce the worn out stereo type the American men have of their women, that they are disengenious in their behavior.

Your original question was,
Is it fair to talk "sexy and seductive" with no intention of "putting out"?

And then you follow up with the question to me, "What else is there in a relationship?"

With just a few questions posed to you, I have demonstrated to the board that you are not of sound mind, you are manipulative, dishonest, and don't really know what you want. You might be insecure, emotionally needy, and any man that is your victim will rue the day he started tangling with you. You are the typical American woman that props up the stereo-type that men have of women here in this nation. Self-absorbed, selfish, entitled, etc. You wouldn't know what unconditional, giving, innocent love is, and what a "relationship" was if it fell into your lap tomorrow. I'm sure you've had a few you've let slip through your grasp. Poor lonely girl.

Or............... maybe you just can't read her.

 

[Bonzi]

ON LINE - I mean sexy talk and teasing.

Relationship? totally different. I'm married, so that is off the table.
Any discussion of relationship would require me to look at past failures or potential/possible future ones.

People know what they want/need when they find it. To quote a favorite movie of mine (Fools Rush In)

"You're everything I never knew I always needed in a woman".

 

[Bonzi]

You are the typical American woman

now THAT is something I have NEVER been called!

 

[martybegan]

ON LINE - I mean sexy talk and teasing.

Relationship? totally different. I'm married, so that is off the table.
Any discussion of relationship would require me to look at past failures or potential/possible future ones.

People know what they want/need when they find it. To quote a favorite movie of mine (Fools Rush In)

"You're everything I never knew I always needed in a woman".

never online, because "23/f/tee-hee" is usually "51/m/yuck".

 

[Zander]

Is it fun?
Mean?
Fair?

What are your thoughts on teasing and playing just for fun - with no follow through?

I think it is perfectly acceptable. I've had great sex with women who were "just talking" at first ....then once I started talking back, well, things got a helluva lot more interesting.
It's all part of the dance......

 

[iamwhatiseem]

.... and I always thought men like competition and a challenge....
word of advice: women like to be fought for.

Nah...leave that for the beta males. They can fight and compete all they want.
Women like confidence, self-surety and a man that has it together more than anything.
Men like that don't fight and fret over women. Don't need to.

Admittedly, it's best when the desire is mutual and very natural......
Sometime the teasing back and forth shows that ......

Oh I never said no mutual teasing. That would be hell yeah.
What I meant is if I am showing interest, and she switches attention to another man...she is gone to me. I am competitive in many things, but certainly not for a woman. Again, let the beta clowns and losers play that game.
And while they are wishful thinking and acting like juvenile clowns - I am the one that leaves with a woman...it is her choice whether that woman is her or not.

 

[MisterBeale]

ON LINE - I mean sexy talk and teasing.

Relationship? totally different. I'm married, so that is off the table.
Any discussion of relationship would require me to look at past failures or potential/possible future ones.

People know what they want/need when they find it. To quote a favorite movie of mine (Fools Rush In)

"You're everything I never knew I always needed in a woman".

Oh wow. See, now that totally changes everything.

You just want someone to tell you it's okay to flirt and sexy talk w/ someone on-line.

You feel guilty, and you rightly you should. You're subconscious is telling you that you are doing something nasty. You conscious mind knows it will never go any further, but it is still a betrayal of your marriage.


You want fellow posters and friends here to tell you that your little hobby is morally and ethically okay, because it gives you joy.



Ahhh.. . . . things become clear.



I have news for you. Even if the whole damn internet told you what you are doing is just fine, unless your partner tells you it is, and reads your texts and conversations, it probably isn't. In fact, the mere fact that you need to look outside your marriage for sexy and stimulating conversation probably should tell you something.

Looks like that "Woman's Guide" meme I posted was pretty spot on, eh?

 

[MisterBeale]

Does the person you are flirting with know you are married? If they do, then they are slime as well.

 

[Bonzi]

ON LINE - I mean sexy talk and teasing.

Relationship? totally different. I'm married, so that is off the table.
Any discussion of relationship would require me to look at past failures or potential/possible future ones.

People know what they want/need when they find it. To quote a favorite movie of mine (Fools Rush In)

"You're everything I never knew I always needed in a woman".

Oh wow. See, now that totally changes everything.

You just want someone to tell you it's okay to flirt and sexy talk w/ someone on-line.

You feel guilty, and you rightly you should. You're subconscious is telling you that you are doing something nasty. You conscious mind knows it will never go any further, but it is still a betrayal of your marriage.


You want fellow posters and friends here to tell you that your little hobby is morally and ethically okay, because it gives you joy.



Ahhh.. . . . things become clear.



I have news for you. Even if the whole damn internet told you what you are doing is just fine, unless your partner tells you it is, and reads your texts and conversations, it probably isn't. In fact, the mere fact that you need to look outside your marriage for sexy and stimulating conversation probably should tell you something.

Looks like that "Woman's Guide" meme I posted was pretty spot on, eh?

I haven't ready that... will have to check it out......
Nah, I've always been like this.... psychobabble above aside....

 

[Pogo]

Is it fun?
Mean?
Fair?

What are your thoughts on teasing and playing just for fun - with no follow through?

I think it is perfectly acceptable. I've had great sex with women who were "just talking" at first ....then once I started talking back, well, things got a helluva lot more interesting.
It's all part of the dance......

Yup, I have too. The most memorable first showed up on my screen to try to put me in my place -- or so she thought. The dance did quite a pirouette after that....

 

[Bonzi]

Does the person you are flirting with know you are married? If they do, then they are slime as well.

I'm not discriminatory. I flirt (a little, not major flirting) with many on here - more like suggestive conversation.
I don't feel I'm doing anything wrong.
Just curious about people's opinions -
I have to answer to one person only. God.
What my husband and I do and/or agree on is between us.

 

[Pogo]

Does the person you are flirting with know you are married? If they do, then they are slime as well.

never online, because "23/f/tee-hee" is usually "51/m/yuck".

Summa y'all don't seen to get the point of "fantasy".

You see, when you accept the fact that this disembodied entity on your screen is one that you're (probably) never going to cross paths with, all that stuff like appearance becomes irrelevant. Because it's only relevant in the real world.

And that opens up all kinds of possibilities....

In other words the imaginary doesn't require material manifestation. You can appreciate, for example, a joke about something mundane (taxes, drunk driving, whatever), without having had that same experience yourself or even approving of it.

 

[Michelle420]

Is it fun?
Mean?
Fair?

What are your thoughts on teasing and playing just for fun - with no follow through?

yeah

 

[iamwhatiseem]

Summa y'all don't seen to get the point of "fantasy".

You see, when you accept the fact that this disembodied entity on your screen is one that you're (probably) never going to cross paths with, all that stuff like appearance becomes irrelevant. Because it's only relevant in the real world...

Oh I don't know.
She would have to send a pic or nothing. And of course the pic has to show validity that it is her.
I would never talk about such things to someone that I am not 100% sure they are exactly what they say they are.

 

[Iceweasel]

How is it not dishonest?

if someone is talking sexy to you, there is a reason.
most likely not to leave you with blue balls......
they want to see how badly they can make you want them
if you are aggressive and confident, and allow yourself to take control, I give you a 90% chance success rate...

You said 'with no intention of putting out'. Did you forget?

No original intention... things can change.... depending on the man...

Many people have gone to an overnight convention with "no intention" of having an affair, yet, it happens.....

You are a moving target. You said flirting with no intention of putting out so she would be deceptive and playing a game.

No, flirting for fun, but open to more if it progresses that way.
Do you always have to have an "end game"?

Flirting for fun with no future intentions is game playing no matter how you spin it. It's wrong, immature and selfish.

 

[martybegan]

Does the person you are flirting with know you are married? If they do, then they are slime as well.

never online, because "23/f/tee-hee" is usually "51/m/yuck".

Summa y'all don't seen to get the point of "fantasy".

You see, when you accept the fact that this disembodied entity on your screen is one that you're (probably) never going to cross paths with, all that stuff like appearance becomes irrelevant. Because it's only relevant in the real world.

And that opens up all kinds of possibilities....

In other words the imaginary doesn't require material manifestation. You can appreciate, for example, a joke about something mundane (taxes, drunk driving, whatever), without having had that same experience yourself or even approving of it.

Jokes and banter are one thing, Flirting, and other things?

Sorry, but when it comes to not knowing if the person on the other side is the real deal...

 

[Iceweasel]

.... and I always thought men like competition and a challenge....
word of advice: women like to be fought for.

I think any guy over 14 knows that. The thing is you are making yourself a prize for the most aggressive guy. That might satisfy your ego but it's unlikely you will end up with the best match. So many women complain about the guy they end up with but had their priorities all screwed up to begin with. If your ego needs constant validation you will become disappointed when the guy gets tired of playing Conan the conquerer.

 

[Bonzi]

Summa y'all don't seen to get the point of "fantasy".

You see, when you accept the fact that this disembodied entity on your screen is one that you're (probably) never going to cross paths with, all that stuff like appearance becomes irrelevant. Because it's only relevant in the real world...

Oh I don't know.
She would have to send a pic or nothing. And of course the pic has to show validity that it is her.
I would never talk about such things to someone that I am not 100% sure they are exactly what they say they are.

You are talking relationship.
Everyone has a right to their own "rules".
I guess my question was really "If you flirt, in YOUR opinion, should you NOT even do so unless you are slightly or possibility interested in "more"? ... be it just sex or a relationship....

 

[Bonzi]

You could flirt around then someone say something that's a total turn off and then shut down mode....