make your own "the most interesting man in the world" bits

[shart_attack]

He only needs to watch a Stanley Kubrick film once to grasp its depth.

 

[shart_attack]

He has never lost a dog.

 

[shart_attack]

When he joined the US Army, they simply encouraged him to "Be all that he is".

 

[shart_attack]

He grew up in The American South — and spoke indigenous Yankee.

 

[shart_attack]

He can drive from New York City to Los Angeles in a '57 Chevy — on a single tank of gas.

 

[shart_attack]

The sandwiches he gets from Subway always have more than enough meat.

 

[shart_attack]

He has never made a "rough draft".

 

[shart_attack]

His teeth brush themselves.

 

[shart_attack]

Though not himself a Freemason, they freely give him "the secret handshake".

 

[shart_attack]

He has never made a "u-turn".

 

[Intolerant]

His girlfriends never have a headache.

 

[shart_attack]

He has never made a "bad USMB thread".

 

[shart_attack]

When he catches fish, they have already been de-scaled.

 

[shart_attack]

As a child, he routinely left money for the Tooth Fairy.

 

[shart_attack]

Poetry interprets HIM.

 

[shart_attack]

He has never seen a bad Jim Carrey film.

 

[shart_attack]

He frequently drafts off semi trucks loaded with gravel rolling down the highway — and throws rocks at THEM.

 

[Intolerant]

When he drives a new car off the lot, it increases in value.

 

[shart_attack]

He once bought a ton of stock in a trucking company — and made a billion dollars off it.

 

[shart_attack]

He has never found a kink in his garden hose.