Man Sends Wife Spreadsheet Of All Her Excuses Not To Have Sex

[MaxGrit]

That is the polite term. Personally, I think asshole works better.

These are the same men who think all feminists are frigid man-haters. And any woman who turns down their bumbling sexual advances are lesbians.

Oh, and any woman who thinks for herself and doesn't act the way they think she should act is a frigid, lesbian, feminist.

Lol. That is a lot of frigid lesbian feminists.

Nah, more like a handful of frigid lesbian feminists and a lot of women who don't suffer fools.

Think from the guy's perspective.

Frigid man hating lesbian feminists are so numerous that he meets them everywhere he goes.

Lol.

 

[daws101]

YES IT IS just more pretentious.

No, it's not. Are you stupid?

To him, "pretentious" is another word for "more educated and better-mannered than I am".

don't you wish...as I stated before, I was invited in ..we're you...?
THE sca is the very definition of pretentious

pre·ten·tious
[ pri ténshəss ]


1.self-important and affected: acting as though more important or special than is warranted, or appearing to have an unrealistically high self-image
2.made to look or sound important: intended to seem to have a special quality or significance, but often seeming forced or overly clever
3.ostentatious: extravagantly and consciously showy or glamorous

 

[Jarlaxle]

It's freaking tough to schedule a medieval war in the US, FYI. You need a place and time that won't be too hot in the daytime, or too cold in the nights. Fighters get incredibly overheated and sweaty in armor all day, but no one wants to freeze to death in their tents at night.

Most camping events in my area take place in winter, and/or in the mountains. And we all own a lot of wool cloaks.

Don't see the big deal about cool nights...then again, I'm the dude riding a motorcycle in an unlined mesh jacket at 60 degrees.

I'm a desert dweller, and have been my entire life. I have a great deal of tolerance for 100+ degree heat, but very little for being cold.

Fortunately, enough mead and the right company in your tent makes all the difference.

Wait...aren't desert nights usually rather cold?

 

[Cecilie1200]

No, it's not. Are you stupid?

To him, "pretentious" is another word for "more educated and better-mannered than I am".

don't you wish...as I stated before, I was invited in ..we're you...?
THE sca is the very definition of pretentious

pre·ten·tious
[ pri ténshəss ]


1.self-important and affected: acting as though more important or special than is warranted, or appearing to have an unrealistically high self-image
2.made to look or sound important: intended to seem to have a special quality or significance, but often seeming forced or overly clever
3.ostentatious: extravagantly and consciously showy or glamorous

"Invited in". ROFL

Dimwit, the SCA is not even vaguely a closed, private club. They will - and do - invite literally anyone who stands still and looks at them for more than five seconds to join. Our barony actually has officers whose job description includes pouncing on people in the park where we have fighter practice who stop to look at us and talking them into joining the group. Being "invited to join" means nothing more than that you were in the right place at the right time and had a pulse.

And thank you for that utterly irrelevant and unnecessary definition. It changes nothing about the fact that you apply the word to anyone who makes you aware of your inadequacy, which would probably include most bipeds.

If your goal was to convince me not to consider you beneath the effort of pissing on, I should warn you that your best bet in that regard is to stop talking.

 

[Cecilie1200]

Don't see the big deal about cool nights...then again, I'm the dude riding a motorcycle in an unlined mesh jacket at 60 degrees.

I'm a desert dweller, and have been my entire life. I have a great deal of tolerance for 100+ degree heat, but very little for being cold.

Fortunately, enough mead and the right company in your tent makes all the difference.

Wait...aren't desert nights usually rather cold?

In Arizona? No, not so much. Deserts, generally speaking, are as hot as they are from lack of moisture. Once the sun goes away, the dry air and ground release whatever heat they had very quickly, where an increase in the moisture of both would retain it longer.

The Sonoran Desert, however, is the only ecosystem in the world of its type. Although we are dry enough year-round to qualify as a desert, we are one of the wettest deserts in the world, with two brief rainy seasons every year. We also have a considerable water supply in underground aquifers. This allows us to support more plant and wildlife than one would normally expect in a desert - albeit of the scrubby, thorny, doesn't-need-much-water type - and allows the air and hardpacked dirt to hold heat much longer after sundown.

However, in the winter - particularly in the more mountainous areas of the state - the nights can be miserably cold by the standards of Arizonans.

 

[LiberalMedia]

After reading the entirety of this thread, I can come to only one conclusion: To ensure the continued survival of the humyn race, it has become necessary to ban men.

 

[WinterBorn]

After reading the entirety of this thread, I can come to only one conclusion: To ensure the continued survival of the humyn race, it has become necessary to ban men.

And have to move your own furniture and kill your own spiders?? Perish the thought!!

 

[LiberalMedia]

After reading the entirety of this thread, I can come to only one conclusion: To ensure the continued survival of the humyn race, it has become necessary to ban men.

And have to move your own furniture

We'll hyre movers.

and kill your own spiders??

Under the Wyrld-Wyde Fymynyst Matriarchy established after the permanent outlawing of manpigs, spydyrs will be considered equal creatures to humyns, and thus kyllyng them will be a jailable offense. Because no womyn would ever commit as unsophisticated an act as myrdyr, this won't even be an issue.

 

[Jarlaxle]

Don't remember the last woman mover I saw! (Honestly, not sure I have EVER seen one.)

You'll also have to change your own tires, maintain your own vehicles, pour your own concrete, and load your own lumber.

 

[LiberalMedia]

Don't remember the last woman mover I saw! (Honestly, not sure I have EVER seen one.)

You'll also have to change your own tires, maintain your own vehicles, pour your own concrete, and load your own lumber.

We can do all of this and more, manpig. You'll see.

Oh wait, no you won't, because you'll be banned. Good riddance.

 

[Jarlaxle]

OK, here's a simple test, something I did regularly for years: can you lift a mounted truck tire (~85lbs) over your head unassisted?

We both know that, for the vast majority of women, the answer is "no".

 

[Slyhunter]

OK, here's a simple test, something I did regularly for years: can you lift a mounted truck tire (~85lbs) over your head unassisted?

We both know that, for the vast majority of women, the answer is "no".

Neither can I and I'm not a women.

 

[Cecilie1200]

Don't remember the last woman mover I saw! (Honestly, not sure I have EVER seen one.)

You'll also have to change your own tires, maintain your own vehicles, pour your own concrete, and load your own lumber.

We can do all of this and more, manpig. You'll see.

Oh wait, no you won't, because you'll be banned. Good riddance.

Can? Sure. Going to? Fuck that, Ape Bitch. You wanna butch around like that, you just go on with your hairy self. I sincerely doubt you were in danger of much male company, anyway. Leave me out of it, and you and your Carpetmuncher SWAT Team don't even THINK about bothering my pets. I'll give them up when I'm dead, and maybe not then.

 

[Cecilie1200]

OK, here's a simple test, something I did regularly for years: can you lift a mounted truck tire (~85lbs) over your head unassisted?

We both know that, for the vast majority of women, the answer is "no".

If God had meant for me to do my own vehicle maintenance, He would not have invented men and given me boobs.

Come to think of it, under that theory, there are a LOT of things God never meant for me to do.

 

[Jarlaxle]

OK, here's a simple test, something I did regularly for years: can you lift a mounted truck tire (~85lbs) over your head unassisted?

We both know that, for the vast majority of women, the answer is "no".

If God had meant for me to do my own vehicle maintenance, He would not have invented men and given me boobs.

Come to think of it, under that theory, there are a LOT of things God never meant for me to do.

My wife turns her own wrenches, drives a Buick Grand National, and worked as a tow truck driver.

 

[WinterBorn]

OK, here's a simple test, something I did regularly for years: can you lift a mounted truck tire (~85lbs) over your head unassisted?

We both know that, for the vast majority of women, the answer is "no".

If God had meant for me to do my own vehicle maintenance, He would not have invented men and given me boobs.

Come to think of it, under that theory, there are a LOT of things God never meant for me to do.

"If God had meant for me to do my own vehicle maintenance, He would not have invented men and given me boobs."

That may be the best line ever!

 

[Toro]

I can't remember who here at USMB exactly said it - it may have been IceWeasel - but he had the best quote, which went something like this: "For a woman to get a man aroused, its easy, drop your bathrobe. Getting a woman aroused for a man is like flying a 747 upside down through the Grand Canyon."

 

[Cecilie1200]

OK, here's a simple test, something I did regularly for years: can you lift a mounted truck tire (~85lbs) over your head unassisted?

We both know that, for the vast majority of women, the answer is "no".

If God had meant for me to do my own vehicle maintenance, He would not have invented men and given me boobs.

Come to think of it, under that theory, there are a LOT of things God never meant for me to do.

"If God had meant for me to do my own vehicle maintenance, He would not have invented men and given me boobs."

That may be the best line ever!

Why, thank you. I actually use this for any number of dirty, messy, physically-difficult jobs. So far, I have not encountered any straight man who hears it and doesn't glance down at my chest, nod, and say, "Good point". And then go do what I wanted done, which is the point.

 

[Cecilie1200]

OK, here's a simple test, something I did regularly for years: can you lift a mounted truck tire (~85lbs) over your head unassisted?

We both know that, for the vast majority of women, the answer is "no".

If God had meant for me to do my own vehicle maintenance, He would not have invented men and given me boobs.

Come to think of it, under that theory, there are a LOT of things God never meant for me to do.

My wife turns her own wrenches, drives a Buick Grand National, and worked as a tow truck driver.

I used to be an OTR truck driver. I'm fully capable of doing vehicle inspections, chaining the truck tires for snow, and adjusting my own trailer tandems. Doesn't mean I ever DID it as long as there was a male anywhere in the vicinity. And no, I never asked for help, but I'll be damned if I'm stupid enough to turn it down when it's offered.

 

[daws101]

To him, "pretentious" is another word for "more educated and better-mannered than I am".

don't you wish...as I stated before, I was invited in ..we're you...?
THE sca is the very definition of pretentious

pre·ten·tious
[ pri ténshəss ]


1.self-important and affected: acting as though more important or special than is warranted, or appearing to have an unrealistically high self-image
2.made to look or sound important: intended to seem to have a special quality or significance, but often seeming forced or overly clever
3.ostentatious: extravagantly and consciously showy or glamorous

"Invited in". ROFL

Dimwit, the SCA is not even vaguely a closed, private club. They will - and do - invite literally anyone who stands still and looks at them for more than five seconds to join. Our barony actually has officers whose job description includes pouncing on people in the park where we have fighter practice who stop to look at us and talking them into joining the group. Being "invited to join" means nothing more than that you were in the right place at the right time and had a pulse.

And thank you for that utterly irrelevant and unnecessary definition. It changes nothing about the fact that you apply the word to anyone who makes you aware of your inadequacy, which would probably include most bipeds.

If your goal was to convince me not to consider you beneath the effort of pissing on, I should warn you that your best bet in that regard is to stop talking.

yep just like I thought, pretentious and wrong!