MrG has passed.

I sold his car yesterday. Can't drive two cars. Can't afford it. So now even that is gone. He is disappearing. 37 years and all I have left are his ashes, his watch and his ring. And this hole in my heart.
Those are just things. Don't let things take the place of who he was, what he was, and what he gave you. Memories are more powerful than things.

Make a personal video for yourself. Remind yourself what he is to you. What he did for you. How much he loved you. His favorite things, favorite places, favorite dates with you. Show your favorite shirt of his, where you like to sit together, the places you guys went together.
Everything you want to remember, put it in your video. Nobody has to see it but you.
 
Wore myself out yesterday. That was the worst night so far. Hopefully, the last. Doubtful, but hopeful.

Thanks for letting me open myself up here and pour it all out. That helps, too.

I'm not really alone after all. I have this place and the people in it. Ears. Just having someone to listen without having to hide my despair and "stay strong". As a friend said to me this morning "You have dealt with a lot in the past 6-7 years....so The Lord must think you are able to deal with these horrendous challenges and only He knows why He chose you to do it. That knowledge will come in time, of what your purpose is. Yes, "stay strong" because you are, and this is just another painful experience you will conquer although it is a difficult one".

So...although I fall apart, y'all pick me back up again, dust me off, wipe my face, and give support and drag me back to my feet. Thank you.
 
Gracie don't drink it's really not worth it. It's fun at first and it numbs pain but not forever. I have the same email and phone number. I'm giving up social media for Lent (40 days) starting ash weds. SO you can reach out to me I will be there as best I can and if its not really helpful no worries. These are hard times that's why we gotta support each other as human beings.

PM me before weds if you need my info again and want it but no pressure either.
 
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Hello, i hope you are feeling better Gracie ?
No. I haven't been eating. Lost more weight. Sick. Either its a stomach bug or an ulcer or something else. I have to get myself back together again because I promised Dennis I would put him in the ocean at home. That is a 6 hour drive from here. And his ashes are very heavy. How I can get him across the sand which is a long distance, to the rocks where the surf breaks on slippery rocks, is something I dread doing but I promised. So I have to get well soon, because I want to do it before summer sets in and I think its going to be an early summer. I will ask Anne to go with me. If she can't, then I go alone. I will not spend the night in Morro Bay because of the memories. I will probably stay in Cayucos or Cambria in a motel on the beach so I can hear the waves one last time, then head out early the next morning to return "home", which is not my home or our home and never has been. So home he goes, as he wished.

This is where I plan to scatter his ashes in the waves.

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No. I haven't been eating. Lost more weight. Sick. Either its a stomach bug or an ulcer or something else. I have to get myself back together again because I promised Dennis I would put him in the ocean at home. That is a 6 hour drive from here. And his ashes are very heavy. How I can get him across the sand which is a long distance, to the rocks where the surf breaks on slippery rocks, is something I dread doing but I promised. So I have to get well soon, because I want to do it before summer sets in and I think its going to be an early summer. I will ask Anne to go with me. If she can't, then I go alone. I will not spend the night in Morro Bay because of the memories. I will probably stay in Cayucos or Cambria in a motel on the beach so I can hear the waves one last time, then head out early the next morning to return "home", which is not my home or our home and never has been. So home he goes, as he wished.

This is where I plan to scatter his ashes in the waves.

View attachment 610503

View attachment 610506
Hello Gracie, you should go see your doctor so he could help you get better ?
They killed him. And there is not a damn thing I can do about it. He didn't have covid. But he got the Moderna shots. Two of them. He was fine before those damn jabs. So...he was murdered in my opinion.

I’m sorry Gracie but I understand what you’re saying around me some people have more or less serious health problems since they were vaccinated but once they see a doctor the vaccination is never mentioned as being the cause.
 
No. I haven't been eating. Lost more weight. Sick. Either its a stomach bug or an ulcer or something else. I have to get myself back together again because I promised Dennis I would put him in the ocean at home. That is a 6 hour drive from here. And his ashes are very heavy. How I can get him across the sand which is a long distance, to the rocks where the surf breaks on slippery rocks, is something I dread doing but I promised. So I have to get well soon, because I want to do it before summer sets in and I think its going to be an early summer. I will ask Anne to go with me. If she can't, then I go alone. I will not spend the night in Morro Bay because of the memories. I will probably stay in Cayucos or Cambria in a motel on the beach so I can hear the waves one last time, then head out early the next morning to return "home", which is not my home or our home and never has been. So home he goes, as he wished.

This is where I plan to scatter his ashes in the waves.

View attachment 610503

View attachment 610506
As She wished I took a 4 day drive to the Grand Canyon and spread Mrs. O's ashes. Been back to visit once. I doubt I'll make that drive again though I'd like to.
 
No. I haven't been eating. Lost more weight. Sick. Either its a stomach bug or an ulcer or something else. I have to get myself back together again because I promised Dennis I would put him in the ocean at home. That is a 6 hour drive from here. And his ashes are very heavy. How I can get him across the sand which is a long distance, to the rocks where the surf breaks on slippery rocks, is something I dread doing but I promised. So I have to get well soon, because I want to do it before summer sets in and I think its going to be an early summer. I will ask Anne to go with me. If she can't, then I go alone. I will not spend the night in Morro Bay because of the memories. I will probably stay in Cayucos or Cambria in a motel on the beach so I can hear the waves one last time, then head out early the next morning to return "home", which is not my home or our home and never has been. So home he goes, as he wished.

This is where I plan to scatter his ashes in the waves.

View attachment 610503

View attachment 610506
Please keep us updated Gracie and I really hope that Anne goes with you. That coast and setting….so beautifully perfect, but boy do those ragged rocks look just like you described. Make sure to find the best path possible to avoid the slippery rocks altogether. I was going to suggest using a wagon that goes over sand, but this doesn’t look to be an area where that would work whatsoever. Maybe find another way to make it safe for you, as he would want. Know that you’re in my thoughts and may your strength and wellness return soon. Rest for now until better sweetie.
 
.

Looks like we lost another great guy, and I am truly sorry to hear that.
Wish I could do more for you.
Hang In There Gracie!

.
 
I am so sorry. It is really quite soothing to a wounded soul to have a loved one's ashes scattered in the ocean. You can almost hear them whisper to you in the sound of the tide.
 
You are wrong my friend. You have memories, many of them good ones. More important than stuff.
Saveliberty, yes she does. My dearest husband died 6 years ago. I still have special memories of him that remind me he was my best friend for 44 years in life and 6 more following his life on earth. It's as though he meant for me to have memories that would carry me until I join him in another 25 years, possibly. Centanarians run in earlier generations in my family, and two of my grandmothers were over 95, one being close to the 100 mark or one over. The other was around 98 years. They never smoked or chewed. I know why. I'm allergic to tobacco, and I got the gene from them. By the way, Save, it's good to see ya. Hope you're back more often. :thup:

Gracie, I hope you have as many good memories as I had. You're doing better than me my first few weeks. I hardly remember the two years after he died. I just sewed a lot of charity quilts for the local pregnancy center in the nearest town. Haven't sewn any for a couple of years, well maybe one or two, but nothing to write home about. *sigh*
May God hold you in the palm of his hand, and all those who mourn at USMB. :huddle:
 
Wore myself out yesterday. That was the worst night so far. Hopefully, the last. Doubtful, but hopeful.

Thanks for letting me open myself up here and pour it all out. That helps, too.

I'm not really alone after all. I have this place and the people in it. Ears. Just having someone to listen without having to hide my despair and "stay strong". As a friend said to me this morning "You have dealt with a lot in the past 6-7 years....so The Lord must think you are able to deal with these horrendous challenges and only He knows why He chose you to do it. That knowledge will come in time, of what your purpose is. Yes, "stay strong" because you are, and this is just another painful experience you will conquer although it is a difficult one".

So...although I fall apart, y'all pick me back up again, dust me off, wipe my face, and give support and drag me back to my feet. Thank you.
You are loved, Gracie. When you get your art hobbies going again I wanna see a lotta pictures of your efforts, because I love the visual pleasures you've shown in the past. Your stuff is always so elegant and beautiful. Nobody's work I've ever seen is like yours. I hope you make yourself a goal to make 25 things and show it in a library or artist guild nearby. We would definitely like to see the pictures first. lol Don't mind me. If it feels better to take a nap, you just do what you feel like when you feel like it. More group hugs: :huddle:
 

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