My Catholic faith has become a liability -- where do I dump it?

[FA_Q2]

How can I make myself STOP being a Catholic?

I am divorced.

That means if I ever have a girlfriend I am committing adultery.

If I get married I am denied the Eucharist, and then I go to hell.

I could get an annulment, but then I have to trash talk my ex-wife and then say we never really got married which I am unwilling to do.

Become an Episcopalian.

Catholic Lite®....All the fun, half the guilt.

BTW, I'm not joking.

The Episcopal Church is a "bridge" Church between the Catholics and the Protestants. It is an admixture of both religions.

I looked into the Episcopalians.

They don't really believe -- even in their own religion.

What is more important than what you believe?

^ This.

I believe in Catholicism.

I can't escape the trap of believing in Catholicism.

I am bitter because of what I must believe as a Catholic, starting with the fact that my mother is in hell.

And if I move on with my life and have a girlfriend or a wife, I go to hell too.

Being untrue to yourself will bring true, long lasting bitterness. IMHO, bearing your own cross will allow you to come through in the end and make you far stronger.

 

[Blackrook]

How can I make myself STOP being a Catholic?

I am divorced.

That means if I ever have a girlfriend I am committing adultery.

If I get married I am denied the Eucharist, and then I go to hell.

I could get an annulment, but then I have to trash talk my ex-wife and then say we never really got married which I am unwilling to do.

As long as you confess your sins and do some Hail Mary's you can go out and hire a hooker. It is only a permanent black mark if you don't tell your priest about your good times.

I can't live like that.

It's like the story of the virgins at the wedding feast.

I'd be the virgin without any oil to refill my lantern.

The wedding would start and I'd be off at the shop getting more oil.

The groom would come, the doors would be closed, and I'd be locked out.

The groom would say to me: "I do not know you."

 

[Sunsettommy]

How can I make myself STOP being a Catholic?

I am divorced.

That means if I ever have a girlfriend I am committing adultery.

If I get married I am denied the Eucharist, and then I go to hell.

I could get an annulment, but then I have to trash talk my ex-wife and then say we never really got married which I am unwilling to do.

Why not drop religion completely? I did 30 years ago, been happier for it.

It's hard to explain faith to someone who doesn't have it.

Imagine you believe something so strongly that you have no doubt it's true.

Like the sun is in the sky, that's how sure you are it's true.

You can't just drop a faith like that, or wish it away.

I was a DEACON in the church at one time, I knew quite a lot about religions and teachings, was respected for it at the time.

The very fact that YOU are in a pickle is BECAUSE you have a religion, it causes you internal stress.

You write this torment:

"How can I make myself STOP being a Catholic?

I am divorced.

That means if I ever have a girlfriend I am committing adultery.

If I get married I am denied the Eucharist, and then I go to hell.

I could get an annulment, but then I have to trash talk my ex-wife and then say we never really got married which I am unwilling to do."

===

You have to decide to live in a SECULAR lifestyle, OR live Fully in a faith based lifestyle, you can't go 50%-%50%, that is what YOU have to resolve.

You are trying to live in both worlds, never going to work.

 

[Picaro]

You are trying to live in both worlds, never going to work.

Pretty much sums it up.

 

[Dekster]

How can I make myself STOP being a Catholic?

I am divorced.

That means if I ever have a girlfriend I am committing adultery.

If I get married I am denied the Eucharist, and then I go to hell.

I could get an annulment, but then I have to trash talk my ex-wife and then say we never really got married which I am unwilling to do.

As long as you confess your sins and do some Hail Mary's you can go out and hire a hooker. It is only a permanent black mark if you don't tell your priest about your good times.

I can't live like that.

It's like the story of the virgins at the wedding feast.

I'd be the virgin without any oil to refill my lantern.

The wedding would start and I'd be off at the shop getting more oil.

The groom would come, the doors would be closed, and I'd be locked out.

The groom would say to me: "I do not know you."

Okay. Well get over your ex-wife and divorce which is what this is really all about and stop blaming the Church for your failed marriage.


Oh, and bang a prostitute and tell your priest all about it.

 

[emilynghiem]

How can I make myself STOP being a Catholic?

I am divorced.

That means if I ever have a girlfriend I am committing adultery.

If I get married I am denied the Eucharist, and then I go to hell.

I could get an annulment, but then I have to trash talk my ex-wife and then say we never really got married which I am unwilling to do.

Dear Blackrook
Keep the best of Catholic traditions and upbringing and be proud of it.
It has served you well, to the best of its ability.
The parts that are flawed, forgive those.
EVERY system has its ups and downs, strengths and weaknesses.
Triumphs and Tragedies.

There is no person or group that is going to be perfect.
There will always be that fatal flaw in each that is going to
downright CONTRADICT itself. Such is life.

Embrace the parts you know to be universally true.
The other parts, just forgive or let go and understand
that is part of the mix. Hand it all over to God in prayer,
and ask to keep the real plans and purpose you are meant to work with.

Don't worry about the rest.
The part that REALLY matters will stay with you always.
The rest is forgivable, and will work itself out.

Take care and keep rocking!
You have a strong conviction and ability to reason through
the worst issues with a solid sense of ethics. So you will always
establish truth that will prevail, regardless what else falls short.
Don't let those shortfalls worry you or define you!

 

[Blackrook]

How can I make myself STOP being a Catholic?

I am divorced.

That means if I ever have a girlfriend I am committing adultery.

If I get married I am denied the Eucharist, and then I go to hell.

I could get an annulment, but then I have to trash talk my ex-wife and then say we never really got married which I am unwilling to do.

Dear Blackrook
Keep the best of Catholic traditions and upbringing and be proud of it.
It has served you well, to the best of its ability.
The parts that are flawed, forgive those.
EVERY system has its ups and downs, strengths and weaknesses.
Triumphs and Tragedies.

There is no person or group that is going to be perfect.
There will always be that fatal flaw in each that is going to
downright CONTRADICT itself. Such is life.

Embrace the parts you know to be universally true.
The other parts, just forgive or let go and understand
that is part of the mix. Hand it all over to God in prayer,
and ask to keep the real plans and purpose you are meant to work with.

Don't worry about the rest.
The part that REALLY matters will stay with you always.
The rest is forgivable, and will work itself out.

Take care and keep rocking!
You have a strong conviction and ability to reason through
the worst issues with a solid sense of ethics. So you will always
establish truth that will prevail, regardless what else falls short.
Don't let those shortfalls worry you or define you!

Thank you for your kind words.

 

[Blackrook]

I would take a railroad spike in my head if it would stop me from believing in Catholicism.

 

[Blackrook]

I have nothing to replace it with, though.

I'm not a person who can decide that religion doesn't matter.

I know there's plenty of people who can do that. My grandmother was one of them. I have no idea what she believed, but it didn't seem to matter to her whether or not there was a God, heaven or hell. She just didn't care one way or another.

 

[Jackson]

I would take a railroad spike in my head if it would stop me from believing in Catholicism.

God doesn't want you to feel that way. Can you make a list of beliefs that you believe are right and good? Surely you have found some beliefs that you feel in your heart are not just and would create a miserable life for you. God is merciful and understands you heart. Once you have made your list, seek religious counsel from someone you respect and always remember God forgives.

 

[Blackrook]

I would take a railroad spike in my head if it would stop me from believing in Catholicism.

God doesn't want you to feel that way. Can you make a list of beliefs that you believe are right and good? Surely you have found some beliefs that you feel in your heart are not just and would create a miserable life for you. God is merciful and understands you heart. Once you have made your list, seek religious counsel from someone you respect and always remember God forgives.

Does God always forgive?

I'm not so sure.

What happens to unbaptized babies?

What happens to Chinese people who have never heard of the Christian God?

What happened to all the pagans who lived before Christ and never even had the chance to learn about him?

What happened to my mother, who committed suicide?

What happens to atheists who live good lives?

The more I think, the crazier I get.

 

[Blackrook]

The Catholic Church works if you can stay within the boundaries of what the Catholic Church will accept.

But what happens if you can't?

What if you are a man who is sexually attracted to other men?

The Church says, no problem, you are called to a life of chastity.

It's like there isn't a real person making up the rules, it's like a robot without any common sense is making up the rules.

I am a man who, through no fault of his own, ended up divorced.

The Church says, no problem, live the rest of your life alone.

If I say, I don't agree, I'll marry anyway, the Church says, no problem, you can still come to Mass, but you can't have the Eucharist because you are ex-communicated and when you die you go to hell.

 

[Jackson]

I would take a railroad spike in my head if it would stop me from believing in Catholicism.

God doesn't want you to feel that way. Can you make a list of beliefs that you believe are right and good? Surely you have found some beliefs that you feel in your heart are not just and would create a miserable life for you. God is merciful and understands you heart. Once you have made your list, seek religious counsel from someone you respect and always remember God forgives.

Does God always forgive?

I'm not so sure.

What happens to unbaptized babies?

What happens to Chinese people who have never heard of the Christian God?

What happened to all the pagans who lived before Christ and never even had the chance to learn about him?

What happened to my mother, who committed suicide?

What happens to atheists who live good lives?

The more I think, the crazier I get.

Someone said there are many paths up to the mountain top. I'm not so sure that a certain sect of a religious order is the only path.

Does God always forgive? I believe he knows my heart and the older I get, the more time I have had to evaluate my life, mistakes and all. I have asked for forgiveness, making sure I don't repeat the same error. I took a religion class once and they talked about all of the books of the Bible that were not chosen to be in our Bible due to Political events and beliefs. Remember those were mere mortal men who made those decisions. And churches change their dialogues as time goes on. I had a friend in my youth that couldn't believe that my family did not go to church and ate meat on Fridays.

Is God going to put me in hell for not going to church when I was young? Would God really send aborted babies to hell? We all have to decide these things for ourselves.

 

[Blackrook]

I would take a railroad spike in my head if it would stop me from believing in Catholicism.

God doesn't want you to feel that way. Can you make a list of beliefs that you believe are right and good? Surely you have found some beliefs that you feel in your heart are not just and would create a miserable life for you. God is merciful and understands you heart. Once you have made your list, seek religious counsel from someone you respect and always remember God forgives.

Does God always forgive?

I'm not so sure.

What happens to unbaptized babies?

What happens to Chinese people who have never heard of the Christian God?

What happened to all the pagans who lived before Christ and never even had the chance to learn about him?

What happened to my mother, who committed suicide?

What happens to atheists who live good lives?

The more I think, the crazier I get.

Someone said there are many paths up to the mountain top. I'm not so sure that a certain sect of a religious order is the only path.

Does God always forgive? I believe he knows my heart and the older I get, the more time I have had to evaluate my life, mistakes and all. I have asked for forgiveness, making sure I don't repeat the same error. I took a religion class once and they talked about all of the books of the Bible that were not chosen to be in our Bible due to Political events and beliefs. Remember those were mere mortal men who made those decisions. And churches change their dialogues as time goes on. I had a friend in my youth that couldn't believe that my family did not go to church and ate meat on Fridays.

Is God going to put me in hell for not going to church when I was young? Would God really send aborted babies to hell? We all have to decide these things for ourselves.

I'm going crazier and crazier.

When I was married I didn't worry about any of this stuff because it didn't impact me.

Now that I'm divorced, I'm facing two stark alternatives: the rest of my life alone or the prospect of going to hell.

I thought I could go over the Episcopalians but their church's lack of conviction on basic principles means I can't really waste my time there.

I could give up and get an annulment, but I see annulments as a modern practice of the Catholic Church as corrupt as indulgences were in the Middle Ages.

 

[Jackson]

I would take a railroad spike in my head if it would stop me from believing in Catholicism.

God doesn't want you to feel that way. Can you make a list of beliefs that you believe are right and good? Surely you have found some beliefs that you feel in your heart are not just and would create a miserable life for you. God is merciful and understands you heart. Once you have made your list, seek religious counsel from someone you respect and always remember God forgives.

Does God always forgive?

I'm not so sure.

What happens to unbaptized babies?

What happens to Chinese people who have never heard of the Christian God?

What happened to all the pagans who lived before Christ and never even had the chance to learn about him?

What happened to my mother, who committed suicide?

What happens to atheists who live good lives?

The more I think, the crazier I get.

Someone said there are many paths up to the mountain top. I'm not so sure that a certain sect of a religious order is the only path.

Does God always forgive? I believe he knows my heart and the older I get, the more time I have had to evaluate my life, mistakes and all. I have asked for forgiveness, making sure I don't repeat the same error. I took a religion class once and they talked about all of the books of the Bible that were not chosen to be in our Bible due to Political events and beliefs. Remember those were mere mortal men who made those decisions. And churches change their dialogues as time goes on. I had a friend in my youth that couldn't believe that my family did not go to church and ate meat on Fridays.

Is God going to put me in hell for not going to church when I was young? Would God really send aborted babies to hell? We all have to decide these things for ourselves.

I'm going crazier and crazier.

When I was married I didn't worry about any of this stuff because it didn't impact me.

Now that I'm divorced, I'm facing two stark alternatives: the rest of my life alone or the prospect of going to hell.

I thought I could go over the Episcopalians but their church's lack of conviction on basic principles means I can't really waste my time there.

I could give up and get an annulment, but I see annulments as a modern practice of the Catholic Church as corrupt as indulgences were in the Middle Ages.

Please forgive my ignorance, but you probably know the answer to this. I thought Catholics could remarry if the paid a tithing of sorts. Pretty expensive, but easier on your soul.

 

[Blackrook]

I would take a railroad spike in my head if it would stop me from believing in Catholicism.

God doesn't want you to feel that way. Can you make a list of beliefs that you believe are right and good? Surely you have found some beliefs that you feel in your heart are not just and would create a miserable life for you. God is merciful and understands you heart. Once you have made your list, seek religious counsel from someone you respect and always remember God forgives.

Does God always forgive?

I'm not so sure.

What happens to unbaptized babies?

What happens to Chinese people who have never heard of the Christian God?

What happened to all the pagans who lived before Christ and never even had the chance to learn about him?

What happened to my mother, who committed suicide?

What happens to atheists who live good lives?

The more I think, the crazier I get.

Someone said there are many paths up to the mountain top. I'm not so sure that a certain sect of a religious order is the only path.

Does God always forgive? I believe he knows my heart and the older I get, the more time I have had to evaluate my life, mistakes and all. I have asked for forgiveness, making sure I don't repeat the same error. I took a religion class once and they talked about all of the books of the Bible that were not chosen to be in our Bible due to Political events and beliefs. Remember those were mere mortal men who made those decisions. And churches change their dialogues as time goes on. I had a friend in my youth that couldn't believe that my family did not go to church and ate meat on Fridays.

Is God going to put me in hell for not going to church when I was young? Would God really send aborted babies to hell? We all have to decide these things for ourselves.

I'm going crazier and crazier.

When I was married I didn't worry about any of this stuff because it didn't impact me.

Now that I'm divorced, I'm facing two stark alternatives: the rest of my life alone or the prospect of going to hell.

I thought I could go over the Episcopalians but their church's lack of conviction on basic principles means I can't really waste my time there.

I could give up and get an annulment, but I see annulments as a modern practice of the Catholic Church as corrupt as indulgences were in the Middle Ages.

Please forgive my ignorance, but you probably know the answer to this. I thought Catholics could remarry if the paid a tithing of sorts. Pretty expensive, but easier on your soul.

No, you can get an annulment.

All I'd have to do is submit paperwork telling the Catholic Church that for some reason my ex-wife didn't have the right attitude when we got married so our marriage wasn't real.

It's totally fucked up, and there's no way I'm doing that to my ex-wife. She would get to read it and she would be deeply hurt if I did that to her.

 

[Jackson]

Just curious and you don't have to answer, but have you been divorced very long? Divorce is called Crazy Times. Incredible highs and incredible lows. That could make this time more dreadful.

 

[Jackson]

I would take a railroad spike in my head if it would stop me from believing in Catholicism.

God doesn't want you to feel that way. Can you make a list of beliefs that you believe are right and good? Surely you have found some beliefs that you feel in your heart are not just and would create a miserable life for you. God is merciful and understands you heart. Once you have made your list, seek religious counsel from someone you respect and always remember God forgives.

Does God always forgive?

I'm not so sure.

What happens to unbaptized babies?

What happens to Chinese people who have never heard of the Christian God?

What happened to all the pagans who lived before Christ and never even had the chance to learn about him?

What happened to my mother, who committed suicide?

What happens to atheists who live good lives?

The more I think, the crazier I get.

Someone said there are many paths up to the mountain top. I'm not so sure that a certain sect of a religious order is the only path.

Does God always forgive? I believe he knows my heart and the older I get, the more time I have had to evaluate my life, mistakes and all. I have asked for forgiveness, making sure I don't repeat the same error. I took a religion class once and they talked about all of the books of the Bible that were not chosen to be in our Bible due to Political events and beliefs. Remember those were mere mortal men who made those decisions. And churches change their dialogues as time goes on. I had a friend in my youth that couldn't believe that my family did not go to church and ate meat on Fridays.

Is God going to put me in hell for not going to church when I was young? Would God really send aborted babies to hell? We all have to decide these things for ourselves.

I'm going crazier and crazier.

When I was married I didn't worry about any of this stuff because it didn't impact me.

Now that I'm divorced, I'm facing two stark alternatives: the rest of my life alone or the prospect of going to hell.

I thought I could go over the Episcopalians but their church's lack of conviction on basic principles means I can't really waste my time there.

I could give up and get an annulment, but I see annulments as a modern practice of the Catholic Church as corrupt as indulgences were in the Middle Ages.

Please forgive my ignorance, but you probably know the answer to this. I thought Catholics could remarry if the paid a tithing of sorts. Pretty expensive, but easier on your soul.

No, you can get an annulment.

All I'd have to do is submit paperwork telling the Catholic Church that for some reason my ex-wife didn't have the right attitude when we got married so our marriage wasn't real.

It's totally fucked up, and there's no way I'm doing that to my ex-wife. She would get to read it and she would be deeply hurt if I did that to her.

Thank you. You are a very good person. You are right.

 

[Blackrook]

Just curious and you don't have to answer, but have you been divorced very long? Divorce is called Crazy Times. Incredible highs and incredible lows. That could make this time more dreadful.

Yes, I feel crazy. I never thought I'd be alone. I married a woman and I thought we'd get old and die together and then she left me. I'm distraught with grief and there's nothing I can fucking do about it. The Catholic Church tells me I must live a life of loneliness until I die. The only thing keeping me going is my writing. If it weren't for that, I have no clue what I'd do.

 

[cnm]

I asked the priest, does the Episcopalian Church believe the Eucharist is literally the Body and Blood of Christ.

Do you know the meaning of the word 'literally'?