Planned Parenthood Exposed - New Undercover Video

[Silence]

I think think just the opposite. I think we try to keep people as young and naive as possible in our culture. In the past, and in other cultures, people were considered adults much younger than they are now in the US.

So there's the question of if they were really ready. If you don't think they were there's not much else to say. If you do think they were ready, then why, and what's changed? I think they were and I think todays kids have the capacity to be ready but aren't allowed to be ready by society.

I have a lot more to say on this, but this is enough for now. It will be interesting to see how others feel.

but at what age? that is the question.

used to be childred HAD to grow up fast because their family needed them to help work and support the family. With technology and with advancements that's no longer necessary in most communities. America is unique in that we have the ability to give our children the GIFT of their youth....many countries don't have that but I venture to guess they would if they could.

Could children be taught to be ready for sex? sure....just look in Cambodia where the child sex market is booming. Is that a future that holds any kind of promise for young people? Not IMO.

I see nothing wrong with allowing children to be children for longer. I'm quite happy that my 14 year old isn't experimenting with sex at this point. She happens to be wise enough to know that she's not ready for sex. There is no "magic" number when someone wakes up and is suddenly mature enough to have sex and be able to handle all the emotional ramifications that go along with it. Everyone comes to that point in their own time....some are 15 or 16 others are in their 20s. The key is encouraging people to WAIT for that to happen and not just rushing in to get laid and get it over with.

pre-teens and teens should be being taught that sex isn't casual and that they shouldn't just do it to do it. It's not a game.

 

[Amanda]

but at what age? that is the question.

I don't know. It's not like it wouldn't be a train wreck no matter what it was changed to. More than just the age of consent would have to change.

used to be childred HAD to grow up fast because their family needed them to help work and support the family. With technology and with advancements that's no longer necessary in most communities. America is unique in that we have the ability to give our children the GIFT of their youth....many countries don't have that but I venture to guess they would if they could.

Is it a gift or is it a prison? I think it may be a matter of perspective.

Could children be taught to be ready for sex? sure....just look in Cambodia where the child sex market is booming. Is that a future that holds any kind of promise for young people? Not IMO.

I don't think that's what anyone is saying.

I see nothing wrong with allowing children to be children for longer.

As long as you're ok with the kinds of problems we have that come from it that's a great position.

I'm quite happy that my 14 year old isn't experimenting with sex at this point. She happens to be wise enough to know that she's not ready for sex.

I don't want to question your relationship with her or sow seeds of doubt, but... are you really, really sure? If she goes to school or watches TV she's certainly exposed to all the same kinds of forces that I was. I was really close with my mom in a lot of ways, but I never told her what I was really up to, just the opposite.

There is no "magic" number when someone wakes up and is suddenly mature enough to have sex and be able to handle all the emotional ramifications that go along with it. Everyone comes to that point in their own time....some are 15 or 16 others are in their 20s. The key is encouraging people to WAIT for that to happen and not just rushing in to get laid and get it over with.

I agree there's no magic number.

pre-teens and teens should be being taught that sex isn't casual and that they shouldn't just do it to do it. It's not a game.

Not that I'm trying to be an advocate for it, but if they are protected from pregnancy and disease why shouldn't they do it? I hope you take this question seriously, and don't tell me it's self-evident.

 

[catzmeow]

Some parents should know if their child is having sex or have a plan in place in the event their child is having sex. My two friends who got pregnant in high school parents had their heads so far stuck in the sand it is a wonder they could breath. Plus most fourteen year old girls would probably choose to do something stupid and harmful then tell their parents that they were pregnant and wanted an abortion.

You would think so, but many of the parents I know don't have the faintest clue that their child is sexually active. I suspect that many don't WANT to know.

 

[Anguille]

Her beliefs are not contradictory because she maintains a consistent stance against the tyrannical application of hierarchical tyranny. In the former case, the state takes on a more benevolent stance, and excessively hierarchical parental authority is the tyranny being resisted. In the latter case, the excessively widespread state authority is the tyranny being resisted. But she maintains a consistent opposition to hierarchical authority and tyranny.





There are certain sociobiological realities underlying forms of sexual contact in all societies of course, and essentially every culture has some standard of sexual morality. Indeed, even chimpanzees appear to have some sexual standard or etiquette. But to a very great extent, the "intimate content" bit is a social construct imposed by Christianity and Islam. There are numerous ethnological studies of smaller cultures, now dominated by the two largest religions in the world, in which such a stringent standard and view of sexual contact as "intimate" did not exist. If I recall correctly, the Cherokee mated freely, for instance. Margaret Mead observed that the early Samoans placed few sexual taboos on young adolescents, and that sexual contact was largely viewed as casual, and was both common and healthy among many. She did go a bit overboard in attempting to apply her observations to sexual standards of Western society, though.

Now, I have not directly expressed an opinion on this issue yet. I shall do so now.

I shall first say, that although the representative of Planned Parenthood displayed a willingness to violate the law, it is my belief that she is in accordance with a higher ethical standard in being willing to provide aid to a young woman who happened to be under the age of majority. The labels of "girl" and "child" are incorrect, as pregnant females are clearly reproductive, and are thus young women.

Of course, there is a wider issue than biological maturity, that being the mental maturity of minors, which is often described as being separate from mere biological maturity and severely lacking and not equivalent to that of a legal adult. My contention is that, contrary to popular belief, the commonly accepted claim that adolescents are incapable of exercising rational judgment abilities is not an indisputably correct one. Supporters of this position frequently cite studies conducted with the use of magnetic resonance imaging or functional magnetic resonance imaging that illustrate that the teenage brain is “underdeveloped,” and that adolescents are thus often incapable of making rational or well informed decisions about significant issues. Yet, as Dr. Robert Epstein, former editor of Psychology Today, notes in an article published in Scientific American Mind, thought there is some semblance of a correlation between adolescence and brain development illustrated in these scans, there is no evidence of causation by a natural stage of adolescence. His chief counter-argument references the fact that adolescents have been severely infantilized in modern society, in contrast to the important adult role they played in past times, and it may be this factor that has led to the lack of brain development so commonly assumed to be a natural byproduct of adolescence. As such, it would not be intellectually honest to declare the infallibility of these scans just yet.

There are several studies that have been conducted on the basis of measuring the actual competency of adolescents to make informed decisions, as opposed to highly speculative guesswork based on snapshots of the brain.

An important one is that of Lois A. Weithorn and Susan B. Campbell, which tested four groups of people, aged 9, 14, 18, and 21. The study, entitled The Competency of Children and Adolescents to Make Informed Treatment Decisions, came to the conclusion that 14 year olds were capable of making medical decisions with a level of competence equivalent to that of legal adults. As partially summarized by Weithorn and Campbell:

"In general, minors aged 14 were found to demonstrate a level of competency equivalent to that of adults, according to four standards of competency (evidence of choice, reasonable outcome, rational reasons, and understanding), and for four hypothetical dilemmas (diabetes, epilepsy, depression and enuresis.)…The findings of this research do not lend support to policies which deny adolescents the right of self-determination in treatment situations on the basis of a presumption of incapacity to provide informed consent. The ages of eighteen or twenty-one as the “cutoffs” below which individuals are presumed to be incompetent to make determinations about their own welfare do not reflect the psychological capacities of most adolescents."

The earlier study of researchers Grisso and Vierling, Minors’ Consent to Treatment: A Developmental Perspective, came to a similar conclusion, the authors stating that “existing evidence provides no legal assumption that minors aged 15 years and above cannot provide competent consent.”

Researchers Bruce Ambuel and Julian Rappaport discovered similar results in a study intended to specifically focus on this topic, entitled Developmental trends in adolescents' psychological and legal competence to consent to abortion. The study confirmed the fact that the rational judgment and decision making capacities of adolescents, (particularly those at or beyond mid-adolescence), were often on par with those of adults.

In a wide-ranging review of the developmental literature on adolescents’ abilities to make rational decisions about medical treatment, researchers Kuther and Posada confirmed that, “the literature in developmental psychology has shown that adolescents are able to make meaningful decisions and advocates for youth have argued that researchers must respect the autonomy rights of children and adolescents,” thus confirming the legitimacy and validity of the previous studies to a great degree.

I must also express my observation regarding the logical invalidity of their argument that parents should be notified of a minor’s abortion because they would be legally and financially liable for whatever negative outcomes might occur. This may indeed serve as a compelling argument if we accepted adolescents’ legal and financial dependence on their parents as a natural condition, but accepting that assertion without a challenge is moral and intellectual dishonesty at its highest point. The oft-repeated adage, “As long as you live under my roof, you follow my rules,” is perhaps the most obvious manifestation of this belief. Yet, through the combination of compulsory schooling and child labor laws, adolescents are forced into a state of financial dependence on their parents.

It is important to note that scarcely a century ago, adolescents were occupied with traditional forms of employment and adult responsibilities, while they are now consigned to schools for much of the day, courtesy of a state mandate. The previous arrangement, which likely provided more practical forms of education than sitting in a stuffy classroom for hour on end ever could, is a beneficial one, and could likely be safely and humanely readopted. The brutal conditions of child labor that initially necessitated laws to prevent it have largely disappeared in developed countries as a result of expansive labor reforms. Yet, their legacy is perpetuated as laws intended to keep 6 year olds out of sweatshops keep 16 year olds out of air conditioned offices.

The issue of forced financial dependence is altogether different from a case of natural dependence. An analogy to describe the former might be the case of a man who locks his son inside the house and then comes home to complain that he did not go outside all day. Obviously, this claim would rightly be considered absurd and ludicrous, and the same standard should be applied to the issue of minors’ financial dependence on their parents as long as it is a forced condition.

Thanks for the well written post with supporting evidence of your opinions.. i ussually don't read posts this long but yours was well worth it .

I also disaggre with Silence that "sex is the most intimate contact you can have with another person, outside of giving birth to them, and that it shouldn't just be random and without meaning" Perhaps she left out the word "physical". For me the most intimate contact you can have with a person is via the mind and sex need or need not be part of it. Random sex is not necessarily without meaning even if that meaning is not understood. There is way too much effort put towards telling kids not to have sex or what kind of sex they should have. Not enough effort is put towards being supportive of kids and teaching them that even if not all sex is as good as hoped for, it's a learning experience. Sex is becoming more and more vilified in this society. I think adults need to butt out of kid's sex lives and just be there for support or to step in if warning signs indicate something other than the usual teen drama.

 

[Silence]

You would think so, but many of the parents I know don't have the faintest clue that their child is sexually active. I suspect that many don't WANT to know.

that is the truth...they don't WANT to know. They think by ignoring it it's not real. I can't tell you the number of friends I have who say "I don't even want to think about (fill in name of daughter) having sex" Those, IMO, are the kids who become sexually active way to young.

 

[Anguille]

In this situation, if a child sought life-saving medical intervention, and the parents refused, the child could ask for access to a guardian ad litem from the court to ensure that the child's best interests were protected. Parents DO NOT have a right to deprive their child of LIFE SAVING medical care because of their religious beliefs. In fact, parents have been charged with abuse/neglect for doing so.

Depends on the state.

 

[Anguille]

Originally Posted by Agnapostate
To the extent that that's the case, I don't think it ought to apply to only one age group, as legal adults certainly have no protection from AIDS. I might even say that the vigor of the young would enable them to more effectively deal with its symptoms.

Originally Posted by Agnapostate
that is one of the most ridiculous things I think I've ever seen someone say. Young people can't be trusted to take their medications regularly, which is what helps people with HIV remain healthy for so long now.

-----

I took Agna's remark to mean that adolescents are known to shed viruses or be less aftected by them than adults are.

 

[Anguille]

that is one of the most ridiculous things I think I've ever seen someone say. Young people can't be trusted to take their medications regularly, which is what helps people with HIV remain healthy for so long now.



It is a myth which is why I don't make my daughter attend church. I find most to be filled with hypocrites and liars. Do as I say not as I do types.



what do you consider a young adult? I do agree that the drinking age should be 18. But other than that what contraints do you see hindering these "young adults?

do you even take into account that life expectancy has increased dramatically even in the last 30 or so years? Modern medicine makes it to where people don't have to live their entire lives in a nano-second. My grandmother married at 13 and had my mother at 14. She ended up having to have a hysterectomy at 21 because her body had not sufficiently matured enough to bear a child and doing so damaged her reproductive organs. My mother was an only child because of it. Babies shouldn't be having babies!



are you saying that a 12, 13 or 14 year old is emotionally mature enough to take responsibility for keeping themselves safe from diseases? do they have the willingness to go to the doctor for regular check-ups which is what you do when you become sexually active? do they have the emotional stability to understand that having sex with someone doesn't guarantee you that they'll like you, that sometimes people just want to have sex? are they capable of dealing with that kind of rejection? Do you know ANYTHING about adolescents other than what you remember when you were one? I remember at that age I would've been devestated to sleep with a guy and have him dump me. Adults feel the same way, imagine a child who cries if their friends don't like their new haircut or clothes?



you're trying to argue that CHILDREN should be looked upon as sexually responsible creatures and therefore should be allowed the same rights and freedoms as everyone else. Your argument is flawed insomuch as unless these same children are willing and able to go get jobs and support themselves and whatever offspring they may produce then they shouldn't be having sex!

Apparently you're an advocate for child sex... I find that disturbing on several levels I must say

One of my nieces is 14. I think she is on the verge of having sex and will handle it well. Girls today are not so intimidated by men that they fall apart over a break up. Another niece just turned 15. She had a boyfriend for a while, her mother put her on birth control as a precaution. My niece dropped the boy saying boys were just too high maintenance and not all they are cracked up to be. LOL Both girls are well balanced and seem to be enjoying life better than girls I knew growing up whose parents instilled in them a fear of sex.

 

[Silence]

I don't know. It's not like it wouldn't be a train wreck no matter what it was changed to. More than just the age of consent would have to change.

so you're saying it's doomed to failure no matter what? I don't agree.

Is it a gift or is it a prison? I think it may be a matter of perspective.

I think it's a gift that feels like a prison to a young person who wants their freedom before they are ready for all the consequences that such freedom with entail.

I don't think that's what anyone is saying.

I took the extreme position to make a point. Children are CAPABLE of having sex at any age they choose, that doesn't mean they SHOULD be having sex.

As long as you're ok with the kinds of problems we have that come from it that's a great position.

what problems go along with allowing a 12 year old to still act like a 12 year old? What problems go along with making a person wait until they are 16 to drive a car or get a job? Kids should be concentrating on school not adult worries and problems yet.

I don't want to question your relationship with her or sow seeds of doubt, but... are you really, really sure? If she goes to school or watches TV she's certainly exposed to all the same kinds of forces that I was. I was really close with my mom in a lot of ways, but I never told her what I was really up to, just the opposite.

sorry I don't mean to laugh but yes I'm 1000% sure. She goes to school, she watches television and she's exposed to all the same "forces" you were I'm sure. Perhap even more because I'm VERY open about sex with her. I allow her to watch programs that would make most parents hair stand on end. Ex: Real sex on HBO. I can explain sex to her. It takes the curiousity factor out of it for her. It's not taboo or dirty and hidden. I think a lot of young people have sex because they are rebelling against their parents somehow. It's like drinking or smoking. The more a parent says DON'T, the more they want to do it....hence the immaturity aspect I was referring to.

not to mention, she's 14. She's not going out with her friends unsupervised and she's not allowed to run the streets.

Not that I'm trying to be an advocate for it, but if they are protected from pregnancy and disease why shouldn't they do it? I hope you take this question seriously, and don't tell me it's self-evident.

Because the emotional aspect can't be fixed with a condom or pill. Now some have said that it's societies fault that sex has become an "intimate contact" but I disagree. That's natures fault. You can't get closer to another person and it's important and it should be special. Now, I'm not saying that a casual romp isn't fun, it is. I've had plenty of them, as an adult. But you have to be emotionally mature enough to separate yourself from the act of having sex with the emotional connection you will invariably feel towards that person, even if you don't intend to.

Unless you are totally disconnected from your sense of self-worth you can't just go out and screw everyone who says c'mon. It's your body, it's the only one you have and part of respecting it is being more discerning with who you allow to touch you and basically become part of you, however briefly that may be.

IMO so many young people, girls in particular, use sex as a tool of acceptance. They do it because they think it will get them the attention they want, make the boy like them better, make them more like the "popular" crowd. It's a mistake to think that having sex is the answer to whatever awkwardness someone feels. In fact, sex can make it worse.

I think more parents should teach their pre-teen or young adult that masturbating is a fine alternative to having sex, if it's all about hormonal urges. No sex is as safe as the sex you have with yourself

 

[Anguille]

I don't know, I think it's good for it to be something that can be talked about more openly. That's got to be a result of more casualness.

I agree. I am impressed at how matter of fact kids are these days about sex. I know that will result in them having more realistic expectations about sex and love and lead happier more responsible lives.

 

[Silence]

One of my nieces is 14. I think she is on the verge of having sex and will handle it well. Girls today are not so intimidated by men that they fall apart over a break up. Another niece just turned 15. She had a boyfriend for a while, her mother put her on birth control as a precaution. My niece dropped the boy saying boys were just too high maintenance and not all they are cracked up to be. LOL Both girls are well balanced and seem to be enjoying life better than girls I knew growing up whose parents instilled in them a fear of sex.

it's not about "fear of sex" it's about the emotional responsibility that goes along with having it.

I don't teach my daughter to fear sex and I've told her it's not something that is automatically wonderful. It takes time and practice to get good at it, just like anything worthwhile

But I also teach her that having sex won't solve her problems, it will create problems that aren't necessary. Boys talk and girls get reputations....the double standard is much different for girls than boys and as unfair as it is, it's still there. a guy screws a girl he's a stud, a girl screws a guy and she's a slut. Hell they call each other whore and slut even without knowledge of their sexual activity.

I'm no prude trust me. But for anyone advocating that an adult "stay out of KIDS" sex lives I must say I strongly disagree.

 

[Amanda]

so you're saying it's doomed to failure no matter what? I don't agree.

No, I said more would have to change than the age. Out culture would need to change.

I think it's a gift that feels like a prison to a young person who wants their freedom before they are ready for all the consequences that such freedom with entail.

So when does it become a gift that's appreciated? It just seems like an attempt to control from where I'm sitting.

I took the extreme position to make a point. Children are CAPABLE of having sex at any age they choose, that doesn't mean they SHOULD be having sex.

I don't think anyone is saying when they should. I think it's more about when does a person get to be in charge of their own body.

what problems go along with allowing a 12 year old to still act like a 12 year old? What problems go along with making a person wait until they are 16 to drive a car or get a job? Kids should be concentrating on school not adult worries and problems yet.

It seems like you're trying to avoid what I'm saying. The problems we're talking about in this thread are what I'm talking about. Currently we try to keep kids young as long as possible and this is the reality that comes with that approach. If you're ok with the way things are then I guess things are just great.

sorry I don't mean to laugh but yes I'm 1000% sure. She goes to school, she watches television and she's exposed to all the same "forces" you were I'm sure. Perhap even more because I'm VERY open about sex with her. I allow her to watch programs that would make most parents hair stand on end. Ex: Real sex on HBO. I can explain sex to her. It takes the curiousity factor out of it for her. It's not taboo or dirty and hidden. I think a lot of young people have sex because they are rebelling against their parents somehow. It's like drinking or smoking. The more a parent says DON'T, the more they want to do it....hence the immaturity aspect I was referring to.

I'm glad things are working out for you and you're sure she's ok.

so you're saying it's doomed to failure no matter what? I don't agree.

No, I said more would have to change than the age. Out culture would need to change.

I think it's a gift that feels like a prison to a young person who wants their freedom before they are ready for all the consequences that such freedom with entail.

So when does it become a gift that's appreciated? It just seems like an attempt to control from where I'm sitting.

I took the extreme position to make a point. Children are CAPABLE of having sex at any age they choose, that doesn't mean they SHOULD be having sex.

I don't think anyone is saying when they should. I think it's more about when does a person get to be in charge of their own body.

what problems go along with allowing a 12 year old to still act like a 12 year old? What problems go along with making a person wait until they are 16 to drive a car or get a job? Kids should be concentrating on school not adult worries and problems yet.

It seems like you're trying to avoid what I'm saying. The problems we're talking about in this thread are what I'm talking about. Currently we try to keep kids young as long as possible and this is the reality that comes with that approach. If you're ok with the way things are then I guess things are just great.

 

[Anguille]

it's not about "fear of sex" it's about the emotional responsibility that goes along with having it.

I don't teach my daughter to fear sex and I've told her it's not something that is automatically wonderful. It takes time and practice to get good at it, just like anything worthwhile

But I also teach her that having sex won't solve her problems, it will create problems that aren't necessary. Boys talk and girls get reputations....the double standard is much different for girls than boys and as unfair as it is, it's still there. a guy screws a girl he's a stud, a girl screws a guy and she's a slut. Hell they call each other whore and slut even without knowledge of their sexual activity.

I'm no prude trust me. But for anyone advocating that an adult "stay out of KIDS" sex lives I must say I strongly disagree.

Sometimes sex comes without emotional responsibility. As long as it's mutual, it's up to the people involved. Kids should have the opportunity to experience that too. My nieces and their crowd never say call each other slut and whore, even as a joke. They seem to be beyond all that. That kind of behavior is so not part of their generation. I tell you, this newer generation is very impressive to me. I think Amanda is shedding some light on it that shows how different it is from even that of adults who are now in their twenties.
Maybe we are talking about different things when we discuss staying out of or involved in kid's sex lives. But there is such a thing as smothering parents who try to relive their own lives through their kids.

I see more parents with boundary issues than ever before.

 

[Anguille]

No, I said more would have to change than the age. Out culture would need to change.


So when does it become a gift that's appreciated? It just seems like an attempt to control from where I'm sitting.


I don't think anyone is saying when they should. I think it's more about when does a person get to be in charge of their own body.



It seems like you're trying to avoid what I'm saying. The problems we're talking about in this thread are what I'm talking about. Currently we try to keep kids young as long as possible and this is the reality that comes with that approach. If you're ok with the way things are then I guess things are just great.



I'm glad things are working out for you and you're sure she's ok.


No, I said more would have to change than the age. Out culture would need to change.


So when does it become a gift that's appreciated? It just seems like an attempt to control from where I'm sitting.


I don't think anyone is saying when they should. I think it's more about when does a person get to be in charge of their own body.



It seems like you're trying to avoid what I'm saying. The problems we're talking about in this thread are what I'm talking about. Currently we try to keep kids young as long as possible and this is the reality that comes with that approach. If you're ok with the way things are then I guess things are just great.

I could swear I am hearing my teenage self in your post. You are so correct in saying the culture must change as well as the age.

 

[Amanda]

Sometimes sex comes without emotional responsibility. As long as it's mutual, it's up to the people involved. Kids should have the opportunity to experience that too. My nieces and their crowd never say call each other slut and whore, even as a joke. They seem to be beyond all that. That kind of behavior is so not part of their generation. I tell you, this newer generation is very impressive to me. I think Amanda is shedding some light on it that shows how different it is from even that of adults who are now in their twenties.
Maybe we are talking about different things when we discuss staying out of or involved in kid's sex lives. But there is such a thing as smothering parents who try to relive their own lives through their kids.

I see more parents with boundary issues than ever before.

We used to joke around with name calling but we weren't serious at all. It was more about things that hadn't happened than actual behavior. All my friends were really supportive. And even the guys weren't like we were always told they would be. A little yeah from time to time but it wasn't like you got a rep and could never lose it or anything like that.

And yeah, totally on the boundary issue thing.

 

[Silence]

No, I said more would have to change than the age. Out culture would need to change. [.quote]

I agree, it's not just about age. but sexualizing children isn't the answer either.

So when does it become a gift that's appreciated? It just seems like an attempt to control from where I'm sitting.

when you have children of your own you begin to appreciate what your parents tried to do for you, if you have decent parents. Ask anyone who has reached the age of having children of their own to worry about and 99% will say they were wrong in believing their parents were being unreasonable in what they expected from them.

I don't think anyone is saying when they should. I think it's more about when does a person get to be in charge of their own body.

when you're old enough to pay your own bills, take care of your children, provide your own medical care when you get sick. Oh I don't know, when you're an adult.

and let's make no mistake here, I'm not advocating regulating anyone's body. I don't necessarily agree with the parental consent laws that many states have. For the simple reason that MANY parents ARE unreasonable and in denial about their children's sexual activity.

It is your body and you're free to do as you please but with that freedom comes responsibility. Because you not only take your life in your hands, you take your partners life as well.

It seems like you're trying to avoid what I'm saying. The problems we're talking about in this thread are what I'm talking about. Currently we try to keep kids young as long as possible and this is the reality that comes with that approach. If you're ok with the way things are then I guess things are just great.

I think a lot could be improved but I don't think that it's all just one big suppressive effort to keep the youth of the world in chastity belts and virgin pledges.

There is a difference between ALLOWING children to remain children and FORCING them to be children. You don't treat children like lil idiots. You approach them with the knowledge and understanding that they are bright and capable. You have open and honest conversations with them about the consequences of engaging in activities that can have LIFELONG ramifications and you HOPE that just enough of that information sticks so that when they are faced with the question of whether to have sex or not to have sex that they make the best choice for THEMSELVES and not because someone is trying to coherse them into doing something they don't want to do.

I'm glad things are working out for you and you're sure she's ok.

thanks, but you say that like you don't believe it, which given your own history I can see why you'd be doubtful.

The first step in reducing the number of sexually active teens and pre-teens is teaching them to respect themselves....IMO girls who sleep around a lot do so because they have a self-esteem issue and they mask that by saying they just like fucking. They are looking for love and acceptance and think that they will find it that way. they are almost always disappointed.

 

[catzmeow]

sorry I don't mean to laugh but yes I'm 1000% sure. She goes to school, she watches television and she's exposed to all the same "forces" you were I'm sure. Perhap even more because I'm VERY open about sex with her. I allow her to watch programs that would make most parents hair stand on end. Ex: Real sex on HBO. I can explain sex to her. It takes the curiousity factor out of it for her. It's not taboo or dirty and hidden. I think a lot of young people have sex because they are rebelling against their parents somehow. It's like drinking or smoking. The more a parent says DON'T, the more they want to do it....hence the immaturity aspect I was referring to.

not to mention, she's 14. She's not going out with her friends unsupervised and she's not allowed to run the streets.

It sounds like you and I have very similar parenting strategies. There is next to nothing that I wouldn't discuss openly with either of my kids as it relates to sex.

 

[Silence]

Sometimes sex comes without emotional responsibility. As long as it's mutual, it's up to the people involved. Kids should have the opportunity to experience that too. My nieces and their crowd never say call each other slut and whore, even as a joke. They seem to be beyond all that. That kind of behavior is so not part of their generation. I tell you, this newer generation is very impressive to me. I think Amanda is shedding some light on it that shows how different it is from even that of adults who are now in their twenties.
Maybe we are talking about different things when we discuss staying out of or involved in kid's sex lives. But there is such a thing as smothering parents who try to relive their own lives through their kids.

I see more parents with boundary issues than ever before.

sorry, but I find it more than a little disturbing that you and seemingly your sister, see nothing wrong with these 14 and 15 year old girls engaging in risky behavior.

Adolesents have sex. I get it...hell I did it myself. But when I was a teenager you weren't putting your LIFE on the line by having sex with someone.

JHC people there's something to be said for some HEALTHY fear. This lackadasical attitude that sex is no big deal and that it can be downgraded to nothing more intimate than playing a game of tennis with someone is EXACTLY why we'll never get teen pregnancy and the spread of diseases under control.

 

[catzmeow]

JHC people there's something to be said for some HEALTHY fear. This lackadasical attitude that sex is no big deal and that it can be downgraded to nothing more intimate than playing a game of tennis with someone is EXACTLY why we'll never get teen pregnancy and the spread of diseases under control.

Indeed. My daughter and I have had many conversations about the idea that when you sleep with someone, you are exposing yourself to THEIR ENTIRE SEXUAL HISTORY. So, every person you sleep with is potentially like you are sleeping with dozens or even hundreds more. And, you can't un-do possible exposure to an STD. So, while sex is a lot of fun, it also carries a lot of possible risks with it, particularly for young women, who will also have to handle the vast majority of responsibility for an unplanned pregnancy.

 

[Anguille]

sorry, but I find it more than a little disturbing that you and seemingly your sister, see nothing wrong with these 14 and 15 year old girls engaging in risky behavior.

Adolesents have sex. I get it...hell I did it myself. But when I was a teenager you weren't putting your LIFE on the line by having sex with someone.

JHC people there's something to be said for some HEALTHY fear. This lackadasical attitude that sex is no big deal and that it can be downgraded to nothing more intimate than playing a game of tennis with someone is EXACTLY why we'll never get teen pregnancy and the spread of diseases under control.

Why do you think they are behaving in risky behavior? You say a lot of smart things and I think you are raising your daughter well. You do much of he same things my sister does. But your posts are contradictory. I sense your own past colors how you see your daughter's.