Relationships: Does love come with a timer attached

[Natural Citizen]

The thread reminds me of a video that one of my favorite youtubers uploaded a couple of months ago. I don't watch youtube that much but I'm subscribed to a couple of little channels that suit my interest.

Love is a Train...

I like the guy's energy when discussing his observations ... He has indeed experienced love.
If someone wants to ask what love is ... he does a good job of explaining what it is to him.

.

Yeah. I think so, too.

He has good vids.

Love is Madness, Why Do We Fall in Love, The Epiphany of a Kiss, The Rhapsody and Agony of Love, Long Term Desire, Love is the Greatest Pain, The Sad Tragic Truth About Our Relationships, Love and Loss, Love Is A Drug, and many, many more.

Anyway. Yeah...

 

[Mindful]

Well with some women love runs dry about the same time your credit line does!

How cynical.

 

[Mindful]

What is love?

Oxytocin.

 

[Mindful]

 

[Mindful]

 

[Moonglow]

love, that unconditional care and affection for another human is most beautiful...Find some today...

 

[Mindful]

love, that unconditional care and affection for another human is most beautiful...Find some today...

You mean a love-in? No more brawling?

 

[Moonglow]

love, that unconditional care and affection for another human is most beautiful...Find some today...

You mean a love-in? No more brawling?

Only with lip gloss..

 

[blastoff]

A timer, huh? Never thought of it like that. But, yeah, mine generally goes off about two, two-and-a-half minutes after thrust exercises begin.

 

[monkrules]

Maybe...but I have friends that I introduced while in high school. They married a short time later and had four child. They were married 32 years, when she decided she did not want to be married any more and walked away from the marriage. No one could believe it. They had always seemed like the perfect couple. Some think it had something to do with her going through menopause. Who knows?

A friend I've known since elementary school met the woman who was to become his wife as a teenager. They did everything together and seemed to be the perfect couple. They married, had a couple of kids and, after about eighteen years the guy started running around on her, then they divorced.

Years later, they're still friends but the guy is still fooling around. Many of our friends still can't understand how they didn't make it. It's sad because they're both well liked and have lots of people who care about them.

 

[hjmick]

Relationships: Does love come with a timer attached

No.

And it comes with no conditions.

It is not fleeting.

Not when you find the one.

You don't always find it the first time, you may never find it. But if you're lucky...


My wife and I have been together for 23 years, 20 of them married. I love her more today than I did when we became romantically involved. I love her more today than I did yesterday. Every day is better than the last.

 

[ABikerSailor]

You know, I don't think there is really any timer attached to a relationship.

Me? I got married for all the wrong reasons (made E4 and thought I should get married because all my friends were, met a girl, and asked her to marry me a week later). And, because I didn't know anything about how to have a healthy relationship, it failed and I was divorced 7 years later.

However..........................over the years, I've learned there are 3 rules, that if you follow them, will always result in a healthy relationship.

1. One plus one equals three. Yeah, I know, it sounds like bad math, but there are three separate parts of a relationship. Me (an individual with my own style and tastes), her (another individual with their own style and tastes), and the third part is the combining of the two individuals in a relationship, which is the third.

2. A relationship is NOT a 50/50 proposition. A 50/50 proposition is a business deal. If I want something that costs 5 bucks, I have to give you 5 bucks to get the thing. 50/50, which is a business deal. A relationship on the other hand is two people combining together each and every day to make 100 percent. Some days, she may only be able to contribute 20 percent because she's sick, so I better be willing and able to kick in the other 80 percent so that things keep going. It doesn't matter who gives more or who gives less, just that together we make 100 percent each day.

And finally, the third one.................

3. A relationship can survive on 51 percent love, and 49 percent lust, but when the ratio hits 50/50, or turns to 49 percent love and 51 percent lust, that is when it has problems. And, to tell the difference, you just have to ask yourself one question and answer it honestly (and it is a bitch goddess of a question).......

Do I truly enjoy the person, or, do I enjoy myself through the instrumentality of that person? The first one is love, the second one is lust. If I truly enjoy the person, then it doesn't matter what they do or have, I just enjoy being with them.

However..................if I am enjoying myself through the instrumentality of that person, that means there is something there that the person has that I like and want. But, if that person loses the thing that I am enjoying through them, then what happens when they lose it? If it's because they have a job, what happens when they get fired? I'm outta there. If its because of the instrumentality of their looks, what happens when they gain weight or get old? Again, I'm outta there. Enjoying myself through the instrumentality of that person is where the lust is.

But, like I said, there has to be a certain amount of lust in a relationship, because otherwise, there wouldn't have been anything to attract me to them in the first place. And, over time, the lust is gradually replaced by love, because even in spite of a persons quirks, you learn to love and enjoy them even in spite of them.

Ever since I learned that, my relationships got a hell of a lot better.

 

[monkrules]

I don’t remember where I heard or read this guy’s idea, but he made a simple statement I’ve never forgotten. And the more I’ve thought about it, the more sense it makes.

He said, “the most important thing in a marriage is ‘acceptance’. That was it, he left it for the listener to fill in the meanings.

Everyone has faults and flaws, but we seldom consider them to be a problem in a new partner. While we are a new couple and totally infatuated with one-another, that is. But like science fiction monsters, those ‘little’ flaws can grow to gigantic proportions and take on huge importance over the years.

Then, there's my sister, who always told me: "you never know someone until you marry them." Are those scary words, or what? Lol...

 

[ABikerSailor]

I don’t remember where I heard or read this guy’s idea, but he made a simple statement I’ve never forgotten. And the more I’ve thought about it, the more sense it makes.

He said, “the most important thing in a marriage is ‘acceptance’. That was it, he left it for the listener to fill in the meanings.

Everyone has faults and flaws, but we seldom consider them to be a problem in a new partner. While we are a new couple and totally infatuated with one-another, that is. But like science fiction monsters, those ‘little’ flaws can grow to gigantic proportions and take on huge importance over the years.

Then, there's my sister, who always told me: "you never know someone until you marry them." Are those scary words, or what? Lol...

One thing to remember about acceptance. It's not a destination, it's a starting point.

If I don't accept the fact that I am in Amarillo TX, but think I am in Jacksonville FL, and decide to go to NYC, I'm never gonna make it there because I will be going in the wrong direction because I started at the wrong place.

If I am in a situation, I need to accept all the things that go with that situation so that I can figure out where I want to go from there.

 

[Michelle420]

I love

 

[The Professor]

What is love?