The Obituary of Christ.

[The Irish Ram]

I share this every year.


Obituary: Jesus Christ, A.D. 33

Jesus Christ, 33, of Nazareth, died Friday on Mount Calvary, also known as Golgotha, the place of the skull. Betrayed by the apostle Judas Iscariot, Jesus was crucified by the Romans, by order of the Ruler Pontius Pilate. The causes of death were crucifixion, extreme exhaustion, severe torture, and loss of blood.
Jesus Christ, a descendant of Abraham, was a member of the house of David. He was the supposed son of the late Joseph, a carpenter of Nazareth and Mary, His devoted mother. (He often substantiated His claim that His true Father was God.) Jesus was born in the city of Bethlehem, Judea. He is survived by His mother Mary, His faithful apostles, and numerous disciples.

Jesus was self-educated and spent the last three years of this life working as a teacher. Jesus also occasionally worked as a medical doctor, and it is reported that He healed many patients. Until the time of His death, Jesus was teaching and sharing the good news, healing the sick, touching the lonely, feeding the hungry, and helping the poor.

Jesus was most noted for telling parables about His Father’s kingdom and performing miracles, such as feeding over 5,000 people with only five loaves of bread and two fish and healing a man who was born blind. On the day before His death, He held a last supper celebrating the Passover Feast, at which He foretold His death.

The body was quickly buried in a stone grave, which was donated by Joseph of Arimathea, a secret disciple. By order of Pontius Pilate, a boulder was rolled in front of the tomb. Roman soldiers were put on guard.

In lieu of flowers, the family has requested that everyone try to live as Jesus did. Donations may be sent to anyone in need.

 

[Votto]

It's a little late for this, isn't it?

 

[S.J.]

He'll be back.

 

[blackcherry]

I don't want another dose of that boring guy .
One wretched episode has left a bad enough taste in the mouth , without wanting a repetition .
Let's construct a planet message board , beamed into the sky with , " No Tourists or Preachers welcome "

 

[The Irish Ram]

What a shame.

No Jesus
No peace

 

[Katzndogz]

I don't want another dose of that boring guy .
One wretched episode has left a bad enough taste in the mouth , without wanting a repetition .
Let's construct a planet message board , beamed into the sky with , " No Tourists or Preachers welcome "

That's why they call it Hell!

 

[emilynghiem]

physically dead but spiritually alive.
what about his birth announcements
and eternal rebirth in the Kingdom of Heaven?

what about the marriage announcement
when people as the Bride of Christ or Church
unite in receiving the Law as our government so we all become one in harmony
(where the people are the church, and the people are the government
by embracing and embodying the laws ourselves by conscience
in the spirit of divine truth, justice and grace etc etc for perfect love healing and peace)

lots of people are engaged, when is the worldwide wedding ceremony
that everyone is invited to, on earth and in heaven to celebrate as one huge family?

and more importantly, which bands are booked to play?
it's not the same if you don't have good music and good food!
from every culture, can you imagine? who wouldn't want to be there!

where do I RSVP?

I share this every year.


Obituary: Jesus Christ, A.D. 33

Jesus Christ, 33, of Nazareth, died Friday on Mount Calvary, also known as Golgotha, the place of the skull. Betrayed by the apostle Judas Iscariot, Jesus was crucified by the Romans, by order of the Ruler Pontius Pilate. The causes of death were crucifixion, extreme exhaustion, severe torture, and loss of blood.
Jesus Christ, a descendant of Abraham, was a member of the house of David. He was the supposed son of the late Joseph, a carpenter of Nazareth and Mary, His devoted mother. (He often substantiated His claim that His true Father was God.) Jesus was born in the city of Bethlehem, Judea. He is survived by His mother Mary, His faithful apostles, and numerous disciples.

Jesus was self-educated and spent the last three years of this life working as a teacher. Jesus also occasionally worked as a medical doctor, and it is reported that He healed many patients. Until the time of His death, Jesus was teaching and sharing the good news, healing the sick, touching the lonely, feeding the hungry, and helping the poor.

Jesus was most noted for telling parables about His Father’s kingdom and performing miracles, such as feeding over 5,000 people with only five loaves of bread and two fish and healing a man who was born blind. On the day before His death, He held a last supper celebrating the Passover Feast, at which He foretold His death.

The body was quickly buried in a stone grave, which was donated by Joseph of Arimathea, a secret disciple. By order of Pontius Pilate, a boulder was rolled in front of the tomb. Roman soldiers were put on guard.

In lieu of flowers, the family has requested that everyone try to live as Jesus did. Donations may be sent to anyone in need.

 

[Bill Angel]

I don't want another dose of that boring guy .
One wretched episode has left a bad enough taste in the mouth , without wanting a repetition .
Let's construct a planet message board , beamed into the sky with , " No Tourists or Preachers welcome "

How about installing a sign and a fence topped with barbed wire?

No Trespassing... Violators Will Be Prosecuted!
Violators would include Alien Tourists and Preachers

 

[emilynghiem]

Dear Blackcherry:
The coming and return of Jesus represents the spiritual and political process of Divine
Justice with Mercy being established globally, inclusively and equally for all humanity
in order to bring lasting freedom and peace. Universal Truth and Justice, by definition of universal, involves and affects all of us, individually, in relationship with each other, and collectively for all generations over time. This is what God and Jesus ultimately represent, regardless how these principles or process are expressed religiously culturally or personally.

I don't want another dose of that boring guy .
One wretched episode has left a bad enough taste in the mouth , without wanting a repetition.

The second half of the storm is where it gets interesting! Ask anyone who's been through their spiritual rebirth, purgatory or "second death." There is no mistaking this phase because you will suffer like hell going into it and through it, as if you are dying inside and out, but will rejoice like heaven when you are freed afterward and will never fear change/death or suffer like that again. You will know you are spiritually free from the past.

Let's construct a planet message board , beamed into the sky with , " No Tourists or Preachers welcome "

Good luck with that. You can try to board up your doors and windows to keep the Storm out
but with the pressure of social and spiritual change, it's better to open up and equalize the forces so you don't blow your house down trying to resist the winds of change.

the best way to counteract false preaching is to use reverse psychology, resist not evil, but kill people with kindness, invite them and offer to help solve problems they are projecting on others, so the ones with false intentions will run the other way if they are not really about forgiving correcting and preventing problems.

Open up, don't shut down.
Whatever you cling to you lose anyway.
Whatever you let go unconditionally comes back to you.

I hope you can open up and enjoy the spiritual process with love of sharing with others
instead of fearing it with resistance rejection and division which makes it harder to deal with.

the process of growing toward spiritual maturity and peace is happening anyway, for each person and culture individually and for all humanity collectively. we might as well help each other through the ups and downs, and quit fighting over things when there's work to do!

take care, take courage
take heart and take comfort!