Abishai100
VIP Member
- Sep 22, 2013
- 4,957
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This is a commerce-culture (i.e., 'TrumpUSA') parody inspired by The Ref.
Signing off (Happy April Fool's Day --- and Go Villanova!).
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"My name is Max. I'm a galactic warrior dealing with a hostile alien invasion of Xenomorphs intent on destroying America and TrumpUSA. I have to defend capitalism and democracy, even though I'm not from Earth (though I'm humanoid). I've been fighting for many years now (I'm almost 40), and now, I need to settle down, reflect, re-evaluate, and register with a psychiatrist. I found a perfect psychiatrist --- a galactic oracle-woman named Jane. I think she can cure me of capitalism cynicism." -MAX
"My name is Jane. I'm the oracle-woman Max (the galactic warrior) approached for psychiatric therapy. Max wants to be relieved of his angst and anger towards capitalism/democracy, especially since he's been fighting mad like a centurion against the Xenomorphs seeking to destroy America/TrumpUSA. Like Max, I'm not human but I'm a 'humanoid' trained in Freudian/Jungian psychoanalysis, and I understand Max's fears regarding universal devastation and what it's done to his sense of courage and empathy. I've agreed to be his 'TrumpUSA psychiatrist'." -JANE
MAX: War is hell...
JANE: Capitalism is difficult to defend.
MAX: Extremely...
JANE: Do you feel honored by your will to help others?
MAX: Of course!
JANE: Yet, you harbor demons/scars from your 'crusade.'
MAX: Those Xenomorphs highlighted the frailty of intelligent life.
JANE: Yes, capitalism creates piracy, and that is inevitable.
MAX: It's a 'quality' of competitive economics.
JANE: It sure is, Max; you have reason to feel 'haunted.'
MAX: Maybe I should watch Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?
JANE: Did you know there's a version of that show in India?
MAX: Yes! It's hosted by Bollywood-celebrity Amitabh Bachan.
JANE: Why don't you tell me what has scarred you about America/capitalism.
MAX: I feel that the Xenomorphs have managed to 'convince' me democracy is fragile!
JANE: Democracy can be 'confounded' by competitive capitalism, but we keep the faith.
MAX: I've always been reluctant going to a 'shrink.'
JANE: Fear not, Max; our conversation is confidential. I'm here to help...
MAX: I understand; I've been fighting and fighting for so long now, doc.
JANE: Yes, you have! You need to evaluate what moves you about America.
MAX: I think 'TrumpUSA' has some redeemable qualities regarding commerce/teamwork.
JANE: That's fine; I think you've 'absorbed' the malicious belief that capitalism is 'wolfish.'
MAX: The Xenomorphs wanted to destroy America's sense of democratic unification...
JANE: Of course; predators prey on our vulnerabilities regarding fear of doom.
MAX: I suppose capitalism-advocates fear of market uncertainties/crashes too!
JANE: I can help you work through your 'inherited cynicism' regarding 'capitalism confusion.'
"After our terrific first four psychiatry-sessions, I realized Jane was an extremely adept and skilled psychologist. She knew just want to say to me, and she knew just what was bothering me regarding why I fought those nasty Xenomorphs and why they were so intent on destroying TrumpUSA and all of humanity. I understand now that capitalism is a free-choice system requiring great coordinations of teamwork and governance foresight. I have to understand how to balance self-idealization (e.g., vigilantism) with sociological frailties (e.g., terrorism). Jane even had me dress up as Batman (DC Comics), while she dressed up as Harley Quinn (DC Comics), so we could have a 'mock-conversation' about the 'tangible consequences' of anti-patriotic terrorism (the kind the Xenomorphs practiced). Jane's been a miracle for me." -MAX
"Max has come along well and is working beautifully as my patient. He's understanding some of the ideological passions which moved him to defend TrumpUSA and the absorbed/inherited malice he faced while dealing with the anti-American Xenomorph alien-creatures trying to invade Earth! I believe Max is slowly but surely learning to understand how to balance idealism with reality and how TrumpUSA represents (for Max and others) both commercial vanities and human trust. Perhaps with continued sessions, Max and I can come to a better resolution regarding dealing with the challenges of facing/massaging 'capitalism devastation.' I'm also falling in love with Max, but since he's my patient, I think I should remain first his medical resource. This has been an overall very patriotism-therapeutic experience (perhaps for both of us). I think I will visit Earth someday to meet Melania Trump." -JANE
====
Signing off (Happy April Fool's Day --- and Go Villanova!).
====
"My name is Max. I'm a galactic warrior dealing with a hostile alien invasion of Xenomorphs intent on destroying America and TrumpUSA. I have to defend capitalism and democracy, even though I'm not from Earth (though I'm humanoid). I've been fighting for many years now (I'm almost 40), and now, I need to settle down, reflect, re-evaluate, and register with a psychiatrist. I found a perfect psychiatrist --- a galactic oracle-woman named Jane. I think she can cure me of capitalism cynicism." -MAX
"My name is Jane. I'm the oracle-woman Max (the galactic warrior) approached for psychiatric therapy. Max wants to be relieved of his angst and anger towards capitalism/democracy, especially since he's been fighting mad like a centurion against the Xenomorphs seeking to destroy America/TrumpUSA. Like Max, I'm not human but I'm a 'humanoid' trained in Freudian/Jungian psychoanalysis, and I understand Max's fears regarding universal devastation and what it's done to his sense of courage and empathy. I've agreed to be his 'TrumpUSA psychiatrist'." -JANE
MAX: War is hell...
JANE: Capitalism is difficult to defend.
MAX: Extremely...
JANE: Do you feel honored by your will to help others?
MAX: Of course!
JANE: Yet, you harbor demons/scars from your 'crusade.'
MAX: Those Xenomorphs highlighted the frailty of intelligent life.
JANE: Yes, capitalism creates piracy, and that is inevitable.
MAX: It's a 'quality' of competitive economics.
JANE: It sure is, Max; you have reason to feel 'haunted.'
MAX: Maybe I should watch Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?
JANE: Did you know there's a version of that show in India?
MAX: Yes! It's hosted by Bollywood-celebrity Amitabh Bachan.
JANE: Why don't you tell me what has scarred you about America/capitalism.
MAX: I feel that the Xenomorphs have managed to 'convince' me democracy is fragile!
JANE: Democracy can be 'confounded' by competitive capitalism, but we keep the faith.
MAX: I've always been reluctant going to a 'shrink.'
JANE: Fear not, Max; our conversation is confidential. I'm here to help...
MAX: I understand; I've been fighting and fighting for so long now, doc.
JANE: Yes, you have! You need to evaluate what moves you about America.
MAX: I think 'TrumpUSA' has some redeemable qualities regarding commerce/teamwork.
JANE: That's fine; I think you've 'absorbed' the malicious belief that capitalism is 'wolfish.'
MAX: The Xenomorphs wanted to destroy America's sense of democratic unification...
JANE: Of course; predators prey on our vulnerabilities regarding fear of doom.
MAX: I suppose capitalism-advocates fear of market uncertainties/crashes too!
JANE: I can help you work through your 'inherited cynicism' regarding 'capitalism confusion.'
"After our terrific first four psychiatry-sessions, I realized Jane was an extremely adept and skilled psychologist. She knew just want to say to me, and she knew just what was bothering me regarding why I fought those nasty Xenomorphs and why they were so intent on destroying TrumpUSA and all of humanity. I understand now that capitalism is a free-choice system requiring great coordinations of teamwork and governance foresight. I have to understand how to balance self-idealization (e.g., vigilantism) with sociological frailties (e.g., terrorism). Jane even had me dress up as Batman (DC Comics), while she dressed up as Harley Quinn (DC Comics), so we could have a 'mock-conversation' about the 'tangible consequences' of anti-patriotic terrorism (the kind the Xenomorphs practiced). Jane's been a miracle for me." -MAX
"Max has come along well and is working beautifully as my patient. He's understanding some of the ideological passions which moved him to defend TrumpUSA and the absorbed/inherited malice he faced while dealing with the anti-American Xenomorph alien-creatures trying to invade Earth! I believe Max is slowly but surely learning to understand how to balance idealism with reality and how TrumpUSA represents (for Max and others) both commercial vanities and human trust. Perhaps with continued sessions, Max and I can come to a better resolution regarding dealing with the challenges of facing/massaging 'capitalism devastation.' I'm also falling in love with Max, but since he's my patient, I think I should remain first his medical resource. This has been an overall very patriotism-therapeutic experience (perhaps for both of us). I think I will visit Earth someday to meet Melania Trump." -JANE
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