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Well, we have a date for the bi-annual Pig Roast! Saturday August 6.
My oldest and dearest friend throws a huge party every two years. It falls to me and my brother to actually roast the pig for the big hootenanny. We'll go up to his house in Austintown Friday evening and mount, tie, season and secure the pig to the spit. It takes a little skill and a lot of experience and a fair share of lubrication by way of adult beverages to successfully tie a 110 pound pig to a spit.
Way way back in 1988, we had a pig roast at the local Shriner's Club. The Shriners hold an annual Fishing Derby at their club each summer. They have kids over to fish the small lake there. The oldest fisherman is usually 12 or 13. A local sporting goods store provides a couple arm loads of fishing tackle and the Shriners stock the lake with over $10,000 worth of game fish. Large and small mouth bass, lake trout, a few walleye and other tasty varieties are stocked in the lake two weeks before the derby.
Our party was set for one week before the derby.
We got out to the Shrine Club at 6:00 that morning. We built a fire and developed a good hot bed of coals then retired to the clubhouse for breakfast. I cooked bacon, sausages and eggs for our gang of eleven and took my plate to one of the picnic tables overlooking the lake.
I saw a Grandfather and his grandson fishing. Grandpa was really working the lake while the little shaver was goofing off, tangling his reel and generally having a blast.
One of the Shriners who unlocked the clubhouse and then enjoyed breakfast with us went down to Grandpa and kicked him and his charge off the lake.
Meanwhile, we had carried the pig, already mounted to the spit up to the fire and started the electric motor that ran the spit.
Grandpa packed up his gear and took his grandson by the hand up to where we were cooking the pig.
Now, after a half hour or so, a fresh pig on a spit begins to warm up. This means that any of the fluids in the head warm up to the point they start to ooze out of the nose. It looks like strawberry jam. This particular pig was felled by a .22 in the back of the head. That wound began to ooze blood too.
I am not being intentionally graphic here. I'm just setting the scene that the little boy confronted.
I watched him as he watched the pig. This was probably the first real pig he had ever seen. It was nothing like Porky Pig at all.
The skin was now sweating grease and glistened in the morning sun.
The legs of the pig are drawn back and secured to the spit so they resemble the legs of a rather pudgy four year old. The flesh of the pig looks just like the flesh of any Caucasian, giving the scene an even more realistic look than a little boy could comprehend.
His eyes were the size of saucers as he watched the pig rotate. Sinus goo coming from the nose, a hole that was clearly a bullet hole dripping blood and those fat thighs, the hams, shining like an overheated fat kid.
I could tell that this was a memory being tattooed onto this kid's mind.
That was nearly thirty years ago. I wonder if that child ever ate pork again?
We no longer use the open spit method. It's just too difficult to maintain a fire and make sure the pig cooks evenly. The rib cage always cooked first and as that meat softened up, it caused the pig to basically break at that point. The shoulders and hams need a longer cooking time. Our method these days involves an old fuel oil tank we had split in two horizontally and reattached with hinges. There are wire baskets welded inside where we can put fifty pounds of charcoal along each side and move it away from the ribs about two thirds through the cooking process. Once the lid is closed, the pig cooks in about two thirds the time it takes on an open spit.
That's experience talking there! Once the adult beverages kick in, it becomes rote, muscle memory, automatic.
You painted such a graphic image of that I had the same reaction as the child did and in addition to deep sympathy for the pig, I don't know if I'll ever look at pork the same way again. But then I grew up in little Texas in the southeast corner of the state where calf and pig roasting were common things but they always removed the head, tail, and feet before roasting. Not quite so gruesome.