JD_2B
Little Vixen
I have no doubt that you were molested as a child at this point.
This is one of the major problems with child molestation. Apparently, the child's biological mechanisms will still allow them to experience some element of pleasure (not every time, but sometimes) which causes them to be confused about "good touch" vs "bad touch".
Now, it should be noted that just because the child FELT something that physically felt good or comforting, doesn't mean that the child consented to the sex act, or had a good overall psychological experience from it.
Many molesters have been molested as children and they simply remember the biological stimuli that caused their brain's "pleasure receptors" to react. Their frontal lobe tells them that they felt weird about the act, and that something was not right there- but their brains also have had "alterations" done to them that also affect the way they think about sex in the future.. They are generally programmed to believe that the person loves them, and make the reasonable conclusion that if a grown up person loves you, then this is what happens, as an expression of that love. For all we know, the molester (a care giver, a family member, a close friend of the family's, etc) did love them on some level- but the victim is not being taught that love and respect are not mutually interchangeable.
The same dynamic occurs in homes where domestic violence occurs. Children see this happening with their mom and dad, they see mom getting punched, etc. . And the little girls grow up to get abused, and the little boys grow up to be abusive. Its just adverse brain programming, Cont.
Any 13 year old who says that she enjoyed it may not be lying- if she says she climaxed, she also may not be lying. But to say that she can base her understanding about love and mutual respect on that first sexual experience, and try to claim that it was healthy, or good.. it is just a psychological defense mechanism to protect the person who programmed her to believe that she was "loved". Children are apparently surprisingly easy to manipulate.
How many kids still believe in Santa or the tooth fairy? Why- because they are told lies, and the lies come from people who "love" them. Sure these people love their kids.. but lying to your kids is not respectful. Even this very common situation is teaching kids that it is okay to lie or believe a fairy tale.
I told my kid WAY early on that Santa is not real. I made it sound really good at the time, of course- I said that Santa is the spirit of Christmas, because Jesus got presents for his birthday. I said that since Christmas is the date we use to celebrate that birthday, then we use this "santa" fella as a way of giving presents, and keeping the faith that someone we cannot see is out there, with a gift for all of us. I taught my son about salvation through the crucifixion, the gift of forgiveness and resurrection.. Then I told him that the Santas that we see in the malls are not the real thing. I told him "Santa" is just a made up person, made to keep the magic of Jesus alive. I encouraged him to look at the different santas and tell me what looked differently. He would comment on the skin colors, the beards, the suit fabric, etc.. He knows that Santa is not real. He also appreciates me telling him that. We "believe" in Santa, its just a "faith based" belief system, based more on the promise of God than anything. I think it is nicer to tell your kids the truth than to make them not trust you around one of the holiest holidays of the year.
Sorry wasn't trying to change the subject.. Just making a point about respect and love being two things that people should work towards and put effort into, in order to be able to honestly say that they have it.
all kinds of upset? 
