Affairs

[Bonzi]

Are you speaking from experience?

As I said, monogamy goes against human nature and alcohol allows our true nature to come out.

Not sure about that... but I do believe alcohol intensifies whatever mood you are in.... but you might be right... would explain why there are angry drunks and horny drunks (not much in between either....)

 

[Bonzi]

Here is a song by Reba that sums it up called One Promise Too Late
I would have waited forever
If I'd known that you'd be here
We could have shared our lives together
And held each other close all through the years
But I've met someone before you
And my heart just couldn't wait
So no matter how much I adore you
I've got to stand behind the promise that I made
Where were you
When I could have loved you
Where were you
When I gave my heart away
All my life I've been dreaming of you
You came along one promise too late
You came along one promise too late
I won't say that I'm sorry that I met you
I can't have you but I never will forget you
Where were you
When I could have loved you
Where were you
When I gave my heart away
All my life I've been dreaming of you
You came along one promise too late

If my husband wrote that about someone else, I'd say go for it, as I wouldn't want him anymore. Too me that is worst than a physical affair.

THIS! ^^^

If someone is with me pining away for someone else - fuck that shit!
It IS the biggest FUCK OVER you can do to someone - making them unknowingly live a lie......
If your heart belongs to someone else, you need to leave the person you are with OR tell them and let them decide if they want to live the rest of their life being 2nd place (or worse) in your heart.

That fucking shit pisses me the fuck off!

.... not that I feel strongly about this or anything.....

 

[Muhammed]

I have heard people say, I didn't set out to have an affair ... it just happened.

Do you think this is possible?

Don't you think you know if you have an attraction - and - you have a choice whether to "feed" that attraction or walk away early in the game.....

.... and, if you "feed" the attraction, it's indicative you are not happy in your current relationship.....

So what's going on Bonzi? Thinking about getting some strange?

I think it's funny that anytime you post something, people assume you have some sort of "hidden agenda" (e.g. data mining) or some kind of "veiled" message to the world......

Nope, zero intention of getting strange! (well, I already AM strange....)

I guess we can both agree on that.

 

[iamwhatiseem]

People's opinions on having an affair have a lot in common with Walmart.
Everyone denies going there, all hate it and vow to everyone they would never shop there....yet...WalMart is so popular that they are larger than their next 3 competitors...combined.
As of the last percentage I read a year or so ago...about 1/3rd of all married people...have an affair. 99.9% of them deny it vehemently.
In 26 years of marriage I have never had an affair...sort of... in 2000 we separated for awhile, filed for divorce - the whole thing. During that period, I met someone and ended up doing just that. At the time I totally believed the marriage was dead and gone.

Edit: yes

 

[Bonzi]

People's opinions on having an affair have a lot in common with Walmart.
Everyone denies going there, all hate it and vow to everyone they would never shop there....yet...WalMart is so popular that they are larger than their next 3 competitors...combined.
As of the last percentage I read a year or so ago...about 1/3rd of all married people...have an affair. 99.9% of them deny it vehemently.
In 26 years of marriage I have never had an affair...sort of... in 2000 we separated for awhile, filed for divorce - the whole thing. During that period, I met someone and ended up doing just that. At the time I totally believed the marriage was dead and gone.

Edit: yes

You were not happy.
but are happy now?

 

[iamwhatiseem]

People's opinions on having an affair have a lot in common with Walmart.
Everyone denies going there, all hate it and vow to everyone they would never shop there....yet...WalMart is so popular that they are larger than their next 3 competitors...combined.
As of the last percentage I read a year or so ago...about 1/3rd of all married people...have an affair. 99.9% of them deny it vehemently.
In 26 years of marriage I have never had an affair...sort of... in 2000 we separated for awhile, filed for divorce - the whole thing. During that period, I met someone and ended up doing just that. At the time I totally believed the marriage was dead and gone.

Edit: yes

You were not happy.
but are happy now?

What is happiness?
At 50, I would say happiness is contentment, acceptance of ones lot as well as acceptance, honestly, of living the rest of their life as is.
Are you? I hope so. I honestly do. If not, then I hope you have the courage and ability to change it.
But you asked me, so we will stay with that.
I was not happy, have not been for almost 13 years. I sacrificed my life for the benefit of my children. And I would do it again 1000 times.
Those days are gone. They are grown. And doing extraordinary.
I am not. And neither is my wife.
We both deserve better. We are broken, and most likely beyond repair. That doesn't make us bad people, or failures. It makes us human.
I will find happiness. It is always there. If you have the courage and will to achieve it.

 

[Bonzi]

People's opinions on having an affair have a lot in common with Walmart.
Everyone denies going there, all hate it and vow to everyone they would never shop there....yet...WalMart is so popular that they are larger than their next 3 competitors...combined.
As of the last percentage I read a year or so ago...about 1/3rd of all married people...have an affair. 99.9% of them deny it vehemently.
In 26 years of marriage I have never had an affair...sort of... in 2000 we separated for awhile, filed for divorce - the whole thing. During that period, I met someone and ended up doing just that. At the time I totally believed the marriage was dead and gone.

Edit: yes

You were not happy.
but are happy now?

What is happiness?
At 50, I would say happiness is contentment, acceptance of ones lot as well as acceptance, honestly, of living the rest of their life as is.
Are you? I hope so. I honestly do. If not, then I hope you have the courage and ability to change it.
But you asked me, so we will stay with that.
I was not happy, have not been for almost 13 years. I sacrificed my life for the benefit of my children. And I would do it again 1000 times.
Those days are gone. They are grown. And doing extraordinary.
I am not. And neither is my wife.
We both deserve better. We are broken, and most likely beyond repair. That doesn't make us bad people, or failures. It makes us human.
I will find happiness. It is always there. If you have the courage and will to achieve it.

Very incredibly honest.
I was broken well before my marriage.
Everything I think I'm OK with myself, I'm not - I wish the same courage for you.
Everyone should be happy, but also, we should do the right thing. Often they clash.

 

[Bonzi]

It's interesting to hear people still head over heels in love with their spouses on here....
I'm not so much unhappy with my life, as much as myself for not having the will to change it.
Being a lazy underachiever is a horrible thing.
But knowing that and working with that hand is tricky - and challenging....
I still haven't totally thrown in the towel yet.....

 

[iamwhatiseem]

It's interesting to hear people still head over heels in love with their spouses on here....
I'm not so much unhappy with my life, as much as myself for not having the will to change it.
Being a lazy underachiever is a horrible thing.
But knowing that and working with that hand is tricky - and challenging....
I still haven't totally thrown in the towel yet.....

Hmm....the fact that you recognize things Bonzi makes you half way there.
You clearly have internal struggles, everyone who cares does. If you didn;t care, you wouldn't think these things.
It took me the past three years to realize that the pain of staying with my situation, was greater than the pain of leaving it. But that is me, I would not assume the same for you, but perhaps it is.
Here comes the honest part, of which I hope you realize there is no ulterior motive..Bonzi I see your photos in the Gallery. You are beautiful, you are still young enough now to change whatever you wish to, or believe you should. You said yourself once, you don;t live forever. You don't.
"There is always a choice"...no. There isn;t. You have a choice now, but you not always will.
Again, I don't assume to know your situtaion, or if anything I said even applies. But I perceive it does. But that is just mu opinion. And you can of course do with it as you will.

 

[Gracie]

Mr G and I have a marriage of convenience. He is free to date anyone he wishes. So am I, if I were so inclined which I am not. So..there are gray areas of this. IF I were to meet someone and they "woke me up", so to speak...and IF I did indeed go to bed with them...it would be an affair. It would not be cheating in my opinion. And vice versa with him. In fact, he already has dated a few. Mostly one night stands. I told him to not bring them home, which was my only request.

We divorced for quite a few years but remarried when he got sick. Vultures. Just waiting. They knew we were not married. They want nothing to do with him but if he dies..oh, they will be here circling. So to stop that...oops. MARRIED. Fly away and pick apart another body.

 

[Gracie]

Bonzi I see your photos in the Gallery.

Where? I wanna see the real bonzi but never have. Got a link?
Putting faces to people we all chat with is, is interesting.

 

[iamwhatiseem]

Bonzi I see your photos in the Gallery.

Where? I wanna see the real bonzi but never have. Got a link?
Putting faces to people we all chat with is, is interesting.

Not everyone can see what is in the Gallery...look at the top of the page...see "Gallery"...click it..you will see her..or not.

 

[Gracie]

DAYUM! I knew folks could have their own galleries bu had no clue there was a GALLERY thingy at the top of the page. Duh on me!

Emilymgignigieimum is exactly how I pictured her! Beautiful!
Bonzi? That surprised me. Stunning! Dayum gurrrrrl!
Aye? I don't know what I was expecting but it sure wasnt what I just saw! Another beauty!
And KatSteve looks just like my new roomie! They could be twinsies but my roomie has arms the size of manhattan, lol.