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Correct:80% plus want background checks. This present insanity will end with even more gun violence. People and guns everywhere won't end well. Carry on, nutjob.
What could go wrong?Florida Vying to Become 46th State to Allow Open Carry
Great news. Let me guess last 4....Hawaii,Mass,NY and Cali? That's without looking....as an extra 2 i'll guess Illinois and Connecticut
Anyways...great news hope it passes and armed people are a free people and criminals are a lot less likely to try and rob someone if they think they may get shot for their trouble.
[
Because people who own guns tend to shoot other people.
Amazingly not one of those had ANYTHING to do with a gun! WOW! Imagine that!What could go wrong?Florida Vying to Become 46th State to Allow Open Carry
Great news. Let me guess last 4....Hawaii,Mass,NY and Cali? That's without looking....as an extra 2 i'll guess Illinois and Connecticut
Anyways...great news hope it passes and armed people are a free people and criminals are a lot less likely to try and rob someone if they think they may get shot for their trouble.
1. Florida Man attempts to smoke crack in ICU, almost burns down hospital.
Northwest Florida Daily News: "A 54-year-old man was arrested on Christmas Eve after allegedly taking 'crack cocaine' into the Intensive Care Unit at North Okaloosa Medical Center to share with a patient there.
A fire broke out when the patient, who was on oxygen, tried to smoke the cocaine from a homemade smoking device. 'The potential was there for a lot of damage,' said Crestview police Lt. Donald Fountain. 'It could have been a lot worse.'"
2. Florida Man flashes buttocks at IHOP after impersonating a police officer to get free food.
International Business Times: "Matt Skytta, 55, entered the IHOP around 1 a.m. Friday and told a server who asked if he had money, 'No, but I am a cop, and I get food for free,' according to a police report obtained by the Orlando Sentinel . He then threatened to beat up the IHOP server and shouted, 'Hey buddy!' before dropping his pants and exposing his buttocks to the IHOP employee, according to the Sentinel ."
3. Florida Man bites off neighbor's ear because he wouldn't give him a cigarette.
CBS 12: "'I was helping a friend out and someone decided they wanted to take a chunk out of my ear,' said John Ott, the man who says he was bitten. 'This all started because I wouldn't give him a cigarette. He comes up puts me in a bear hug and next thing I know he's biting my ear.' Ott tells CBS 12 News his 'biting' neighbor yells threats across the street continuously. Ott plans to file for a restraining order."
4. Florida man claims wife was kidnapped by holograms.
Huffington Post: "The man, whose name has not been released, was 'extremely agitated' and holding a baseball bat when officials arrived. He told them that 'the men' abducted his wife and that 'they used holograms to project signals on the walls to get him to do what they wanted and to communicate with each other,' according to a sheriff's report.
"The responding deputy located the woman in question, who was at a nearby mobile home with the man's aunt. The aunt told investigators that the woman was drunk, and that no one had chased her."
5. Drunk Florida Man attempts to ride bike through Taco Bell drive-thru, fights with police.
Daytona Beach News-Journal: "According to the report, Taco Bell workers called police at 3:10 a.m. Sunday after Harris and a woman, both intoxicated, would not leave the restaurant. Police found Harris on a bicycle by the menu speaker, a report states. As police were asking Harris to leave, they spotted a red Swiss Army knife on Harris' belt loop and tried to reach for it. Harris grabbed the officer's wrist and Harris was wrestled to the ground and handcuffed. Harris suffered a scraped forehead, police said."
6. Florida Man inches closer to one-way trip to Mars.
ABC Action News: "A 43-year-old self-employed Tampa man has made it past the first hurdle in a selection process to potentially choose the first team to attempt not only a manned mission to the planet Mars, but its colonization.
"'My heart is there, you know? I want to be a part of this mission,' [he] said. [His] girlfriend said she supports his goal of relocating permanently to Mars. 'If he should go, of course I would be sad, but it's not my style to stand in front of somebody's dream,' she said."
7. Florida Man holds up Domino's delivery man over pizza and wings.
Clayton News Daily: "A Florida man held in Clayton County Jail has been indicted in the July alleged theft of pizza, wings and cash. Prosecutors allege Mack robbed a Domino's Pizza delivery man of pizza, chicken wings and cash at gunpoint July 31."
8. Florida Man escapes adult novelty store with $300 Jenna Jameson doll in tow.
Sorry, Jenna.
Source: Vincent Sandoval/Getty Images
The Smoking Gun: "The suspect walked up to the counter of the Inner Secrets shop in Vero Beach and asked worker Cathryn Morales 'some questions about the doll.' Following the perp's question time, he 'grabbed the doll off the counter and ran out of the store' without paying for the product.
While the Jenna Jameson doll is not further described by investigators, it appears likely that the stolen item was the 'Jenna Jameson Extreme Doll,' a battery-powered model in the likeness of the 39-year-old porn star. Along with a 'vibrating ultra soft mouth,' the full-size Jameson doll, its manufacturer notes, features 'an exquisite lifelike removable pussy and ass.'"
9. Florida Man steals 850 pairs of underwear from Victoria's Secret.
NBC Miami: "'In November of 2013, [Espinosa] stole 300 pieces of Dream Angels women's underwear,' [a judge] said, reading from a report on the case. Espinosa said he has no money in the bank and has lived in South Florida his whole life. 'Thank you,' the judge told Espinosa as he concluded the hearing. 'Don't come back to Victoria's Secret.'"
10. Florida Man really, really wants to force a jury to watch his sex tape.
Sun-Sentinel: "The South Florida man wants to introduce sex tapes and intimate photographs of himself and his wife as evidence in his criminal trial to try to prove that his marriage was real and not just undertaken for immigration purposes. [He] hopes to undermine the prosecution's allegation that he lied about details of his marriage to a Cuban woman to get permanent resident status here. The 25-year U.S. resident said he has visible proof that the couple had a genuine marriage."
11. Elderly Florida Man caught masturbating in McDonald's parking lot, claims his privacy was invaded.
NBC-2: "When deputies arrived, they found a man — later identified as Spencer Toner — sitting in a Mercedes Benz looking at pornographic pictures on a small laptop while masturbating. The deputy knocked on the window of the Mercedes. Toner immediately shut off his laptop and rolled down his window. Toner told deputies he was there to 'get a bite to eat.' Toner told them he was homeless and living out of his car, [and that] they were invading his privacy."
12. Florida Man attacks nephew over undercooked noodles.
Independent Florida Alligator: "At about midnight at Gardenia Gardens Apartments, Newton's nephew told him the noodles Newton made were undercooked, according to the report. Newton started screaming and shoved him in the face. He went to another apartment in the complex, where Newton followed him. They started arguing again, and Newton rushed toward him with the knife while making slashing motions, according to the report. During questioning, Newton said he had been drinking and said it can affect his demeanor. He said the argument never got physical and denied picking up the knife."
13. Florida Man sets apartment complex on fire after manager told him to stop masturbating in front of windows.
The scene of the crime.
Source: Tampa Bay Times
Tampa Bay Times: "He set the blaze, according to police, to get back at the management of the apartment complex, whom he felt had treated him unjustly. His reason: They had recently told him to stop masturbating in front of his open windows and front door, according to police. He was arrested on a charge of first-degree arson and held in the Orient Road Jail without bail."
14. Florida Man arrested for smoking pot in hospital maternity ward.
Gawker: "A nurse in the infant delivery unit at Stuart, Florida's Martin Medical Center called cops after getting a 'whiff of spliff,' according to local weird-news blogger Will Greenlee. That's when they found reeky Jupiter resident David Bastin, chillin', after his girlfriend had been admitted to the ward. Bastin got booked in the Martin County lockup on $1,500 bond and charged with possession of marijuana and drug paraphernalia. No word on whether his girlfriend had a boy or a girl."
15. Florida Man calls 911 to check on his tax return.
Tampa Bay Times: "James Mahoney, of St. Petersburg, called 911 while intoxicated and said he was 'messed up.' When deputies arrived, he was still on the phone with the dispatcher. When deputies asked him why he called 911, he said it was to check on his tax return, an arrest report states."
16. Florida Man convicted of burying ex-reporter in concrete for his "Magic: The Gathering" collection.
New York Daily News: "William Cormier III was so desperate for money that he killed Sean Dugas in the fall of 2012 so he could steal his $100,000 collection of fantasy role-playing cards, prosecutors said. Jurors convicted Cormier of first-degree murder after a little more than an hour of deliberations. Cormier III showed no reaction as the verdict was read. He faces up to life in prison."
17. Florida Man tattoos black widow spider on his face to combat arachnophobia.
Nice.
Source: Daytona Beach News-Journal
Daytona Beach News-Journal: "Eric Ortiz wanted to face his fears. So he tattooed a black widow spider on his face.
"'Everybody fears spiders,' Ortiz said. 'That's why I got it. Just to, like, make me know, that that's what I fear, but not to fear it. You know what I'm saying?' Ortiz, 24, of Deltona, talked about his spider tattoo after appearing in court on a felony charge of driving while license revoked (habitual) at the Volusia County Courthouse in DeLand."
18. Florida Man sent to jail after pouring hot sauce on 3-month-old puppy.
Tampa Bay Tribune: "Officers Jessica Sullivan and Adam Arena washed Gizmo with water and a towel, police said, and the dog was turned over to Animal Services. Gizmo is expected to recover. Officers contacted Myles and they saw a lot of hot sauce on the floor, police said, to which he denied any connection."
19. Florida Men attack ice cream man who wouldn't take $20 bill for pickled sausage.
News 13: "The victim told detectives three men tried to pay for a pickled sausage with a counterfeit $20 bill. When the ice cream man questioned him, he said they pulled out a gun. He tried to wrestle away the gun, but one of the men struck him in the eye."
20. Florida man arrested after urinating on in-law's carpet during Thanksgiving gathering.
Times of Northwestern Indiana: "Norfolk began shouting and told the officer he was kicked out of the nearby home of his girlfriend's brother-in-law. According to police, the brother-in-law said Norfolk was escorted out of the home after urinating on the living room floor.
After continually shouting obscenities, Norfolk was taken into custody and was taken to Porter County Jail where he was charged with resisting law enforcement, disorderly conduct and public intoxication."
21. Florida Man pokes girlfriend in the eye after she served him waffles instead of pancakes.
Gainesville Sun: "James E. Irving Jr., 44, got into a fight with his live-in girlfriend over his birthday present and preferred celebratory breakfast, according to a Gainesville Police Department booking report. Irving wanted pancakes and instead got waffles. To express his disdain, Irving poked his girlfriend in the eye, which prompted a call to the Police Department, the report states."
22. Florida Man attempts to leave store with chainsaw stuffed down his pants.
Source: YouTube
New Port Richey Patch: "The incident in question unfolded before the video cameras at Treasure Coast Lawn Equipment in Port St. Lucie Oct. 28. The daring shoplifter is seen on video stuffing the ill-gotten goods down the front of his shorts and covering up his stash with his shirt. The man then waltzed out of the store, got on a bicycle and rode away. Port St. Lucie Police caught up with the man about 30 minutes later when he attempted to return it to the store after having a change of heart, TC Palm reported."
23. Florida Man offers police officer $3 and chicken dinner for sex.
..... and the list goes on and on and on...
Every shooting victim is shot wounded or killed by someone who owns a gun. Stop it. Enough is enough.[
Because people who own guns tend to shoot other people.
No they don't just like people that own cars don't tend to kill other people in drunk driving accidents.
You are obviously confused about it.
Actually it's you and most others on the right who always want to tell other people what to do.
You want to force women to have children against their will.
You want to deny gay Americans their right to equal protection of the law.
You want to interfere with the right of citizens to vote.
And you want to codify religious dogma into secular law all must obey.
In fact, the gun control measures liberals support are consistent with current Second Amendment jurisprudence, measures that are perfectly Constitutional – unlike you and most others on the right who seek to violate a woman's right to privacy and the right of gay Americans to access marriage law in violation of the Constitution.
Indeed, you and most others on the right are in no position to accuse others of “always want[ing] to tell other people what to do.”
Every shooting victim is shot wounded or killed by someone who owns a gun. Stop it. Enough is enough.[
Because people who own guns tend to shoot other people.
No they don't just like people that own cars don't tend to kill other people in drunk driving accidents.
You are obviously confused about it.
Shoot paper. Shoot delicious animals. Shoot clay pigeons.
For those activities require shot guns, small caliber hand guns and rifles. YOU DO NOT NEED WEAPONS MORE POWERFUL THAN THOSE.
Weapons designed to wreck havoc do not belong on the streets. They belong in the hands of a "well regulated militia". Our constitution is not a suicide pact and our legislative process has been held hostage by an intractable gun lobby too long now. It's high time the Rambo wannabes get their common sense on and quit fantasizing about being vigilantes bent on meeting out their perverted vision of Justice.
The tourist lobby brings million into your state. The gun lobby brings death.God bless Florida for having really good concealed weapon laws.
I have written my State Representative and my Senator advocating my support for open carry.
There is a good chance the law will pass if the despicable tourist lobby doesn't hand out too much money to the politicians to buy their vote.
Correct:80% plus want background checks. This present insanity will end with even more gun violence. People and guns everywhere won't end well. Carry on, nutjob.
“Ninety-two percent of voters, including 92 percent of gun owners and 86 percent of Republicans, support background checks prior to all gun sales, according to a new poll from Quinnipiac University.”
Poll: 92 percent of gun owners support universal background checks
Every shooting victim is shot wounded or killed by someone who owns a gun. Stop it. Enough is enough.[
Because people who own guns tend to shoot other people.
No they don't just like people that own cars don't tend to kill other people in drunk driving accidents.
You are obviously confused about it.
Shoot paper. Shoot delicious animals. Shoot clay pigeons.
For those activities require shot guns, small caliber hand guns and rifles. YOU DO NOT NEED WEAPONS MORE POWERFUL THAN THOSE.
Weapons designed to wreck havoc do not belong on the streets. They belong in the hands of a "well regulated militia". Our constitution is not a suicide pact and our legislative process has been held hostage by an intractable gun lobby too long now. It's high time the Rambo wannabes get their common sense on and quit fantasizing about being vigilantes bent on meeting out their perverted vision of Justice.
Correct:80% plus want background checks. This present insanity will end with even more gun violence. People and guns everywhere won't end well. Carry on, nutjob.
“Ninety-two percent of voters, including 92 percent of gun owners and 86 percent of Republicans, support background checks prior to all gun sales, according to a new poll from Quinnipiac University.”
Poll: 92 percent of gun owners support universal background checks
Link to quote please. Or are you over playing the 'Hitler' card?Every shooting victim is shot wounded or killed by someone who owns a gun. Stop it. Enough is enough.[
Because people who own guns tend to shoot other people.
No they don't just like people that own cars don't tend to kill other people in drunk driving accidents.
You are obviously confused about it.
Shoot paper. Shoot delicious animals. Shoot clay pigeons.
For those activities require shot guns, small caliber hand guns and rifles. YOU DO NOT NEED WEAPONS MORE POWERFUL THAN THOSE.
Weapons designed to wreck havoc do not belong on the streets. They belong in the hands of a "well regulated militia". Our constitution is not a suicide pact and our legislative process has been held hostage by an intractable gun lobby too long now. It's high time the Rambo wannabes get their common sense on and quit fantasizing about being vigilantes bent on meeting out their perverted vision of Justice.
Wow...that is exactly what hitler said...as he was waving to the first train load of Jews going to the death camps....
Correct:80% plus want background checks. This present insanity will end with even more gun violence. People and guns everywhere won't end well. Carry on, nutjob.
“Ninety-two percent of voters, including 92 percent of gun owners and 86 percent of Republicans, support background checks prior to all gun sales, according to a new poll from Quinnipiac University.”
Poll: 92 percent of gun owners support universal background checks
Link to quote please. Or are you over playing the 'Hitler' card?Every shooting victim is shot wounded or killed by someone who owns a gun. Stop it. Enough is enough.[
Because people who own guns tend to shoot other people.
No they don't just like people that own cars don't tend to kill other people in drunk driving accidents.
You are obviously confused about it.
Shoot paper. Shoot delicious animals. Shoot clay pigeons.
For those activities require shot guns, small caliber hand guns and rifles. YOU DO NOT NEED WEAPONS MORE POWERFUL THAN THOSE.
Weapons designed to wreck havoc do not belong on the streets. They belong in the hands of a "well regulated militia". Our constitution is not a suicide pact and our legislative process has been held hostage by an intractable gun lobby too long now. It's high time the Rambo wannabes get their common sense on and quit fantasizing about being vigilantes bent on meeting out their perverted vision of Justice.
Wow...that is exactly what hitler said...as he was waving to the first train load of Jews going to the death camps....
From what you just said, you fear the federal government without even knowing it... The federal government is the country's greatest enemy.i'm several things, but I am not a " pussy" afraid of a tool. I do find it pathetic that you must frame your argument in favor of fear, suspicion, pessimistic and false bravado by calling me names.No idea if they had a gun or not,If I could have defended myself with a gun I would have. The usual thugs don't attack one on one they attack in groups. I would rather be judged by 12 then carried by 6,I would rather be killed trying to defend my family which includes a wife and 3 daughters among my kids from a potential rapist than to claim the "moral high ground" of well at least I wasn't carrying an EVIL GUN! No thanks. Protection comes first,fortunately I haven't needed to use ANY of my weapons,I figure between my size and being aware of the people around me I hope to never use it,but I won't hesitate and I won't have to bury my wife and kids or testify at the trial of someone that tried to rape them because I refused to carry a defensive weapon. I will leave that to you pussies that are scared of a tool.Were you attacked by criminals bearing guns?Only takes once and actually I have been attacked when I was a teen in the ghetto I was living in. Took to carrying a knife after that.How many times have you been attacked?Good for you. I hope it never happens but I sure in the hell would want to be armed so I could defend myself if it did happen....what about you?
I am not afraid of the gun, I am afraid of incompetent Rambo wannabes carrying guns as if they were penis extensions. I a, afraid of a general public packing heat as of this were not 2015 but 1857 Dodge City. I am afraid of an increase in gun violence because there is an increase in the number of open carrying cowboy. I don't trust the instincts of people to be peaceful simply because they think they are, in fact, Dirty Harry.
I am naturally optimistic and I realize my responsibilities. Taking the law into my own hands or allowing a teenage fantasy of b ing a sharp shooting movie hero are outside my imagination and beyond what I should do as a responsible American citizen.
Quietly, Congress extends a ban on CDC research on gun violenceHad the NRA not blocked non-partisan studies by the CDC on gun violence in America, we may have actual statistics to call on rather than a dismissive and unreliable "never happened".A civilian arms race? What happens when all these armed people bump into one another? Will there be fewer assaults, but more shootings? Will there be fewer road rage situations solved by using automobiles and more solved by the exchange of gun fire? Will emergency rooms be treating fewer black eyes and broken bones and more gun shot victims?More & more Americans are deciding to arm themselves. And that's a very wise move. We are moving closer & closer to Third World chaos.
Endless War, Open Borders, a rapidly expanding Police State? Arming yourself to protect you and your loved ones, is the logical common sense move.
Ah! Guns! Is there nothing you cannot do?
The same leftist predictions that never came true after they instituted CCW's in the states.
When CCW's were being debated here, the leftists predicted we would have shootouts in the street like Dodge city. Never happened.
Then they passed our Castle Doctrine which gives homeowners legal rights to defend themselves inside their home with firearms. The leftists predicted people would be dragging enemies into their homes, shooting them, and then telling the police it was a break in. Never happened.
Then they passed a law so CCW holders could keep loaded firearms in their vehicles and within reach. The leftists predicted it would lead to deadly road rage incidents and people would be firing at each other while driving on the highways. Never happened.
Na, not really.He thought Zimmerman was a queer. So he wanted to beat him up. He found out the hard way he was wrong.Yeah right. He should have minded his own business. Kid wasn't doing anything wrong.
This is only speculation on my part, but I studied the case for a long time.
Martin was on the phone with his fat girlfriend when he ran from Zimmerman. Afterwards, he probably regretted his move because (in his mind) he embarrassed himself while she could hear what was going on.
Either she egged Martin on to go back and get Zimmerman, or Martin may have felt he needed to prove himself a tough guy so as to redeem his manhood.
Or more likely he was freaked out over some creeper stalking him.
Nobody stalked anybody. You obviously don't know what the legal definition of stalking is.
But even if that were the case, that doesn't give any American the right to physically attack somebody.
Oh come on. Trayvon was walking home . Zimmerman entered his life . You think it was outrageous that the kid got defensive over some grown man openly following him at night ?
What could go wrong?Florida Vying to Become 46th State to Allow Open Carry
Great news. Let me guess last 4....Hawaii,Mass,NY and Cali? That's without looking....as an extra 2 i'll guess Illinois and Connecticut
Anyways...great news hope it passes and armed people are a free people and criminals are a lot less likely to try and rob someone if they think they may get shot for their trouble.
1. Florida Man attempts to smoke crack in ICU, almost burns down hospital.
Northwest Florida Daily News: "A 54-year-old man was arrested on Christmas Eve after allegedly taking 'crack cocaine' into the Intensive Care Unit at North Okaloosa Medical Center to share with a patient there.
A fire broke out when the patient, who was on oxygen, tried to smoke the cocaine from a homemade smoking device. 'The potential was there for a lot of damage,' said Crestview police Lt. Donald Fountain. 'It could have been a lot worse.'"
2. Florida Man flashes buttocks at IHOP after impersonating a police officer to get free food.
International Business Times: "Matt Skytta, 55, entered the IHOP around 1 a.m. Friday and told a server who asked if he had money, 'No, but I am a cop, and I get food for free,' according to a police report obtained by the Orlando Sentinel . He then threatened to beat up the IHOP server and shouted, 'Hey buddy!' before dropping his pants and exposing his buttocks to the IHOP employee, according to the Sentinel ."
3. Florida Man bites off neighbor's ear because he wouldn't give him a cigarette.
CBS 12: "'I was helping a friend out and someone decided they wanted to take a chunk out of my ear,' said John Ott, the man who says he was bitten. 'This all started because I wouldn't give him a cigarette. He comes up puts me in a bear hug and next thing I know he's biting my ear.' Ott tells CBS 12 News his 'biting' neighbor yells threats across the street continuously. Ott plans to file for a restraining order."
4. Florida man claims wife was kidnapped by holograms.
Huffington Post: "The man, whose name has not been released, was 'extremely agitated' and holding a baseball bat when officials arrived. He told them that 'the men' abducted his wife and that 'they used holograms to project signals on the walls to get him to do what they wanted and to communicate with each other,' according to a sheriff's report.
"The responding deputy located the woman in question, who was at a nearby mobile home with the man's aunt. The aunt told investigators that the woman was drunk, and that no one had chased her."
5. Drunk Florida Man attempts to ride bike through Taco Bell drive-thru, fights with police.
Daytona Beach News-Journal: "According to the report, Taco Bell workers called police at 3:10 a.m. Sunday after Harris and a woman, both intoxicated, would not leave the restaurant. Police found Harris on a bicycle by the menu speaker, a report states. As police were asking Harris to leave, they spotted a red Swiss Army knife on Harris' belt loop and tried to reach for it. Harris grabbed the officer's wrist and Harris was wrestled to the ground and handcuffed. Harris suffered a scraped forehead, police said."
6. Florida Man inches closer to one-way trip to Mars.
ABC Action News: "A 43-year-old self-employed Tampa man has made it past the first hurdle in a selection process to potentially choose the first team to attempt not only a manned mission to the planet Mars, but its colonization.
"'My heart is there, you know? I want to be a part of this mission,' [he] said. [His] girlfriend said she supports his goal of relocating permanently to Mars. 'If he should go, of course I would be sad, but it's not my style to stand in front of somebody's dream,' she said."
7. Florida Man holds up Domino's delivery man over pizza and wings.
Clayton News Daily: "A Florida man held in Clayton County Jail has been indicted in the July alleged theft of pizza, wings and cash. Prosecutors allege Mack robbed a Domino's Pizza delivery man of pizza, chicken wings and cash at gunpoint July 31."
8. Florida Man escapes adult novelty store with $300 Jenna Jameson doll in tow.
Sorry, Jenna.
Source: Vincent Sandoval/Getty Images
The Smoking Gun: "The suspect walked up to the counter of the Inner Secrets shop in Vero Beach and asked worker Cathryn Morales 'some questions about the doll.' Following the perp's question time, he 'grabbed the doll off the counter and ran out of the store' without paying for the product.
While the Jenna Jameson doll is not further described by investigators, it appears likely that the stolen item was the 'Jenna Jameson Extreme Doll,' a battery-powered model in the likeness of the 39-year-old porn star. Along with a 'vibrating ultra soft mouth,' the full-size Jameson doll, its manufacturer notes, features 'an exquisite lifelike removable pussy and ass.'"
9. Florida Man steals 850 pairs of underwear from Victoria's Secret.
NBC Miami: "'In November of 2013, [Espinosa] stole 300 pieces of Dream Angels women's underwear,' [a judge] said, reading from a report on the case. Espinosa said he has no money in the bank and has lived in South Florida his whole life. 'Thank you,' the judge told Espinosa as he concluded the hearing. 'Don't come back to Victoria's Secret.'"
10. Florida Man really, really wants to force a jury to watch his sex tape.
Sun-Sentinel: "The South Florida man wants to introduce sex tapes and intimate photographs of himself and his wife as evidence in his criminal trial to try to prove that his marriage was real and not just undertaken for immigration purposes. [He] hopes to undermine the prosecution's allegation that he lied about details of his marriage to a Cuban woman to get permanent resident status here. The 25-year U.S. resident said he has visible proof that the couple had a genuine marriage."
11. Elderly Florida Man caught masturbating in McDonald's parking lot, claims his privacy was invaded.
NBC-2: "When deputies arrived, they found a man — later identified as Spencer Toner — sitting in a Mercedes Benz looking at pornographic pictures on a small laptop while masturbating. The deputy knocked on the window of the Mercedes. Toner immediately shut off his laptop and rolled down his window. Toner told deputies he was there to 'get a bite to eat.' Toner told them he was homeless and living out of his car, [and that] they were invading his privacy."
12. Florida Man attacks nephew over undercooked noodles.
Independent Florida Alligator: "At about midnight at Gardenia Gardens Apartments, Newton's nephew told him the noodles Newton made were undercooked, according to the report. Newton started screaming and shoved him in the face. He went to another apartment in the complex, where Newton followed him. They started arguing again, and Newton rushed toward him with the knife while making slashing motions, according to the report. During questioning, Newton said he had been drinking and said it can affect his demeanor. He said the argument never got physical and denied picking up the knife."
13. Florida Man sets apartment complex on fire after manager told him to stop masturbating in front of windows.
The scene of the crime.
Source: Tampa Bay Times
Tampa Bay Times: "He set the blaze, according to police, to get back at the management of the apartment complex, whom he felt had treated him unjustly. His reason: They had recently told him to stop masturbating in front of his open windows and front door, according to police. He was arrested on a charge of first-degree arson and held in the Orient Road Jail without bail."
14. Florida Man arrested for smoking pot in hospital maternity ward.
Gawker: "A nurse in the infant delivery unit at Stuart, Florida's Martin Medical Center called cops after getting a 'whiff of spliff,' according to local weird-news blogger Will Greenlee. That's when they found reeky Jupiter resident David Bastin, chillin', after his girlfriend had been admitted to the ward. Bastin got booked in the Martin County lockup on $1,500 bond and charged with possession of marijuana and drug paraphernalia. No word on whether his girlfriend had a boy or a girl."
15. Florida Man calls 911 to check on his tax return.
Tampa Bay Times: "James Mahoney, of St. Petersburg, called 911 while intoxicated and said he was 'messed up.' When deputies arrived, he was still on the phone with the dispatcher. When deputies asked him why he called 911, he said it was to check on his tax return, an arrest report states."
16. Florida Man convicted of burying ex-reporter in concrete for his "Magic: The Gathering" collection.
New York Daily News: "William Cormier III was so desperate for money that he killed Sean Dugas in the fall of 2012 so he could steal his $100,000 collection of fantasy role-playing cards, prosecutors said. Jurors convicted Cormier of first-degree murder after a little more than an hour of deliberations. Cormier III showed no reaction as the verdict was read. He faces up to life in prison."
17. Florida Man tattoos black widow spider on his face to combat arachnophobia.
Nice.
Source: Daytona Beach News-Journal
Daytona Beach News-Journal: "Eric Ortiz wanted to face his fears. So he tattooed a black widow spider on his face.
"'Everybody fears spiders,' Ortiz said. 'That's why I got it. Just to, like, make me know, that that's what I fear, but not to fear it. You know what I'm saying?' Ortiz, 24, of Deltona, talked about his spider tattoo after appearing in court on a felony charge of driving while license revoked (habitual) at the Volusia County Courthouse in DeLand."
18. Florida Man sent to jail after pouring hot sauce on 3-month-old puppy.
Tampa Bay Tribune: "Officers Jessica Sullivan and Adam Arena washed Gizmo with water and a towel, police said, and the dog was turned over to Animal Services. Gizmo is expected to recover. Officers contacted Myles and they saw a lot of hot sauce on the floor, police said, to which he denied any connection."
19. Florida Men attack ice cream man who wouldn't take $20 bill for pickled sausage.
News 13: "The victim told detectives three men tried to pay for a pickled sausage with a counterfeit $20 bill. When the ice cream man questioned him, he said they pulled out a gun. He tried to wrestle away the gun, but one of the men struck him in the eye."
20. Florida man arrested after urinating on in-law's carpet during Thanksgiving gathering.
Times of Northwestern Indiana: "Norfolk began shouting and told the officer he was kicked out of the nearby home of his girlfriend's brother-in-law. According to police, the brother-in-law said Norfolk was escorted out of the home after urinating on the living room floor.
After continually shouting obscenities, Norfolk was taken into custody and was taken to Porter County Jail where he was charged with resisting law enforcement, disorderly conduct and public intoxication."
21. Florida Man pokes girlfriend in the eye after she served him waffles instead of pancakes.
Gainesville Sun: "James E. Irving Jr., 44, got into a fight with his live-in girlfriend over his birthday present and preferred celebratory breakfast, according to a Gainesville Police Department booking report. Irving wanted pancakes and instead got waffles. To express his disdain, Irving poked his girlfriend in the eye, which prompted a call to the Police Department, the report states."
22. Florida Man attempts to leave store with chainsaw stuffed down his pants.
Source: YouTube
New Port Richey Patch: "The incident in question unfolded before the video cameras at Treasure Coast Lawn Equipment in Port St. Lucie Oct. 28. The daring shoplifter is seen on video stuffing the ill-gotten goods down the front of his shorts and covering up his stash with his shirt. The man then waltzed out of the store, got on a bicycle and rode away. Port St. Lucie Police caught up with the man about 30 minutes later when he attempted to return it to the store after having a change of heart, TC Palm reported."
23. Florida Man offers police officer $3 and chicken dinner for sex.
..... and the list goes on and on and on...
