Is Violence Against Women EVER Justified?

[earlycuyler]

Oh, and women do go to jail and get convicted of spousal abuse. It just does not make the news much, and guys dont report it as much.

 

[JakeStarkey]

Men, I am sure, do more spousal abuse than women. But I have no doubt that female abuse of male spouses goes under reported. I suspect that the number of lesbian-lesbian abuse cases are vastly under reported, considering the prevalence of alcoholism in lesbian relationships. Let's need even talk about gays, alcohol, and the bath house round house parties and abuse.

 

[Gadawg73]

Worked a case years ago where a woman was charged with domestic violence, hired an attorney and admitted to it and took a plea.
The majority of men that are victims of domestic abuse by women never report it due to embarassment.
I asked the guy how come he did not defend himself and hit her back.
"I was afraid if I hit her once it would feel so right and good I would never be able to stop"
Worked another case recently where the head of the family violence center here wanted the husband charged with "economic harassment" because he ripped up his wife's credit cards.

I know guys who have wives that are so bad with money. Is the vajayjay worth it? I would never marry a woman who wasn't responsible with our money. I wouldn't marry a woman who didn't have a 401K, good paying job, savings account. If she's in debt, she will never make it beyond bootycall. A lot of women expect a guy to come along and save them. I have a neighbor upstairs in my condos who even admits it. She's 40 now and said she never expected to still be single. And she hasn't saved a dime. She's expecting a guy to come along and bail her out. Otherwise, how will she ever retire? And the funny thing is, she's hot. But she's got such a disagreeable personality and its all about her. And she tells the same stories over and over again like they are new. Blablabla. Man some guy is going to be desperate for some poontang to deal with her.

Back in the day when you charged something on a credit card there was no such thing as swiping your card. They had that machine where they made an impression of your card and rolled a metal bar across of it. Years ago buddy of mine had a trophy wive that wore out the numbers on all her charge cards she used them so much so he divorced her. He stayed lonely and single for a while. I told him to go find a fat chick with a good personality and a good job. He did as she is an insurance broker and they have been married for 20 years. I am lucky. My better half that I have been married to for 36 years knows more about $$ than I do and I have 2 business degrees and she still looks 39 at age 55.

 

[Gadawg73]

Men, I am sure, do more spousal abuse than women. But I have no doubt that female abuse of male spouses goes under reported. I suspect that the number of lesbian-lesbian abuse cases are vastly under reported, considering the prevalence of alcoholism in lesbian relationships. Let's need even talk about gays, alcohol, and the bath house round house parties and abuse.

Never heard about prevalence of alcoholism in lesbian relationships.
Most alcoholism is genetic. But it is one of the few "diseases" that folk with no arms have to worry about.
No offense to you but I do not believe that lesbian alcoholism statement. Sounds like a tale to me.

 

[JakeStarkey]

Men, I am sure, do more spousal abuse than women. But I have no doubt that female abuse of male spouses goes under reported. I suspect that the number of lesbian-lesbian abuse cases are vastly under reported, considering the prevalence of alcoholism in lesbian relationships. Let's noteven talk about gays, alcohol, and the bath house round house parties and abuse.

Never heard about prevalence of alcoholism in lesbian relationships. Most alcoholism is genetic. But it is one of the few "diseases" that folk with no arms have to worry about. No offense to you but I do not believe that lesbian alcoholism statement. Sounds like a tale to me.

Not from my experience, but that is anecdotal to the amount of alcohol in the lesbian scene in SLC in the post office culture, so you may be right.

 

[JakeStarkey]

I know a HS teacher that does not permit girls under any circumstances to punch boys in class. After three girls had to go with the school security officer downtown to the police office and wait for their parents, he has had no problems the last two years.

His rules are simple: be polite, hands off in class.

 

[Sallow]

So I was having a discussion with the wife about if and when it is ever ok for a man to hit a women. Now the stereotypical answer is “never”. But is that really realistic? Let me toss out some scenarios where a man hit a women. Each of these I have personally witnessed (no I wasn’t the one doing the hitting) and in each case I felt the girl got exactly what she deserved.

Example 1: A buddy of mine had a girlfriend who made no secret that in her opinion she could hit him as much as she wanted because the moment he dared to hit back he would go to jail instead of her and no court would ever convict a woman of being abusive toward a man. I mean she actually bragged about it. She beat on that guy like a drum constantly until one day he finally had enough and “returned the treatment”. (Note: He would have simply left her but they had a child together and he couldn’t leave the child with an abusive woman until he could prove in court she was abusive – eventually that did happen.)

Example 2: To make a long story short, a beautiful woman stole our table at a crowded bar. My brother asked her politely to leave several times and offered to buy her a drink if she would depart. She refused every time told him “beautiful women only take orders when they feel like it so there’s not much you can do about it is there?” and then she blew smoke in his face. He asked her to leave again and warned her that if she blew smoke in his face again he would punch her dead in the face. She said “oh really? I dare you”, leaned directly into his face and exhaled a cloud of smoke around my brothers head….he broke her nose.

Example 3: A woman stood behind her boyfriend screaming at this other guy calling him every name in the book, making reference to his questionable parentage…I mean you name it and she said it. Her boyfriend stood between them and although he wasn’t being aggressive toward the other guy neither was he telling his girlfriend to shut the hell up either. Finally her boyfriend said “you will have to go through me first to shut her up”. The guy said “I accept your terms” and after he beat the shit out of her boyfriend he walked up to the women and punched her dead in the mouth and told her “you got your boyfriends ass kicked you should share his pain.”

Now as I said…..these were thing I witnessed where I said to myself “normally I would never endorse violence of any kind let alone against women…..but in this case….the bitch was begging for it.”

I welcome thoughts.

Basically..a man who is attacked should be able to use enough force to stop the attack..and no more. Men are much stronger then women.

 

[Gadawg73]

Men, I am sure, do more spousal abuse than women. But I have no doubt that female abuse of male spouses goes under reported. I suspect that the number of lesbian-lesbian abuse cases are vastly under reported, considering the prevalence of alcoholism in lesbian relationships. Let's noteven talk about gays, alcohol, and the bath house round house parties and abuse.

Never heard about prevalence of alcoholism in lesbian relationships. Most alcoholism is genetic. But it is one of the few "diseases" that folk with no arms have to worry about. No offense to you but I do not believe that lesbian alcoholism statement. Sounds like a tale to me.

Not from my experience, but that is anecdotal to the amount of alcohol in the lesbian scene in SLC in the post office culture, so you may be right.

Worked a # of domestic abuse cases over the years.
A man's risk of being attacked by a partner is the same as a womans-28%.
Amazingly the rate of alcoholism amongst adults is about the same also not % wise but proportionately.
While alcoholic men committ the vast amount of rapes, alcoholic women account for the vast majority of false claims of rape.
Doug Thorburn "Alcoholism Myths and Realities"

 

[JakeStarkey]

So I was having a discussion with the wife about if and when it is ever ok for a man to hit a women. Now the stereotypical answer is “never”. But is that really realistic? Let me toss out some scenarios where a man hit a women. Each of these I have personally witnessed (no I wasn’t the one doing the hitting) and in each case I felt the girl got exactly what she deserved.

Example 1: A buddy of mine had a girlfriend who made no secret that in her opinion she could hit him as much as she wanted because the moment he dared to hit back he would go to jail instead of her and no court would ever convict a woman of being abusive toward a man. I mean she actually bragged about it. She beat on that guy like a drum constantly until one day he finally had enough and “returned the treatment”. (Note: He would have simply left her but they had a child together and he couldn’t leave the child with an abusive woman until he could prove in court she was abusive – eventually that did happen.)

Example 2: To make a long story short, a beautiful woman stole our table at a crowded bar. My brother asked her politely to leave several times and offered to buy her a drink if she would depart. She refused every time told him “beautiful women only take orders when they feel like it so there’s not much you can do about it is there?” and then she blew smoke in his face. He asked her to leave again and warned her that if she blew smoke in his face again he would punch her dead in the face. She said “oh really? I dare you”, leaned directly into his face and exhaled a cloud of smoke around my brothers head….he broke her nose.

Example 3: A woman stood behind her boyfriend screaming at this other guy calling him every name in the book, making reference to his questionable parentage…I mean you name it and she said it. Her boyfriend stood between them and although he wasn’t being aggressive toward the other guy neither was he telling his girlfriend to shut the hell up either. Finally her boyfriend said “you will have to go through me first to shut her up”. The guy said “I accept your terms” and after he beat the shit out of her boyfriend he walked up to the women and punched her dead in the mouth and told her “you got your boyfriends ass kicked you should share his pain.”

Now as I said…..these were thing I witnessed where I said to myself “normally I would never endorse violence of any kind let alone against women…..but in this case….the bitch was begging for it.”

I welcome thoughts.

Basically..a man who is attacked should be able to use enough force to stop the attack..and no more. Men are much stronger then women.

The least necessary amount of force, I agree, Sallow.

Along with teaching boys not to hit girls, we need to stress girls that punching boys is wrong also. "They can take it" is a stupid excuse and reveals the girl saying considers herself not his equal.

 

[Gadawg73]

So I was having a discussion with the wife about if and when it is ever ok for a man to hit a women. Now the stereotypical answer is “never”. But is that really realistic? Let me toss out some scenarios where a man hit a women. Each of these I have personally witnessed (no I wasn’t the one doing the hitting) and in each case I felt the girl got exactly what she deserved.

Example 1: A buddy of mine had a girlfriend who made no secret that in her opinion she could hit him as much as she wanted because the moment he dared to hit back he would go to jail instead of her and no court would ever convict a woman of being abusive toward a man. I mean she actually bragged about it. She beat on that guy like a drum constantly until one day he finally had enough and “returned the treatment”. (Note: He would have simply left her but they had a child together and he couldn’t leave the child with an abusive woman until he could prove in court she was abusive – eventually that did happen.)

Example 2: To make a long story short, a beautiful woman stole our table at a crowded bar. My brother asked her politely to leave several times and offered to buy her a drink if she would depart. She refused every time told him “beautiful women only take orders when they feel like it so there’s not much you can do about it is there?” and then she blew smoke in his face. He asked her to leave again and warned her that if she blew smoke in his face again he would punch her dead in the face. She said “oh really? I dare you”, leaned directly into his face and exhaled a cloud of smoke around my brothers head….he broke her nose.

Example 3: A woman stood behind her boyfriend screaming at this other guy calling him every name in the book, making reference to his questionable parentage…I mean you name it and she said it. Her boyfriend stood between them and although he wasn’t being aggressive toward the other guy neither was he telling his girlfriend to shut the hell up either. Finally her boyfriend said “you will have to go through me first to shut her up”. The guy said “I accept your terms” and after he beat the shit out of her boyfriend he walked up to the women and punched her dead in the mouth and told her “you got your boyfriends ass kicked you should share his pain.”

Now as I said…..these were thing I witnessed where I said to myself “normally I would never endorse violence of any kind let alone against women…..but in this case….the bitch was begging for it.”

I welcome thoughts.

Basically..a man who is attacked should be able to use enough force to stop the attack..and no more. Men are much stronger then women.

Not all men. If less than 1% were not as strong as their female partner then they have to be protected also.
We are a nation of laws where the minority is to respected and protected.

 

[Sallow]

So I was having a discussion with the wife about if and when it is ever ok for a man to hit a women. Now the stereotypical answer is “never”. But is that really realistic? Let me toss out some scenarios where a man hit a women. Each of these I have personally witnessed (no I wasn’t the one doing the hitting) and in each case I felt the girl got exactly what she deserved.

Example 1: A buddy of mine had a girlfriend who made no secret that in her opinion she could hit him as much as she wanted because the moment he dared to hit back he would go to jail instead of her and no court would ever convict a woman of being abusive toward a man. I mean she actually bragged about it. She beat on that guy like a drum constantly until one day he finally had enough and “returned the treatment”. (Note: He would have simply left her but they had a child together and he couldn’t leave the child with an abusive woman until he could prove in court she was abusive – eventually that did happen.)

Example 2: To make a long story short, a beautiful woman stole our table at a crowded bar. My brother asked her politely to leave several times and offered to buy her a drink if she would depart. She refused every time told him “beautiful women only take orders when they feel like it so there’s not much you can do about it is there?” and then she blew smoke in his face. He asked her to leave again and warned her that if she blew smoke in his face again he would punch her dead in the face. She said “oh really? I dare you”, leaned directly into his face and exhaled a cloud of smoke around my brothers head….he broke her nose.

Example 3: A woman stood behind her boyfriend screaming at this other guy calling him every name in the book, making reference to his questionable parentage…I mean you name it and she said it. Her boyfriend stood between them and although he wasn’t being aggressive toward the other guy neither was he telling his girlfriend to shut the hell up either. Finally her boyfriend said “you will have to go through me first to shut her up”. The guy said “I accept your terms” and after he beat the shit out of her boyfriend he walked up to the women and punched her dead in the mouth and told her “you got your boyfriends ass kicked you should share his pain.”

Now as I said…..these were thing I witnessed where I said to myself “normally I would never endorse violence of any kind let alone against women…..but in this case….the bitch was begging for it.”

I welcome thoughts.

Basically..a man who is attacked should be able to use enough force to stop the attack..and no more. Men are much stronger then women.

The least necessary amount of force, I agree, Sallow.

Along with teaching boys not to hit girls, we need to stress girls that punching boys is wrong also. "They can take it" is a stupid excuse and reveals the girl saying considers herself not his equal.

Speaking from experience here. My ex-wife tried to kill herself with a butcher knife on one occassion..and I had to wrestle the knife away from here. That wasn't easy. On another occassion she cold cocked me with a heavy stone statue and began pounding it into my cranium.

Good times.

 

[Unkotare]

If you weren't a such a little wuss...

 

[BDBoop]

If you weren't a such a little wuss...

And you're only a big man on the internet, so shut it.

 

[High_Gravity]

Basically..a man who is attacked should be able to use enough force to stop the attack..and no more. Men are much stronger then women.

The least necessary amount of force, I agree, Sallow.

Along with teaching boys not to hit girls, we need to stress girls that punching boys is wrong also. "They can take it" is a stupid excuse and reveals the girl saying considers herself not his equal.

Speaking from experience here. My ex-wife tried to kill herself with a butcher knife on one occassion..and I had to wrestle the knife away from here. That wasn't easy. On another occassion she cold cocked me with a heavy stone statue and began pounding it into my cranium.

Good times.

Good god.

 

[High_Gravity]

Most cops are overworked and underpaid, they really don't want to arrest you unless you give them reason to, when I was in the service I got into a fist fight with a meth head who was trying to go across the bar and attack a female bartender, I punched him in his fuckin face and the police got there quick, they handcuffed both of us but after talking to witnesses they found out that the other guy started it and they let me go, the other guy was cussing and kicking things so they took him in because he was belligerent.

Well I can tell you that the laws are quite different from state to state. In Arizona they are flat out ridiculous. If the police are called for a domestic dispute someone is going to jail...end of story. They will decide who it is when they get there but by law they have to arrest someone. They passed that law just in the last few years because too often they would go to the house and it was just an argument at that point and then they would leave and someone would end up dead or severely fucked up. So in order to enforce that law basically anything that is considered aggressive is now considered "domestic violence" in Arizona. Something as small as telling your wife "you are really being a bitch right now" is enough for them to charge you with domestic violence. It's insane.

That sounds like the Military security forces, whenever they are called out to a domestic violence scene they HAVE to arrest the Military member, they don't have a choice.

 

[BDBoop]

Men, I am sure, do more spousal abuse than women. But I have no doubt that female abuse of male spouses goes under reported. I suspect that the number of lesbian-lesbian abuse cases are vastly under reported, considering the prevalence of alcoholism in lesbian relationships. Let's need even talk about gays, alcohol, and the bath house round house parties and abuse.

Never heard about prevalence of alcoholism in lesbian relationships.
Most alcoholism is genetic. But it is one of the few "diseases" that folk with no arms have to worry about.
No offense to you but I do not believe that lesbian alcoholism statement. Sounds like a tale to me.

I have a funny one on that front. My sister is a lesbian, and she's an alcoholic. She had an alcohol problem before she knew she was a lesbian, for what it's worth. Any rate, we found our birth father's family of origin, and I was talking to my dad's nephew. (My mom had always claimed dad was a heavy drinker, but you know people, history, and nobody around to contradict, soooo....) I asked him if my dad was a drinker. He said "Well, isn't everybody?" And that's how I found out the paternal side is riddled with addiction.

She was so relieved to find out that she came by it honestly (as she put it).

 

[Dr.Drock]

Men, I am sure, do more spousal abuse than women. But I have no doubt that female abuse of male spouses goes under reported. I suspect that the number of lesbian-lesbian abuse cases are vastly under reported, considering the prevalence of alcoholism in lesbian relationships. Let's need even talk about gays, alcohol, and the bath house round house parties and abuse.

Never heard about prevalence of alcoholism in lesbian relationships.
Most alcoholism is genetic. But it is one of the few "diseases" that folk with no arms have to worry about.
No offense to you but I do not believe that lesbian alcoholism statement. Sounds like a tale to me.

I have a funny one on that front. My sister is a lesbian, and she's an alcoholic. She had an alcohol problem before she knew she was a lesbian, for what it's worth. Any rate, we found our birth father's family of origin, and I was talking to my dad's nephew. (My mom had always claimed dad was a heavy drinker, but you know people, history, and nobody around to contradict, soooo....) I asked him if my dad was a drinker. He said "Well, isn't everybody?" And that's how I found out the paternal side is riddled with addiction.

She was so relieved to find out that she came by it honestly (as she put it).

Hopefully she uses that knowledge to understand it's a disease that requires treatment and not as an excuse to not fix it.

Hope it all works out or is working out .

 

[BDBoop]

So I was having a discussion with the wife about if and when it is ever ok for a man to hit a women. Now the stereotypical answer is “never”. But is that really realistic? Let me toss out some scenarios where a man hit a women. Each of these I have personally witnessed (no I wasn’t the one doing the hitting) and in each case I felt the girl got exactly what she deserved.

Example 1: A buddy of mine had a girlfriend who made no secret that in her opinion she could hit him as much as she wanted because the moment he dared to hit back he would go to jail instead of her and no court would ever convict a woman of being abusive toward a man. I mean she actually bragged about it. She beat on that guy like a drum constantly until one day he finally had enough and “returned the treatment”. (Note: He would have simply left her but they had a child together and he couldn’t leave the child with an abusive woman until he could prove in court she was abusive – eventually that did happen.)

Example 2: To make a long story short, a beautiful woman stole our table at a crowded bar. My brother asked her politely to leave several times and offered to buy her a drink if she would depart. She refused every time told him “beautiful women only take orders when they feel like it so there’s not much you can do about it is there?” and then she blew smoke in his face. He asked her to leave again and warned her that if she blew smoke in his face again he would punch her dead in the face. She said “oh really? I dare you”, leaned directly into his face and exhaled a cloud of smoke around my brothers head….he broke her nose.

Example 3: A woman stood behind her boyfriend screaming at this other guy calling him every name in the book, making reference to his questionable parentage…I mean you name it and she said it. Her boyfriend stood between them and although he wasn’t being aggressive toward the other guy neither was he telling his girlfriend to shut the hell up either. Finally her boyfriend said “you will have to go through me first to shut her up”. The guy said “I accept your terms” and after he beat the shit out of her boyfriend he walked up to the women and punched her dead in the mouth and told her “you got your boyfriends ass kicked you should share his pain.”

Now as I said…..these were thing I witnessed where I said to myself “normally I would never endorse violence of any kind let alone against women…..but in this case….the bitch was begging for it.”

I welcome thoughts.

Basically..a man who is attacked should be able to use enough force to stop the attack..and no more. Men are much stronger then women.

The least necessary amount of force, I agree, Sallow.

Along with teaching boys not to hit girls, we need to stress girls that punching boys is wrong also. "They can take it" is a stupid excuse and reveals the girl saying considers herself not his equal.

Tell me about it. My daughter's dad was 6'5". I'd go to pick her up in the nursery, and it was like she was the Jolly Green Giant surrounded by little sprouts. Anyway, one day she's down at the bus stop, first grade I think. I look out the window. She's picked a boy up, his arms are pinned to his sides, and she is spinning him around. I yelled out the window "TIARA, PUT HIM DOWN THIS INSTANT!" She yells back "Mom, I was hugging him!" I yelled back "IF YOU'D BEEN HUGGING HIM, HIS ARMS WOULD HAVE BEEN FREE TO HUG YOU BACK. PUT HIM DOWN!!" So she did.

 

[BluePhantom]

Basically..a man who is attacked should be able to use enough force to stop the attack..and no more. Men are much stronger then women.

Not all men. If less than 1% were not as strong as their female partner then they have to be protected also.
We are a nation of laws where the minority is to respected and protected.

Well that's one of the points I was making earlier. When we think of a man hitting a women the picture in our mind is a beautiful, delicate woman and a troglodyte man. That's not always the case. Now yes, on average men are stronger than women and do more damage; no argument there. But the question was "is it EVER justified"...meaning "are there any circumstances whatsoever where we may say 'ok here's the exception to the rule'"?

I had a friend in Arizona and she was a tiny little thing: 5'2" maybe 105 lbs and cute as a button. But let me tell you, you did not fuck with that girl. She was highly trained in Krav Maga and she took great pride in the knowledge that she could kick a man's ass. I had to go bail her out of jail one night because she put her boyfriend (nearly twice her size) through a wall and broke both of his arms. She and I were just messing around one night talking and I bet her I could touch her face through her defenses....pffft....she twisted me into a pretzel and I was damned lucky we were just playing around.

Now she was also a heavy drinker and VERY aggressive when drunk. If that particular girl came at you aggressively and all you tried to do was to cover your face, you're going to end up with a few broken bones. So I don't think the answer is quite so black and white because there are all kinds of women in the world, not just pretty blonde ones with blue eyes...and even then (as the case with my friend) looks can be very deceiving.

 

[BDBoop]

Never heard about prevalence of alcoholism in lesbian relationships.
Most alcoholism is genetic. But it is one of the few "diseases" that folk with no arms have to worry about.
No offense to you but I do not believe that lesbian alcoholism statement. Sounds like a tale to me.

I have a funny one on that front. My sister is a lesbian, and she's an alcoholic. She had an alcohol problem before she knew she was a lesbian, for what it's worth. Any rate, we found our birth father's family of origin, and I was talking to my dad's nephew. (My mom had always claimed dad was a heavy drinker, but you know people, history, and nobody around to contradict, soooo....) I asked him if my dad was a drinker. He said "Well, isn't everybody?" And that's how I found out the paternal side is riddled with addiction.

She was so relieved to find out that she came by it honestly (as she put it).

Hopefully she uses that knowledge to understand it's a disease that requires treatment and not as an excuse to not fix it.

Hope it all works out or is working out .

She's been sober over 30 years. I am very proud of her. She also quit smoking, after trying several times (she started at 13). But of course, it's alcoholism, so she just keeps fighting the good fight.