Merrick Garland announces Merrick Garland will not prosecute Merrick Garland for Merrick Garland’s crimes

[Votto]

Merrick Garland today said that, he, Merrick Garland will not prosecute himself, Merrick Garland, for Merrick Garland crimes for being held in contempt of Congress. Merrick provided a statement for the media, "Sure, other people have been jailed for this, but they are not Merrick. Merrick had no ill will towards anyone like those other hoodlums."

Looking into a mirror Merrick Garland had a 5-minute conversation with himself in a press interview, stating he had no idea he was so handsome, stating, "Merrick agrees with me on this"

But if needed, Merrick Garland agreed to prosecute Merrick if asked to do so by Merrick, but only if Merrick unearthed evidence against Garland.

"It's not like I'm a bad Nazi bookkeeper like Trump", said Garland. "Besides, you can't prosecute Merrick because Merrick IS justice. See, it makes no sense to prosecute justice. For you see, I was destined to either be on the Supreme court to interpret what justice means, or here at the DOJ to implement justice for the nation. Yes dear friends, I'm all that!"

"Besides", said Garland, "I already threw crackhead Hunter in jail that proves I'm not partial politically on anything".

 

[TroglocratsRdumb]

The Dirty Democrats investigate themselves and then clear themselves of any wrongdoing.

 

[Votto]

The Dirty Democrats investigate themselves and then clear themselves of any wrongdoing.

They are just workaholics is all.