My plans have failed

[miketx]

About 5 days ago my yard was in dire need of being cut because we have had a ton of rain due to carbon dioxide increases and a .4 thru 1.2 C degree increase in global temperatures, which as we all know is global warming caused by man. Why do women get off so easy? This .4 thru 1.2 degrees C increase will no doubt cause a harsh heating increase, or depending on which fake news you subscribe to, a horrid winter like we had in 1816. But I digress, and started to mow the yard even though it looked like rain. Well, halfway through the mowing it started to rain, not real hard but gradually increasing. So I raised the deck on the mower to make cutting the wet stuff easier and as I finished the last part it poured.

Well it didn't look like a good job because in my haste I missed a few spots but it was raining! So we had 1.36 inches of rain the next day and we were soaked and flooded. Fast forward to this morning where is was partly cloudy with mostly blue sky. Me and my my wife were sitting talking about going to mow when we heard thunder. So loud my cat nearly crapped his yellow ass! We jumped up and went to work under still mostly blue sky and not 5 minutes later we were in a downpour! Sky still blue in lots of places! So my plan has once again failed. So later I figure me and a few pals will get likkered up, go out and night stick some colored folk and then misogynize some wimmins! Won't be a total loss at least, huh?

PS, I never heard the wife say so many meskin expletives as I did today!

 

[Marion Morrison]

Mow when you can, It's that time of year. I'm all done for around a week, yeah, the sky is cracking seriously. I live in the lightning capitol of the US.

It's sunny, but the clouds are over there, coming this way, and the sky is cracking serious business. It's best not to play with lightning.

 

[blastoff]

Mow when you can, It's that time of year. I'm all done for around a week, yeah, the sky is cracking seriously. I live in the lightning capitol of the US.

It's sunny, but the clouds are over there, coming this way, and the sky is cracking serious business. It's best not to play with lightning.

What a wuss. Don’t fear lightning, control it! If need be, find a trusty 1 Iron at a garage/yard sale, flea market, etc. and hold that sucker high in the air whenever that crackin’ starts and your lightning strike safety is guaranteed, at least according to the gospel of Lee Trevino.