emilynghiem
Constitutionalist / Universalist
Dear USMB Friends and Colleagues:
In my search for answers and solutions to political conflicts,
I have interacted with diverse people across a broad spectrum
of political and religious beliefs and affiliations.
I am making a list of the most shocking revelations,
things I didn't know people really believed,
and things I didn't know people didn't know
(including me when I realized I didn't get something).
Things that made me say "no wonder we can't understand
each other" "OMB no wonder we are so messed up."
Things that made me laugh or grieve, for my own disbelief sometimes.
If you have funny or poignant stories to share,
revelations or insights that blew your mind
or changed the way you looked at conflict and politics, please feel free to post
your stories in response.
================================
Things I didn't know that people didn't know
1. The Quakers were Christian Left who influenced American govt and foundation
When a coworker only knew about the "conservative Christian Right"
and had no idea that the Quakers and Christian Left were instrumental
in founding and reforming American government.
I pointed out Dolly Madison was a Quaker abolitionist against slavery
married to James Madison a plantation slave owner.
I pointed out William Penn was a famous Quaker who was acquitted
of preaching an illegal religion because the Jury chose to nullify the
local law and put religious freedom first, despite being punished by the Judge.
I had other friends who never connected this with "Christian" activism in politics
since the only image in their mind are the Republican and Prolife conservative Christians.
Anyone who ISN'T that seems to be grouped with "liberal Democrats" and certainly not as Christians.
2. There is a difference in procedures and Constitutional authority
between State and Federal Government
A whole bunch of my coworkers also didn't know there was any difference
between State and Federal Govt. To many of them, once you elect people
you are stuck with what you get. You have no control over anything people
do in Government, at any level, so there is no difference to them.
I nearly died. We weren't supposed to be discussing politics at work,
but it took me and one other guy to explain the difference between
City officials who aren't under the Constitution, the State, and the
Federal Government and what it takes to pass laws through Congress.
This broke my heart and blew my mind.
3. I didn't know that some people really believe only White people can be racist
Once I understood some people define and address racism only this way,
assuming the White people are in power and everyone else is subjugate
and reacting to them, then I understood why we can't communicate about this.
If people cannot forgive how we define things differently, there is no way
to prevent from arguing. It is going to hurt people's feelings.
I also didn't know that White people/Irish were also subject to forced rapes
to breed more slaves, especially cross breeding with Blacks. I realized that
the hatred of Whites against Blacks can also be from this passed down spiritually,
not just the hatred of Blacks against Whites.
I realized if past generational karma can cause "phobias" in future descendants,
some racism can be a spiritual "phobia" and not necessarily something to judge
someone for if you would not judge other people for unconscious "phobias."
If it is political hatred that is chosen and can be helped, that may be self-induced.
but if it is an inbred "phobia" from generational karma, that may not be chosen
(and may require much deeper spiritual therapy to change as regression therapy
is used to treat phobias linked to past generational karma)
4. I didn't know "prochoice" only applied to belief in abortion and not to health care in general; I didn't know people really didn't believe the Constitutional arguments against ACA
After ACA was passed and I knew something was wrong, I really thought that the conflicts could be resolved by working out agreeable solutions.
Recently I found out people really don't recognize each other's beliefs as valid, as logical grounds for objections, but only see the opposition as fighting for political motivation.
This hard does of reality depressed me for months.
Some of it is realizing why my prolife friends were telling me that prochoice was not really about Constitutional freedom from religious-based regulations and bans, but was about pushing liberal agenda and abortion. I thought it was the liberal version or equivalent of Constitutional liberty and freedom from government regulation.
But with ACA this proved that is not the meaning of prochoice.
The double hit was realizing that people cannot help not understanding the Constitutional arguments against ACA. I thought if we had the same information, I thought if we could "forgive" our differences then these political blocks would go away and change perceptions.
But I realized that people really can't see each other's viewpoints as valid, they don't exist.
(On a related note, I FINALLY got what a friend said about prochoice vs. drug legalization.
He said if a woman had the free choice to abort a baby out of her body without penalty of law,
certainly he had the right to inject drugs into his body without being criminalized.
I didn't realize I had a bias either, until I compared all these arguments about pro-liberty on different issues.
It took ACA passing, with mandates fining free choice of health care, before I understood the prochoice bias.)
5. I didn't know historic preservation was such a political issue that no one want to touch it.
I didn't know people DIDN'T know the difference in power and authority that land ownership makes, and people think they can never own property or manage their own city, so this affects how they see government. I though this could change by setting up a program to teach it. But I couldn't even set it up because people didn't know it was important, don't think it is possible, so it is "not even a choice" so they won't even try.
I'm going to stop here, but I probably have more to add.
6. Like how I found out one of my best friends didn't know I had my own place.
He thought I was homeless and LITERALLY living in a storage unit. He misunderstood my joking about "living out of storage units" because I was moving my stuff back and forth all the time. He thought I meant LITERALLY living in units, which is illegal and of course I'm not doing that. All this time he was trying to help me, he was thinking I was that bad off. I went into shock. How could someone I had known 10 years think I was living IN a storage unit. Didn't know he didn't know, but he honestly didn't.
This reminded me of what a marriage counselor said in a workshop, that no matter how well we know people or think we do, even couples married for many years, we will have moments when we swear someone should have known something, and can't believe they didn't understand or they thought something else. People are not mindreaders. We aren't perfect; we are going to assume things because of our experiences, or make leaps in logic that aren't there. And just because someone "didn't know" doesn't mean they don't love you. It makes you think how could you NOT know what I meant!!! But these things happen even to people who have been married forever, and find out there was a gap somewhere.
So this happened to me with one friend a while back. And recently with another friend who said he "thought I was deliberately seeking to be abused and that's why I kept helping people who caused problems." He had no idea the whole reason I was volunteering in the community was to organize programs and support to help people recover from abusive behavior patterns. Chronic abuse is all throughout our neighborhood, and I was trying to set up a safe program with the nonprofits so we can help people nobody else can help. He thought this was a losing issue there was no way to fix; and all this time he didn't see I was working on solutions that could address and contain the problems so these people have a place to go and do not burden other people or government and society.
So this happened with two friends I thought knew and understood what I was doing,
but didn't. These were both good friends who knew me over 10 years, and didn't know.
It can happen to anyone, even the best of friends.
Still trying to deal with all this. Thanks!
Happy Easter to you and everyone here at USMB
I hope all your relations find renewal and helpful insights to bring
greater blessings and progress in all that we do to better ourselves and society.
I will add more to this list as they come to mind,
I know I have a lot more insights I got from people discussing politics and religion.
Yours truly,
Emily
In my search for answers and solutions to political conflicts,
I have interacted with diverse people across a broad spectrum
of political and religious beliefs and affiliations.
I am making a list of the most shocking revelations,
things I didn't know people really believed,
and things I didn't know people didn't know
(including me when I realized I didn't get something).
Things that made me say "no wonder we can't understand
each other" "OMB no wonder we are so messed up."
Things that made me laugh or grieve, for my own disbelief sometimes.
If you have funny or poignant stories to share,
revelations or insights that blew your mind
or changed the way you looked at conflict and politics, please feel free to post
your stories in response.
================================
Things I didn't know that people didn't know
1. The Quakers were Christian Left who influenced American govt and foundation
When a coworker only knew about the "conservative Christian Right"
and had no idea that the Quakers and Christian Left were instrumental
in founding and reforming American government.
I pointed out Dolly Madison was a Quaker abolitionist against slavery
married to James Madison a plantation slave owner.
I pointed out William Penn was a famous Quaker who was acquitted
of preaching an illegal religion because the Jury chose to nullify the
local law and put religious freedom first, despite being punished by the Judge.
I had other friends who never connected this with "Christian" activism in politics
since the only image in their mind are the Republican and Prolife conservative Christians.
Anyone who ISN'T that seems to be grouped with "liberal Democrats" and certainly not as Christians.
2. There is a difference in procedures and Constitutional authority
between State and Federal Government
A whole bunch of my coworkers also didn't know there was any difference
between State and Federal Govt. To many of them, once you elect people
you are stuck with what you get. You have no control over anything people
do in Government, at any level, so there is no difference to them.
I nearly died. We weren't supposed to be discussing politics at work,
but it took me and one other guy to explain the difference between
City officials who aren't under the Constitution, the State, and the
Federal Government and what it takes to pass laws through Congress.
This broke my heart and blew my mind.
3. I didn't know that some people really believe only White people can be racist
Once I understood some people define and address racism only this way,
assuming the White people are in power and everyone else is subjugate
and reacting to them, then I understood why we can't communicate about this.
If people cannot forgive how we define things differently, there is no way
to prevent from arguing. It is going to hurt people's feelings.
I also didn't know that White people/Irish were also subject to forced rapes
to breed more slaves, especially cross breeding with Blacks. I realized that
the hatred of Whites against Blacks can also be from this passed down spiritually,
not just the hatred of Blacks against Whites.
I realized if past generational karma can cause "phobias" in future descendants,
some racism can be a spiritual "phobia" and not necessarily something to judge
someone for if you would not judge other people for unconscious "phobias."
If it is political hatred that is chosen and can be helped, that may be self-induced.
but if it is an inbred "phobia" from generational karma, that may not be chosen
(and may require much deeper spiritual therapy to change as regression therapy
is used to treat phobias linked to past generational karma)
4. I didn't know "prochoice" only applied to belief in abortion and not to health care in general; I didn't know people really didn't believe the Constitutional arguments against ACA
After ACA was passed and I knew something was wrong, I really thought that the conflicts could be resolved by working out agreeable solutions.
Recently I found out people really don't recognize each other's beliefs as valid, as logical grounds for objections, but only see the opposition as fighting for political motivation.
This hard does of reality depressed me for months.
Some of it is realizing why my prolife friends were telling me that prochoice was not really about Constitutional freedom from religious-based regulations and bans, but was about pushing liberal agenda and abortion. I thought it was the liberal version or equivalent of Constitutional liberty and freedom from government regulation.
But with ACA this proved that is not the meaning of prochoice.
The double hit was realizing that people cannot help not understanding the Constitutional arguments against ACA. I thought if we had the same information, I thought if we could "forgive" our differences then these political blocks would go away and change perceptions.
But I realized that people really can't see each other's viewpoints as valid, they don't exist.
(On a related note, I FINALLY got what a friend said about prochoice vs. drug legalization.
He said if a woman had the free choice to abort a baby out of her body without penalty of law,
certainly he had the right to inject drugs into his body without being criminalized.
I didn't realize I had a bias either, until I compared all these arguments about pro-liberty on different issues.
It took ACA passing, with mandates fining free choice of health care, before I understood the prochoice bias.)
5. I didn't know historic preservation was such a political issue that no one want to touch it.
I didn't know people DIDN'T know the difference in power and authority that land ownership makes, and people think they can never own property or manage their own city, so this affects how they see government. I though this could change by setting up a program to teach it. But I couldn't even set it up because people didn't know it was important, don't think it is possible, so it is "not even a choice" so they won't even try.
I'm going to stop here, but I probably have more to add.
6. Like how I found out one of my best friends didn't know I had my own place.
He thought I was homeless and LITERALLY living in a storage unit. He misunderstood my joking about "living out of storage units" because I was moving my stuff back and forth all the time. He thought I meant LITERALLY living in units, which is illegal and of course I'm not doing that. All this time he was trying to help me, he was thinking I was that bad off. I went into shock. How could someone I had known 10 years think I was living IN a storage unit. Didn't know he didn't know, but he honestly didn't.
This reminded me of what a marriage counselor said in a workshop, that no matter how well we know people or think we do, even couples married for many years, we will have moments when we swear someone should have known something, and can't believe they didn't understand or they thought something else. People are not mindreaders. We aren't perfect; we are going to assume things because of our experiences, or make leaps in logic that aren't there. And just because someone "didn't know" doesn't mean they don't love you. It makes you think how could you NOT know what I meant!!! But these things happen even to people who have been married forever, and find out there was a gap somewhere.
So this happened to me with one friend a while back. And recently with another friend who said he "thought I was deliberately seeking to be abused and that's why I kept helping people who caused problems." He had no idea the whole reason I was volunteering in the community was to organize programs and support to help people recover from abusive behavior patterns. Chronic abuse is all throughout our neighborhood, and I was trying to set up a safe program with the nonprofits so we can help people nobody else can help. He thought this was a losing issue there was no way to fix; and all this time he didn't see I was working on solutions that could address and contain the problems so these people have a place to go and do not burden other people or government and society.
So this happened with two friends I thought knew and understood what I was doing,
but didn't. These were both good friends who knew me over 10 years, and didn't know.
It can happen to anyone, even the best of friends.
Still trying to deal with all this. Thanks!
Happy Easter to you and everyone here at USMB
I hope all your relations find renewal and helpful insights to bring
greater blessings and progress in all that we do to better ourselves and society.
I will add more to this list as they come to mind,
I know I have a lot more insights I got from people discussing politics and religion.
Yours truly,
Emily
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