USMB Coffee Shop IV

[Ringel05]

Ugh, the pipes here are clogged. The toilet wasn't flushing right, so I plunged, and plunged, and plunged. After doing that for a long time, I noticed that the tub had water and gunk backing up into it. I went and checked the other bathroom, same issue. My employer's boyfriend thinks he can fix it when he gets off of work, so hopefully won't have to pay for a plumber, but right now we can't shower or use the toilets. I'm glad we are friendly with the neighbors!

You're not dumping used cooking grease down the sink are ya?
That happened to us last year in Trinidad, the outside waste line had bushes planted over it.......... Roots, not a bright idea by whomever planted the hedge decades ago......

 

[Ringel05]

I'm feeling really guilty about my grammy. She is now in a nursing home, and I haven't even gone to visit her yet. I feel terrible but I dread going to see her there and like that. That is not how I want to remember my grandmother and I know that is not how she would want to be remembered. I don't even know if she will know who I am. She has declined very rapidly in terms of her memory and dementia. I know I have to go visit her, but I am not looking forward to it. Is that selfish of me?

What you are feeling is perfectly normal Chris--no need to feel guilty. But do go see her anyway, for your sake even if it doesn't benefit her. And we never know what goes on in the subsconscious even with those with advanced dementia, so the chances are you will benefit her too.

Ack, I keep putting it off, but it's really eating away at me.

It's a normal reaction. You still have those memories of happier times to draw on, you'll find those are the memories that will stick with you later on more so than what's currently happening. Go and be there for you if nothing else, remember her as she was and let her at least feel your love even if she doesn't know you any longer. Heck you might be surprised, she might not have lost any memories of you.

 

[ChrisL]

Yeah, I'll probably call my aunt some time this week to make arrangements to go visit with her.

 

[Montrovant]

Ugh, the pipes here are clogged. The toilet wasn't flushing right, so I plunged, and plunged, and plunged. After doing that for a long time, I noticed that the tub had water and gunk backing up into it. I went and checked the other bathroom, same issue. My employer's boyfriend thinks he can fix it when he gets off of work, so hopefully won't have to pay for a plumber, but right now we can't shower or use the toilets. I'm glad we are friendly with the neighbors!

You're not dumping used cooking grease down the sink are ya?
That happened to us last year in Trinidad, the outside waste line had bushes planted over it.......... Roots, not a bright idea by whomever planted the hedge decades ago......

I'm sure some grease gets down the sink when washing, but I generally take whatever pot or pan has grease in it after dinner is made and dump it out in the bushes in the backyard before I wash.

 

[Sherry]

I'm feeling really guilty about my grammy. She is now in a nursing home, and I haven't even gone to visit her yet. I feel terrible but I dread going to see her there and like that. That is not how I want to remember my grandmother and I know that is not how she would want to be remembered. I don't even know if she will know who I am. She has declined very rapidly in terms of her memory and dementia. I know I have to go visit her, but I am not looking forward to it. Is that selfish of me?

What you are feeling is perfectly normal Chris--no need to feel guilty. But do go see her anyway, for your sake even if it doesn't benefit her. And we never know what goes on in the subsconscious even with those with advanced dementia, so the chances are you will benefit her too.

Ack, I keep putting it off, but it's really eating away at me.

I think it's eating away at you, because deep down you know it's the right thing to do for both your grandmother and yourself...but don't expect it to be easy. I had a friend whose mom had Alzheimer's, and it broke his heart to see her in that condition. For 2 years, he went every week day during his lunch hour to sit with her and try to encourage her to eat her lunch. While it was difficult, and he grew to hate that facility, he never regretted doing it. He was a dutiful and loving son, and even though she didn't recognize him at the end, he needed to be there for her and make sure that the caretakers understood that he was committed to seeing that she was receiving the best quality care. Ultimately, it will be one of the most selfless acts you will do. I wish you both the best.

 

[Gracie]

I'm feeling really guilty about my grammy. She is now in a nursing home, and I haven't even gone to visit her yet. I feel terrible but I dread going to see her there and like that. That is not how I want to remember my grandmother and I know that is not how she would want to be remembered. I don't even know if she will know who I am. She has declined very rapidly in terms of her memory and dementia. I know I have to go visit her, but I am not looking forward to it. Is that selfish of me?

My uncle had alzheimers. He was getting violent with my aunt, so he had to be put in a home...and shackled when nurses came to do whatever job they had to do..bathe him, feed him, etc. He would attack them. NOBODY could do anything for him and even when visitors came, he had to be handcuffed to his chair or he would attack them. He and I were not close. He scared me when I was a kid although sometimes I would spend the night at their house cuz I wanted to be with Aunty.
Anyway....I heard he was in the home and was in town and decided to go see him just to show my respect. He was a hard man, but a decent one when I was a kid. Quiet, kept to himself, liked hanging out with my dad playing poker in the back room of the bar Dad owned. So respect him I did, although he was never overtly friendly to me. He was like that with all kids.
Anyway..I decided to go. They warned me he would not know me and I said that was ok..I just wanted to see him anyway. They led me in his room and there he sat, all dressed up with his derby hat on, suspenders, nice slacks. Shacked to the chair. When I poked my head in, he looked up, and a smile spread across his face. "You haven't changed a bit" he said. Then he asked "how long has it been since I saw you?" and I said "maybe 20 years. Do you know who I am?" and he frowned and said "of course I do. Do you think I'm crazy too, Gracie?" and I said "nope. I think you are just fine" and we had a nice chat. Then I left. He died a month or so later. I'm glad I went. Then Aunty wound up the same way, but she was not violent. My sister never told me she died. I found out months later.

Anyway...you should go. It won't be easy, but you owe her that.

 

[ChrisL]

I'm feeling really guilty about my grammy. She is now in a nursing home, and I haven't even gone to visit her yet. I feel terrible but I dread going to see her there and like that. That is not how I want to remember my grandmother and I know that is not how she would want to be remembered. I don't even know if she will know who I am. She has declined very rapidly in terms of her memory and dementia. I know I have to go visit her, but I am not looking forward to it. Is that selfish of me?

What you are feeling is perfectly normal Chris--no need to feel guilty. But do go see her anyway, for your sake even if it doesn't benefit her. And we never know what goes on in the subsconscious even with those with advanced dementia, so the chances are you will benefit her too.

Ack, I keep putting it off, but it's really eating away at me.

I think it's eating away at you, because deep down you know it's the right thing to do for both your grandmother and yourself...but don't expect it to be easy. I had a friend whose mom had Alzheimer's, and it broke his heart to see her in that condition. For 2 years, he went every week day during his lunch hour to sit with her and try to encourage her to eat her lunch. While it was difficult, and he grew to hate that facility, he never regretted doing it. He was a dutiful and loving son, and even though she didn't recognize him at the end, he needed to be there for her and make sure that the caretakers understood that he was committed to seeing that she was receiving the best quality care. Ultimately, it will be one of the most selfless acts you will do. I wish you both the best.

Yeah, I feel really crappy and anxious. I don't feel very good about this at all.

 

[Gracie]

I'm feeling really guilty about my grammy. She is now in a nursing home, and I haven't even gone to visit her yet. I feel terrible but I dread going to see her there and like that. That is not how I want to remember my grandmother and I know that is not how she would want to be remembered. I don't even know if she will know who I am. She has declined very rapidly in terms of her memory and dementia. I know I have to go visit her, but I am not looking forward to it. Is that selfish of me?

What you are feeling is perfectly normal Chris--no need to feel guilty. But do go see her anyway, for your sake even if it doesn't benefit her. And we never know what goes on in the subsconscious even with those with advanced dementia, so the chances are you will benefit her too.

Ack, I keep putting it off, but it's really eating away at me.

I think it's eating away at you, because deep down you know it's the right thing to do for both your grandmother and yourself...but don't expect it to be easy. I had a friend whose mom had Alzheimer's, and it broke his heart to see her in that condition. For 2 years, he went every week day during his lunch hour to sit with her and try to encourage her to eat her lunch. While it was difficult, and he grew to hate that facility, he never regretted doing it. He was a dutiful and loving son, and even though she didn't recognize him at the end, he needed to be there for her and make sure that the caretakers understood that he was committed to seeing that she was receiving the best quality care. Ultimately, it will be one of the most selfless acts you will do. I wish you both the best.

Yeah, I feel really crappy and anxious. I don't feel very good about this at all.

Then don't go if you are going to upset her.

 

[ChrisL]

I'm feeling really guilty about my grammy. She is now in a nursing home, and I haven't even gone to visit her yet. I feel terrible but I dread going to see her there and like that. That is not how I want to remember my grandmother and I know that is not how she would want to be remembered. I don't even know if she will know who I am. She has declined very rapidly in terms of her memory and dementia. I know I have to go visit her, but I am not looking forward to it. Is that selfish of me?

What you are feeling is perfectly normal Chris--no need to feel guilty. But do go see her anyway, for your sake even if it doesn't benefit her. And we never know what goes on in the subsconscious even with those with advanced dementia, so the chances are you will benefit her too.

Ack, I keep putting it off, but it's really eating away at me.

I think it's eating away at you, because deep down you know it's the right thing to do for both your grandmother and yourself...but don't expect it to be easy. I had a friend whose mom had Alzheimer's, and it broke his heart to see her in that condition. For 2 years, he went every week day during his lunch hour to sit with her and try to encourage her to eat her lunch. While it was difficult, and he grew to hate that facility, he never regretted doing it. He was a dutiful and loving son, and even though she didn't recognize him at the end, he needed to be there for her and make sure that the caretakers understood that he was committed to seeing that she was receiving the best quality care. Ultimately, it will be one of the most selfless acts you will do. I wish you both the best.

Yeah, I feel really crappy and anxious. I don't feel very good about this at all.

Then don't go if you are going to upset her.

Upset her? I would never do that. Why would you say something like that?

 

[Gracie]

She will pick up on your anxiety. She is your granny.

My dad had a heart attack. I said the same thing you did. I didn't want to see him like that. So I didn't. When he survived and came home, he asked me why I never came to see him. I told him I didn't want to see him that way. He cried. He said he looked for me every day and I never came.

That was over 40 years ago. I still feel bad.

 

[Foxfyre]

I'm feeling really guilty about my grammy. She is now in a nursing home, and I haven't even gone to visit her yet. I feel terrible but I dread going to see her there and like that. That is not how I want to remember my grandmother and I know that is not how she would want to be remembered. I don't even know if she will know who I am. She has declined very rapidly in terms of her memory and dementia. I know I have to go visit her, but I am not looking forward to it. Is that selfish of me?

What you are feeling is perfectly normal Chris--no need to feel guilty. But do go see her anyway, for your sake even if it doesn't benefit her. And we never know what goes on in the subsconscious even with those with advanced dementia, so the chances are you will benefit her too.

Ack, I keep putting it off, but it's really eating away at me.

I think it's eating away at you, because deep down you know it's the right thing to do for both your grandmother and yourself...but don't expect it to be easy. I had a friend whose mom had Alzheimer's, and it broke his heart to see her in that condition. For 2 years, he went every week day during his lunch hour to sit with her and try to encourage her to eat her lunch. While it was difficult, and he grew to hate that facility, he never regretted doing it. He was a dutiful and loving son, and even though she didn't recognize him at the end, he needed to be there for her and make sure that the caretakers understood that he was committed to seeing that she was receiving the best quality care. Ultimately, it will be one of the most selfless acts you will do. I wish you both the best.

Yeah, I feel really crappy and anxious. I don't feel very good about this at all.

Then don't go if you are going to upset her.

You won't upset her. But don't feel guilty that you are doing that if she seems agitated or anxious because she is supposed to know you and may not. You never know what degree of cognizance a person with dementia will have on any given day. I gently and lovingly disagree that you 'owe her'. But again even if she doesn't know who you are or even who she is, you know who she is. Love that person. Go for you as much as you go for her. You will see that it will be okay.

 

[Foxfyre]

Well after a week of feeling like a very unimportant cow in a large herd, I got a call from the orthopedic today. Apparently the urgent care doc who looked at my shoulder did a referral to have me further evaluated. Have an appointment on Wednesday. With all this other going on I am sure I won't be scheduled for serious treatment any time soon--I just want to know what's wrong and that I won't injure myself further if I do physical therapy on myself.

 

[Foxfyre]

Pondering all this medical stuff this past week. . . .in all the myriad numbers of people who checked me in, took vitals, ran me through the ordeal of tests etc. etc. etc., I never felt like more than a faceless number on a chart--there seemed so little concern about how I was feeling about it all or how afraid I might have been or that anybody really gave a damn whatsoever about me. I was a slab of meat to be appropriately evaluated so they could bill for the service rendered. And nobody who would actually have to treat the problem wanted anything to do with me.

That one urgent care doc did at least address me as a person, and a subsequent nurse I haven't met but heard the compassion through the phone heard me out, understood my situation, and got me some help and an appointment to see a doctor who can move this process forward. I am extremely grateful to those two people who just being who they were gave me some hope and encouragement that it wasn't all hopeless.

We never know what taking the time to hear somebody's concerns and fears without judgment or criticism will do for that person. But God bless those who have the instincts to do that.

 

[Sherry]

Pondering all this medical stuff this past week. . . .in all the myriad numbers of people who checked me in, took vitals, ran me through the ordeal of tests etc. etc. etc., I never felt like more than a faceless number on a chart--there seemed so little concern about how I was feeling about it all or how afraid I might have been or that anybody really gave a damn whatsoever about me. I was a slab of meat to be appropriately evaluated so they could bill for the service rendered. And nobody who would actually have to treat the problem wanted anything to do with me.

That one urgent care doc did at least address me as a person, and a subsequent nurse I haven't met but heard the compassion through the phone heard me out, understood my situation, and got me some help and an appointment to see a doctor who can move this process forward. I am extremely grateful to those two people who just being who they were gave me some hope and encouragement that it wasn't all hopeless.

We never know what taking the time to hear somebody's concerns and fears without judgment or criticism will do for that person. But God bless those who have the instincts to do that.

I'm a firm believer that our mental state can have a huge impact on our physical well-being...unfortunately, medical school does not give enough emphasis on practicing effective bedside manner techniques.

 

[Foxfyre]

Pondering all this medical stuff this past week. . . .in all the myriad numbers of people who checked me in, took vitals, ran me through the ordeal of tests etc. etc. etc., I never felt like more than a faceless number on a chart--there seemed so little concern about how I was feeling about it all or how afraid I might have been or that anybody really gave a damn whatsoever about me. I was a slab of meat to be appropriately evaluated so they could bill for the service rendered. And nobody who would actually have to treat the problem wanted anything to do with me.

That one urgent care doc did at least address me as a person, and a subsequent nurse I haven't met but heard the compassion through the phone heard me out, understood my situation, and got me some help and an appointment to see a doctor who can move this process forward. I am extremely grateful to those two people who just being who they were gave me some hope and encouragement that it wasn't all hopeless.

We never know what taking the time to hear somebody's concerns and fears without judgment or criticism will do for that person. But God bless those who have the instincts to do that.

I'm a firm believer that our mental state can have a huge impact on our physical well-being...unfortunately, medical school does not give enough emphasis on practicing effective bedside manner techniques.

I just abhor the cattle call kind of medical care most of us get these days. Just a little bit of empathy and appreciating the patient's fears and concerns instead of just going through all the proper motions can make such a huge difference. But amidst all that impersonal though proper routine this past week, those two angels made a huge difference. We never know when or how much we will be another person's angel.

 

[Sherry]

I've always had this weird fear of escalators since childhood when I heard about a girl getting her flip flop caught in the last step and her toes mangled. I totally don't want to get on one now.

Caution: very disturbing video attached to article.

Chinese woman trapped in escalator dies but saves toddler son Fox News

 

[Montrovant]

I've always thought that nurses were the ones to empathize and worry about the patients' emotional well being, while doctors just performed procedures in more of the 'cattle call' way.

Of course, I haven't been to a doctor since I was a teenager.

 

[Sherry]

I've always thought that nurses were the ones to empathize and worry about the patients' emotional well being, while doctors just performed procedures in more of the 'cattle call' way.

Of course, I haven't been to a doctor since I was a teenager.

Whoever is administering care at the moment should be interested in making a connection with their patient. I believe PCPs have an obligation to their patients, and in addition to seeing patients in their office, most of them make hospital rounds as well. They are often crunched for time, but body language and a few encouraging words can make a huge difference to the patient.

 

[Ringel05]

Had one of those afternoon "naps", 3 hours, woke up less sleepy but more exhausted and befuddled than when I laid down. Of course that meant I was a complete bear for about an hour........

 

[Sherry]

Had one of those afternoon "naps", 3 hours, woke up less sleepy but more exhausted and befuddled than when I laid down. Of course that meant I was a complete bear for about an hour........

Ringel, I had a dream about you last night.