USMB Coffee Shop IV

[Foxfyre]

ChrisL and ricechickie, believe me I hear you both. What you said about traveling kids and what you didn't say. Those of us who saw our kids through their teen years, how your heart stops when they're out at night and you hear a siren in the distance, or they're a bit past curfew and you don't know whether to be relieved or angry when they finally come in. So they are finally adults, and now they travel.

Daughter relates incident in Europe when she went for a walk, by herself, and wound up in a hostile neighborhood and felt lucky to get out of it unscathed. And didn't learn a darn thing from the incident.

 

[Ernie S.]

OK... I'm a nice guy. I help people where I can to the point of putting myself in uncomfortable situations.
I LIKE being single with no one bitching and complaining at me and no one talking to me before I've had coffee.
I've done it again.
One of my bartenders, a woman I've known for 6 or 7 years and become like a dad to, has this mother... Terri has problems, she chooses the wrong people to hang out with, has had substance abuse problems, etc.
Well I bailed her out last Tuesday and she's been camped out on my sofa since. Today SHOULD be my day off and once I had gone to my partners' house to feed the animals, I had plans to work on a couple things here.
So I get up, make coffee and she TALKS TO ME!
She's in a nightgown and I've pulled on sweat pants (no shirt) She tells me she needs to go to a Dr,'s office in town while running her fingers through my hair...
She's not an unattractive woman, but I really can't get involved with her, but with her here, I have lost my solitude and actually, the opportunity to get "involved" with another woman I am interested in.
She just can't stay with her daughter. They fight constantly. I don't know what to do...

Yes, she can just stay with her daughter or find somewhere more appropriate to mooch off of. Nice guy or not, Ernie, don't put yourself in a position like that. You need to tell her time's up and it's time to go.

yeah I know all that but I'm still not built that way. I need to know she's got a place to stay before I can tell her to go.

 

[Foxfyre]

OK... I'm a nice guy. I help people where I can to the point of putting myself in uncomfortable situations.
I LIKE being single with no one bitching and complaining at me and no one talking to me before I've had coffee.
I've done it again.
One of my bartenders, a woman I've known for 6 or 7 years and become like a dad to, has this mother... Terri has problems, she chooses the wrong people to hang out with, has had substance abuse problems, etc.
Well I bailed her out last Tuesday and she's been camped out on my sofa since. Today SHOULD be my day off and once I had gone to my partners' house to feed the animals, I had plans to work on a couple things here.
So I get up, make coffee and she TALKS TO ME!
She's in a nightgown and I've pulled on sweat pants (no shirt) She tells me she needs to go to a Dr,'s office in town while running her fingers through my hair...
She's not an unattractive woman, but I really can't get involved with her, but with her here, I have lost my solitude and actually, the opportunity to get "involved" with another woman I am interested in.
She just can't stay with her daughter. They fight constantly. I don't know what to do...

Yes, she can just stay with her daughter or find somewhere more appropriate to mooch off of. Nice guy or not, Ernie, don't put yourself in a position like that. You need to tell her time's up and it's time to go.

yeah I know all that but I'm still not built that way. I need to know she's got a place to stay before I can tell her to go.

I appreciate that, but she has a place to stay. That she and her daughter don't get along is not your problem but a little tough love might make them deal with it and figure out how to make it work.

We took in some friends--husband and wife--one time when they were in a difficult transition period and were happy to do so. But after awhile it became obvious that they were making no effort of any kind to get their own place even when they were again gainfully employed. So we bit the bullet and suggested it was time for them to transition out. And they did, and worked it out. And somehow we even remained friends.

 

[ChrisL]

OK... I'm a nice guy. I help people where I can to the point of putting myself in uncomfortable situations.
I LIKE being single with no one bitching and complaining at me and no one talking to me before I've had coffee.
I've done it again.
One of my bartenders, a woman I've known for 6 or 7 years and become like a dad to, has this mother... Terri has problems, she chooses the wrong people to hang out with, has had substance abuse problems, etc.
Well I bailed her out last Tuesday and she's been camped out on my sofa since. Today SHOULD be my day off and once I had gone to my partners' house to feed the animals, I had plans to work on a couple things here.
So I get up, make coffee and she TALKS TO ME!
She's in a nightgown and I've pulled on sweat pants (no shirt) She tells me she needs to go to a Dr,'s office in town while running her fingers through my hair...
She's not an unattractive woman, but I really can't get involved with her, but with her here, I have lost my solitude and actually, the opportunity to get "involved" with another woman I am interested in.
She just can't stay with her daughter. They fight constantly. I don't know what to do...

Yes, she can just stay with her daughter or find somewhere more appropriate to mooch off of. Nice guy or not, Ernie, don't put yourself in a position like that. You need to tell her time's up and it's time to go.

yeah I know all that but I'm still not built that way. I need to know she's got a place to stay before I can tell her to go.

You can't take in every stray, Ernie. I can't believe her daughter would have LET you do that. She should have stepped in and taken her in instead of leaving it up to you. That is kind of a crappy and selfish thing to do, IMO.

 

[Foxfyre]

OK... I'm a nice guy. I help people where I can to the point of putting myself in uncomfortable situations.
I LIKE being single with no one bitching and complaining at me and no one talking to me before I've had coffee.
I've done it again.
One of my bartenders, a woman I've known for 6 or 7 years and become like a dad to, has this mother... Terri has problems, she chooses the wrong people to hang out with, has had substance abuse problems, etc.
Well I bailed her out last Tuesday and she's been camped out on my sofa since. Today SHOULD be my day off and once I had gone to my partners' house to feed the animals, I had plans to work on a couple things here.
So I get up, make coffee and she TALKS TO ME!
She's in a nightgown and I've pulled on sweat pants (no shirt) She tells me she needs to go to a Dr,'s office in town while running her fingers through my hair...
She's not an unattractive woman, but I really can't get involved with her, but with her here, I have lost my solitude and actually, the opportunity to get "involved" with another woman I am interested in.
She just can't stay with her daughter. They fight constantly. I don't know what to do...

Yes, she can just stay with her daughter or find somewhere more appropriate to mooch off of. Nice guy or not, Ernie, don't put yourself in a position like that. You need to tell her time's up and it's time to go.

yeah I know all that but I'm still not built that way. I need to know she's got a place to stay before I can tell her to go.

You can't take in every stray, Ernie. I can't believe her daughter would have LET you do that. She should have stepped in and taken her in instead of leaving it up to you. That is kind of a crappy and selfish thing to do, IMO.

If the daughter in fact didn't offer her mother shelter and the mother refused it. We only have one side of the story.

 

[Ringel05]

Okay, finally have all the documents we need to get the vehicles New Mexico legal. We've decided to go up to the MVD in Cuba which no one was using yesterday. Granted with the drive it might take as long as it would here in Albuquerque but at least it's a pretty drive and we're not sitting in the MVD for hours looking at everyone else waiting.

 

[Ernie S.]

OK... I'm a nice guy. I help people where I can to the point of putting myself in uncomfortable situations.
I LIKE being single with no one bitching and complaining at me and no one talking to me before I've had coffee.
I've done it again.
One of my bartenders, a woman I've known for 6 or 7 years and become like a dad to, has this mother... Terri has problems, she chooses the wrong people to hang out with, has had substance abuse problems, etc.
Well I bailed her out last Tuesday and she's been camped out on my sofa since. Today SHOULD be my day off and once I had gone to my partners' house to feed the animals, I had plans to work on a couple things here.
So I get up, make coffee and she TALKS TO ME!
She's in a nightgown and I've pulled on sweat pants (no shirt) She tells me she needs to go to a Dr,'s office in town while running her fingers through my hair...
She's not an unattractive woman, but I really can't get involved with her, but with her here, I have lost my solitude and actually, the opportunity to get "involved" with another woman I am interested in.
She just can't stay with her daughter. They fight constantly. I don't know what to do...

Yes, she can just stay with her daughter or find somewhere more appropriate to mooch off of. Nice guy or not, Ernie, don't put yourself in a position like that. You need to tell her time's up and it's time to go.

yeah I know all that but I'm still not built that way. I need to know she's got a place to stay before I can tell her to go.

You can't take in every stray, Ernie. I can't believe her daughter would have LET you do that. She should have stepped in and taken her in instead of leaving it up to you. That is kind of a crappy and selfish thing to do, IMO.

I did it as a favor to her daughter and her daughter's husband. The two of them just can't get together and Neil just can't stand seeing his wife go through what she does when her mother is around.
I don't have that history with woman and I'm slightly better equipped to deal with her horseshit. I am going to ask her daughter help me find her a place though.

 

[ChrisL]

OK... I'm a nice guy. I help people where I can to the point of putting myself in uncomfortable situations.
I LIKE being single with no one bitching and complaining at me and no one talking to me before I've had coffee.
I've done it again.
One of my bartenders, a woman I've known for 6 or 7 years and become like a dad to, has this mother... Terri has problems, she chooses the wrong people to hang out with, has had substance abuse problems, etc.
Well I bailed her out last Tuesday and she's been camped out on my sofa since. Today SHOULD be my day off and once I had gone to my partners' house to feed the animals, I had plans to work on a couple things here.
So I get up, make coffee and she TALKS TO ME!
She's in a nightgown and I've pulled on sweat pants (no shirt) She tells me she needs to go to a Dr,'s office in town while running her fingers through my hair...
She's not an unattractive woman, but I really can't get involved with her, but with her here, I have lost my solitude and actually, the opportunity to get "involved" with another woman I am interested in.
She just can't stay with her daughter. They fight constantly. I don't know what to do...

Yes, she can just stay with her daughter or find somewhere more appropriate to mooch off of. Nice guy or not, Ernie, don't put yourself in a position like that. You need to tell her time's up and it's time to go.

yeah I know all that but I'm still not built that way. I need to know she's got a place to stay before I can tell her to go.

You can't take in every stray, Ernie. I can't believe her daughter would have LET you do that. She should have stepped in and taken her in instead of leaving it up to you. That is kind of a crappy and selfish thing to do, IMO.

I did it too as a favor to her daughter and her daughter's husband. The two of you just can't get together in Neil just can't stand seeing his wife go through what she does when her mother is around. I don't have that history with woman and I'm slightly better equipped to deal with her horseshit. I am going to ask her daughter help me find her a place though.

Well, speaking for myself, no matter how much a PITA my mother is, I would never put the burden on someone else.

 

[Ringel05]

The doc prescribed Chantix for me to help quit smoking, picked it up yesterday and took my first dose about a half hour ago. Ten minutes later I get a call from BC/BS asking me how it was going..........
She then started asking me about my smoking history and kept asking questions before I finally interrupted her with "what is this all about"? She's with the BC/BS smoking cessation support group......... Of course my response was "I'm not interested, why are you bothering me"? I received a cold "sorry to bother you, goodbye" and she hung up.......

 

[Ernie S.]

OK... I'm a nice guy. I help people where I can to the point of putting myself in uncomfortable situations.
I LIKE being single with no one bitching and complaining at me and no one talking to me before I've had coffee.
I've done it again.
One of my bartenders, a woman I've known for 6 or 7 years and become like a dad to, has this mother... Terri has problems, she chooses the wrong people to hang out with, has had substance abuse problems, etc.
Well I bailed her out last Tuesday and she's been camped out on my sofa since. Today SHOULD be my day off and once I had gone to my partners' house to feed the animals, I had plans to work on a couple things here.
So I get up, make coffee and she TALKS TO ME!
She's in a nightgown and I've pulled on sweat pants (no shirt) She tells me she needs to go to a Dr,'s office in town while running her fingers through my hair...
She's not an unattractive woman, but I really can't get involved with her, but with her here, I have lost my solitude and actually, the opportunity to get "involved" with another woman I am interested in.
She just can't stay with her daughter. They fight constantly. I don't know what to do...

Yes, she can just stay with her daughter or find somewhere more appropriate to mooch off of. Nice guy or not, Ernie, don't put yourself in a position like that. You need to tell her time's up and it's time to go.

yeah I know all that but I'm still not built that way. I need to know she's got a place to stay before I can tell her to go.

You can't take in every stray, Ernie. I can't believe her daughter would have LET you do that. She should have stepped in and taken her in instead of leaving it up to you. That is kind of a crappy and selfish thing to do, IMO.

I did it too as a favor to her daughter and her daughter's husband. The two of you just can't get together in Neil just can't stand seeing his wife go through what she does when her mother is around. I don't have that history with woman and I'm slightly better equipped to deal with her horseshit. I am going to ask her daughter help me find her a place though.

Well, speaking for myself, no matter how much a PITA my mother is, I would never put the burden on someone else.

I see the interaction, Chris. It is toxic, and the daughter becomes a basket case.
The woman is disrupting my life. She used up all but enough sugar for one cup of coffee and when I mentioned it, she got all defensive. I snapped a bit, she started crying and shut herself up in the back bedroom. She made a phone call from in there and by the tone, I figure it was about me.
I almost never show anger because when I do, it frequently involves firearms or fisticuffs, so I don't get upset by minor crapola. THIS is getting major quickly.

 

[Nosmo King]

The doc prescribed Chantix for me to help quit smoking, picked it up yesterday and took my first dose about a half hour ago. Ten minutes later I get a call from BC/BS asking me how it was going..........
She then started asking me about my smoking history and kept asking questions before I finally interrupted her with "what is this all about"? She's with the BC/BS smoking cessation support group......... Of course my response was "I'm not interested, why are you bothering me"? I received a cold "sorry to bother you, goodbye" and she hung up.......

"Chantix can cause mood swings, irritability, suicidal thoughts or actions and snapping at telephone calls. Consult your doctor if any of these things happen to you while taking Chantix."

Welcome to the world of case studies and statistics!

 

[Ringel05]

The doc prescribed Chantix for me to help quit smoking, picked it up yesterday and took my first dose about a half hour ago. Ten minutes later I get a call from BC/BS asking me how it was going..........
She then started asking me about my smoking history and kept asking questions before I finally interrupted her with "what is this all about"? She's with the BC/BS smoking cessation support group......... Of course my response was "I'm not interested, why are you bothering me"? I received a cold "sorry to bother you, goodbye" and she hung up.......

"Chanting can cause moos swings, irritability, suicidal thought or actions and snapping at telephone calls. Consult your doctor if any of these things happen to you while taking Chantix."

Welcome to the world of case studies and statistics!

Not in my case as the doc said keep smoking while you're taking it and then one day months from now you'll do what most do, wake up one morning and realize you don't need or want to smoke. I don't do "support groups" per se, I'll either quit or not, that's life but even more importantly is I hate cold calls for any reason, if I want help I'll ask for it. I also hate talking on the phone, always have.
I also know that whenever I've tried to go cold turkey I turn into and absolute monster which is why I'm trying the Chantix, as for suicidal thoughts, never had em, never will. Oh and I've only done moos swings when making fun of cows..........

 

[Ringel05]

The doc prescribed Chantix for me to help quit smoking, picked it up yesterday and took my first dose about a half hour ago. Ten minutes later I get a call from BC/BS asking me how it was going..........
She then started asking me about my smoking history and kept asking questions before I finally interrupted her with "what is this all about"? She's with the BC/BS smoking cessation support group......... Of course my response was "I'm not interested, why are you bothering me"? I received a cold "sorry to bother you, goodbye" and she hung up.......

"Chanting can cause moos swings, irritability, suicidal thought or actions and snapping at telephone calls. Consult your doctor if any of these things happen to you while taking Chantix."

Welcome to the world of case studies and statistics!

Not in my case as the doc said keep smoking while you're taking it and then one day months from now you'll do what most do, wake up one morning and realize you don't need or want to smoke. I don't do "support groups" per se, I'll either quit or not, that's life but even more importantly is I hate cold calls for any reason, if I want help I'll ask for it. I also hate talking on the phone, always have.
I also know that whenever I've tried to go cold turkey I turn into and absolute monster which is why I'm trying the Chantix, as for suicidal thoughts, never had em, never will. Oh and I've only done moos swings when making fun of cows..........

Oh and I've never chanted, well at least not that I remember but I did take a lot of blotter when I was younger so it's always possible..........

 

[peach174]

Hossfly is back in action. 4 days in hospital, 14 days in rehab. Home Health Care starts tomorrow for an unknown number of days then to an out-patient Sports Rehab Center. Thanks to everybody for the well wishes and messages. My knee is weak and tender but I'm a tough old bird.

We are all so glad to see you back and that you are OK and on the road to recovery

 

[peach174]

Everyone keep Mr. P in your prayers for early tomorrow morning for his surgery.

 

[Foxfyre]

Yes, she can just stay with her daughter or find somewhere more appropriate to mooch off of. Nice guy or not, Ernie, don't put yourself in a position like that. You need to tell her time's up and it's time to go.

yeah I know all that but I'm still not built that way. I need to know she's got a place to stay before I can tell her to go.

You can't take in every stray, Ernie. I can't believe her daughter would have LET you do that. She should have stepped in and taken her in instead of leaving it up to you. That is kind of a crappy and selfish thing to do, IMO.

I did it too as a favor to her daughter and her daughter's husband. The two of you just can't get together in Neil just can't stand seeing his wife go through what she does when her mother is around. I don't have that history with woman and I'm slightly better equipped to deal with her horseshit. I am going to ask her daughter help me find her a place though.

Well, speaking for myself, no matter how much a PITA my mother is, I would never put the burden on someone else.

I see the interaction, Chris. It is toxic, and the daughter becomes a basket case.
The woman is disrupting my life. She used up all but enough sugar for one cup of coffee and when I mentioned it, she got all defensive. I snapped a bit, she started crying and shut herself up in the back bedroom. She made a phone call from in there and by the tone, I figure it was about me.
I almost never show anger because when I do, it frequently involves firearms or fisticuffs, so I don't get upset by minor crapola. THIS is getting major quickly.

Your history also informs you how you can be guilted and manipulated by an addict who had has time to become an expert on guilting and manipulation. That of course is what the daughter doesn't cope well with. But I'll be pulling for a speedy solution for you that won't leave you feeling like a jerk even though you'll be the only person who sees you that way.

 

[Foxfyre]

Everyone keep Mr. P in your prayers for early tomorrow morning for his surgery.

I have you head of the list on my prayer list Peach. And I just know it is going to be just fine. Do you have somebody who can be with you during the procedure?

 

[Montrovant]

The doc prescribed Chantix for me to help quit smoking, picked it up yesterday and took my first dose about a half hour ago. Ten minutes later I get a call from BC/BS asking me how it was going..........
She then started asking me about my smoking history and kept asking questions before I finally interrupted her with "what is this all about"? She's with the BC/BS smoking cessation support group......... Of course my response was "I'm not interested, why are you bothering me"? I received a cold "sorry to bother you, goodbye" and she hung up.......

"Chanting can cause moos swings, irritability, suicidal thought or actions and snapping at telephone calls. Consult your doctor if any of these things happen to you while taking Chantix."

Welcome to the world of case studies and statistics!

Not in my case as the doc said keep smoking while you're taking it and then one day months from now you'll do what most do, wake up one morning and realize you don't need or want to smoke. I don't do "support groups" per se, I'll either quit or not, that's life but even more importantly is I hate cold calls for any reason, if I want help I'll ask for it. I also hate talking on the phone, always have.
I also know that whenever I've tried to go cold turkey I turn into and absolute monster which is why I'm trying the Chantix, as for suicidal thoughts, never had em, never will. Oh and I've only done moos swings when making fun of cows..........

For me, gradually cutting down how much I smoke eventually led to quitting cold turkey. I also was smoking little cigars for a few years before I quit, but I have no idea if that helped at all. It helped my wallet, at least.

I am terrible with phone calls as well. I've gotten much worse as I've gotten older and less social.

 

[peach174]

Everyone keep Mr. P in your prayers for early tomorrow morning for his surgery.

I have you head of the list on my prayer list Peach. And I just know it is going to be just fine. Do you have somebody who can be with you during the procedure?

I have and Hubby and I are very grateful , thank you.

Yes we have a very good friend who is driving us there and back.
He will be there for me for support.
I'm too much of a nervous wreck right now, no way could I drive safely up there.
He has so many things that could go haywire during the surgery.

 

[Foxfyre]

The doc prescribed Chantix for me to help quit smoking, picked it up yesterday and took my first dose about a half hour ago. Ten minutes later I get a call from BC/BS asking me how it was going..........
She then started asking me about my smoking history and kept asking questions before I finally interrupted her with "what is this all about"? She's with the BC/BS smoking cessation support group......... Of course my response was "I'm not interested, why are you bothering me"? I received a cold "sorry to bother you, goodbye" and she hung up.......

"Chanting can cause moos swings, irritability, suicidal thought or actions and snapping at telephone calls. Consult your doctor if any of these things happen to you while taking Chantix."

Welcome to the world of case studies and statistics!

Not in my case as the doc said keep smoking while you're taking it and then one day months from now you'll do what most do, wake up one morning and realize you don't need or want to smoke. I don't do "support groups" per se, I'll either quit or not, that's life but even more importantly is I hate cold calls for any reason, if I want help I'll ask for it. I also hate talking on the phone, always have.
I also know that whenever I've tried to go cold turkey I turn into and absolute monster which is why I'm trying the Chantix, as for suicidal thoughts, never had em, never will. Oh and I've only done moos swings when making fun of cows..........

For me, gradually cutting down how much I smoke eventually led to quitting cold turkey. I also was smoking little cigars for a few years before I quit, but I have no idea if that helped at all. It helped my wallet, at least.

I am terrible with phone calls as well. I've gotten much worse as I've gotten older and less social.

I would guess a lot of us who hang out on message boards aren't really telephone people. I use the phone to deliver or get information, order or schedule something, etc. but otherwise prefer to converse face to face for long discussions though I enjoy interacting with folks here for less wordy stuff.