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There are many things a friend may say that those less familiar might. I think you were being a good friend and you were trying to be helpful by pointing out the obvious. She's probably already heard all this from her doctors but she wanted validation that her laziness and inability to lose weight was not her fault. You did well, Gracie. Sometimes, we have to say goodbye to friends we have held dear, and sometimes the reasons aren't all that clear.Well..someone is totally pissed at me. Acquaintence of mine I have known many years just told me (via text) that she wants nothing more to do with me. Which is fine. She has always been a manipulative whiney hypochondriac so its no loss.
However, she got all indignant over something and I wanted your opinions on whether I was "too rude" to her.
All this happened via text. And I shortened it enough so you get the gist without the rest of the bullshit. The red font is what pissed her off.
Her: I just got out of the hospital.
Me: What's wrong?
Her: I have A-Fib.
Me: Are you better now?
Her: My blood pressure is 230/185 and has been for years. My heart was vibrating instead of beating.
Me: MrG has a-fib. He's on warfarin. That is probably what they will put you on.
Her: No, they want to do surgery.
Me: Surgery is dangerous. If you want to control your BP naturally, maybe try a Paleo Diet? Weight is an issue, I am not trying to be rude.
Her: WE ALL HAVE OUR FLAWS! Even people with bad attitudes like you!!!!!
Me: Do you get defensive when your doc tells you you need to lose weight or do you save that for me?
Her: I will not be friends with you any more. Your tongue is too sharp. My heart cannot take it.
Me: You want me to baby you and I refuse to. If you want to live, you have to get some weight off. It will help your doctors AND you.
Her: I am done with you. Begone.
Me:. Ok. Adios.
Now..this gal weighs 375 lbs and is obese and has been for many years.
Was I rude in suggesting a paleo diet or ANY diet? Is that having a sharp tongue?
I have little patience for hypochondriacs. It is truly unfortunate that my best buddy tends to pair up with the creatures.Its been sinking in for 30 years, Drifter. My heart skips beats too. I ignore it. She gets a sneeze and she runs to the doctor believing she has Ebola.
Very sad! I hope I don't make it that far.I went to see my grammy in the nursing home this weekend. It is just sad seeing her now. I was just telling my friend that I miss her so much and she isn't even dead yet. She reverts a lot back into her childhood nowadays. She sometimes thinks my aunt (her daughter) is her mother and has no idea who I am. Other times it seems she knows who I am but she still has that childlike demeanor about her. She carries a stuffed cat (that looks surprisingly realistic), which she just adores. She constantly has it in her arms and pats it and talks to it like it is a real cat or something. Anyways, it seems to make her happy and I suppose it is kind of like therapy for it. It is kind of cute how much she cares about that thing.
Good luck to both of you!Got back from the Benson Hospital.
Hubbies sores are healing and Dr. wants to see him everyday this week except Thursday.
Thursday is a trip to Tucson for the bone specialist at 8:30 a.m.
Hopefully he can get the air cast off.
Another busy week.
then it turned in to 
then it wound up 
and eventually..like about 20 minutes ago...
.
Good on ya, Gracie! Take one step at a time, especially with the roomie. Who knows, if it comes to you or Mr. G. moving on to the Rainbow Bridge before the other, the roomie might be persuaded to compromise. Plus, you have both two- and four-legger friends now...Well...I have news.
I just burned the Beach Bridge. We will NOT be going back. Staying right here. And no more wishywashing from me. I called the lady, told her to remove our app, and we would not be moving there. She gave us FIVE DAYS to get there. Be there on the 1st, she said. But she cannot answer questions because she is too busy, she said. I was left looking at my phone with this on my face
I did my own figuring. If we went back there, we would be paying 100 to 150 bucks MORE per month than we are paying HERE. And, I made some good friends here. And their pets are my friends now too. So...from now on..we be Mountain Folk. For reals. At least for another 2 years anyway, lol.
I've hear all this before. as for #2, in my experience, quitting tobacco is MORE difficult than quitting drinking. I don't fall down if I've had too many cigarettes I don't get arrested if I drive after smoking and most importantly the effects of smoking take many years to catch up with you and you can always put quitting off.Being overweight is a lot like smoking. The effects creep up on you over many years and you barely notice until you end up with COPD in my case, or heart problems or diabetes. Any of these problems can be helped a great deal with life style changes.Well..someone is totally pissed at me. Acquaintence of mine I have known many years just told me (via text) that she wants nothing more to do with me. Which is fine. She has always been a manipulative whiney hypochondriac so its no loss.
However, she got all indignant over something and I wanted your opinions on whether I was "too rude" to her.
All this happened via text. And I shortened it enough so you get the gist without the rest of the bullshit. The red font is what pissed her off.
Her: I just got out of the hospital.
Me: What's wrong?
Her: I have A-Fib.
Me: Are you better now?
Her: My blood pressure is 230/185 and has been for years. My heart was vibrating instead of beating.
Me: MrG has a-fib. He's on warfarin. That is probably what they will put you on.
Her: No, they want to do surgery.
Me: Surgery is dangerous. If you want to control your BP naturally, maybe try a Paleo Diet? Weight is an issue, I am not trying to be rude.
Her: WE ALL HAVE OUR FLAWS! Even people with bad attitudes like you!!!!!
Me: Do you get defensive when your doc tells you you need to lose weight or do you save that for me?
Her: I will not be friends with you any more. Your tongue is too sharp. My heart cannot take it.
Me: You want me to baby you and I refuse to. If you want to live, you have to get some weight off. It will help your doctors AND you.
Her: I am done with you. Begone.
Me:. Ok. Adios.
Now..this gal weighs 375 lbs and is obese and has been for many years.
Was I rude in suggesting a paleo diet or ANY diet? Is that having a sharp tongue?
I always got a bit miffed at people who suggested I stop smoking. I've tried to quit dozens of times and the last attempt (I was on the prayer list for it) failed just like all the others did. Suggest I quit and I'm going to get ticked off because it reminds me of my many failures.
I'm going to bet your friend has tried dozens of diets over the years and realizes her problems are related to her obesity but just can't muster the self control necessary to stick with a diet.
Me? I'm wearing a nicotine patch as I type and about to slap on the first patch from the stage 2 box. 14 days without a cigarette. Hopefully, I have sufficient motivation to stick with it this time. I'm breathing much better. My lung capacity has nearly doubled. I've gained 4 pounds and saved $135.... well, let's call it ten bucks since I bought a Mucci pool cue worth about $400 for a buck and a quarter.
I'd ask to be put back on the prayer list, but hesitate since all your effort didn't keep me stopped last time. I feel as though I've let you down.
Leg? A lot better. I still have a slight limp and I'm able to bend the knee 150 degrees. I was picking up a few degrees every week, but lately the progress has slowed a lot. Every gain comes after a lot of discomfort from putting a wide elastic band from foot to thigh and more or less forcing the joint to give me a bit more over an hour or 2. I do that 2 or 3 times a week and suffer for 2 days after. Painful yes, like dieting, but it works
Prayer, positive vibes, positive thoughts etc. are helpful. I have felt them on more than one occasion and am convinced that, plus an amazing surgeon's skill, that got me through life threatening surgery two years ago. Prayer and positive thinking always helps, but even that isn't as strong as some addictions.
All I can offer is the formula that works in most cases:
1. You are powerless over the addiction but there is power to block its power it if we accept it, i.e. power that goes beyond will power that often/usually fails us. Some call it God. Some call it group force. But whatever it is, it is real if we are able to yield to it.
IMPORTANT: There is no shame whatsoever in failure or multiple failures. The only shame is the unwillingness to try. By all means use available help if it really helps. For myself going cold turkey was the only answer even though the initial assault on my mind and body was fierce.
2. Quitting cigarettes/chewing tobacco or other nicotine addictions is just as difficult as quitting booze, other drugs, gambling, or other addictions.
3. Quitting cigarettes triggers withdrawal systems that are miserable. While the worst cravings last only about five days after complete cessation--be prepared to distract yourself with whatever it takes during that time but don't use activities in which you normally smoke to distract yourself--those cravings will keep coming for some time and you will need the distractions. The craving attacks are not constant but hit you intermittently and, if resisted, will lessen significantly after awhile.
4. It takes 21 days for the nicotine to completely leave the system and longer to retrain yourself to be comfortable without tobacco to calm yourself down, to help you focus, give yourself time to think, the tactile pleasure of handling/lighting, give yourself something to do, make yourself feel normal, or just enjoy. During that time expect:
a) Intermittent intense craving attacks to the point you can feel frantic, but if you resist, it will pass after a relatively short time. It will pass more quickly if you distract yourself with a non-smoking activity.
b) The terrible craving attacks that can take you to your knees, if you can resist them, over days and weeks will gradually come further apart and lessen in intensity, and be of shorter duration.
c) The day comes when you realize you have gone hours or a whole day without thinking about smoking.
d) When you get to the point that smoking bothers you and is unpleasant for you to be around, you can pronounce yourself recovered from the addiction. Even one cigarette, however, can break your sobriety or set you back to Day One. Avoid that temptation by remembering what Day One and the many days that followed it were like.
I say this as one trained by the National Cancer Society to run stop smoking clinics. I also say this as one who was armed with this information but quit maybe a hundred times before it finally took. I quit for three years once--I ran stop smoking clinics during that time--and then went back to the darn things. But I kept at it. I haven't had a cigarette since the mid 1980's. And I haven't wanted one for a couple of decades.
I've hear all this before. as for #2, in my experience, quitting tobacco is MORE difficult than quitting drinking. I don't fall down if I've had too many cigarettes I don't get arrested if I drive after smoking and most importantly the effects of smoking take many years to catch up with you and you can always put quitting off.Being overweight is a lot like smoking. The effects creep up on you over many years and you barely notice until you end up with COPD in my case, or heart problems or diabetes. Any of these problems can be helped a great deal with life style changes.Well..someone is totally pissed at me. Acquaintence of mine I have known many years just told me (via text) that she wants nothing more to do with me. Which is fine. She has always been a manipulative whiney hypochondriac so its no loss.
However, she got all indignant over something and I wanted your opinions on whether I was "too rude" to her.
All this happened via text. And I shortened it enough so you get the gist without the rest of the bullshit. The red font is what pissed her off.
Her: I just got out of the hospital.
Me: What's wrong?
Her: I have A-Fib.
Me: Are you better now?
Her: My blood pressure is 230/185 and has been for years. My heart was vibrating instead of beating.
Me: MrG has a-fib. He's on warfarin. That is probably what they will put you on.
Her: No, they want to do surgery.
Me: Surgery is dangerous. If you want to control your BP naturally, maybe try a Paleo Diet? Weight is an issue, I am not trying to be rude.
Her: WE ALL HAVE OUR FLAWS! Even people with bad attitudes like you!!!!!
Me: Do you get defensive when your doc tells you you need to lose weight or do you save that for me?
Her: I will not be friends with you any more. Your tongue is too sharp. My heart cannot take it.
Me: You want me to baby you and I refuse to. If you want to live, you have to get some weight off. It will help your doctors AND you.
Her: I am done with you. Begone.
Me:. Ok. Adios.
Now..this gal weighs 375 lbs and is obese and has been for many years.
Was I rude in suggesting a paleo diet or ANY diet? Is that having a sharp tongue?
I always got a bit miffed at people who suggested I stop smoking. I've tried to quit dozens of times and the last attempt (I was on the prayer list for it) failed just like all the others did. Suggest I quit and I'm going to get ticked off because it reminds me of my many failures.
I'm going to bet your friend has tried dozens of diets over the years and realizes her problems are related to her obesity but just can't muster the self control necessary to stick with a diet.
Me? I'm wearing a nicotine patch as I type and about to slap on the first patch from the stage 2 box. 14 days without a cigarette. Hopefully, I have sufficient motivation to stick with it this time. I'm breathing much better. My lung capacity has nearly doubled. I've gained 4 pounds and saved $135.... well, let's call it ten bucks since I bought a Mucci pool cue worth about $400 for a buck and a quarter.
I'd ask to be put back on the prayer list, but hesitate since all your effort didn't keep me stopped last time. I feel as though I've let you down.
Leg? A lot better. I still have a slight limp and I'm able to bend the knee 150 degrees. I was picking up a few degrees every week, but lately the progress has slowed a lot. Every gain comes after a lot of discomfort from putting a wide elastic band from foot to thigh and more or less forcing the joint to give me a bit more over an hour or 2. I do that 2 or 3 times a week and suffer for 2 days after. Painful yes, like dieting, but it works
Prayer, positive vibes, positive thoughts etc. are helpful. I have felt them on more than one occasion and am convinced that, plus an amazing surgeon's skill, that got me through life threatening surgery two years ago. Prayer and positive thinking always helps, but even that isn't as strong as some addictions.
All I can offer is the formula that works in most cases:
1. You are powerless over the addiction but there is power to block its power it if we accept it, i.e. power that goes beyond will power that often/usually fails us. Some call it God. Some call it group force. But whatever it is, it is real if we are able to yield to it.
IMPORTANT: There is no shame whatsoever in failure or multiple failures. The only shame is the unwillingness to try. By all means use available help if it really helps. For myself going cold turkey was the only answer even though the initial assault on my mind and body was fierce.
2. Quitting cigarettes/chewing tobacco or other nicotine addictions is just as difficult as quitting booze, other drugs, gambling, or other addictions.
3. Quitting cigarettes triggers withdrawal systems that are miserable. While the worst cravings last only about five days after complete cessation--be prepared to distract yourself with whatever it takes during that time but don't use activities in which you normally smoke to distract yourself--those cravings will keep coming for some time and you will need the distractions. The craving attacks are not constant but hit you intermittently and, if resisted, will lessen significantly after awhile.
4. It takes 21 days for the nicotine to completely leave the system and longer to retrain yourself to be comfortable without tobacco to calm yourself down, to help you focus, give yourself time to think, the tactile pleasure of handling/lighting, give yourself something to do, make yourself feel normal, or just enjoy. During that time expect:
a) Intermittent intense craving attacks to the point you can feel frantic, but if you resist, it will pass after a relatively short time. It will pass more quickly if you distract yourself with a non-smoking activity.
b) The terrible craving attacks that can take you to your knees, if you can resist them, over days and weeks will gradually come further apart and lessen in intensity, and be of shorter duration.
c) The day comes when you realize you have gone hours or a whole day without thinking about smoking.
d) When you get to the point that smoking bothers you and is unpleasant for you to be around, you can pronounce yourself recovered from the addiction. Even one cigarette, however, can break your sobriety or set you back to Day One. Avoid that temptation by remembering what Day One and the many days that followed it were like.
I say this as one trained by the National Cancer Society to run stop smoking clinics. I also say this as one who was armed with this information but quit maybe a hundred times before it finally took. I quit for three years once--I ran stop smoking clinics during that time--and then went back to the darn things. But I kept at it. I haven't had a cigarette since the mid 1980's. And I haven't wanted one for a couple of decades.
Right now the nicotine withdrawal is minor. I'm using the nicotine patched. I started stage 2 yesterday and do notice the difference but it's better today than yesterday. I'm beginning to taste food again. The cup of coffee in front of me is suburb.
I thinl I'll make it this time, Foxy
I went to see my grammy in the nursing home this weekend. It is just sad seeing her now. I was just telling my friend that I miss her so much and she isn't even dead yet. She reverts a lot back into her childhood nowadays. She sometimes thinks my aunt (her daughter) is her mother and has no idea who I am. Other times it seems she knows who I am but she still has that childlike demeanor about her. She carries a stuffed cat (that looks surprisingly realistic), which she just adores. She constantly has it in her arms and pats it and talks to it like it is a real cat or something. Anyways, it seems to make her happy and I suppose it is kind of like therapy for it. It is kind of cute how much she cares about that thing.
You're making the place your own on some very basic levels, Gracie. And I'll be that with the nasty carpet gone, the place smells lots better, too!Remember when I told you about how this place when I moved in? Well...all the shagalicious carpet in the dining room, bar room and hallway is GONE. Beautiful wood flooring under that mess! The kitchen gets new flooring this saturday. Painting kitchen this week, MrG and I. So, its coming along! next project after the kitchen floor is removing the shagalicious from the living room so that gorgeous wood floor gleams. We will be doing that in the next two or three weeks. Then the roofers will be here to put on the new roof. Things are getting better.
You would always be welcome. I can promise you'd have loads of space for gardening and tons of critters to commune with. How do you feel about operating a tractor and a backhoe?Telling ya, GW...if MrG goes over rainbowbridge before me...I'm heading to alaska!
Sometimes I wonder whether things are going south for me. Today, I was sorting and labeling things for my materials shed. I came across some items and the name was on the tip of my tongue. I just couldn't remember "turnbuckle". I had to ask my partner. Sometimes, it's like a big bubble wells up in my mind and when it pops, POOF!, all thoughts are gone.I went to see my grammy in the nursing home this weekend. It is just sad seeing her now. I was just telling my friend that I miss her so much and she isn't even dead yet. She reverts a lot back into her childhood nowadays. She sometimes thinks my aunt (her daughter) is her mother and has no idea who I am. Other times it seems she knows who I am but she still has that childlike demeanor about her. She carries a stuffed cat (that looks surprisingly realistic), which she just adores. She constantly has it in her arms and pats it and talks to it like it is a real cat or something. Anyways, it seems to make her happy and I suppose it is kind of like therapy for it. It is kind of cute how much she cares about that thing.
Chris I absolutely missed this post until GW responded to it. And been there done that with loved ones. Hombre's mom died on her 100th birthday but she was pretty much out of it for a number of years and you wonder if the person is actually still in there. The long goodbye in all forms of severe dementia is painful and hard to watch.
I am glad my Mom did not suffer that and I am glad that once her cancer was diagnosed that it took her quickly--within three months--so she did not have to endure a nursing home when we could no longer care for her. She told us that if we ever put her into one she would come back and haunt us for the rest of our lives. We believed her.
My aunt Betty--only her and a first cousin left of her generation--will turn 91 in four days and is not as sharp as she once was--it takes her a bit longer to remember things or get her mind around a new process--but she does really really REALLY well and enjoys a great deal of quality of life. That is what we should all want in our last years here.
lol. I drove a tractor once and it was tilling a field. I did pretty good..not too many wavey linesYou would always be welcome. I can promise you'd have loads of space for gardening and tons of critters to commune with. How do you feel about operating a tractor and a backhoe?Telling ya, GW...if MrG goes over rainbowbridge before me...I'm heading to alaska!
It already does. His friends have come over to visit him as well as me, and when they get to my tiny very cute room, they whisper "we are SO glad you are here. He has been on the ball! And..NO STINK!"You're making the place your own on some very basic levels, Gracie. And I'll be that with the nasty carpet gone, the place smells lots better, too!Remember when I told you about how this place when I moved in? Well...all the shagalicious carpet in the dining room, bar room and hallway is GONE. Beautiful wood flooring under that mess! The kitchen gets new flooring this saturday. Painting kitchen this week, MrG and I. So, its coming along! next project after the kitchen floor is removing the shagalicious from the living room so that gorgeous wood floor gleams. We will be doing that in the next two or three weeks. Then the roofers will be here to put on the new roof. Things are getting better.
