Anyone else grieving?

[Old Rocks]

One of the sad things about getting old is that there is an increasing tattoo of funerals of friends, relatives, and peers to go to. And each is different, and strikes us in a different manner. At 74, I still have my mother, who is 93, but her brothers and sisters who are still alive are all in their 80's and 90's. And Dad, and all his brothers and sisters are already gone.

For me, some parts of the grieving never quite end. I had a first cousin that was my best friend and a fellow millwright, we worked on many jobs together, that died of an asbestos related cancer 13 years ago. When I get a particularly gnarly job or one that has a peculiar twist to it, I still find myself thinking, "wait until I tell Dave about this one". And there are some songs that Dad used to play on his guitar, he had a beautiful high tenor voice, that when I hear them, I have a hard time holding the tears back. Yes, life is for the living, and we must continue to live it to the fullest, but there are special people in all our lives that will be with us for the rest of the time we have allotted, and we will miss them always.

 

[Dalia]

Hello, Saturday I was at the funeral of my friend, at the church I was sitting at the back of the church and I was waiting I looked at his picture of my decease friend and people arrived there were a lot of people and his wife and his son passed by me crying they looked at me that it's hard to see someone suffer so much and I know what it is.
At the end of the ceremony I went out with my three friends and there it was raining all at once and the hearse came and they carry out the coffin from the church and I saw through the glass his coffin and the flowers the people pushed to let the hearse past but I stayed there in front and I said Au Revoir Jean-Yves with my hand.
And strangely because I did that, it helped me

 

[Witchit]

I lost my mom 2/13/2011 after a long battle with Lewy Body Dementia.

I lost my baby sister 5/29/14 after a long battle with chronic alcoholism.

I lost my nephew, her son, 12/18/16 because essentially life is pain, and he'd lost too much, too young. He was sixteen.

My sister and I are only thirteen months apart, and we're pretty much inseparable because in large part we are all we have left.

We each have an offspring who is married and has two and three children respectively, but our family of origin was a family of six, now down to three.

The grieving shows up at the damnedest times. I think my sister may be jealous because I frequently see our loved ones in my dreams, and she either doesn't dream or doesn't remember.

I generally refer to it as a 'tsunami of grief' because it does feel like drowning and the only words left are "no" and "why." And then there's the times I just sit here with tears leaking from my eyes. Not crying. No sobbing, no noise. Just tears.

I have a small bottle of Shalimar. It was my mom's favorite perfume. I take off the topper and smell it just to feel close to her, sometimes.

The death of a marriage (2008) as opposed to the death of a spouse? You miss hugs, hearing I love you every day. Holding hands, saying the same thing at the same time and declaring one of us unnecessary, lol!

Life was very good until suddenly it wasn't.

To the OP, I am sorry for your loss. Since the death was unexpected, it's worse in a way. Just my opinion. You don't get to brace yourself, you just get blindsided, so it's a two-fold emotional crippling: shock, and loss.

 

[yiostheoy]

Witchit I checked and ricechickie is still around here but spends most of her time in the FZ where people insult each other superfluously.

So she has left the grieving stage and has entered the blaming stage, on this. She blames the other dumbazzes in the FZ for everything.

It means she is further along the road to recovery and it's looking good.

More practically speaking, if you cannot be with the one you love then love the one youre with.

 

[ricechickie]

Witchit I checked and ricechickie is still around here but spends most of her time in the FZ where people insult each other superfluously.

So she has left the grieving stage and has entered the blaming stage, on this. She blames the other dumbazzes in the FZ for everything.

It means she is further along the road to recovery and it's looking good.

More practically speaking, if you cannot be with the one you love then love the one youre with.

Umm, I’ve never heard of the “blaming” stage. But then again, I don’t see grieving as a checklist.

I’m just doing my best to live on my own two feet and decide what I want out of my future.

I also spend time reading and posting in the Coffee Shop.

 

[yiostheoy]

Witchit I checked and ricechickie is still around here but spends most of her time in the FZ where people insult each other superfluously.

So she has left the grieving stage and has entered the blaming stage, on this. She blames the other dumbazzes in the FZ for everything.

It means she is further along the road to recovery and it's looking good.

More practically speaking, if you cannot be with the one you love then love the one youre with.

Umm, I’ve never heard of the “blaming” stage. But then again, I don’t see grieving as a checklist.

I’m just doing my best to live on my own two feet and decide what I want out of my future.

I also spend time reading and posting in the Coffee Shop.

It's how you vent your anger.

Five Stages of Grief by Elisabeth Kubler Ross & David Kessler

 

[ricechickie]

Witchit I checked and ricechickie is still around here but spends most of her time in the FZ where people insult each other superfluously.

So she has left the grieving stage and has entered the blaming stage, on this. She blames the other dumbazzes in the FZ for everything.

It means she is further along the road to recovery and it's looking good.

More practically speaking, if you cannot be with the one you love then love the one youre with.

Umm, I’ve never heard of the “blaming” stage. But then again, I don’t see grieving as a checklist.

I’m just doing my best to live on my own two feet and decide what I want out of my future.

I also spend time reading and posting in the Coffee Shop.

It's how you vent your anger.

Five Stages of Grief by Elisabeth Kubler Ross & David Kessler

I don’t necessarily believe in those stages.

 

[Dalia]

When a person we love sometime a song reminds us of this person me my friend who leaves us in January is this song that we were listening together his favorite song in the spring and summer talking at my patio, he is gone I will miss him this spring and summer.

 

[Witchit]

When a person we love sometime a song reminds us of this person me my friend who leaves us in January is this song that we were listening together his favorite song in the spring and summer talking at my patio, he is gone I will miss him this spring and summer.

I completely lost it when I heard "Brown Eyed Girl" in the final days of my sister's life.

 

[Dalia]

When a person we love sometime a song reminds us of this person me my friend who leaves us in January is this song that we were listening together his favorite song in the spring and summer talking at my patio, he is gone I will miss him this spring and summer.

I completely lost it when I heard "Brown Eyed Girl" in the final days of my sister's life.

Sorry for your lost, it is a good song that remind you of your sister , so sorry for you, me i lost my brother i know the pain
This is the song that was playing when i learn that he pass away.

 

[Witchit]

We got the phone call the evening of Memorial Day, 2014 that my little sister was in ICU, organs failing. We'd been estranged for years, and my first thought was "What if she's not actually dying, and I get sucked back into that toxic environment?" But she was. I went to say good-bye Tuesday afternoon, and so that song .....

 

[Witchit]

Then Thursday they said they were removing her from life support. I said no, I've already said good-bye.

My older sister called at 3:40 pm and said she was gone - but that was when they removed her. I knew she was gone at 2:30 when I lost my damn mind during this song. That's when I knew there was such a thing as a tsunami of grief.



At "sail on, silver girl" ... I can't.

I'm 11.5 years older than my baby sister so she wasn't just my sister, I was inordinately aware of her as a small helpless being, as opposed to me, headed for teenhood. So when my heart breaks, I remember her ... we were so close though. Until she met her husband, and everything changed. We were best friends when she was in her mid- to late-teens. I pretty much lost her in 1990, and we were estranged off and on but omg did I love and miss her.

And then she was really gone, and my heart shattered.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm here listening if you want to share as well.

 

[Dalia]

We got the phone call the evening of Memorial Day, 2014 that my little sister was in ICU, organs failing. We'd been estranged for years, and my first thought was "What if she's not actually dying, and I get sucked back into that toxic environment?" But she was. I went to say good-bye Tuesday afternoon, and so that song .....

It's sad,i am sorry for you me too I have sisters and I love it all

 

[Dalia]

Then Thursday they said they were removing her from life support. I said no, I've already said good-bye.

My older sister called at 3:40 pm and said she was gone - but that was when they removed her. I knew she was gone at 2:30 when I lost my damn mind during this song. That's when I knew there was such a thing as a tsunami of grief.



At "sail on, silver girl" ... I can't.

I'm 11.5 years older than my baby sister so she wasn't just my sister, I was inordinately aware of her as a small helpless being, as opposed to me, headed for teenhood. So when my heart breaks, I remember her ... we were so close though. Until she met her husband, and everything changed. We were best friends when she was in her mid- to late-teens. I pretty much lost her in 1990, and we were estranged off and on but omg did I love and miss her.

And then she was really gone, and my heart shattered.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm here listening if you want to share as well.

It is a remedy to speak about it even if it is not easy after the death of my father my mother was devastated the doctor told her to write what she felt because she could not express herself

 

[Michelle420]

Then Thursday they said they were removing her from life support. I said no, I've already said good-bye.

My older sister called at 3:40 pm and said she was gone - but that was when they removed her. I knew she was gone at 2:30 when I lost my damn mind during this song. That's when I knew there was such a thing as a tsunami of grief.



At "sail on, silver girl" ... I can't.

I'm 11.5 years older than my baby sister so she wasn't just my sister, I was inordinately aware of her as a small helpless being, as opposed to me, headed for teenhood. So when my heart breaks, I remember her ... we were so close though. Until she met her husband, and everything changed. We were best friends when she was in her mid- to late-teens. I pretty much lost her in 1990, and we were estranged off and on but omg did I love and miss her.

And then she was really gone, and my heart shattered.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm here listening if you want to share as well.

I was there when they took my sister off life support. It was devastating. Sorry for your loss.

 

[Dalia]

Sorry for your lost drifter
There are moments when we remember moment with loved ones and other moments are lost forever.
The memory remember good or bad times and sometimes the everyday life.
I also realize that there is something strange about dates too relate to dead.
I tell you, I lost my brother on Christmas day and December 29, 2015 I was with my military friend, (i need to be just with him )who died on January 15, 2017, he was hospitalized in early December 2017 and he sent me a last SMS to tell me that he loved me very much that he was thinking of me on December 29, 2017 (I could not go see him at the hospital it was only his wife and son that could go see him ) This last SMS was sent 2 years day to the day he was comfortingn me after the death of my brother. He told me about death as if he knew he would die as young.

 

[Michelle420]

Sorry for your lost drifter
There are moments when we remember moment with loved ones and other moments are lost forever.
The memory remember good or bad times and sometimes the everyday life.
I also realize that there is something strange about dates too relate to dead.
I tell you, I lost my brother on Christmas day and December 29, 2015 I was with my military friend, (i need to be just with him )who died on January 15, 2017, he was hospitalized in early December 2017 and he sent me a last SMS to tell me that he loved me very much that he was thinking of me on December 29, 2017 (I could not go see him at the hospital it was only his wife and son that could go see him ) This last SMS was sent 2 years day to the day he was comfortingn me after the death of my brother. He told me about death as if he knew he would die as young.

I've had 3 suicides in my family and one murder, also outside family my mom's friend was murdered too. I think when someone suicides or is murdered it feels so awful then when someone passes from old age. It feels like there is never closure.

 

[Dalia]

Sorry for your lost drifter
There are moments when we remember moment with loved ones and other moments are lost forever.
The memory remember good or bad times and sometimes the everyday life.
I also realize that there is something strange about dates too relate to dead.
I tell you, I lost my brother on Christmas day and December 29, 2015 I was with my military friend, (i need to be just with him )who died on January 15, 2017, he was hospitalized in early December 2017 and he sent me a last SMS to tell me that he loved me very much that he was thinking of me on December 29, 2017 (I could not go see him at the hospital it was only his wife and son that could go see him ) This last SMS was sent 2 years day to the day he was comfortingn me after the death of my brother. He told me about death as if he knew he would die as young.

I've had 3 suicides in my family and one murder, also outside family my mom's friend was murdered too. I think when someone suicides or is murdered it feels so awful then when someone passes from old age. It feels like there is never closure.

I'm sorry for you, it's a lot of tragedy for the same family.
A friend of mine was struck by fate, by misfortune who lost her husband, mother and father in the same year has almost no one left. this girl was bubbling with joy and now she is having trouble getting up in the morning so much she is facing grief, this year I have her come home at Christmas day in my family. she came and I'm glad I was able to give her some joy and a little less solitude

 

[Michelle420]

Sorry for your lost drifter
There are moments when we remember moment with loved ones and other moments are lost forever.
The memory remember good or bad times and sometimes the everyday life.
I also realize that there is something strange about dates too relate to dead.
I tell you, I lost my brother on Christmas day and December 29, 2015 I was with my military friend, (i need to be just with him )who died on January 15, 2017, he was hospitalized in early December 2017 and he sent me a last SMS to tell me that he loved me very much that he was thinking of me on December 29, 2017 (I could not go see him at the hospital it was only his wife and son that could go see him ) This last SMS was sent 2 years day to the day he was comfortingn me after the death of my brother. He told me about death as if he knew he would die as young.

I've had 3 suicides in my family and one murder, also outside family my mom's friend was murdered too. I think when someone suicides or is murdered it feels so awful then when someone passes from old age. It feels like there is never closure.

I'm sorry for you, it's a lot of tragedy for the same family.
A friend of mine was struck by fate, by misfortune who lost her husband, mother and father in the same year has almost no one left. this girl was bubbling with joy and now she is having trouble getting up in the morning so much she is facing grief, this year I have her come home at Christmas day in my family. she came and I'm glad I was able to give her some joy and a little less solitude

Earnest Hemmingway's family history had 5 suicides.

 

[Witchit]

Then Thursday they said they were removing her from life support. I said no, I've already said good-bye.

My older sister called at 3:40 pm and said she was gone - but that was when they removed her. I knew she was gone at 2:30 when I lost my damn mind during this song. That's when I knew there was such a thing as a tsunami of grief.



At "sail on, silver girl" ... I can't.

I'm 11.5 years older than my baby sister so she wasn't just my sister, I was inordinately aware of her as a small helpless being, as opposed to me, headed for teenhood. So when my heart breaks, I remember her ... we were so close though. Until she met her husband, and everything changed. We were best friends when she was in her mid- to late-teens. I pretty much lost her in 1990, and we were estranged off and on but omg did I love and miss her.

And then she was really gone, and my heart shattered.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm here listening if you want to share as well.

I was there when they took my sister off life support. It was devastating. Sorry for your loss.

I'm so sorry. In a strange sense, I am grateful we were estranged because I can't even imagine the level of pain for close siblings. I've seen it, in my ex-housemate, and a dear cyber friend, both losing brothers far too young. One to manslaughter, the other to addiction.

It throws the earth off its axis, such unexpected loss.