If god of the bible was psychoanalyzed...

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If god of the bible was psychoanalyzed, he would be diagnosed bi-polar and schizophrenic.

 

[Indeependent]

If god of the bible was psychoanalyzed, he would be diagnosed bi-polar and schizophrenic.

No problem.
Point out the issue and go back 10 verses.

Or

Which God do you prefer?

Or perhaps no God at all in which case no one's life improved in the last 30 seconds anyway.

 

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He would be diagnosed bi-polar for his mood swings and schizophrenic for his irrational behaviour.

 

[Indeependent]

I have enough trouble keeping up with my wife.

 

[Mr. H.]

Since when did God start granting interviews?

 

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God Diagnosed With Bipolar Disorder

NEW HAVEN, CT–In a diagnosis that helps explain the confusing and contradictory aspects of the cosmos that have baffled philosophers, theologians, and other students of the human condition for millennia, God, creator of the universe and longtime deity to billions of followers, was found Monday to suffer from bipolar disorder.

Rev. Dr. J. Henry Jurgens, a practicing psychiatrist and doctor of divinity at Yale University Divinity School, announced the historic diagnosis at a press conference.

"I always knew there had to be some explanation," Jurgens said. "And, after several years of patient research and long sessions with God Almighty through the intercessionary medium of prayer, I was able to pinpoint the specific nature of His problem."


More at link:
God Diagnosed With Bipolar Disorder | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

 

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Since when did God start granting interviews?

lol

 

[GISMYS]

if god of the bible was psychoanalyzed, he would be diagnosed bi-polar and schizophrenic.

best you learn your place in god's creation!!! Man is less than a germ on a worm on a germ as compared to almighty god!!! Why would you think you could match brain power with almighty god????????????

 

[Mr. H.]

God (whatever that might be) was a singular entity. I think of it as "Adam". You know, the guy in the Bible.

Pure spirit, infinite energy. Nothing else.

And that state of entity would never have changed for all eternity if not for "Eve". Another Bible character.

The Garden of Eden existed for an immeasurable amount of time (at least in the sense that we perceive time). Why? Because this duality could not exist in pure spiritual form.

Ergo, the "Big Bang". The coming into being of the physical universe.

Adam and Eve's expulsion from the Garden of Eden.

And now..... you know.... the rest of the story.

G'day!

 

[DriftingSand]

If god of the bible was psychoanalyzed, he would be diagnosed bi-polar and schizophrenic.

Normal always appears to be weird or abnormal from a "bipolar, schizophrenic" perspective. God's the only truly "normal" Entity in the room. But if He truly doesn't exist as you claim then your post and thread poses a moot point.

 

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But if He truly doesn't exist as you claim then your post and thread poses a moot point.

It is irrelevant to this thread whether or not god in fact exists. This thread is about how god's character, as described in the bible, would be diagnosed if it was psychoanalyzed.

 

[Vox]

If god of the bible was psychoanalyzed, he would be diagnosed bi-polar and schizophrenic.

it is clear you have absolutely no idea what is bipolar or schizophrenic.

don't show your ignorance so openly and one might actually think you are much smarter.

Both illnesses have very clear cut sets of symptoms.

 

[Vox]

Rev. Dr. J. Henry Jurgens, a practicing psychiatrist and doctor of divinity at Yale University Divinity School, announced the historic diagnosis at a press conference.

"I always knew there had to be some explanation," Jurgens said. "And, after several years of patient research and long sessions with God Almighty through the intercessionary medium of prayer, I was able to pinpoint the specific nature of His problem."

looks like the doctor is in an acute need of some risperdal himself

and this one seems like a typical New Yorker who needs to blame anybody for her misfortunes and tragedies since he can't deal with her grief herself:

New York attorney Ruth Kanner also gained firsthand knowledge of God's wild mood swings.

"Last Saturday, on a gorgeous spring afternoon, I was jogging in Central Park with my daughter. We were marveling at the beauty and majesty of nature, and I remember thinking what a wonderful world we live in. Then, out of nowhere, I heard the gunfire," said Kanner, speaking from her hospital bed at Columbia Presbyterian Medical Center. "All they took was a measly $17, and for that, the doctors say my daughter will never walk again. If only Our Holy Father didn't have those mental problems, my precious Katie might not be confined to a wheelchair for the rest of her life."

P.S. It's the onion so no need to take that shit seriously

 

[pacer]

If god of the bible was psychoanalyzed, he would be diagnosed bi-polar and schizophrenic.

it is clear you have absolutely no idea what is bipolar or schizophrenic.

don't show your ignorance so openly and one might actually think you are much smarter.

It is totally unnecessary to be insulting. I posted this thread as a joke. Besides, mood swings is one of the symptoms of bi-polar disorder and irrational (or distorted) thinking is one of the symptoms of schizophrenia.

P.S. It's the onion so no need to take that shit seriously

Exactly. There is no need to get ones shorts in a knot.

 

[AVG-JOE]

if god of the bible was psychoanalyzed, he would be diagnosed bi-polar and schizophrenic.

best you learn your place in god's creation!!! Man is less than a germ on a worm on a germ as compared to almighty god!!! Why would you think you could match brain power with almighty god????????????

Because no God is more powerful than the creatures who imagined It in to being.

 

[Delta4Embassy]

If god of the bible was psychoanalyzed, he would be diagnosed bi-polar and schizophrenic.

Abandonment issues common to orphans leading to antisocial tendencies and sociopathic behaviours. Megalomania in the strongest terms with related Napolean Complex.

...I take that all back. Was only kidding. (just in case.)

 

[editec]

If god of the bible was psychoanalyzed, he would be diagnosed bi-polar and schizophrenic.

The OT GOD is clearly nuts.


He's much more like a GREEK GOD than a Christian one.

 

[Vox]

If god of the bible was psychoanalyzed, he would be diagnosed bi-polar and schizophrenic.

it is clear you have absolutely no idea what is bipolar or schizophrenic.

don't show your ignorance so openly and one might actually think you are much smarter.

It is totally unnecessary to be insulting. I posted this thread as a joke. Besides, mood swings is one of the symptoms of bi-polar disorder and irrational (or distorted) thinking is one of the symptoms of schizophrenia.

P.S. It's the onion so no need to take that shit seriously

Exactly. There is no need to get ones shorts in a knot.

Nope. try not to be an online psychiatrist

 

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try not to be an online psychiatrist

Likewise.

 

[Indeependent]

If god of the bible was psychoanalyzed, he would be diagnosed bi-polar and schizophrenic.

The OT GOD is clearly nuts.


He's much more like a GREEK GOD than a Christian one.

Explain.