Mola Ram Says He Has Found No Evidence To Support Trump’s Claim Of Heart-Ripping Ceremonies Taking Place Within Temple Of Doom

[Votto]

Mola Ram Says He Has Found No Evidence To Support Trump’s Claim Of Heart-Ripping Ceremonies Taking Place Within Temple Of Doom
World·Sep 12, 2024 · BabylonBee.com
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INDIA — In yet another bold fact-check of presidential candidate Donald Trump's statements, Thuggee high priest Mola Ram has recently stepped forward to say that he has found absolutely no evidence whatsoever to support Trump's allegations of heart-ripping ceremonies taking place within the Temple of Doom.

Trump's claim in question came during Tuesday's debate, when the Republican candidate alleged that Ram had sacrificed a man by extracting his heart and lowering the victim into a lava pit.

"After a thorough fact-check with my sources, there is zero evidence to support Mr. Trump's claim of heart-ripping ceremonies in the Temple of Doom," Mola Ram explained, wiping blood off of his hands with a ceremonial towel. "We have investigated the building in question and found no evidence of victims, lava pits, or ripped-out hearts. Mr. Trump's claim has therefore been completely debunked as a racist and probably sexist slander against the peaceful religion of the Thuggees."

While Mola Ram's statement has been called into question by the discovery of lava pits, a ripped-out heart, and video footage of a victim being lowered into molten rock in the Temple of Doom, several media outlets have clarified that Mr. Trump is still probably lying about his truth claims.

"Tragically, Donald Trump has continued to spread his debunked misinformation conspiracies," wrote one writer for the Atlantic. "Orange Man Bad. Throw him in the lava."

At publishing time, Mola Ram had debunked Trump's claim that the priest had attempted to tear his heart out while Trump was hanging from a rope bridge over a river full of crocodiles by saying that he had found no evidence to support it.

 

[JackOfNoTrades]

Wow. I actually have to say, the image of the bad guy from Indiana Jones was actually funny....until the Bee went into crying and whining mode because poor widdle Trump was the one dumb enough to bring up animals and babies being eaten.

 

[Votto]

Wow. I actually have to say, the image of the bad guy from Indiana Jones was actually funny....until the Bee went into crying and whining mode because poor widdle Trump was the one dumb enough to bring up animals and babies being eaten.

Wait.............wut?

For the love of God, don't tell me you started to crack a smile.

Wouldn't want you to break that pretty face of yours.

 

[pknopp]

BUT it's on the INTERNET. People are saying it on the internet so it has to be true.

 

[Votto]

BUT it's on the INTERNET. People are saying it on the internet so it has to be true.

Yes, but sure.

If you can't rely on fake news you can trust with the Babylon Bee, who can you trust?

Nobody, that's who.

 

[JackOfNoTrades]

Wait.............wut?

For the love of God, don't tell me you started to crack a smile.

Wouldn't want you to break that pretty face of yours.

The image?..sure. But then, it had to take a turn into trying to paint Trump as a martyr....when he was the one who brought the "eatin" up in the debate.

 

[Votto]

The image?..sure. But then, it had to take a turn into trying to paint Trump as a martyr....when he was the one who brought the "eatin" up in the debate.

According to local sources, they chose Kamala at one point to be sacrificed, but once they realized she had no heart to take out, they realized she would not make an appropriate sacrifice and had to find another instead.

So sad.