"Every miracle in the book is a slap in the face to science..."
This is only the case if one treats the Bible as literal truth, rather than metaphor or allegory .
Only the least intelligent do so.
Raise your paw, Underwear.
If there appears something in the Torah that is intellectually impossible to accept or contrary to the evidence of our senses, then we must search for a hidde meaning. This is because intelligence is the basis of the Torah. The Torah was not given to ignoramuses.
Dershowitz, The Genesis of Justice.
If you ask nicely, I'll post an OP on fundamentalism and the Bible.
That's all well and good. But when you start talking about intellectually impossible to accept or contrary to evidence, the whole damn concept of god comes into question.
So that begs the question. Where do you draw the line? If you say Jesus didn't actually walk on water, did he actually raise Lazarus from the dead? Did he himself rise from the dead?
If one feels constrained to sign on to what others say, or write, then your predicament feels real.
I am not of that viewpoint. I feel able to analyze based on my own intelligence and experience.
Dershowitz wrote something which you might incorporate, and would ameliorate your problem:
I do not feel bound by any particular interpretation, nor do I regard any as authoritative or dispositive. We may interpret a text according to our own lights. The marketplace of ideas is the sole judge of the validity or usefulness of a given interpretation. Tradition certainly has a vote but not a veto.
Great. There's no reason to accept what is written in the bibles. Accept what you're comfortable with, dismiss the rest and make the religion what you like it to be.
How convenient.