Zone1 Pastors Reveal Their 10 Favorite Types Of Church Members

[Votto]

Pastors Reveal Their 10 Favorite Types Of Church Members
SPONSORED·Jun 10, 2024 · BabylonBee.com

Churchgoers come in all shapes, sizes, and types, making the body of Christ a veritable cornucopia of humanity. Among these seemingly disparate examples of human beings, pastors have a few favorites.

The Babylon Bee took an official poll of all pastors everywhere to come up with the following list of their favorite types of church members:

1. The potluck freeloader: Typically a single guy who eats everything and brings nothing.
2. The "I've only been to your church twice but I'd like to bring a prophetic word" weirdo: Always a coincidence that God seems to pick the really sketchy people to speak through, isn't it?
3. The tambourine lady: Maureen brings the flavor to every worship service.
4. The older man who sings all the hymns an octave lower than what should be possible: Scientists remain baffled at his range despite years of intense study.
5. The woman dropping her kids off at VBS for free babysitting: Don't worry, she'll be back to pick them up an hour after VBS ends every day.
6. The crying babies: Honestly, they're better than everyone else.
7. The church softball team ringer: Steve had 20 homers and 85 RBI last summer!
8. The guy who's been faithfully attending for 20 years but still brings up rank heresy at Bible study: Hopefully he has only led a small number of believers completely off track.
9. The "I'll show up three times a year but tell you I don't feel fed here" lady: And it's all your fault, pastor.
10. The devoted parishioner who knows you aren't perfect and doesn't always agree with you but loves you anyway and prays for you daily: Thank you, Lord, for the good ones.

The list above makes up the very fabric of a church's congregation. Yes, they're all pinky toes and elbows in the Body of Christ, but they're integral nonetheless.

 

[strollingbones]

mostly the ones that give 10 % of their gross income

 

[1srelluc]

mostly the ones that give 10 % of their gross income

.......And free labor if they are in the trades.....Better yet if they steal stuff off their work site to use at the church.

LOL.....Back in the late 60s my dad had a painting gig on the side and our pastor asked him to "do a little painting" at the church.....He got there and he wanted him to basically paint the entire church inside and out. Dad looked it over and told him it would be about 3K minus materials and left.....He never heard back.

 

[strollingbones]

 

[ding]

The ones on the outside throwing rocks at the ones on the inside.

 

[strollingbones]