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No. You didn't say that. Newby did. Newby said I had no right to feel hurt or offended and then started polling other posters to see if they would all agree I had no right to feel hurt.
I don't think newby was polling anyone. You do seem to feel that everyone is in some gang to get you though. This is the second time in this thread that your say as much to me. First you say i am in league with allie...and now newby. That is a bit paranoid sky.
It looks as if you say that i am saying you dont have the right to have your feelings hurt as it is me that you quote and respond to. I have no idea what went on in that thread...i only read the permalink of maires post and gave an opinion on that post.
Here's another joke: "Just because I'm paranoid, doesn't mean you aren't all out to get me!"
No, I don't think there is a coordinated, "mean girls club" out to get me. I do think there is a tendency on some message boards to gang up on posters.
It can feel that way sometimes, doesn't mean it's intentional.
Two men are talking in the bar sharing their sob stories.
One man says, "I had the worst Freudian Slip the other day."
The other man responds, "What is a Freudian Slip?"
"You know, it's when you mean to say one thing, but you say something else that reveals what you are really thinking about. Like the other day I was at the airport and this really beautiful lady was helping me. Instead of asking her for 'two tickets to Pittsburgh', I asked her for 'to Pickets to Tittsburgh."
he second replies, "Oh, now I know what you are talking about. It's like the other day when I was having breakfast with my wife. I wanted her to pass me the Orange Juice, and instead I said, "YOU RUINED MY LIFE!"
I don't think newby was polling anyone. You do seem to feel that everyone is in some gang to get you though. This is the second time in this thread that your say as much to me. First you say i am in league with allie...and now newby. That is a bit paranoid sky.
It looks as if you say that i am saying you dont have the right to have your feelings hurt as it is me that you quote and respond to. I have no idea what went on in that thread...i only read the permalink of maires post and gave an opinion on that post.
Here's another joke: "Just because I'm paranoid, doesn't mean you aren't all out to get me!"
No, I don't think there is a coordinated, "mean girls club" out to get me. I do think there is a tendency on some message boards to gang up on posters.
It can feel that way sometimes, doesn't mean it's intentional.
Do you feel that i am out to get you sky? Do you feel all of us are out to get you? Do you feel ganged up on? Am i ganging up on you, or responding to you as an individual?
First you accuse me of being "into force" and now you think i am "out to get you" and there is this allsion to me being in a "gang" though i am not in a "mean girls club"
Let me show you how it works. What if i am sensitive and all of that hurts my feelings?
Two men are talking in the bar sharing their sob stories.
One man says, "I had the worst Freudian Slip the other day."
The other man responds, "What is a Freudian Slip?"
"You know, it's when you mean to say one thing, but you say something else that reveals what you are really thinking about. Like the other day I was at the airport and this really beautiful lady was helping me. Instead of asking her for 'two tickets to Pittsburgh', I asked her for 'to Pickets to Tittsburgh."
he second replies, "Oh, now I know what you are talking about. It's like the other day when I was having breakfast with my wife. I wanted her to pass me the Orange Juice, and instead I said, "YOU RUINED MY LIFE!"
Nervous laughter sky? I guess i hit home.
Here's another joke: "Just because I'm paranoid, doesn't mean you aren't all out to get me!"
No, I don't think there is a coordinated, "mean girls club" out to get me. I do think there is a tendency on some message boards to gang up on posters.
It can feel that way sometimes, doesn't mean it's intentional.
Do you feel that i am out to get you sky? Do you feel all of us are out to get you? Do you feel ganged up on? Am i ganging up on you, or responding to you as an individual?
First you accuse me of being "into force" and now you think i am "out to get you" and there is this allsion to me being in a "gang" though i am not in a "mean girls club"
Let me show you how it works. What if i am sensitive and all of that hurts my feelings?
If I hurt your feelings, then I'm sorry. I didn't mean to.
This is what I actually said in the post: "No, I don't think there is a coordinated, "mean girls club" out to get me." I do think sometimes it can feel that way.
I hope you can see the difference.
Do you feel that i am out to get you sky? Do you feel all of us are out to get you? Do you feel ganged up on? Am i ganging up on you, or responding to you as an individual?
First you accuse me of being "into force" and now you think i am "out to get you" and there is this allsion to me being in a "gang" though i am not in a "mean girls club"
Let me show you how it works. What if i am sensitive and all of that hurts my feelings?
If I hurt your feelings, then I'm sorry. I didn't mean to.
This is what I actually said in the post: "No, I don't think there is a coordinated, "mean girls club" out to get me." I do think sometimes it can feel that way.
I hope you can see the difference.
I understood what you meant.
And no you did not hurt my feelings, and thank you for the apology anyway.
The point i am trying to make is that the things we say and they way they are meant...may NOT be what is read or taken away from the words. You did not mean to hurt my feelings with what you said...but you could have. You can not control how the person on the other end responds. Just as when things are said to you... they are not meant to hurt your feelings....but you are hurt none the less.
. . . .You can not control how the person on the other end responds. Just as when things are said to you... they are not meant to hurt your feelings....but you are hurt none the less.
--that was not what I intended at all. i read and reread my post to be sure I hadn't said that, but accepted that this is how Care read it. We can either get mad at others for misunderstanding our intent and attempt to punish, shame, or embarrass them, or we can try to salvage the relationship by trying to help them understand what we meant.If I hurt your feelings, then I'm sorry. I didn't mean to.
This is what I actually said in the post: "No, I don't think there is a coordinated, "mean girls club" out to get me." I do think sometimes it can feel that way.
I hope you can see the difference.
I understood what you meant.
And no you did not hurt my feelings, and thank you for the apology anyway.
The point i am trying to make is that the things we say and they way they are meant...may NOT be what is read or taken away from the words. You did not mean to hurt my feelings with what you said...but you could have. You can not control how the person on the other end responds. Just as when things are said to you... they are not meant to hurt your feelings....but you are hurt none the less.
I agree. Sometimes people don't mean to hurt your feelings but they do. That's what Marie and I figured out. I never thought she was intending to be hurtful or offensive, but she still hurt and offended me by her post nonetheless.
One of the reasons I think we got over it so fast, is that she apologized right away and was clearly concerned that she had hurt me.
Thank you for understanding.
sky
I understood what you meant.
And no you did not hurt my feelings, and thank you for the apology anyway.
The point i am trying to make is that the things we say and they way they are meant...may NOT be what is read or taken away from the words. You did not mean to hurt my feelings with what you said...but you could have. You can not control how the person on the other end responds. Just as when things are said to you... they are not meant to hurt your feelings....but you are hurt none the less.
I agree. Sometimes people don't mean to hurt your feelings but they do. That's what Marie and I figured out. I never thought she was intending to be hurtful or offensive, but she still hurt and offended me by her post nonetheless.
One of the reasons I think we got over it so fast, is that she apologized right away and was clearly concerned that she had hurt me.
Thank you for understanding.
sky
I think you need to toughen up a bit sky, and not take things so personally. This is a message board...and a rough one at that.
The point neyby and i both make to you is that if you dish it you also need to take it.
If I hurt your feelings, then I'm sorry. I didn't mean to.
This is what I actually said in the post: "No, I don't think there is a coordinated, "mean girls club" out to get me." I do think sometimes it can feel that way.
I hope you can see the difference.
I understood what you meant.
And no you did not hurt my feelings, and thank you for the apology anyway.
The point i am trying to make is that the things we say and they way they are meant...may NOT be what is read or taken away from the words. You did not mean to hurt my feelings with what you said...but you could have. You can not control how the person on the other end responds. Just as when things are said to you... they are not meant to hurt your feelings....but you are hurt none the less.
I agree. Sometimes people don't mean to hurt your feelings but they do. That's what Marie and I figured out. I never thought she was intending to be hurtful or offensive, but she still hurt and offended me by her post nonetheless.
One of the reasons I think we got over it so fast, is that she apologized right away and was clearly concerned that she had hurt me.
Thank you for understanding.
sky
. . . .You can not control how the person on the other end responds. Just as when things are said to you... they are not meant to hurt your feelings....but you are hurt none the less.
(Disclaimer for those who object to snips from longer posts--I did that here. I don't think I changed Syrenn's point in any way by doing so however. . . ..)
In my opinion, this is the most pertinent and important observation from this entire long thread.
First Sky, you can't start a thread like this without people responding to you directly. The one who starts the thread sort of invites being ganged up on to a certain extent. In this case I and I think several others took the OP to be accusatory. That was partly because you now have a history at USMB and some, including me, may have read more into that short OP than what you intended and took exception to it. Others may have read the same thing into it that we did and agree with that perception 100%.
The point is, good intentions or bad intentions may produce different responses in others and however we intended our statement to be received, there will be some who will take it different.
Care jumped all over me the other day when she read one of my posts as me wanting to deny voting privileges to non tax payers. However much I might wish to do that--
Now I had a choice. Be angry at Care for jumping on me or misunderstanding what I was saying. . . .or being hurt that I was being unfairly criticized. . . .or I could accept that she was sincerely expressing a point of view based on a misunderstanding. It doesn't take a genius to choose the more grown up response to that.
So Syrenn nailed it. We cannot control how others will perceive or understand what we are saying and sometimes they will be offended or hurt or angered by what we say however much our intent was not to offend or hurt or anger somebody. I have the neg reps to prove it.
And if what we meant is what we said and they are hurt, angry, offended. . . well. . . that's something else quite again.
Ho hum.
You've called me names before...albeit in private neg-rep land.
I did not volunteer to be counseled on my spiritual choices or to be proselytized. Some of you might consider what would have happened if I had told Marie that she needed Buddha and that Christianity wasn't her true path, or anyone's true path at all. Further, that I had a group of Buddhists posting on here that would put her down when she objected to me 'questioning her faith' and tell her she had no right to her feelings.
I did not volunteer to be counseled on my spiritual choices or to be proselytized. Some of you might consider what would have happened if I had told Marie that she needed Buddha and that Christianity wasn't her true path, or anyone's true path at all. Further, that I had a group of Buddhists posting on here that would put her down when she objected to me 'questioning her faith' and tell her she had no right to her feelings.
Are you kidding? Do you read any other forums on this site?
Christians get told the Christianity is based on nothing but myth and so many other things all the time on this site. Much, much, much more so than Buddhists do. All you need to do is read some of the left wing fanatics that post here and you will find it happening all the time. In fact, a very good place to start might be any of the hundreds of threads on evolution.
I suppose most of us have just learned to deal with it rather than get too upset about it.
Immie
I did not volunteer to be counseled on my spiritual choices or to be proselytized. Some of you might consider what would have happened if I had told Marie that she needed Buddha and that Christianity wasn't her true path, or anyone's true path at all. Further, that I had a group of Buddhists posting on here that would put her down when she objected to me 'questioning her faith' and tell her she had no right to her feelings.
Are you kidding? Do you read any other forums on this site?
Christians get told the Christianity is based on nothing but myth and so many other things all the time on this site. Much, much, much more so than Buddhists do. All you need to do is read some of the left wing fanatics that post here and you will find it happening all the time. In fact, a very good place to start might be any of the hundreds of threads on evolution.
I suppose most of us have just learned to deal with it rather than get too upset about it.
Immie
Yes, I see some of the posts that say that Christianity is nothing but myth. I don't post on the evolution thread because I'm not interested in creation theology.
My point is this. If I had done to Marie what she did to me in that post, folks here would have been ALL OVER ME.
Ho hum.
You've called me names before...albeit in private neg-rep land.
Neg reps are NOT private. Feel free to post ANY of mine where I've called you names.
Why? I don't feel the need. Just pointing out, again, you're a hypocrite.
Are you kidding? Do you read any other forums on this site?
Christians get told the Christianity is based on nothing but myth and so many other things all the time on this site. Much, much, much more so than Buddhists do. All you need to do is read some of the left wing fanatics that post here and you will find it happening all the time. In fact, a very good place to start might be any of the hundreds of threads on evolution.
I suppose most of us have just learned to deal with it rather than get too upset about it.
Immie
Yes, I see some of the posts that say that Christianity is nothing but myth. I don't post on the evolution thread because I'm not interested in creation theology.
My point is this. If I had done to Marie what she did to me in that post, folks here would have been ALL OVER ME.
But then, you have a slanted view of things. Your perceptions are never accurate.
