An advice thread

[JOSweetHeart]

When you come to the fork in the road, take it.

I think that I know what it is that you are trying to say here, but you still do need to pick a direction to go in.

God bless you always!!!

Holly

 

[Concerned American]

Don't take any wooden nickels!

That's what my dad told me when I was 15 and he threw me out.

 

[Concerned American]

I think that I know what it is that you are trying to say here, but you still do need to pick a direction to go in.

God bless you always!!!

Holly

I think that was a Shecky Green line.

 

[shockedcanadian]

Advice we learn to heed early in Canada, don't eat yellow snow.

 

[Alan Stallion]

You know how a player will throw a ball into the crowd in celebration? You can't do that in bowling. I know that now.

 

[Remodeling Maidiac]

Don't ask strangers for device?

 

[Concerned American]

Don't ask strangers for device?

What kind do you need? A machinist, woodworkers or pipe vice.

 

[Remodeling Maidiac]

What kind do you need? A machinist, woodworkers or pipe vice.

Spell checking lol

 

[The Duke]

Don't step in front of a Mack truck going 70 mph.

 

[Leo123]

A wet bird never flies at night.

 

[Alan Stallion]

I get some of my best advice from Chris Rock:

• Don't go to parties with metal detectors
  Sure it feels safe inside, but what about
  All those n****z waitin' outside with guns?
  They know you ain't got one
• If a woman tells you she's 20 and looks 16, she's 12
  If she tells you she's 26, and looks 26, she's damn near 40
• Take off that silly-ass hat
• The O.D.B. couldn't have possibly committed all those crimes
  Coolio did some of that s**t
• Young black men, if you go to a movie theater and someone steps on your foot, let it slide
  Why spend the next twenty years in jail
  'Cause someone smudged your Puma?
• Cornbread, ain't nuttin' wrong with that

 

[BackAgain]

Don't step in front of a Mack truck going 70 mph.

65 MPH is sure safer.

 

[BackAgain]

When you come to the fork in the road, take it.

Johnny Carson lives!

 

[Leo123]

How about if you pull in front of a semi truck, don't smash your brakes?

 

[Alan Stallion]

Whenever possible, put people on hold.

 

[Alan Stallion]

Know yourself. If you need help, call the F.B.I.

 

[Leo123]

When you get an unknown caller, never talk. Just hold your phone up to anything making noise. They will hang up. Block that caller.

 

[BackAgain]

When a gentleman approaches you declaring that he’s from the government and is here to help you, maybe consider if you believe him.

 

[The Duke]

When you get an unknown caller, never talk. Just hold your phone up to anything making noise. They will hang up. Block that caller.

I just keep going "Dwoop! Dwoop! Dwoop! Dwoop!"

 

[Alan Stallion]

Alan's tip for weight loss: instead of regular spaghetti, get the thin spaghetti, I mean, c'mon, it's right on the package. Thin spaghetti. If you go and get the thick spaghetti, well, that's on you. Don't come crying to me. "Oh look, Alan's advice, I'll just wad it up on a ball and throw it in the trash with the 5-day leftover meatloaf and that half-eaten bagel." Is that what you think of me? Look, I'm trying to help.