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I got one today that tried selling me on Medicare Advantage plans. He couldn't speak English in a way that could be understood. After about five minutes of answering every question he asked with "I'm not verifying anything over the phone," he actually lost it and told me "You're wasting my time!" I laughed and hung up. I guess turnabout is fair play. LMAO.When you get an unknown caller, never talk. Just hold your phone up to anything making noise. They will hang up. Block that caller.
What if that person is tran-slender?Alan's tip for weight loss: instead of regular spaghetti, get the thin spaghetti, I mean, c'mon, it's right on the package. Thin spaghetti. If you go and get the thick spaghetti, well, that's on you. Don't come crying to me. "Oh look, Alan's advice, I'll just wad it up on a ball and throw it in the trash with the 5-day leftover meatloaf and that half-eaten bagel." Is that what you think of me? Look, I'm trying to help.
A wet bird never flies at night.
When you get an unknown caller, never talk. Just hold your phone up to anything making noise. They will hang up. Block that caller.
If she asks you "does this dress make me look fat"?
Reply "No...the FAT makes you look fat"!
That's not GOOD advice unless you're looking for a fight.If she asks you "does this dress make me look fat"?
Reply "No...the FAT makes you look fat"!
Put your money into Berkshire Hathaway, never look backRegardless of what it’s about, share some of your best advice.
For examples:
On personal hygiene, the advice might be:“Floss and brush. Old you will thank younger you.”
On politics, your advice might be the old standard, tried and true gem:
“Friends don’t let friends vote Democrat.”
That's not GOOD advice unless you're looking for a fight.
Guys: when at the urinal to tap a kidney, it is always a good idea to unzip your pants before proceeding.
Ummm I'm a woman and I already know I'm fat because I love to eat lol
Here is my advice:
1. Learn to cook and clean.
2. Pay for a hooker.
3. Use a condom or get your nuts cut!
Follow those three simple rules and your life will be so much better!
No shit!Experience talking there!!!!
Meh, those are battle scars baby!Don't fry bacon naked.
Don't ask me how I know...
No shit!
Never make unwanted kids because the Woman, State and Child will own you until you die.
Do you remember Jerry Reed?
He had a song about this and he stated only if he had learned how to cook!
I started cooking at the age of ten, so ya know whatever I am sleeping with is because I want the nooky and not her cooking!
