Are You Bored In Your Marriage....?

[Bonzi]

You can't seem to grasp the point and I can't get you to understand. Let's move on.

You made the claim that you knew of people who divorced for what you consider "trivial" reasons. What are those trivial reasons? It's a simple question.

It is a simple question, but it's irrelevant to the discussion we were having.

No it is not irrelevant. The fact that you refuse to answer the simple questions says a ton. A trivial reason for you, may not be so trivial for another. That is the bottom line. Thankfully, people are not obligated to stay in a marriage that makes them unhappy people, and why should they? For someone else's sense of what is "moral" and what is "righteous?" Bullshit.

It isn't an irrelevant question if we look at it as a stand alone question. It's absolutely irrelevant to the discussion we were having. Do you want to have a separate discussion about my friend's divorces? Fine, but you asked it originally in response to our discussion and it wasn't relevant.

Actually, that discussion is off topic for this thread and you have already been warned by a mod to stay on topic. I would advise you do so.

I do think your stance is relevant. Why else would a marriage be torn apart by trivial matters if the partners are not bored. Of course there may be other factors but boredom is certainly one of them.

You have work to keep the boredom away.... you need at least one person to do the work. 2 lazy people who want to be entertained won't work.

 

[Alex.]

You made the claim that you knew of people who divorced for what you consider "trivial" reasons. What are those trivial reasons? It's a simple question.

It is a simple question, but it's irrelevant to the discussion we were having.

No it is not irrelevant. The fact that you refuse to answer the simple questions says a ton. A trivial reason for you, may not be so trivial for another. That is the bottom line. Thankfully, people are not obligated to stay in a marriage that makes them unhappy people, and why should they? For someone else's sense of what is "moral" and what is "righteous?" Bullshit.

It isn't an irrelevant question if we look at it as a stand alone question. It's absolutely irrelevant to the discussion we were having. Do you want to have a separate discussion about my friend's divorces? Fine, but you asked it originally in response to our discussion and it wasn't relevant.

Actually, that discussion is off topic for this thread and you have already been warned by a mod to stay on topic. I would advise you do so.

I do think your stance is relevant. Why else would a marriage be torn apart by trivial matters if the partners are not bored. Of course there may be other factors but boredom is certainly one of them.

You have work to keep the boredom away.... you need at least one person to do the work. 2 lazy people who want to be entertained won't work.

If two people want the same thing they will never be bored in pursuing their dream.

 

[Bonzi]

It is a simple question, but it's irrelevant to the discussion we were having.

No it is not irrelevant. The fact that you refuse to answer the simple questions says a ton. A trivial reason for you, may not be so trivial for another. That is the bottom line. Thankfully, people are not obligated to stay in a marriage that makes them unhappy people, and why should they? For someone else's sense of what is "moral" and what is "righteous?" Bullshit.

It isn't an irrelevant question if we look at it as a stand alone question. It's absolutely irrelevant to the discussion we were having. Do you want to have a separate discussion about my friend's divorces? Fine, but you asked it originally in response to our discussion and it wasn't relevant.

Actually, that discussion is off topic for this thread and you have already been warned by a mod to stay on topic. I would advise you do so.

I do think your stance is relevant. Why else would a marriage be torn apart by trivial matters if the partners are not bored. Of course there may be other factors but boredom is certainly one of them.

You have work to keep the boredom away.... you need at least one person to do the work. 2 lazy people who want to be entertained won't work.

If two people want the same thing they will never be bored in pursuing their dream.

True, that's why you need to be careful that you have the same interests and desires in life.
And that one is not threatened by the other and wants to squash them and their achievements.
Many people say they are on board with the program, only to switch gears later. Not good.

 

[007]

... or is it as exciting as the day you first met?
... or is it just different?

Do you think people confuse infatuation with love, get married, and when (IF!) the infatuation wears off they think they are no longer in love?

Been single, (not married), since 1986 and love it. I've had a ton of girl friends. If the relationship ever gets stale or nagging starts, I end it, rather than cheat.

 

[Bonzi]

... or is it as exciting as the day you first met?
... or is it just different?

Do you think people confuse infatuation with love, get married, and when (IF!) the infatuation wears off they think they are no longer in love?

Been single, (not married), since 1986 and love it. I've had a ton of girl friends. If the relationship ever gets stale or nagging ever starts, I end it, rather than cheat.

THIS! If you are never satisfied, don't get married! Just move along...excellent!

 

[Pop23]

I never even considered the possibility of marring a board.

You people are just weird

 

[Bonzi]

I never even considered the possibility of marring a board.

You people are just weird

This board is marred in many ways...by many undesireables!

 

[007]

... or is it as exciting as the day you first met?
... or is it just different?

Do you think people confuse infatuation with love, get married, and when (IF!) the infatuation wears off they think they are no longer in love?

Been single, (not married), since 1986 and love it. I've had a ton of girl friends. If the relationship ever gets stale or nagging ever starts, I end it, rather than cheat.

THIS! If you are never satisfied, don't get married! Just move along...excellent!

Exactly, being single doesn't mean you have license to cheat. It's still bad. Just end it and move on instead of hurting people.

 

[Pop23]

I never even considered the possibility of marring a board.

You people are just weird

This board is marred in many ways...by many undesireables!

Hate it when that happens.

Anyway, my wife and I are very happy and excited every time we see each other.

At least I think we are. Hold on ill check.

She said "sure dear" when I asked her, so all good here

 

[Bonzi]

... or is it as exciting as the day you first met?
... or is it just different?

Do you think people confuse infatuation with love, get married, and when (IF!) the infatuation wears off they think they are no longer in love?

Been single, (not married), since 1986 and love it. I've had a ton of girl friends. If the relationship ever gets stale or nagging ever starts, I end it, rather than cheat.

THIS! If you are never satisfied, don't get married! Just move along...excellent!

Exactly, being single doesn't mean you have license to cheat. It's still bad. Just end it and move on instead of hurting people.

I've never understood that. Why if people lose interest in the person they are dating or find someone they like better, or just want to fool around, break up. Unless you are in a relationship where you are allowed to date others and I have yet to find an instance where that works.

There is a guy on here that claims he has an open marriage and it works. I'd have to say that is very rare.

 

[Bonzi]

I never even considered the possibility of marring a board.

You people are just weird

This board is marred in many ways...by many undesireables!

Hate it when that happens.

Anyway, my wife and I are very happy and excited every time we see each other.

At least I think we are. Hold on ill check.

She said "sure dear" when I asked her, so all good here

My husband gets VERY excited, especially when I start talking back to him or yelling. I'm the designated "calm" person which is a scary thing in an of itself.....

 

[playtime]

Just celebrated our 30th this summer & my heart still pounds when I hear hubby walk in the door... & we still 'play' with each other like we always have. He's my best friend as well.

 

[PredFan]

And I'm trying to show you that that is beside the point.

It is not besides the point. It is a claim you made. You said you have friends and family members who have divorced over "trivial" reasons, yet you cannot name these reasons. Hmm. I think perhaps you don't really know their reasons and cannot judge whether or they were "trivial." PEOPLE should not expect to remain married to a person who does not bring them joy and happiness. That is the bottom line.

You can't seem to grasp the point and I can't get you to understand. Let's move on.

You made the claim that you knew of people who divorced for what you consider "trivial" reasons. What are those trivial reasons? It's a simple question.

It is a simple question, but it's irrelevant to the discussion we were having.

No it is not irrelevant. The fact that you refuse to answer the simple questions says a ton. A trivial reason for you, may not be so trivial for another. That is the bottom line. Thankfully, people are not obligated to stay in a marriage that makes them unhappy people, and why should they? For someone else's sense of what is "moral" and what is "righteous?" Bullshit.

Well, I'm done trying to get through to you.

 

[PredFan]

I answered it. I said I wouldn't divorce her, I'd Baker Act her.

You can't do that. You might disagree with and not like her views, but you cannot have a person committed for such reasons. So that takes that right off the table. So what are you going to do now?

Yes I can and yes I would. I'm telling you that I wouldn't marry a woman who was a liberal. My wife is a conservative and I know her mind. For her to suddenly become a liberal would be a sign that there is something terribly wrong with her. You just don't shift your mind that radically. She's smart and informed and for her to suddenly become an ignorant left wing myrmidon would be a sign of mental imbalance.

This is nothing but partisan hackmanship. How about you try answering the question honestly? People have certainly been known to "switch sides."

Umm, are you saying I'm lying?

No, I'm saying that you are avoiding answering the question in an honest way. That much is quite obvious. Someone else might think the example I gave, of your wife turning more liberal, would be a "trivial" reason and that you should remain married.

Yeah you are saying that but I'm not lying and I did answer your question.

 

[PredFan]

You're lost. Let me help you:


Someone else said: "People get divorced for leaving socks on the floor."
You said: "No one gets divorced for something that silly."
I said: "He was exaggerating, trying to prove a point. I know a lot of people who got divorced over trivial things."
You said; "Well to them they are not so trivial."
I said: "Just like leaving socks on the floor is not too trivial."

It has nothing to do with what my friends got divorced over.

Are we clear now?

It's why I filtered her out. It's like sticking your head in a paint mixer.

She's somewhat conservative, at least in the last few threads I have seen her participate in. I tend to try to give conservatives a lot of slack when I can.

She is too wack for your slack , run while you still can. The issue of divorcing for trivial matters has been prominent in today's throw away society.

Lol, I also happen to be killing time waiting for a friend. We are going to the gun range to get some practice in. I've got nothing else to do until he rings the doorbell.

Answering a ding dong while waiting for the door to go ding dong. That is the sign of a man who would be a patient husband.

ROTFLMAO

 

[PredFan]

You can't seem to grasp the point and I can't get you to understand. Let's move on.

You made the claim that you knew of people who divorced for what you consider "trivial" reasons. What are those trivial reasons? It's a simple question.

It is a simple question, but it's irrelevant to the discussion we were having.

No it is not irrelevant. The fact that you refuse to answer the simple questions says a ton. A trivial reason for you, may not be so trivial for another. That is the bottom line. Thankfully, people are not obligated to stay in a marriage that makes them unhappy people, and why should they? For someone else's sense of what is "moral" and what is "righteous?" Bullshit.

It isn't an irrelevant question if we look at it as a stand alone question. It's absolutely irrelevant to the discussion we were having. Do you want to have a separate discussion about my friend's divorces? Fine, but you asked it originally in response to our discussion and it wasn't relevant.

Actually, that discussion is off topic for this thread and you have already been warned by a mod to stay on topic. I would advise you do so.

Good, then they can see Alex's and Ice Weasels personal attacks and completely irrelevant posts on the topic. Call a mod.

I don't ever call mods. I was just trying to save you from getting banned.

 

[PredFan]

You can't seem to grasp the point and I can't get you to understand. Let's move on.

You made the claim that you knew of people who divorced for what you consider "trivial" reasons. What are those trivial reasons? It's a simple question.

It is a simple question, but it's irrelevant to the discussion we were having.

No it is not irrelevant. The fact that you refuse to answer the simple questions says a ton. A trivial reason for you, may not be so trivial for another. That is the bottom line. Thankfully, people are not obligated to stay in a marriage that makes them unhappy people, and why should they? For someone else's sense of what is "moral" and what is "righteous?" Bullshit.

It isn't an irrelevant question if we look at it as a stand alone question. It's absolutely irrelevant to the discussion we were having. Do you want to have a separate discussion about my friend's divorces? Fine, but you asked it originally in response to our discussion and it wasn't relevant.

Actually, that discussion is off topic for this thread and you have already been warned by a mod to stay on topic. I would advise you do so.

Why don't you just admit that you don't really know what you speak of? No, people do not have to remain married to a person who makes them feel unhappy, regardless of whether of you think their personal reasons are "trivial."

Now you are just making stuff up. I never said any of that. What if leaving socks on the floor makes them unhappy?

 

[PredFan]

You can't seem to grasp the point and I can't get you to understand. Let's move on.

You made the claim that you knew of people who divorced for what you consider "trivial" reasons. What are those trivial reasons? It's a simple question.

It is a simple question, but it's irrelevant to the discussion we were having.

No it is not irrelevant. The fact that you refuse to answer the simple questions says a ton. A trivial reason for you, may not be so trivial for another. That is the bottom line. Thankfully, people are not obligated to stay in a marriage that makes them unhappy people, and why should they? For someone else's sense of what is "moral" and what is "righteous?" Bullshit.

It isn't an irrelevant question if we look at it as a stand alone question. It's absolutely irrelevant to the discussion we were having. Do you want to have a separate discussion about my friend's divorces? Fine, but you asked it originally in response to our discussion and it wasn't relevant.

Actually, that discussion is off topic for this thread and you have already been warned by a mod to stay on topic. I would advise you do so.

I do think your stance is relevant. Why else would a marriage be torn apart by trivial matters if the partners are not bored. Of course there may be other factors but boredom is certainly one of them.

I know my stance is relevant but her question about my friends divorce wasn't.

 

[Alex.]

You made the claim that you knew of people who divorced for what you consider "trivial" reasons. What are those trivial reasons? It's a simple question.

It is a simple question, but it's irrelevant to the discussion we were having.

No it is not irrelevant. The fact that you refuse to answer the simple questions says a ton. A trivial reason for you, may not be so trivial for another. That is the bottom line. Thankfully, people are not obligated to stay in a marriage that makes them unhappy people, and why should they? For someone else's sense of what is "moral" and what is "righteous?" Bullshit.

It isn't an irrelevant question if we look at it as a stand alone question. It's absolutely irrelevant to the discussion we were having. Do you want to have a separate discussion about my friend's divorces? Fine, but you asked it originally in response to our discussion and it wasn't relevant.

Actually, that discussion is off topic for this thread and you have already been warned by a mod to stay on topic. I would advise you do so.

I do think your stance is relevant. Why else would a marriage be torn apart by trivial matters if the partners are not bored. Of course there may be other factors but boredom is certainly one of them.

I know my stance is relevant but her question about my friends divorce wasn't.

I know. The whole friends digression was circular and frustrated the whole conversation. I am glad you made some very good points!

 

[PredFan]

You have to understand and accept that there will be bordom. It WILL happen and its normal.

I hate to give advice to newly weds but when pressed I tell them this:

You are promising to love one person forever. Realize that a LOT of changes will occur in "the rest of your lives". You cannot avoid it, you cannot stop it. The one thing that won't change is who you are deep inside.

Boredom will come when you both have told all of your stories, when you have kids and other responsibilities and you just want some peace and quiet but your spouse needs some excitement. You can only deal with these situations when you realize that they are inevitable and temporary.