Bullying does not lead to suicide

[Noomi]

I have said this before, and will say it again, the problem is not that teens are bullies, the problem is that some of them need help they are not getting.

All suicides are tragic and complicated. And teen suicides are particularly devastating because as adults we recognize all that lost potential.
Yet, in perpetuating these stories, which are often little more than emotional linkbait, journalists are complicit in a gross oversimplification of a complicated phenomenon. In short, we’re getting the facts wrong.
The common narrative goes like this: Mean kids, usually the most popular and powerful, single out and relentlessly bully a socially weaker classmate in a systemic and calculated way, which then drives the victim into a darkness where he or she sees no alternative other than committing suicide.
And yet experts – those who study suicide, teen behavior and the dynamics of cyber interactions of teens – all say that the facts are rarely that simple. And by repeating this inaccurate story over and over, journalists are harming the public’s ability to understand the dynamics of both bullying and suicide.

http://www.poynter.org/latest-news/...-on-the-rise-and-it-does-not-lead-to-suicide/

Respectfully, you are wrong.
I was severely bullied in school and I was seeing a counselor after I tried to commit suicide by overdosing on pills. During the time I was being counseled, twice a week, as well as being on a strong dose of anti-depressants, I was still being bullied, and I tried to commit suicide twice more.

I was getting the help I needed, but sometimes, its not enough.

I don't speak for everyone, but I can say that it doesn't just come down to a person not getting the help they need - oftentimes, its the bullies who are directly responsible.

 

[Book of Jeremiah]

If you are victim of bullying in the past, be forewarned that this video is very troubling. There is nothing of value in here for you to see so I'd skip this one. But for those who do not understand the dynamics of a bullys family. This is the classic dysfunctional bully's family:





[ame=http://youtu.be/q_bGkVa4wrc]Bully victim confronts parents of her abuser - YouTube[/ame]

I don't believe Dr. Phil handled this discussion well as he failed to confront the bullys parents directly for their downplaying the trauma their son caused. It is very apparent to me that the son who didn't have the courage to come on the show learned his bullying behavior from his very own mother. In my opinion she shows the signs of being a sociopath. If you cannot watch entire video fast forward to right before end as the producers rewinded the video to show the bullys mother privately taunting the victims mother right there in the studio. The audience gasps when they see it. Finally the woman is exposed for what she truly is.

 

[Noomi]

If you are victim of bullying in the past, be forewarned that this video is very troubling. There is nothing of value in here for you to see so I'd skip this one. But for those who do not understand the dynamics of a bullys family. This is the classic dysfunctional bully's family:





Bully victim confronts parents of her abuser - YouTube

I don't believe Dr. Phil handled this discussion well as he failed to confront the bullys parents directly for their downplaying the trauma their son caused. It is very apparent to me that the son who didn't have the courage to come on the show learned his bullying behavior from his very own mother. In my opinion she shows the signs of being a sociopath. If you cannot watch entire video fast forward to right before end as the producers rewinded the video to show the bullys mother privately taunting the victims mother right there in the studio. The audience gasps when they see it. Finally the woman is exposed for what she truly is.

I didn't see that episode but I saw a similar one with a young girl who had been bullied and she confronted her bullies.
I also remember a story about a teenager who killed herself/himself due to bullying and the bullies were in the in audience. Long time ago, though, that episode.

 

[Book of Jeremiah]

About this last video. Imagine if the girl had taken her life. Then imagine this interview with the Bullys parents. The sociopathic behavior of the mother in my opinion would have stayed intact in that scenario just as it did in this one. Why? She has no conscience in my opinion. She appears to be completely void of any emotion at all unless she is speaking of her son and that is also about her - not her son - or she would have sought mental help for herself and her son long ago.

Instead you see her blaming the victim for shaming her son. That is not taking responsibility. That is her vindicating herself and her sons behavior. She has no compassion for the girl on the stage seated next to her mother. None. My heart truly goes out to the girl and her mother because what is happening to them here is a deep root of bitterness is trying to take hold in their hearts. This is the objective aside from tormenting the victim - is to create long lasting bitterness and hurt so that trust and forgiveness are next to impossible. It is probably one of the most satanic things someone can do to another human being. It is the very same thing holocaust deniers do to the Jews when they deny the holocaust ever happened. It is already inconceivable what the Jewish survivors endured during their years in those death camps. But just imagine coming out to a world who later denies it ever happened! Or that it wasn't "as bad " as you say it was! Or imagine the rape victim who is told it must have been the way she was dressed! It is the same evil aftermath that heaps even greater abuse upon the victim because people refuse to come to terms with the truth! The truth is the truth, people! Bullying leads to suicide! If your children are doing that to other children? PULL THEM OUT OF SCHOOL NOW! Put them in a mental health facility and get them help! Or homeschool them! But do not allow them to harm other people! It is your responsibility first to do something about it! - Jeri

 

[Book of Jeremiah]

If you are victim of bullying in the past, be forewarned that this video is very troubling. There is nothing of value in here for you to see so I'd skip this one. But for those who do not understand the dynamics of a bullys family. This is the classic dysfunctional bully's family:





Bully victim confronts parents of her abuser - YouTube

I don't believe Dr. Phil handled this discussion well as he failed to confront the bullys parents directly for their downplaying the trauma their son caused. It is very apparent to me that the son who didn't have the courage to come on the show learned his bullying behavior from his very own mother. In my opinion she shows the signs of being a sociopath. If you cannot watch entire video fast forward to right before end as the producers rewinded the video to show the bullys mother privately taunting the victims mother right there in the studio. The audience gasps when they see it. Finally the woman is exposed for what she truly is.

I didn't see that episode but I saw a similar one with a young girl who had been bullied and she confronted her bullies.
I also remember a story about a teenager who killed herself/himself due to bullying and the bullies were in the in audience. Long time ago, though, that episode.

I am deeply sorry to hear of what you endured, Noomi. You should never have been put through that! I am praying for you that your memories are completely healed from all of that torture. No child should be put through that! Parents need to pull their children out of school and homeschool them.

To the Parents who are reading: Do Homeschool. Get a group together and bring other children that age into the group so that your child has friends their own age and share the homeschool plan so each parent can be involved. I find many young people love it these days because their time is more their own and it isn't such a rigid schedule! There are so many options - even by computer they have classes but why put our children through something that can be avoided?! Get creative out there, Parents and believe your children when they tell you they cannot endure another day of it! They are telling you the truth! LISTEN TO THEM! If you don't protect your children who will?

 

[Book of Jeremiah]

I don't think we can make a blanket statement that it leads or does not lead to suicide-- depends on the individual case.

But it's interesting to see who starts a thread trying to get bullying off the hook.

Just sayin'.

Funny, I didn't see anyone trying to get bullying off the hook.

Go have a look in the mirror. - Jeri

 

[Book of Jeremiah]

Why the hell would they sue the school rmfaol.

For the harm done to them. Read this:


Ex-Pendleton Heights (IN) High School student wins bullying lawsuit - UPI.com

The victim said she reported the incident to administrators but was initially sent back to class despite exhibiting signs consistent with a panic attack, The (Anderson, Ind.) Herald-Bulletin reported Wednesday.

School district officials eventually suspended the student deemed responsible for the fliers.

After a three-day jury trial in Madison County Circuit Court, the district was found guilty of negligence. Steven Smith, the victim's lawyer, said it was vindication for a student who was mistreated not just by a mean-spirited classmate but adults who are supposed to protect children in their care.

"What I hope is that it will help not only the family but help the other students at Pendleton Heights," he said.




Read more: http://www.upi.com/Top_News/US/2013...ing-lawsuit/UPI-86451381945764/#ixzz2jffySyxk

 

[Book of Jeremiah]

http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504083_162-57415871-504083/paralyzed-victim-of-bullys-punch-wins-$4-million-school-settlement/

 

[Gracie]

That mother is the reason her son is a bully.
Dr. Phil is an idiot and he DOES take sides.
Good thing I was not the victims mother. The bullies mother would be picking up her teeth on playback.
I cannot tolerate bullies. And those that are speaking up for bullies here in this thread need to take a gander at themselves. One here seems to hide while bullying...until I post their disgusting comments in negs I give it. Then it isn't so hidden, is it?

Bah. I have no patience for hypocrits. Nor bullies. Those who do deride and say filth about something they know nothing about are pond scum.

So..in short....PFFFFFFFFFFFFFT on "Dr." Phil....who sucks.

 

[Book of Jeremiah]

Paralyzed victim of bully's punch wins $4 million school settlement | wtsp.com

Maybe this link will work. The other didn't post correctly for some reason. Anyhow this kid is now paralyzed because of a bully. He won a 4 million dollar settlement in the case. The school decided to settle. No surprise there. The bully was also sued and they settled for an amount that is said to be confidential. So this case proves you can sue the school district and the bully and win. Good for the Rothstein family. Four million won't give their son back his use of his legs but at least his dignity has been restored and the right one - the bully, Mr. Youngman - has lost his!

 

[Book of Jeremiah]

That mother is the reason her son is a bully.
Dr. Phil is an idiot and he DOES take sides.
Good thing I was not the victims mother. The bullies mother would be picking up her teeth on playback.
I cannot tolerate bullies. And those that are speaking up for bullies here in this thread need to take a gander at themselves. One here seems to hide while bullying...until I post their disgusting comments in negs I give it. Then it isn't so hidden, is it?

Bah. I have no patience for hypocrits. Nor bullies. Those who do deride and say filth about something they know nothing about are pond scum.

So..in short....PFFFFFFFFFFFFFT on "Dr." Phil....who sucks.

You nailed it, Gracie. She is precisely the reason her son is a bully. She is STILL excusing his behavior and Dr. Phil excused their behavior as well! I could not believe it! But he did! Right there in living color! At the end when the producers were told to rewind the tape and show what the bullys mother did to the victims mother? Did you hear that gasp from the audience? That was their moment of realization as to what was going on. The bullys mother was so convincing to those who could not see her face? They didn't see the depth of that womans demonic behavior until the replay on vid revealed it. Pure evil.

The mother of the victim is in such a state of pain - it is all over her face, she can no longer hide it and now she is so beaten down that Dr. Phil is forcing her to admit a lie... that the parents apologised -and she agrees with him, when it is quite clear they never did. That is something else that happens with bullies... they create such confusion they will even suggest that "they" are the ones who have suffered for being misunderstood. The nerve, right?

Apologies for something of that magnitude include tears, restitution for damages done, a what can I do to let you know how deeply sorry we are? A true act of contrition on the part of the parents would have went something like this: We know in our hearts that our son was very cruelly tormenting your daughter because we know when our son is lying. After all, that is our son. We should have done something earlier and we didn't. This is our fault totally. We know we can never erase the pain of what was done but we'd like to take our sons college education money of 100,000 plus and give it to you and your family to use however you'd like. We have told our son that if he does not make a full confession of what he has done and a public apology and retraction on facebook and whatever other sites he did this on - he will have to get out of our house. We won't enable a criminal. ( the kid is college age now ) Something along those lines would allow the girl and her mother to begin to have some semblence of healing and closure. As it stands Dr. Phil accomplished nothing but insult added to injury. I give him an "F". ( for failure )

 

[Book of Jeremiah]

Behaviour of the serial bully: attention seeker, wannabe, guru and sociopath including industrial psychopath, corporate psychopath and workplace psychopathThe Attention-Seeker

Motivation: to be the centre of attention
Mindset: control freak, manipulation, narcissism
Malice: medium to high; when held accountable, very high

emotionally immature
selectively friendly - is sickly sweet to some people, rude and offhand to others, and ignores the rest
is cold and aggressive towards anyone who sees them for what they really are or exposes their strategies for gaining attention
overfriendly with their new target, especially in the initial stages of a new working relationship
overhelpful, ditto
overgenerous, ditto
manipulative of people's perceptions, but in an amateur and childish manner
manipulative with guilt, ditto
sycophantic, fawning, toadying
uses flattery to keep a person in authority on side
everything is a drama, usually a poor-me drama
prefers not to solve problems in own life so that they can be used and re-used for gaining sympathy and attention
capitalises on issues and uses them as a soapbox for gaining attention
exploits others' suffering and grief as a vehicle for gaining attention
misappropriates others' statements, eg anything which can be misconstrued as politically incorrect, for control and attention-seeking
excusitis, makes excuses for everything
shows a lot of indignation, especially when challenged
lots of self-pity
often as miserable as sin, apart from carefully constructed moments of charm when in the act of deceiving
demanding of others
easily provoked
feigns victimhood when held accountable, usually by bursting into tears or claiming they're the one being bullied and harassed
presents as a false victim when outwitted
may feign exclusion, isolation or persecution
malicious
constantly tries and will do almost anything to be in the spotlight
includes Munchausen Syndrome
the focus of their life is to be the centre of attention


Recognize anyone by this list?

 

[Book of Jeremiah]

How about this one? ( partial list ) see the link for the full story ...



The Socialised Psychopath or Sociopath

Also known as the corporate psychopath, workplace psychopath, industrial psychopath and administrative psychopath.

Motivation: power, gratification, personal gain, survival
Mindset: manipulation, deception, evil
Malice: high to very high; when held accountable, off the scale

Jekyll & Hyde personality

always charming and beguilingly plausible, especially to those who are capable of protecting or enhancing the sociopath's position

excels at deception (this must never be underestimated, but always is)

excels at evasion of accountability

is extremely and successfully manipulative of people's perceptions and emotions (eg guilt and anger)

silver-tongued, has an extreme verbal facility and can outwit anybody (including a top barrister) in verbal conflict

will often engineer himself or herself into a position of authority as gatekeeper of the organisation and thus the person through whom all information must flow, and the person to whom all requests for services must be referred - which he or she then takes delight in denying
is adept at offering weak and inadequate people the positions of power, control, security, influence or respect that they crave but who lack the necessary competencies to achieve - such people are unaware that their consequent dependence on the sociopath makes them permanent manipulatees, pawns and expendable agents of harassment

identifies those essential to the sociopath's survival and manipulates their perceptions them by making them feel special and thus obligated to reciprocate with support and protection

manipulates others into making fools of themselves in situations where they cannot back down or from which they cannot withdraw - these people become increasingly susceptible to further manipulation and are then trapped as pawns in the sociopath's game

is likely to be surrounded by people who, having been subjected to control, manipulation and punishment by the sociopath, look wretched and who start to exhibit behaviour best described as disordered, dysfunctional, sullen, aggressive, defensive, hostile, retaliatory, counterproductive or cult-like and for whom disbelief, disavowal and denial are instinctive responses

creates an environment where levels of denial are so great that those involved are oblivious of the foolishness and self-evident absurdity of their denials when presented with the facts, with the result that non-involved observers are led to question whether such levels of denial merit psychiatric intervention

is contemptuous of disrepute to their organisation and of collateral damage and of the destructive consequences for all direct and indirect parties
is always surrounded by and leaves behind a trail of dysfunctional organisations, destroyed businesses, ruined careers, stress breakdowns and unexplained suicides

despite a trail of devastation to individuals, organisations, families and communities, the actions of a socialised psychopath may go undetected or unrecognised for years

a history of conducting frivolous, vexatious and malicious legal actions, especially (but not exclusively) against anyone who can recognise the sociopath for what he is

only after the sociopath is exposed and relieved of position, or they move on, can the full depth of their destructive behaviour be fathomed and the consequences calculated

is skilled at identifying, undermining, discrediting, neutralising and destroying anyone who can see through the sociopath's mask of sanity
at all times restricts the actions and rights of others (especially those holding the sociopath accountable) whilst aggressively protecting his or her right to do anything without being hampered by social norms or legal requirements

pursues endless vindictive vendettas against anyone perceived as a threat or who attempts, knowingly or unknowingly, to identify or reveal or expose the sociopath, or who makes efforts to hold the sociopath accountable

is adept at appropriating rules, regulations, procedures and law to manipulate, control and punish........

this is a short partial description - go to the link and click sociopath in the title to see the full story..

http://bullyonline.org/workbully/serial.htm#Sociopath <---------------Look at headline and you can click the wannabe, the sociopath,etc. they are all links into the minds of these bullies and how they operate... very informative because as one skilled warrior once warned, "Know thy Enemy"....

 

[Book of Jeremiah]

I love that last one about appropriating rules, regulations, procedures and law to manipulate, control and punish because that is precisely what the mother of the bully uses against the victims mother in the Dr. Phil video. It is only when the woman has time to think that she corrects the bullys mother and says hey! Wait a minute! I am not the one who gave your sons name on facebook! He did that himself! Oh yeah! The bully always loves to make it look as if "you" are the one that has created their problems. It would never dawn on them to have a look in the mirror. Incredible.

 

[lakeview]

Behaviour of the serial bully: attention seeker, wannabe, guru and sociopath including industrial psychopath, corporate psychopath and workplace psychopathThe Attention-Seeker

Motivation: to be the centre of attention
Mindset: control freak, manipulation, narcissism
Malice: medium to high; when held accountable, very high

emotionally immature
selectively friendly - is sickly sweet to some people, rude and offhand to others, and ignores the rest
is cold and aggressive towards anyone who sees them for what they really are or exposes their strategies for gaining attention
overfriendly with their new target, especially in the initial stages of a new working relationship
overhelpful, ditto
overgenerous, ditto
manipulative of people's perceptions, but in an amateur and childish manner
manipulative with guilt, ditto
sycophantic, fawning, toadying
uses flattery to keep a person in authority on side
everything is a drama, usually a poor-me drama
prefers not to solve problems in own life so that they can be used and re-used for gaining sympathy and attention
capitalises on issues and uses them as a soapbox for gaining attention
exploits others' suffering and grief as a vehicle for gaining attention
misappropriates others' statements, eg anything which can be misconstrued as politically incorrect, for control and attention-seeking
excusitis, makes excuses for everything
shows a lot of indignation, especially when challenged
lots of self-pity
often as miserable as sin, apart from carefully constructed moments of charm when in the act of deceiving
demanding of others
easily provoked
feigns victimhood when held accountable, usually by bursting into tears or claiming they're the one being bullied and harassed
presents as a false victim when outwitted
may feign exclusion, isolation or persecution
malicious
constantly tries and will do almost anything to be in the spotlight
includes Munchausen Syndrome
the focus of their life is to be the centre of attention


Recognize anyone by this list?

Yes, every cubicle dweller I've ever had to work with.

 

[Book of Jeremiah]

For the record? Goliath was a sociopath. His intimidation of Israel was so great that they were in a state of hopelessness, depressed, in despair ........until one young shepherd boy who knew who his God was, who the God of Israel was, stepped up and said, Oh no you don't! Your time is up, Goliath! Yes, when God steps into the fray it is a game changer. Totally. It is time for some folks to face down their Goliaths and send that spirit of intimidation and fear back to hell where it belongs. - Jeri

 

[Book of Jeremiah]

You have my sympathy, Lakeview. I do not believe anyone has to put up with that though. I would have prayed them out of there.

- Jeri

 

[lakeview]

They don't bother me as much as they apparently bother you. My father taught me how to deal with bullies.

 

[Book of Jeremiah]

Well, it is time for me to spend some time with the Lord now so I'll see you guys later! Have an awesome morning! See you later! ( God williing )

- Jeri

 

[Book of Jeremiah]

They don't bother me as much as they apparently bother you. My father taught me how to deal with bullies.

So did mine!
I hand them over to Him!

2 Thess. 1:6

Have a nice morning, Lakeview! - Jeri