Dear Liberals: I Want a Divorce!

[Mr. Peepers]

Why would we not be able to trade food and meat products, and goods between each other?

Why would you want anything grown in conservative land? I wouldn't trust its safety nor nutritional content.

 

[The T]

Right, I ask specifics, am told they're not there, and somehow I'm the one that did it wrong.

Tell me again about this "conventional wisdom"...

Who told you that? YOU didn't READ the OP did you? *NO*

Post 252:

According to the 19 part deal minus the P.S.'s?

NOT mentioned.

Apparently you're so far out of the box you can't remember anything.

You STILL didn't read it did you?

 

[Foxfyre]

(Disclaimer: This is an adaptation of a divorce agreement that has been circulating around the internet for awhile.)

To All My Dearest Beloved Liberal, Leftist, Social Progressive, Regressive, Marxist, and Liberation Theologist Friends:

Since we are not going to get gasoline back to $1.50 per gallon and coffee to $2.00 per pound, it is time to divide up our common property and split the sheets so to speak. To wit I propose the following:

DIVORCE AGREEMENT​

WHEREAS, we have stuck together since the late 1950s for the sake of the kids and for sake of future generations, but the whole of this latest election process has revealed that our relationship has clearly run its course, and

WHEREAS, our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all,

THEREFORE let's end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is the suggested model separation agreement:

1. Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by land mass apportioned according to numerical representation. You can have California, Oregon, and Washington State. We'll take all the rest.

2. We don't like redistributive taxes, so you can keep them.

3. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.

4. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA, and the military.

5. We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and you can go with all the wind, solar, and bio-diesel.

6. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore, and Rosie O'Donnell. You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them.

7. We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart, and Wall Street.

8. You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless homeboys, hippies, druggies, illegal aliens, unions, peaceniks, war protesters, and the OSW groups.

9. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks.

10. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood

11. You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us or hit back when we are threatened or attacked.

14. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness, and Shirley McLain. You can also have the U.N., but we will no longer be paying the bill.

13. We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.

14. We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks, and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Chevy Volt you can find.

15. You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any doctors to deliver it. We'll continue to believe that healthcare is more affordable and more excellent in a free market system.

16. We'll keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic", "God Bless America", and "The National Anthem."

17. You get "Imagine", "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing", "Kum Ba Ya," or "We Are the World".

18. We'll practice trickledown economics and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot.

19. Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our constitution and our flag.

Please sign and pass it on if you will agree to this equitable distribution of property, values, and practices.

In the spirit of friendly parting, we will arrange for a community picnic in about 10 years to compare notes and see how each other are doing.

Sincerely,

Your Conservative Friends


P.S.: Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Sheen, Barbara Streisand, Alec Baldwin, and Jane Fonda with you.

P.S.S..: And you won't have to "Press 1 for English" when you call our country.

Sounds good to me. You keep the Supreme Court and agree to allow us to return to you all of the sons and daughters from the fly over states who have run to California to escape the bigotry of their family and neighbors. We will also require a bond to cover the cost of all of those east of the Sierra's who sneak into our civilized region for medical treatments denied to them based on whatever excuse the Medical-Pharmaceutical complex has decided is cost-beneficial to them and their stockholders. All produce produced in the United States of the Pacific Coast (USPC) and exported to the remaining states will not be inspected and will be delivered "As Is"

Finally the ports of California, Oregon and Washington will be closed to all imports from Asia for redistriubtion to the eastern bloc, and by this agreement the State of Hawaii will be invited to join our United Confederation; you may have Puerto Rico**.

** Likely the Puerto Rico residents will reject joining your coalition leading to the Romney Administrations invasion, occupation and development of relearning camps for those who refuse to learn English and/or speak Spanish which will be outlawed by Presidential Decree.

Oh, look everybody, an elitest west coaster who thinks the world revolves around the land of fruits and nuts. You do realize that there is a lot of medical research and world class medical care between the two coasts don't you? You do realize that the midwest is called America's bread basket for a reason don't you? You do realize that there are other ports other than on the left coast don't you? Geez!

No, no, no. Wry is actually doing the exercise. We need to encourage that and not criticize or excoriate him for it. Kudos Wry. This is not supposed to be an insult fest but a way to work out who gets what in the divorce settlement.

 

[Uncensored2008]

Why would we not be able to trade food and meat products, and goods between each other?

Because what would you do with the welfare vouchers the leftist states traded in return for the food and meat?

Paper your walls?

 

[Foxfyre]

Why would we not be able to trade food and meat products, and goods between each other?

Why would you want anything grown in conservative land? I wouldn't trust its safety nor nutritional content.

Then be glad that you won't be inhabiting Conservative Land. You will have your own Liberal Land to grow things however you want them grown and if conservatives do it all wrong, well they always have, haven't they? At least they won't be able to inflict their wrongness on you. See how it works? You get what you want? And you don't have to be plagued with anybody who wants something different.

 

[occupied]

Mr. T and I don't disagree on a lot of things but in this case, I think even in a perfectly constructed conservative environment we will have some poor. But I think those holding conservative views are far more likely to prepare themselves for success and see that as within their own choices to accomplish which will keep the poor to a manageable level. As there will be little or no federal government assistance, there will be far more disposable income to fund the charities who will take care of any poor that families cannot. And Conservatives being the more generous of people will fund their charities.

So again don't worry. You will have free rein to enlarge government and eliminate all the poor in Liberal Land, and I will give you my word that we will take care of any who need help on our side so it will be no concern of yours.

Quit talking as if you would have a bit of power in a conservative America.

You know what, Occupied, I hold out hope even for you that you will 1) develop a sense of humor and 2) develop some imagination and 3) eventually get some education to understand what modern American conservatism is all about.

You are obsessed with what you see as our country and are unable to see the blessings I'm offering you in having your own country the way you want it. Were you so deprived as a child that you lack even the imagination to consider what your country might be?

The whole purpose of the divorce is so that you won't have to deal with all the sins you see in conservatism. You won't have to see it, hear about it, tolerate it, or fight against it. I am offering you the Utopia you seem to want and all you can do is make snotty remarks about our side.

Or is that what you live for? Is that all you have? Making snotty remarks about our side? Geez. Which country will you choose?

I choose the United States of America, as is, 50 states, no official ideological barriers, with the people mixed together exchanging ideas. Single party states are always dangerous to freedom. I am asking you to explain yourself here, do you think this would be a good idea or are you jerking off?

I can't get my own mind to even jump to any scenario where the union has been peaceably and amicably broken. Secession will never be allowed to happen again under any circumstances even if it means another civil war and even if it were to be attempted it would be some jackass red state like Texas trying to leave not California. The whole concept is so logically flawed that it irritates me. Come up with a scenario that does not offend common sense and maybe I'll play, perhaps colonizing a liberal planet and a conservative planet?

 

[The T]

Why would we not be able to trade food and meat products, and goods between each other?

Why would you want anything grown in conservative land? I wouldn't trust its safety nor nutritional content.

Then be glad that you won't be inhabiting Conservative Land. You will have your own Liberal Land to grow things however you want them grown and if conservatives do it all wrong, well they always have, haven't they? At least they won't be able to inflict their wrongness on you. See how it works? You get what you want? And you don't have to be plagued with anybody who wants something different.

And he won't have anyone to argue with except in abstentia.

 

[bobcollum]

Who told you that? YOU didn't READ the OP did you? *NO*

Post 252:

According to the 19 part deal minus the P.S.'s?

NOT mentioned.

Apparently you're so far out of the box you can't remember anything.

You STILL didn't read it did you?

I've skimmed through it several times now.

At least you didn't argue that I did ask a specific question and was told it wasn't mentioned.

That's a start.

 

[Foxfyre]

Why would we not be able to trade food and meat products, and goods between each other?

Because what would you do with the welfare vouchers the leftist states traded in return for the food and meat?

Paper your walls?

Peach is asking a reasonable question though. We would need to decide whether we would want trade agreements between the two countries. So long as neither country imposed their own rules on the other, I don't see that as being a problem, but it should be made clear in the agreement that neither country HAS to trade with the other either.

 

[jgarden]

Red States Feed at Federal Trough, Blue States Supply the Feed
Monday, September 27, 2004

Here are the Top 10 states that feed at the federal trough.
Spending Per Dollar of Federal Taxes Paid:

1. D.C. ($6.17)
2. North Dakota ($2.03)
3. New Mexico ($1.89)
4. Mississippi ($1.84)
5. Alaska ($1.82)
6. West Virginia ($1.74)
7. Montana ($1.64)
8. Alabama ($1.61)
9. South Dakota ($1.59)
10. Arkansas ($1.53)

States Receiving Least in Federal Spending Per Dollar of Federal Taxes Paid:

1. New Jersey ($0.62)
2. Connecticut ($0.64)
3. New Hampshire ($0.68)
4. Nevada ($0.73)
5. Illinois ($0.77)
6. Minnesota ($0.77)
7. Colorado ($0.79)
8. Massachusetts ($0.79)
9. California ($0.81)
10. New York ($0.81)

TaxProf Blog: Red States Feed at Federal Trough, Blue States Supply the Feed

Strange that our conservative "friends" are opposed to the "redistribution" of wealth given that every traditionally "red" state, except Texas, has been the net benefaciary of federal government spending.

It should be noted that not one of these "red" states has ever refused to accept those federal funds that exceeded the amount that state has contributed - as a matter of principle!

Another one that can't think out of the BOX.

If there is a "BOX" its one of the "red" states own creation - just how do the following states intend to bankroll their "high minded" conservative principles given the high degree to which they have become financially dependent on the annual federal transfer of payments (redistribution of the wealth) - 2. North Dakota ($2.03), 4. Mississippi ($1.84), 5. Alaska ($1.82), 6. West Virginia ($1.74), 7. Montana ($1.64), 8. Alabama ($1.61), 9. South Dakota ($1.59) and 10. Arkansas ($1.53)?

Conversely, 1. New Jersey ($0.62), 2. Connecticut ($0.64), 3. New Hampshire ($0.68), 4. Nevada ($0.73), 5. Illinois ($0.77), 6. Minnesota ($0.77), 7. Colorado ($0.79), 8. Massachusetts ($0.79), 9. California ($0.81) and 10. New York ($0.81) would be much farther ahead financially if and when their conservative "neighbors" decide to leave the premises!

 

[The T]

Post 252:



Apparently you're so far out of the box you can't remember anything.

You STILL didn't read it did you?

I've skimmed through it several times now.

At least you didn't argue that I did ask a specific question and was told it wasn't mentioned.

That's a start.

I saw it and YOU balked.

Next.

 

[bobcollum]

Why would we not be able to trade food and meat products, and goods between each other?

Because what would you do with the welfare vouchers the leftist states traded in return for the food and meat?

Paper your walls?

Peach is asking a reasonable question though. We would need to decide whether we would want trade agreements between the two countries. So long as neither country imposed their own rules on the other, I don't see that as being a problem, but it should be made clear in the agreement that neither country HAS to trade with the other either.

Forgive him, the partisan-force has so ravaged him over the years.

 

[The T]

Strange that our conservative "friends" are opposed to the "redistribution" of wealth given that every traditionally "red" state, except Texas, has been the net benefaciary of federal government spending.

It should be noted that not one of these "red" states has ever refused to accept those federal funds that exceeded the amount that state has contributed - as a matter of principle!

Another one that can't think out of the BOX.

If there is a "BOX" its one of the "red" states own creation - how will the following states be able to support their "high minded" principles unless they were willing to apply for foreign aid from the "blue" states - 2. North Dakota ($2.03), 4. Mississippi ($1.84), 5. Alaska ($1.82), 6. West Virginia ($1.74), 7. Montana ($1.64), 8. Alabama ($1.61), 9. South Dakota ($1.59) and 10. Arkansas ($1.53)?

Conversely, 1. New Jersey ($0.62), 2. Connecticut ($0.64), 3. New Hampshire ($0.68), 4. Nevada ($0.73), 5. Illinois ($0.77), 6. Minnesota ($0.77), 7. Colorado ($0.79), 8. Massachusetts ($0.79), 9. California ($0.81) and 10. New York ($0.81) would be much farther ahead financially if and when their conservative "neighbors" decide to leave!

Son? YOU just don't get the OP...SAVE yourself from embarrassment right now and leave the thread.

 

[bobcollum]

You STILL didn't read it did you?

I've skimmed through it several times now.

At least you didn't argue that I did ask a specific question and was told it wasn't mentioned.

That's a start.

I saw it and YOU balked.

Next.

This is about what I expected.

 

[Too Tall]

Every time I see something like this I wonder how conservatives think they can stay free in a country of their own design where those in the ruling class are unencumbered by taxation, regulation and accountability and the freely exploited working class is on its own and works for practically nothing. No social mobility, no access to medical care, crappy bible based education and no way on earth to get a fair hearing of grievances.

It would be interesting to know what country you are writing about because none of that applies to the country that I live in.

 

[bobcollum]

Another one that can't think out of the BOX.

If there is a "BOX" its one of the "red" states own creation - how will the following states be able to support their "high minded" principles unless they were willing to apply for foreign aid from the "blue" states - 2. North Dakota ($2.03), 4. Mississippi ($1.84), 5. Alaska ($1.82), 6. West Virginia ($1.74), 7. Montana ($1.64), 8. Alabama ($1.61), 9. South Dakota ($1.59) and 10. Arkansas ($1.53)?

Conversely, 1. New Jersey ($0.62), 2. Connecticut ($0.64), 3. New Hampshire ($0.68), 4. Nevada ($0.73), 5. Illinois ($0.77), 6. Minnesota ($0.77), 7. Colorado ($0.79), 8. Massachusetts ($0.79), 9. California ($0.81) and 10. New York ($0.81) would be much farther ahead financially if and when their conservative "neighbors" decide to leave!

Son? YOU just don't get the OP...SAVE yourself from embarrassment right now and leave the thread.

The OP is absurd, that's what you don't get.

But keep taking the Right-Wing chain letters seriously.

 

[occupied]

Every time I see something like this I wonder how conservatives think they can stay free in a country of their own design where those in the ruling class are unencumbered by taxation, regulation and accountability and the freely exploited working class is on its own and works for practically nothing. No social mobility, no access to medical care, crappy bible based education and no way on earth to get a fair hearing of grievances.

It would be interesting to know what country you are writing about because none of that applies to the country that I live in.

It's what you would get in a country devoid of liberal thought or policy.

 

[Uncensored2008]

It does come from upstate NY. And the breadbasket of our nation grows corn to make HFCS and wheat and soy for "food-like products". You can keep it.

They grow all the dope you obviously smoke in upstate as well?

What did you have for breakfast?

Lunch?

Dinner last night?

 

[Uncensored2008]

You folks are great.

Ah, more "specifics."

 

[bayoubill]

(Disclaimer: This is an adaptation of a divorce agreement that has been circulating around the internet for awhile.)

To All My Dearest Beloved Liberal, Leftist, Social Progressive, Regressive, Marxist, and Liberation Theologist Friends:

Since we are not going to get gasoline back to $1.50 per gallon and coffee to $2.00 per pound, it is time to divide up our common property and split the sheets so to speak. To wit I propose the following:

DIVORCE AGREEMENT​

WHEREAS, we have stuck together since the late 1950s for the sake of the kids and for sake of future generations, but the whole of this latest election process has revealed that our relationship has clearly run its course, and

WHEREAS, our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all,

THEREFORE let's end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is the suggested model separation agreement:

1. Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by land mass apportioned according to numerical representation. You can have California, Oregon, and Washington State. We'll take all the rest.

2. We don't like redistributive taxes, so you can keep them.

3. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.

4. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA, and the military.

5. We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and you can go with all the wind, solar, and bio-diesel.

6. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore, and Rosie O'Donnell. You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them.

7. We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart, and Wall Street.

8. You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless homeboys, hippies, druggies, illegal aliens, unions, peaceniks, war protesters, and the OSW groups.

9. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks.

10. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood

11. You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us or hit back when we are threatened or attacked.

14. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness, and Shirley McLain. You can also have the U.N., but we will no longer be paying the bill.

13. We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.

14. We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks, and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Chevy Volt you can find.

15. You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any doctors to deliver it. We'll continue to believe that healthcare is more affordable and more excellent in a free market system.

16. We'll keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic", "God Bless America", and "The National Anthem."

17. You get "Imagine", "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing", "Kum Ba Ya," or "We Are the World".

18. We'll practice trickledown economics and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot.

19. Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our constitution and our flag.

Please sign and pass it on if you will agree to this equitable distribution of property, values, and practices.

In the spirit of friendly parting, we will arrange for a community picnic in about 10 years to compare notes and see how each other are doing.

Sincerely,

Your Conservative Friends


P.S.: Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Sheen, Barbara Streisand, Alec Baldwin, and Jane Fonda with you.

P.S.S..: And you won't have to "Press 1 for English" when you call our country.

the second-stupidest post I've read today...

(btw, the first prize for stupidest post once again goes to Truthmatters...)