Father's Day Rant

[Disir]

How sad.

I watched an 84 year old man and 75 year old man go through Father's Day with no call from their children. No plans made for one and plans cancelled for another. They were crushed. Even though one is much loved by my son and we tried to make it up to him, I don't think that was enough. We got him golf clubs and a card.

Then I turned around and called my Dad and made plans to go canoeing down the Illinois River.

 

[Moonglow]

How sad.

I watched an 84 year old man and 75 year old man go through Father's Day with no call from their children. No plans made for one and plans cancelled for another. They were crushed. Even though one is much loved by my son and we tried to make it up to him, I don't think that was enough. We got him golf clubs and a card.

Then I turned around and called my Dad and made plans to go canoeing down the Illinois River.

I didn't know you lived in Okiehoma...

 

[Disir]

How sad.

I watched an 84 year old man and 75 year old man go through Father's Day with no call from their children. No plans made for one and plans cancelled for another. They were crushed. Even though one is much loved by my son and we tried to make it up to him, I don't think that was enough. We got him golf clubs and a card.

Then I turned around and called my Dad and made plans to go canoeing down the Illinois River.

I didn't know you lived in Okiehoma...

I don't. I used to live in Lawton/Fort Sill. He lives in Texas currently but I am taking a road trip in a few weeks to see some other family and we are going to meet out there.That's why I had to make plans.

 

[Moonglow]

How sad.

I watched an 84 year old man and 75 year old man go through Father's Day with no call from their children. No plans made for one and plans cancelled for another. They were crushed. Even though one is much loved by my son and we tried to make it up to him, I don't think that was enough. We got him golf clubs and a card.

Then I turned around and called my Dad and made plans to go canoeing down the Illinois River.

I didn't know you lived in Okiehoma...

I don't. I used to live in Lawton/Fort Sill. He lives in Texas currently but I am taking a road trip in a few weeks to see some other family and we are going to meet out there.That's why I had to make plans.

Poor thang,Lawton/Ft. Still, , was you associated with artillery?

 

[Disir]

How sad.

I watched an 84 year old man and 75 year old man go through Father's Day with no call from their children. No plans made for one and plans cancelled for another. They were crushed. Even though one is much loved by my son and we tried to make it up to him, I don't think that was enough. We got him golf clubs and a card.

Then I turned around and called my Dad and made plans to go canoeing down the Illinois River.

I didn't know you lived in Okiehoma...

I don't. I used to live in Lawton/Fort Sill. He lives in Texas currently but I am taking a road trip in a few weeks to see some other family and we are going to meet out there.That's why I had to make plans.

Poor thang,Lawton/Ft. Still, , was you associated with artillery?

Army brat.

 

[Moonglow]

How sad.

I watched an 84 year old man and 75 year old man go through Father's Day with no call from their children. No plans made for one and plans cancelled for another. They were crushed. Even though one is much loved by my son and we tried to make it up to him, I don't think that was enough. We got him golf clubs and a card.

Then I turned around and called my Dad and made plans to go canoeing down the Illinois River.

I didn't know you lived in Okiehoma...

I don't. I used to live in Lawton/Fort Sill. He lives in Texas currently but I am taking a road trip in a few weeks to see some other family and we are going to meet out there.That's why I had to make plans.

Poor thang,Lawton/Ft. Still, , was you associated with artillery?

Army brat.

Me too, I was in OKC for 24 years, my dad was a lifer along with civil service after military service...I was in the Nasty Guard in Norman, Ok...The Illinois was our families annual gathering for a family reunion and canoeing, until they banned water sports because of the runoff of chicken houses into the Illinois..They are still in litigation over it, but water sports did resume in the 1990's.

 

[Disir]

How sad.

I watched an 84 year old man and 75 year old man go through Father's Day with no call from their children. No plans made for one and plans cancelled for another. They were crushed. Even though one is much loved by my son and we tried to make it up to him, I don't think that was enough. We got him golf clubs and a card.

Then I turned around and called my Dad and made plans to go canoeing down the Illinois River.

I didn't know you lived in Okiehoma...

I don't. I used to live in Lawton/Fort Sill. He lives in Texas currently but I am taking a road trip in a few weeks to see some other family and we are going to meet out there.That's why I had to make plans.

Poor thang,Lawton/Ft. Still, , was you associated with artillery?

Army brat.

Me too, I was in OKC for 24 yearsr, my dad was a lifer along with civil service after military service...I was in the Nasty Guard in Norman, Ok...

In the Nasty Guard...lol.
Do you miss Oklahoma?

 

[MarathonMike]

I'm a Father that isn't a big fan of Father's day. I feel fortunate to have two great sons but it just seems dumb to have a designated day to appreciate your Dad. Like Delta4 said why not have a Son's and Daughter's day? That seems equally valid.

 

[MarathonMike]

I don't mean to trivialize the personal stories in this thread by any means. I know there is a lot a pain that has been caused by Fathers who left or were abusive.

 

[Moonglow]

I didn't know you lived in Okiehoma...

I don't. I used to live in Lawton/Fort Sill. He lives in Texas currently but I am taking a road trip in a few weeks to see some other family and we are going to meet out there.That's why I had to make plans.

Poor thang,Lawton/Ft. Still, , was you associated with artillery?

Army brat.

Me too, I was in OKC for 24 yearsr, my dad was a lifer along with civil service after military service...I was in the Nasty Guard in Norman, Ok...

In the Nasty Guard...lol.
Do you miss Oklahoma?

Hell no...

 

[AntiParty]

I pretty much dread Father's day... this is not a whiny post, just a statement of fact:

My dad left when I was 5 and never showed much interest. My siblings adore him (he's dead now, has been for 5 years) and talk about him like he was the "be all end all" which annoys me, because he wasn't.

But, I'm sure there are lots of good loving fathers out there, and I wish them all the best.

I hope you have a father you can appreciate today.

Our Fathers grew up in a different time with different information. Some of our fathers thought hitting us was a way to hit the evil out of a child. Some fathers simply gave up on the chore of being a father. "It's a choice for fathers" which is true until child support.

The transition from being "Hunter/Gather" fathers into being at home Fathers is not easy for some. For others, it's natural



The "Alpha Male" is not as much like the Dinosaur definition today. Today's Alpha Male doesn't need to hunter/gather. Today's Alpha male doesn't need to protect the family generally speaking. Today's alpha male is the smart one that ensures protection before the necessary danger. So we don't need a big Rhino tusk if we just think about situations.

 

[AntiParty]

How sad.

I watched an 84 year old man and 75 year old man go through Father's Day with no call from their children. No plans made for one and plans cancelled for another. They were crushed. Even though one is much loved by my son and we tried to make it up to him, I don't think that was enough. We got him golf clubs and a card.

Then I turned around and called my Dad and made plans to go canoeing down the Illinois River.

Children who were raised well love their parents.

 

[AntiParty]

How sad.

I watched an 84 year old man and 75 year old man go through Father's Day with no call from their children. No plans made for one and plans cancelled for another. They were crushed. Even though one is much loved by my son and we tried to make it up to him, I don't think that was enough. We got him golf clubs and a card.

Then I turned around and called my Dad and made plans to go canoeing down the Illinois River.

I didn't know you lived in Okiehoma...

I don't. I used to live in Lawton/Fort Sill. He lives in Texas currently but I am taking a road trip in a few weeks to see some other family and we are going to meet out there.That's why I had to make plans.

I don't want to say Texas rots the brain but......

 

[FA_Q2]

I'm a Father that isn't a big fan of Father's day. I feel fortunate to have two great sons but it just seems dumb to have a designated day to appreciate your Dad. Like Delta4 said why not have a Son's and Daughter's day? That seems equally valid.

Meh – we don’t need a sons or daughters day – they had every day for decades where they are the center of a parents universe (as it should be)
Father’s day is really for the kids anyway – it is a day for the kid to draw a terrible picture that you are going to love and tell him how wonderful it is. Really, virtually everything is really for the kids.

 

[FA_Q2]

"Couldn't have been there?"

I am pretty sure that means the parting was voluntary - that certainly does not mean that 'he loved' him.

There is no excuse, ever, for a parent to leave a child - period. I can understand why this time would upset him. My mother left me when I was a teenager and that is not a good feeling. I am lucky – it was not as permanent or as trying as bonzi’s case but there will never be a true parent/child relationship there again. The only reason that she even knows I still exist is because I will not let her shitty decisions and lack of any caring for me take away my children’s grandmother (as long as she does not try that shit again).

Does she know you feel this way?

I have told her in a manner of speaking. She wants a relationship now, after it is far to late but she is offered the chance to have that relationship with her grand kids.

Well it's easier with Grandkids.. they are not ultimately your(her) responsibility...

Sure, and she only has to deal with them once or twice a year.

She wants me to take care of her now though and that simply is not going to happen. Never met someone more self centered than my mother is and she puts my wife through hell. I have no idea how she cannot see the shit she puts others through.

What were her parents like? I have a very self-centered family as well. Normally, people like that come from very troubled backgrounds / upbringings...

Don’t really know. Not many actual surviving family members on that side of the family by the time I was 10 and I was never all that close to my grandmother on that side. Might be the root of that – my mother’s grandma never truly seemed interested in spending time with us either.
It is a HUGE difference from my father’s side where we lived within a few blocks of both uncles and grandparents for most of my life. I used to walk to grandpa’s house after school sometimes before we even went home – we were all really close.

 

[JOSweetHeart]

I don't mean to trivialize the personal stories in this thread by any means. I know there is a lot a pain that has been caused by Fathers who left or were abusive.

I don't know how everyone else here feels, but you didn't hurt my feelings with what you said. Everyone has a story and no story will be identical to another one. Thank you for suggesting that there be a son and daughter's day.

God bless you always!!!

Holly

 

[Bonzi]

Might be the root of that – my mother’s grandma never truly seemed interested in spending time with us either.

It's no excuse, people can change, but, when you grow up feeling unloved and unwanted, often times it causes you to put up a protective shell to keep everyone out.

It looks like you didn't allow that to happen and took the example from your Father's side of the family.

Also, some people are not meant to have children. But it will help your anger if you just realize your Mom probably had issues very similar to yours, but, wasn't strong enough or didn't know how to overcome them. Doesn't make it right... but we all have our inner demons and battles...

 

[Disir]

I don't. I used to live in Lawton/Fort Sill. He lives in Texas currently but I am taking a road trip in a few weeks to see some other family and we are going to meet out there.That's why I had to make plans.

Poor thang,Lawton/Ft. Still, , was you associated with artillery?

Army brat.

Me too, I was in OKC for 24 yearsr, my dad was a lifer along with civil service after military service...I was in the Nasty Guard in Norman, Ok...

In the Nasty Guard...lol.
Do you miss Oklahoma?

Hell no...

I don't either. This is a must do trip and we are going to like it. We are going to take Route 66 down and then I-44 down, go back up to OKC then to Talequah and then up to Ponca City. Or something like that. Not sure of the order exactly.

This is like a lifetime ago. In fact, I lived in OKC for a good minute. This has been at least 20 years since I have been there. I haven't been to the Illinois River since I was 7 or 8. I tried taking my son tubing down a river after we went hiking a few years ago and it was such a fail that every time I mention river he has this look of sheer panic.

 

[Disir]

I'm a Father that isn't a big fan of Father's day. I feel fortunate to have two great sons but it just seems dumb to have a designated day to appreciate your Dad. Like Delta4 said why not have a Son's and Daughter's day? That seems equally valid.

I am not real fond of days that have been assigned to appreciate anything. But, there sure are a lot of guys out there that do. Or maybe they start out thinking it doesn't matter and then when they don't even get a phone call it's like a gut punch.

 

[Disir]

How sad.

I watched an 84 year old man and 75 year old man go through Father's Day with no call from their children. No plans made for one and plans cancelled for another. They were crushed. Even though one is much loved by my son and we tried to make it up to him, I don't think that was enough. We got him golf clubs and a card.

Then I turned around and called my Dad and made plans to go canoeing down the Illinois River.

I didn't know you lived in Okiehoma...

I don't. I used to live in Lawton/Fort Sill. He lives in Texas currently but I am taking a road trip in a few weeks to see some other family and we are going to meet out there.That's why I had to make plans.

I don't want to say Texas rots the brain but......

It doesn't. There are a lot of good people in Texas but many of them are not politically involved.