The Difference Between Conservatives and Liberals

[mudwhistle]

Oh, this is hilarious.

If a conservative doesn't like guns, he doesn't buy one. He can't, he doesn't have a job. His leadership moved his job to China.

If a liberal doesn't like guns, he wants all guns outlawed. Just kidding. It was Obama that expanded gun laws more than any president in decades. Go ahead, ask for a link, I dare you.

If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn't eat meat. No, he eats everything. That's why they're so fat.

If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone. Only the ones that are diseased. Conservatives don't believe in food safety.

If a conservative is homosexual, he quietly leads his life. Until he gets caught at a nearby men's room. Then his wife and family die of embarrassment.
If a liberal is homosexual, he demands legislated respect. If by equal rights, you're right. Besides, only a fool doesn't want respect and equal rights. Or a conservative whose been brainwashed.

If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation. Yea, like how long he has to stand in line for food stamps and welfare.
A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him while he standing in line waiting to register at the college or university.

If a conservative doesn't like a talk show host, he switches channels, to foreign owned Fox where he trusts their lies.
Liberals demand that those they don't like be shut down until they prove what they print is the truth. Do you know that some Americans are so stupid, so easily misled, they actually believe that the President spent 200 million dollars a day on a visit? I know. It's hard to believe anyone could be so stupid.

If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn't go to church. Just kidding. All conservatives are believers. Some say they aren't, but when asked questions, turns out they really are. And they aren't satisfied until they force their mystical beliefs down the throats of every American. In fact, they insist on only some Americans having full citizens rights. Because their religion says it must be so.
A liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and religion kept out of public schools. Many don't want their children exposed to such nonsense. (Don't forget Muslim!!!) Liberals don't want their children exposed to that nonsense either. Seems Christians and Muslims have the same founder and mostly the same beliefs.

If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes straight to the emergency room, thereby costing the public ten times the amount.
A liberal demands the public option. Too bad conservatives blocked it.

If a conservative reads this, and understands more than one word in four, we will all be amazed.
A liberal will be at work. Because he has a job.

Conservatives find the money to buy a gun....even if they don't have a job.

I don't know how Obama rates when it comes to expansion of gun laws but the day he released his new list I couldn't get any ammo for 3 months online.

Not all Conservatives are fat [Just look at Sarah Palin] and not all Liberals are skinny and healthy [Just look at the cast on The View. The Libs are fat and the Conservative is skinny].

 

[Father Time]

This sums it up pretty well.

If a conservative doesn't like guns, he doesn't buy one.
If a liberal doesn't like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.

If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn't eat meat.
If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.

If a conservative is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.
If a liberal is homosexual, he demands legislated respect.

If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.
A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him.

If a conservative doesn't like a talk show host, he switches channels.
Liberals demand that those they don't like be shut down.

If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn't go to church.
A liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced. (Unless it's a Muslim!!!)

If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it.
A liberal demands that the rest of us pay for his.

If a conservative reads this, he'll forward it so his friends can have a good laugh.
A liberal will cry like a bitch because he is "offended"

First off

Your straw men are just pathetic.

Legislated respect? Silencing all mention of God? If you're going to slam liberals you can take 5 minutes to figure out what they actually believe.

 

[Father Time]

I think this quote of Ann Coulter shows a big difference between liberals and conservatives.

RWN's Favorite Quotes From Ann Coulter's 'How To Talk To A Liberal (If You Must)' - Right Wing News (Conservative News and Views)

"If you can somehow force a liberal into a point-counterpoint argument, his retorts will bear no relation to what you've said -- unless you were in fact talking about your looks, your age, your weight, your personal obsessions, or whether you are a fascist. In the famous liberal two-step, they leap from one idiotic point to the next, so you can never nail them. It's like arguing with someone with Attention Deficit Disorder."

Oh yes let's all take a lesson from a harpy who says horrible things about people to sell books. I'm sure she wouldn't embellish things.

 

[Father Time]

And the "No, YOU!!" chorus continues...

Well hey it's accurate.

Now watch you're going to disagree. If you do I'm right, you're predictable and I get to laugh at you.

 

[skookerasbil]

Listen........just imagine for a moment, a debate between Michael Moore and Rush Limbaugh........on any subject involving public policy. Imagine it was nationally televised in prime time. After that, nobody would ever admit to being a liberal except the fringe k00ks.

 

[Father Time]

Listen........just imagine for a moment, a debate between Michael Moore and Rush Limbaugh........on any subject involving public policy. Imagine it was nationally televised in prime time. After that, nobody would ever admit to being a liberal except the fringe k00ks.

Since when was Micheal Moore not a fringe kook?

 

[skookerasbil]

Listen........just imagine for a moment, a debate between Michael Moore and Rush Limbaugh........on any subject involving public policy. Imagine it was nationally televised in prime time. After that, nobody would ever admit to being a liberal except the fringe k00ks.

Since when was Micheal Moore not a fringe kook?

Well......of course he is, but he promotes himself as a typical liberal that is for the people. His whole gig is nothing but talking points. Cannot answer a question without looking like batshiite loco. The other night he was on Larry King. Said he had the solution for putting people back to work!! What was his idea? To put GM in charge of building a whole new infrastructure system of trains, monorails etc.. Then King asked him, "How would we pay for that?". CNN couldnt cut to commercial fast enough!!!!!!!!!

 

[daveman]

And the "No, YOU!!" chorus continues...

Well hey it's accurate.

Now watch you're going to disagree. If you do I'm right, you're predictable and I get to laugh at you.

You sound like a blonde who, upon hearing a blonde joke, gets mad and bitterly tells the exact same joke, substituting "brunette" for "blonde".

 

[Article 15]

And the "No, YOU!!" chorus continues...

That's what happens when a hypocrite points fingers.

 

[rdean]

Oh, this is hilarious.

If a conservative doesn't like guns, he doesn't buy one. He can't, he doesn't have a job. His leadership moved his job to China.

If a liberal doesn't like guns, he wants all guns outlawed. Just kidding. It was Obama that expanded gun laws more than any president in decades. Go ahead, ask for a link, I dare you.

If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn't eat meat. No, he eats everything. That's why they're so fat.

If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone. Only the ones that are diseased. Conservatives don't believe in food safety.

If a conservative is homosexual, he quietly leads his life. Until he gets caught at a nearby men's room. Then his wife and family die of embarrassment.
If a liberal is homosexual, he demands legislated respect. If by equal rights, you're right. Besides, only a fool doesn't want respect and equal rights. Or a conservative whose been brainwashed.

If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation. Yea, like how long he has to stand in line for food stamps and welfare.
A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him while he standing in line waiting to register at the college or university.

If a conservative doesn't like a talk show host, he switches channels, to foreign owned Fox where he trusts their lies.
Liberals demand that those they don't like be shut down until they prove what they print is the truth. Do you know that some Americans are so stupid, so easily misled, they actually believe that the President spent 200 million dollars a day on a visit? I know. It's hard to believe anyone could be so stupid.

If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn't go to church. Just kidding. All conservatives are believers. Some say they aren't, but when asked questions, turns out they really are. And they aren't satisfied until they force their mystical beliefs down the throats of every American. In fact, they insist on only some Americans having full citizens rights. Because their religion says it must be so.
A liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and religion kept out of public schools. Many don't want their children exposed to such nonsense. (Don't forget Muslim!!!) Liberals don't want their children exposed to that nonsense either. Seems Christians and Muslims have the same founder and mostly the same beliefs.

If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes straight to the emergency room, thereby costing the public ten times the amount.
A liberal demands the public option. Too bad conservatives blocked it.

If a conservative reads this, and understands more than one word in four, we will all be amazed.
A liberal will be at work. Because he has a job.

Conservatives find the money to buy a gun....even if they don't have a job.

I don't know how Obama rates when it comes to expansion of gun laws but the day he released his new list I couldn't get any ammo for 3 months online.

Not all Conservatives are fat [Just look at Sarah Palin] and not all Liberals are skinny and healthy [Just look at the cast on The View. The Libs are fat and the Conservative is skinny].

The "View", the height of conservative intellectualism.

Liz is about 30 years or more younger than her co workers. She better be in better shape. Duh!

 

[Father Time]

And the "No, YOU!!" chorus continues...

Well hey it's accurate.

Now watch you're going to disagree. If you do I'm right, you're predictable and I get to laugh at you.

You sound like a blonde who, upon hearing a blonde joke, gets mad and bitterly tells the exact same joke, substituting "brunette" for "blonde".

 

[daveman]

And the "No, YOU!!" chorus continues...

That's what happens when a hypocrite points fingers.

 

[daveman]

Well hey it's accurate.

Now watch you're going to disagree. If you do I'm right, you're predictable and I get to laugh at you.

You sound like a blonde who, upon hearing a blonde joke, gets mad and bitterly tells the exact same joke, substituting "brunette" for "blonde".

Oooh! More bitterness!

 

[rdean]

Oh, this is hilarious.

If a conservative doesn't like guns, he doesn't buy one. He can't, he doesn't have a job. His leadership moved his job to China.

If a liberal doesn't like guns, he wants all guns outlawed. Just kidding. It was Obama that expanded gun laws more than any president in decades. Go ahead, ask for a link, I dare you.

If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn't eat meat. No, he eats everything. That's why they're so fat.

If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone. Only the ones that are diseased. Conservatives don't believe in food safety.

If a conservative is homosexual, he quietly leads his life. Until he gets caught at a nearby men's room. Then his wife and family die of embarrassment.
If a liberal is homosexual, he demands legislated respect. If by equal rights, you're right. Besides, only a fool doesn't want respect and equal rights. Or a conservative whose been brainwashed.

If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation. Yea, like how long he has to stand in line for food stamps and welfare.
A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him while he standing in line waiting to register at the college or university.

If a conservative doesn't like a talk show host, he switches channels, to foreign owned Fox where he trusts their lies.
Liberals demand that those they don't like be shut down until they prove what they print is the truth. Do you know that some Americans are so stupid, so easily misled, they actually believe that the President spent 200 million dollars a day on a visit? I know. It's hard to believe anyone could be so stupid.

If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn't go to church. Just kidding. All conservatives are believers. Some say they aren't, but when asked questions, turns out they really are. And they aren't satisfied until they force their mystical beliefs down the throats of every American. In fact, they insist on only some Americans having full citizens rights. Because their religion says it must be so.
A liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and religion kept out of public schools. Many don't want their children exposed to such nonsense. (Don't forget Muslim!!!) Liberals don't want their children exposed to that nonsense either. Seems Christians and Muslims have the same founder and mostly the same beliefs.

If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes straight to the emergency room, thereby costing the public ten times the amount.
A liberal demands the public option. Too bad conservatives blocked it.

If a conservative reads this, and understands more than one word in four, we will all be amazed.
A liberal will be at work. Because he has a job.

Conservatives find the money to buy a gun....even if they don't have a job.

I don't know how Obama rates when it comes to expansion of gun laws but the day he released his new list I couldn't get any ammo for 3 months online.

Not all Conservatives are fat [Just look at Sarah Palin] and not all Liberals are skinny and healthy [Just look at the cast on The View. The Libs are fat and the Conservative is skinny].

Why don't you look it up? Try "Google".
Use this phrase: Gun Rights Expand under Obama

Find some "truth". See what "pop's up".

If we can teach one right winger how to find the truth on his own, the GOP just lost another "sheeple".

 

[Father Time]

You sound like a blonde who, upon hearing a blonde joke, gets mad and bitterly tells the exact same joke, substituting "brunette" for "blonde".

Oooh! More bitterness!

It's telling that instead of actually trying to argue conservatives don't do similar things you just insult everyone who says it.

 

[daveman]

Oooh! More bitterness!

It's telling that instead of actually trying to argue conservatives don't do similar things you just insult everyone who says it.

Are you pretending your bastardization of the OP is somehow original?

 

[midcan5]

"Liberals demand that the social order should in principle be capable of explaining itself at the tribunal of each person's understanding." Jeremy Waldron


There are so many meaningless cliches above it should make a thinking person's head spin. Probably the largest accomplishment of modern power propaganda was the demonization of a single word: Liberal. And yet we live in a land founded on a primary liberal tenet, individual freedom. No society was ever founded on conservatism because conservatism is simply reactionary politics. That should be so clear, yet in the effort to point fingers and not work towards solutions, the conservative relies on this meaningless meme. No conservative has ever answered my very simple question: tell me something conservatism has done that supports the nation and all its people.


For those interested in conservatism, please check out:

The Rhetoric of Reaction - Albert O. Hirschman - Harvard University Press
"He argues that a triplet of 'rhetorical' criticisms--perversity, futility, and jeopardy--'has been unfailingly leveled' by 'reactionaries' at each major progressive reform of the past 300 years--those T. H. Marshall identified with the advancement of civil, political and social rights of citizenship...Charmingly written, this book can benefit a diverse readership."



'What it means to be a liberal'

'By Geoffrey R. Stone. Geoffrey R. Stone, a law professor at the University of Chicago, is the author of "Perilous Times: Free Speech in Wartime."'

"For most of the past four decades, liberals have been in retreat. Since the election of Richard Nixon in 1968, Republicans have controlled the White House 70 percent of the time and Republican presidents have made 86 percent of the U.S. Supreme Court appointments. In many quarters, the word "liberal" has become a pejorative. Part of the problem is that liberals have failed to define themselves and to state clearly what they believe. As a liberal, I find that appalling.

In that light, I thought it might be interesting to try to articulate 10 propositions that seem to me to define "liberal" today. Undoubtedly, not all liberals embrace all of these propositions, and many conservatives embrace at least some of them.

Moreover, because 10 is a small number, the list is not exhaustive. And because these propositions will in some instances conflict, the "liberal" position on a specific issue may not always be predictable. My goal, however, is not to end discussion, but to invite debate.

1. Liberals believe individuals should doubt their own truths and consider fairly and open-mindedly the truths of others. This is at the very heart of liberalism. Liberals understand, as Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes once observed, that "time has upset many fighting faiths." Liberals are skeptical of censorship and celebrate free and open debate.

2. Liberals believe individuals should be tolerant and respectful of difference. It is liberals who have supported and continue to support the civil rights movement, affirmative action, the Equal Rights Amendment and the rights of gays and lesbians. (Note that a conflict between propositions 1 and 2 leads to divisions among liberals on issues like pornography and hate speech.)

3. Liberals believe individuals have a right and a responsibility to participate in public debate. It is liberals who have championed and continue to champion expansion of the franchise; the elimination of obstacles to voting; "one person, one vote;" limits on partisan gerrymandering; campaign-finance reform; and a more vibrant freedom of speech. They believe, with Justice Louis Brandeis, that "the greatest menace to freedom is an inert people." Read rest at link
What it means to be a liberal - Chicago Tribune



"Adam Smith's position on the role of the state in a capitalist society was close to that of a modern twentieth century US liberal democrat." Spence J. Pack

A Short History of Conservative Obstruction to Progress | Conceptual Guerilla

 

[theDoctorisIn]

Oooh! More bitterness!

It's telling that instead of actually trying to argue conservatives don't do similar things you just insult everyone who says it.

Are you pretending your bastardization of the OP is somehow original?

Well, the fact that he came up with it himself means that it's more original than the OP, which is copypasta from a conservo-spam mailing list....

 

[JScott]

This sums it up pretty well.

If a conservative doesn't like guns, he doesn't buy one.
If a liberal doesn't like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.

If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn't eat meat.
If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.

If a conservative is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.
If a liberal is homosexual, he demands legislated respect.

If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.
A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him.

If a conservative doesn't like a talk show host, he switches channels.
Liberals demand that those they don't like be shut down.

If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn't go to church.
A liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced. (Unless it's a Muslim!!!)

If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it.
A liberal demands that the rest of us pay for his.

If a conservative reads this, he'll forward it so his friends can have a good laugh.
A liberal will cry like a bitch because he is "offended"

 

[daveman]

It's telling that instead of actually trying to argue conservatives don't do similar things you just insult everyone who says it.

Are you pretending your bastardization of the OP is somehow original?

Well, the fact that he came up with it himself means that it's more original than the OP, which is copypasta from a conservo-spam mailing list....

But he didn't come up with it himself. He told a blond joke and used "brunette" instead.