USMB Coffee Shop IV

[Sarah G]

It's early April and I get a little blue this time of year. Yesterday, April 4, was the ninth anniversary of Pop's death. It's a subject that is maudlin and self serving in my opinion, but it was an important day and something I feel compelled to write about. I beg your forgiveness in advance.

April 3, 2008 was a Thursday. My car was in the shop. It's a Chrysler PT Cruiser. Don't laugh. It's warmer than a go-kart. Pop graciously drove me home from the office that afternoon. We sat in front of the Luxurious Pimplebutt Estate admiring the tulips that were in full bloom that peculiarly warm spring. I kissed Pop on the cheek and thanked him for the ride. That was the last time I would have the chance to talk with him.

I got the call from the Big House at 3:00 am. It was my brother who told me that there was something terribly wrong and he would be down to pick me up directly. When we pulled into the driveway, the ambulance was already there, lights flashing with gaudy red and yellow and extraordinarily bright.

Pop lay catatonic on the floor of the upstairs hallway. The AED (automatic electronic defibulator) I bought the folks for Christmas just four months ago, was out of the case and the stick-on paddles were untangled. The EMTs were working hard to get Pop strapped to the gurney for the trip to the hospital.

I asked my brother what was going on. He explained that Mom told him Pop complained of a terrible headache around 2:00 am, grasped the back of his head and collapsed to the floor. "This is bad" he said on our way to the emergency room.

Pop was whisked inside and out of our sight. The attending doctor came to us about 45 minutes later. He told us that Pop had suffered a hemorrhagic stroke and "we don't expect a good outcome". I thought, "Just like FDR".

After about an hour and 45 minutes, we were let into the emergency room alcove where Pop lay straining for breath. His eyes were closed, yet there was a visible grimace of pain on his usually pleasant face. The death struggle had begun.

The hospital chaplain, a most amiable man, stopped in and offered a prayer. He prayed for a speedy recovery and full vitality. Everyone knew that was not to be. Aunt Roxie (Mom's sister) and Uncle Jim showed up about a quarter to five and joined me, my brother, my sister-in-law and Mom around Pop's bed. We joined hands and silently watched Pop slip away.

By shear coincidence, the pastor who had officiated at my brother's wedding the preceding July was in the ER that fateful morning. He of course recognized the family and offered a prayer of his own.

He prayed for a peaceful passing, a reunion with God and loved ones dear departed. He offered each of us his blessing and left respectfully.

As soon as he was gone, Pop's head and shoulders rose from the bed. He turned slightly to his right and died. It was 5:04 am Friday April 4, 2008. The second minister knew what we needed, what Pop needed and what was appropriate.

Pop passed surrounded by his family in as much peace and dignity as a stroke could offer. The rest of that Friday was a blur. Going down to Dawson's Funeral Home to make the arraignments. Taking Pop's blue serge suit to the dry cleaners, picking out a tie and buying him a new dress shirt, one without a frayed collar and gravy stains.

Today, nine years after the fact, recalling those events can be both comfort and pain, sadness and joy. Joy knowing Pop did not suffer, did not lose his dignity by a long, debilitating disease.

Things just haven't been the same. I miss him a lot.

. Sorry for your loss, Nosmo.

Thanks Sarah. A very good friend of mine has borne more grief than a human should. Her husband died in her arms of a heart attack out on the sidewalks of Brooklyn. Five years later, after the havoc of Hurricane Sandy, her only daughter succumbed at age thirty of sepsis.

Her world was shattered. Wracked with grief, she struggled for years. But, after time and loving memory ran its course, she found herself coping better by not idealizing her departed family.

She 're-humanized' them. It sounds cruel, but sometimes a cruel blow is best dealt with by minor cruelty. She would remember how her husband irritated her with his snoring, his irresponsibility with their disposable income, his indifference to his pedicure. She remembered how her daughter would spring surprise on her by bringing friends for dinner without notice or how she would max out her credit cards at Victoria's Secret or at the cosmetics counter at Macy's.

After months of this, she could finally recall them with a rational happiness instead of the irrational grief she struggled with for so long.

As George Harrison once said, 'whatever gets you through the night'.

What a good idea. I guess I don't really have fond memories of my mom so maybe if I begin to remember some good things about her, it will bring my bitter feelings about her and my childhood more in line.

When I hear a story about a kid and their strong bond with a parent, it makes me feel good and warm and at peace.

So glad your friend found peace.

 

[yiostheoy]

As George Harrison once said, 'whatever gets you through the night'.

He was singing about dope and booze though.

 

[yiostheoy]

What a good idea. I guess I don't really have fond memories of my mom so maybe if I begin to remember some good things about her, it will bring my bitter feelings about her and my childhood more in line.

When I hear a story about a kid and their strong bond with a parent, it makes me feel good and warm and at peace.

So glad your friend found peace.

Sometimes it is better just to forget, realizing God has limitations and cannot give everybody a rose garden.

 

[yiostheoy]

It's early April and I get a little blue this time of year. Yesterday, April 4, was the ninth anniversary of Pop's death. It's a subject that is maudlin and self serving in my opinion, but it was an important day and something I feel compelled to write about. I beg your forgiveness in advance.

April 3, 2008 was a Thursday. My car was in the shop. It's a Chrysler PT Cruiser. Don't laugh. It's warmer than a go-kart. Pop graciously drove me home from the office that afternoon. We sat in front of the Luxurious Pimplebutt Estate admiring the tulips that were in full bloom that peculiarly warm spring. I kissed Pop on the cheek and thanked him for the ride. That was the last time I would have the chance to talk with him.

I got the call from the Big House at 3:00 am. It was my brother who told me that there was something terribly wrong and he would be down to pick me up directly. When we pulled into the driveway, the ambulance was already there, lights flashing with gaudy red and yellow and extraordinarily bright.

Pop lay catatonic on the floor of the upstairs hallway. The AED (automatic electronic defibulator) I bought the folks for Christmas just four months ago, was out of the case and the stick-on paddles were untangled. The EMTs were working hard to get Pop strapped to the gurney for the trip to the hospital.

I asked my brother what was going on. He explained that Mom told him Pop complained of a terrible headache around 2:00 am, grasped the back of his head and collapsed to the floor. "This is bad" he said on our way to the emergency room.

Pop was whisked inside and out of our sight. The attending doctor came to us about 45 minutes later. He told us that Pop had suffered a hemorrhagic stroke and "we don't expect a good outcome". I thought, "Just like FDR".

After about an hour and 45 minutes, we were let into the emergency room alcove where Pop lay straining for breath. His eyes were closed, yet there was a visible grimace of pain on his usually pleasant face. The death struggle had begun.

The hospital chaplain, a most amiable man, stopped in and offered a prayer. He prayed for a speedy recovery and full vitality. Everyone knew that was not to be. Aunt Roxie (Mom's sister) and Uncle Jim showed up about a quarter to five and joined me, my brother, my sister-in-law and Mom around Pop's bed. We joined hands and silently watched Pop slip away.

By shear coincidence, the pastor who had officiated at my brother's wedding the preceding July was in the ER that fateful morning. He of course recognized the family and offered a prayer of his own.

He prayed for a peaceful passing, a reunion with God and loved ones dear departed. He offered each of us his blessing and left respectfully.

As soon as he was gone, Pop's head and shoulders rose from the bed. He turned slightly to his right and died. It was 5:04 am Friday April 4, 2008. The second minister knew what we needed, what Pop needed and what was appropriate.

Pop passed surrounded by his family in as much peace and dignity as a stroke could offer. The rest of that Friday was a blur. Going down to Dawson's Funeral Home to make the arraignments. Taking Pop's blue serge suit to the dry cleaners, picking out a tie and buying him a new dress shirt, one without a frayed collar and gravy stains.

Today, nine years after the fact, recalling those events can be both comfort and pain, sadness and joy. Joy knowing Pop did not suffer, did not lose his dignity by a long, debilitating disease.

Things just haven't been the same. I miss him a lot.

The first anniversary is always hard.

 

[Ridgerunner]

As George Harrison once said, 'whatever gets you through the night'.

Whatever Gets You Thru the Night

"Whatever Gets You Thru the Night" is a song written by John Lennon, released as a single in 1974 on …

 

[Montrovant]

After doing a good deal of studying today, I'm feeling pretty good about my next proctored exam tomorrow. Hopefully labeling muscles isn't as annoying as it was when I drew a blank labeling bones.

 

[gallantwarrior]

Well, I lost the doe with the retained placenta this afternoon. She leaves an orphan behind. But perhaps there's a ray of light, after all. A couple of does got out with the buck that afternoon. I was going back to check on my ailing doe and I noticed another doe cleaning up a newborn kid. She's had a single, so there's an extra faucet available. I'm going to try to "graft" the orphan and see if this second doe won't nurse her. I feel bad about the doe that died, and the kid that died birthing, but death is really just the flip side of life, isn't it? My focus now is keeping the orphan alive and thriving.
Things are turning into a slushy mess here. It always takes a while for the snow to melt away completely. In the meantime, it's a mess. I keep falling into holes in what was solid snow pack. Yuck! But, this too will pass as a part of the cycle of life and Nature. Soon, warm, sunny days will come and the slush will turn to mud.

 

[yiostheoy]

Well, I lost the doe with the retained placenta this afternoon. She leaves an orphan behind. But perhaps there's a ray of light, after all. A couple of does got out with the buck that afternoon. I was going back to check on my ailing doe and I noticed another doe cleaning up a newborn kid. She's had a single, so there's an extra faucet available. I'm going to try to "graft" the orphan and see if this second doe won't nurse her. I feel bad about the doe that died, and the kid that died birthing, but death is really just the flip side of life, isn't it? My focus now is keeping the orphan alive and thriving.
Things are turning into a slushy mess here. It always takes a while for the snow to melt away completely. In the meantime, it's a mess. I keep falling into holes in what was solid snow pack. Yuck! But, this too will pass as a part of the cycle of life and Nature. Soon, warm, sunny days will come and the slush will turn to mud.

I have a friend who raised an orphaned fawn and after that he could not hunt them anymore.

 

[Kat]

Sometimes it is better just to forget, realizing God has limitations and cannot give everybody a rose garden.

I disagree. God is just not a puppet master, and we the puppets. We are free to make choices.

 

[Foxfyre]

And we continue to pray and/or send good vibes and/or positive thoughts and/or keep vigil for:

Harper (Save's granddaughter),
Pogo’s friend Pat and special comfort for Pogo,
Freedombecki,
Noomi!!!
Nosmo's mom,
Ernie's stop smoking project,
Rod, GW's partner,
The Ringels in difficult transition,
Boedicca's Dad,
Foxfyre's friend Dana and Aunt Betty,
Etherion and his grandma,
Kat's sister,
Gallant Warrior's chilly goats,
The Ringel's Gizmo and wellness for Ringel,
Special prayers and/or positive thoughts for Sherry's mom and her life saving medical treatment.
GW's daughter, her friend Sachendra, and Sachendra's husband Bob and son Gary in what is probably Sachendra's last days.
Mrs. Saveliberty with her knee surgery.
Hombre's sore toes,
The Gracies just because,
Special prayers and/or positive thoughts for Mr. Peach and Peach143 in the coming days and wellness for them both.
Ernie!!!
SFC Ollie and his special project.
All of us and those we care about who are looking for work,

And the light is left on for Alan, Noomi, Freedombecki, Oddball, Sixfoot, Spoonman, and all others we hope will find their way back.

Whether one looks to God or fate for their blessings and comfort, there can be no knowledge of joy without sorrow existing; there cannot be great love without grief existing; there can be no triumph without failure existing. Yet blessings and comfort exist.--anonymous​

 

[Nosmo King]

As George Harrison once said, 'whatever gets you through the night'.

Whatever Gets You Thru the Night

"Whatever Gets You Thru the Night" is a song written by John Lennon, released as a single in 1974 on …

I thought it was George's song. Those pesky Beatles!

 

[saveliberty]

I'm looking around now for handymen who can install one...I know a disposal is about $100, it's ridiculous what they quoted me. Unbelievable!

I'm not desperate for one so it's not like I can't survive....just makes me angry.

I just had a new A/C unit installed for $5,000 by them in august and my daughter paid for that...I think they figured they can charge anything and my daughter will pay but she called around and that price is crazy!

Before I said no, I asked how long it would take and he said not long at all, so it's not that labor intensive either.

Grrrrrr...so upset I had to eat a white chocolate covered peanut butter egg.

Gee, I could fly to your house install the disposal and fly back for that.

 

[Dajjal]

I heard on the news last night that Lloyds bank are closing another 100 branches, and I stayed awake worrying about it, because I bank with them and it would be a problem as I have several direct debits I would have to move. But I checked the list of banks that are closing and my branch is not one of them.

 

[Dajjal]

I just brought an Andrei Rublev DVD from Amazon. It was on television from 12 am to 4am but I could not be bothered to stay up all night watching it. I saw it many years ago.

Having brought that I then ordered Seven Samurai, I might well catch up with my favorite films.

 

[Dajjal]

 

[Foxfyre]

Good morning all. A gorgeous bright blue spring day in Albuquerque with temps maybe even up to 70. Pleasant house hunting for the Ringels.

 

[Sarah G]

Good morning all. A gorgeous bright blue spring day in Albuquerque with temps maybe even up to 70. Pleasant house hunting for the Ringels.

Nice!

 

[gallantwarrior]

Good morning all. A gorgeous bright blue spring day in Albuquerque with temps maybe even up to 70. Pleasant house hunting for the Ringels.

Still too early to tell whether we'll have bright blue spring day. The weather prognosticators are telling us we'll be getting rain/snow the next few days.
I played hookey from work last night to care for my orphan and her (hopefully) new mom. Just came back in from an early morning check and the orphan was able to nurse, although her "mom" wasn't entirely happy about the procedure. I'm thinking, with continued "encouragement" she'll accept the second baby and things will be fine.
I liked Albuquerque, but the Lake Roberts area was much more to my taste. I really liked the mountains and have spent some time riding the Continental Divide on mule back.

 

[CeeCee]

I'm looking around now for handymen who can install one...I know a disposal is about $100, it's ridiculous what they quoted me. Unbelievable!

I'm not desperate for one so it's not like I can't survive....just makes me angry.

I just had a new A/C unit installed for $5,000 by them in august and my daughter paid for that...I think they figured they can charge anything and my daughter will pay but she called around and that price is crazy!

Before I said no, I asked how long it would take and he said not long at all, so it's not that labor intensive either.

Grrrrrr...so upset I had to eat a white chocolate covered peanut butter egg.

Gee, I could fly to your house install the disposal and fly back for that.

I put a notice out in my neighborhood app and did get a reply back from a neighbor saying that was robbery what they quoted me and that he could do it for the price of the disposal and about $50!

It is robbery and I'm still angry about it...I gave that company a great review on yelp for my A\C
Unit and I was probably overcharged for that also.

 

[Nosmo King]

I just brought an Andrei Rublev DVD from Amazon. It was on television from 12 am to 4am but I could not be bothered to stay up all night watching it. I saw it many years ago.

Having brought that I then ordered Seven Samurai, I might well catch up with my favorite films.

Akiro Kirosawa! My favorite of his is Rashomon.